Isabella's

POV

My apartment is old but the view out of the window is amazing and soothing. I am sitting on a cane chair, looking out of the window, imagining what my life would have been if it was this beautiful. Beautiful like this magnificent view of Paris.

But it isn't.

I am living in an old building that has no elevator to ease my every morning exercise of going to a bookstore to get a new book to read for the day to keep me company or going grocery shopping. My room is on the fifth floor and it isn't an easy task to get on the staircase from the ground floor up here with my protruding belly.

I try as much as possible not to go out, not only because I don't want anyone to see me, anyone who might recognize me as the billionaire's wife but also because taking the staircase down is tiring. When I first got here, I enjoyed going out to the bookstore every day. I buy a book every day but now I have them stockpiled for a whole week or even a month.

I have no job and reading has become the only job I employed myself for with no pay. I can read a complete book in a day while other times, I read half of it before sleep overtakes me. Aside from reading, I eat a lot and sleep a lot. I do my exercises indoors now and I watch movies when I am tired of reading or straining my eyes to read.

At night, when the light of the apartment has been cut off sometimes, I watch movies on my phone.

Netflix is the next best thing that has happened to me. Netflix alone is boring, though all these affairs take my mind off my pathetic life.

I have been doing so well in the months since I left America. Sometimes, I miss home, other times, I feel happy for making this decision.

I remember Jayden every single day, every single moment of the day, every second, even when I am asleep.

I dream of him.

Last night, he was crying in my dream. I don't know how Helena looked physically but I saw a woman turning her back to Jayden and me while he was crying. I figured she must be Helena.

She didn't turn back but she looked unhappy with her sagged shoulder. Then I heard the cries of a baby and Jayden went ballistic.

I don't know what to make of this dream. I have never had such a nightmare in the past few months since I have been staying here, hiding here.

All I dream of is Jayden smiling. Seriously. Or about the s*x that led to all of this.

Even if I don't want to be reminded of him, won't this baby kicking inside remind me about him?

It will.

I went for a scan yesterday and the doctor proudly announced to me that the baby is a boy. I didn't smile.

I was just relieved that my baby is fine. I didn't care if it was going to be a boy or a girl until yesterday when it was revealed that I am going to give birth to a bouncing baby boy soon.

If the baby is going to be a girl that looks just like me, maybe I won't be this bothered about her reminding me of her father but now that I know it is a boy, I know he is going to be the replica of his father.

The same eyes. The same smile. The same face.

My mind has been going off and on, more frequently than it has always been doing since I left home.

I have been so strong, so determined not to think about home but now that resolve has vanished into thin air.

I am remembering everyone.

Juliet, Grandma, Safina, Sabrina, Gabriel, Eunice, Mrs. Russell, and finally Jayden.

I wonder how they are all doing. I wonder if anyone apart from Grandma misses me.

I know Grandma misses me a lot and it breaks my heart to think that I did this without considering her feelings.

Even though I called her before leaving America. I told her I would be fine and she should not worry about me. I told her I will be back home soon and that I just need some time alone. I didn't tell her it would take months. I didn't tell her I have no intentions of coming back to America until my child is born and grown up.

She was crying as I said those words. I know how much she wanted me to have a child but I couldn't grant her wish because I had to save my baby.

Jayden doesn't want babies and he might force me to abort the baby by using the conditions of the contract binding us.

That scared the shit out of me and I ran. I left America without thinking and I have been stuck in this old apartment for months with no friends, no relatives, and no pet to keep me company, except of course my baby. The one inside of me.

I put off my phone after calling Grandma and threw it into the sea. I was scared that I would be tracked. Jayden is bent on replaceing me and I was determined not to be found until my baby is born.

Now, I want to hear her voice so desperately. I want to know if she is fine. I want her to know that I am still alive, hale, and healthy.

She is the reason why I am in this contracted marriage and I wasn't supposed to shut her off that way but I was scared that she would tell Jayden every single thing, including my location and he would replace me.

I got a new phone the moment I got to Paris.

