Alkine Academy
Jaci • 24

I'm letting it go.

For today anyway.

I will not let Cal get to me. Today I'm going to celebrate my birthday with my mates and let every worry escape me.

Al least that's what I'm going to try my damnest to do.

Besides, I'm more worried about the auction tomorrow night than Cals hatred toward me.

If he wants Max more than me then so be it. I be damned if I'm going to let what Cals doing ruin my day.

After what Ora and Asher confessed to me and Faron last night, I can understand exactly why Cal is lashing out but what I can't understand is why his hatred is aimed toward me.

Nope! Don't think about it, today is my day. I'm not going to let it overshadow my day. I won't!

That's why at this moment I'm preparing a lovely breakfast casserole for my mates.

Afterwards I plan on going to the Safari Park. I love feeding all the animals the little pellet supplements in those tiny buckets. You get an up close view at some the most amazing creatures. I've only been once before when I was around eleven, with my parents, the loving memory has stuck with me and I would love if we could have a reenactment of it.

They told me last night that today was my day and we could do anything I wanted and this is exactly what I want to do today; so badly. I miss my parents and I would love to have a moment where I could relive a happy time in our lives.

Removing the casserole from the oven, Faron walks into the kitchen just in time.

"Something smells good." He walks over to me, wrapping his big strong arms around my waist, kissing me on my shoulder.

"Thought I would surprise you all with a good breakfast. Sit down. Eat." I tell him. Placing the casserole on the table and just in the nick of time Asher and Ora slowly join us.

"It's your birthday sweet cheeks you shouldn't have cooked for us. We should be cooking for you." Ora wraps his arms gently around my shoulders, planting little kisses along my neck. I can't help but to melt into his embrace. How did I get so lucky?

"I don't mind sit, eat, before it's cold." Ora kisses me on my cheek, taking his seat at the table, granting me one his gorgeous smiles.

"Happy birthday baby." Asher does the same as Ora did to me, he places feathery type kisses along my neck also. Though it's technically not my birthday until tomorrow I still appreciate the gesture.

"Thank you. Now all of you eat. We got a big day planned." I say with a lot of enthusiasm, sitting down next to Faron. As I take my seat Faron brushes his soft lips across my cheek.

"Happy birthday baby." Faron sweetly tells me.

With a bit of gusto forming inside of me for today's rendezvous, I start to eat hurriedly, impatiently waiting for my happy day to begin.

"Happy birthday my sweet niece. Hope you're day goes well. I'll be back next week and hopefully we can catch up then. How does a belated birthday dinner sound?" My Uncle Liam has been gone for over a week now. He's been in Paris at psychology seminar. Every now and again he calls to check up on me or sends me a text. Like now.

"Perfect. Love you." I do miss him. I wish he was here so I could talk to him about my problems but I don't want to unload on him with him being so far away. Maybe when he returns I can talk to him about Cal but then again he may just want to rip Cal in two if I describe to him all of the sordid details that's been happening between Cal and I.

I'll leave it be for now, let him enjoy hisself for awhile. He deserves some peace and quiet. He doesn't need to worry about me. I'm a big girl I can replace my own solution. One way or the other.

"Ditto!" Placing my phone back in my pocket, I pick up the little white bucket filled with pellets.

Rolling down window, in the passenger seat, I extend the bucket to a passing emu.

He graciously accepts my offering. Gobbling down his food rapidly, his excitement makes me giggle. Causing everyone in the vehicle to laugh along with me. Another emu starts walking slowly up to my window, standing right beside the other emu he pushes his long neck inside of the SUV, greedily taking over. The over eagerly emus make me continuously laugh at there antics.

I knew this would be so much fun!

"Hungry little fuckers aren't they?" Ora laughs along with me, watching the emus completely consume all of the little pellets.

"I'm empty." I apologize to the rambunctious emus, rolling up my window I wave goodbye to them. Watching them both walk away from us gradually.

"Here take mine." Asher offers me another bucket generously from the backseat. Grabbing the tiny bucket I give him a smile. Faron already gave me his earlier, they're all being so courteous toward me.

"Thank you." As we drive further into the park, we see a caravan of camels amply coming toward us at a slow and wistful pace.