Paris is indeed beautiful and I toured the city the second day I landed in Paris. I have always been one who derives pleasure from being alone not until Juliet came into my life but now, the silence is killing me. The loneliness is doing unspeakable things to my emotions.

These past few days, I have been crying for no reason. I don't know if it is the pregnancy symptoms or the fact that there is no one here to console me.

This is one of the reasons why I want to talk to my only surviving relative. If only my parents are alive, I won't be lonely. I might not even be in this situation and it is making me miss everyone in America, including Juliet.

If she hadn't betrayed me, I would have told her everything including my location. She knows how best to cheer me up and make me feel better but I have no one.

No one wants to be friends with a woman who has been assumed to be married and have people from her husband's side and her parent's side surrounding her, talking excitedly about how the baby will be welcome to the world and even how to organize a baby shower for me.

A tear rolls down my eyes and I know it will continue this way till nightfall if I don't do something.

Forcing my eyes off the views of the window, I dial Grandma's phone and it rings before going into voicemail.

I call again and it's the same thing. My heart begins to race in fear that something must have happened to her.

Did she have an attack after the call that morning? Did she fall and broke a leg while trying to search for me? Did something bad happen to her?

I keep calling until it is certain that there is no one at home to answer the call and my cries increase.

I facepalm myself and drop the phone on the coffee table to cry out my eyes.

I killed her! I killed my Grandma!

I shouldn't have come here without her. I should have stayed back and avoided Jayden instead.

Why did I leave? Jayden can not possibly force me to abort a baby that I want, right? Why didn't I stay back to at least hear what he has to say? Whether he wants the baby or not doesn't even matter. What matters is my choice to keep it. I continue to cry until I hear a sound. The neighbor next door.

I have been doing this for days and she is always the one to stop my tears by knocking on my door.

I don't know why she always does that but I believe my cries are disturbing her peace.

"Open the door, please. Let's talk!" I hear her shrill voice.

I wipe my tears but I don't stand up from where I am sitting. It is too much of a big deal to wander around too when I am already seated on this cane chair which makes me look like an old woman.

Now I know the reason why she is here. She wants to become friends with me and probably questions the reason for my constant tears but I am not interested in making any friend who will put any blame on me.

I have seen this woman once and I wonder if she is married or single.

When she doesn't hear any reply, I hear her feet fading away and then the slamming of her door.

I let out a sigh and my phone rings immediately.

No one calls me except the bookstore sales representative or the doctor who usually fixes an appointment for me twice a month.

When I pick up the phone, Grandma's name flashes across the screen and my courage disappears.

She is alive!

I am relieved. To satisfy my curiosity, I pick up the call and place the phone to my ears.

"Hello." She says calmly.

It's her voice. She is fine. She is doing well.

"Hello, who is this?" She asks but I can't say anything. A lump is stuck in my throat. I can't replace my voice. I don't even know what I want to say to her.

"Bella?" She calls and a small gasp escapes my mouth. "Isabella, is that you?"

She can feel it. She knows I will definitely call someday. She has been waiting for this moment.

I nod, instead of answering.

"Isabella..."

"Yes", I only say with my hoarse voice. "It's me, Grandma."

I expect her to become excited but she doesn't say a word anymore. The silence ensues for a moment before she asks. "Where are you?"

She sounds angry.

I do not respond. I continue to listen to the heavy silence.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine, Grandma. You don't need to be worried about me."

"I want to know where you are", she mutters again, her tone laced with anger and worry.

I do not plan to tell her where I am but I don't want her to continue being angry with me. We will meet again but not now. It won't hurt to tell her where I am. She can't replace me unless I want to be found. "Paris?" It sounds like a question but I close my eyes for her to process my announcement.

"Paris?" She scoffs. "Bella, you are in Paris?" Her voice is breaking as though she is about to cry.

I didn't call for this. I called for comfort.

I shouldn't have told her.

Before she can say any more words, I quickly disconnect the call and put my phone away.

I shouldn't have called her now. I shouldn't have called her with my number.

I hope she won't begin to pester me to come home now. All I wanted to do was assure that I am fine.

But now, all I am hoping for is for her to forgive me for being a prodigal daughter.

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