One giant camel, walks carefully up to my window, I ease the window down holding the bucket up for him to eat.

The camel snorts blowing his disgusting drivel all over me, all my mates laugh at my misfortune. The blasted camel has no manners apparently.

Luckily the camel ignores my revolting sounds, he slobbers the contents down hungrily.

Emptying yet another container, in our five mile ride along the safari. Thankfully we come to the end just as all of our containers are now empty.

"Can we do a walkthrough?" I eagerly ask Ora, practically jumping in my seat.

I would love to be able to pet the bengal tigers and the giraffes on our journey. The exotic animals has always been my favorites.

"It's your birthday sweet cheeks. You're wish is my command." Ora tells me, if only he knew what I actually wished for he wouldn't be offering them up so easily. At this point I have so many wishes that I wish would come true.

One being that I didn't have to do this stupid auction and of course the other is Cal. I wish he would get the help that he so needs and stop taking all of his problems out on me.

But if you shit in one hand and wish in the other you only end up with a giant handful of poop, unfortunately!

"I don't remember them being so tall." Petting a majorly heightened giraffe, I'm in awe of its height and super long neck. The last time I was here I don't think that I can remember them being so tall before.

"Jaci!" Hearing someone calling out my name, I search around the looking for the unknown caller.

Seeing Starla amongst the other patrons, I dash quickly over to her. Excited to see he after all of this time. I give her giant hug when I reach her. I missed her quirkiness. I only get to see her in our classes now which isn't long enough to even have a decent conversation.

"Hey Starla! How have you been?" I ask when I release her. Looking her over I notice that she's looks a bit paler than the last time that I seen her. Her eyes look a bit bloodshot from crying. I could kick myself for not checking up on her sooner.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Seeing her in such dismay has me a little worried. The guys walk slowly over to us but don't crowd us thankfully. Starla would never open to me if they were around.

"Guy trouble. Of course. Isn't that always the reason a woman cries?" Starla half heartedly laughs at her statement but I can see the sadness reflected in her eyes. I personally know what she is referring to but this moment isn't about me.

"Want to talk about it? We can can somewhere more private." Starla starts to reply until she notices my mates behind us.

I knew she would clam up as soon as she saw them behind us.

Feeling a bit dejected at their proximity, I grab Starla's arm, guiding her over to more private section of the walkthrough.

"Ok now spill." At first she hesitates looking over her shoulder at the guys but when she sees them further away she starts to open up: a little.

"I meet my mates and they're not what imagined them to be." She goes on tell me exactly what's been going on between her and her mates.

(A/N I can't tell you because it's in my next story. Wouldn't want to give anything away. I'm sorry. Not! 🥲)

"If there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to call me. I'm always here for you Starla."

After we said our goodbyes I realize how much she and I have in common. Ruthless mates are not easy bunch to handle.

Casually strolling back over to my ruthless but loving mates. I hear my tummy grumble. I think it's time to blow this pop stand and get us some grub post haste.

"Happy birthday to you..."

After eating our fill at one of my favorite restaurants Los Portales, the waiters arrive at our table. Singing happy birthday, way off key, clapping their hands loudly, with a lovely dessert and a giant sombrero in their hands.

Placing the sombrero on my head, while my jerky mates sing a long with them them. Embarrassingly.

I know their antics are nothing but playful, but its the love and care that they are showing me that sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

The only other people that has shown me this type of love was my parents and of course my Uncle. I've never felt this so lovingly appreciated. Eyeing them as they all have enormous smile on their faces makes me come to heart stopping halting realization.

I love them.

I mean I really honestly love them.

Ora was hard to love at first but somewhere along the way he found his way into my heart before I even knew what was happening. Je t'aime swooped right in and enraptured me.

Asher has always showed me so much kindness and respect. How can I not love him? He has a humongous heart and is always looking after me. He's loyal and very dedicated, he makes me swoon at the very thought of being with him.

Faron slowly worked his way into my good graces. Casually edging his way into the deep creases of my heart. His determination and fierce protectiveness sends my heart into palpitations.

How did I not realize I was falling in love with them?

As the waiters finish their song, I hardly register them removing the sombrero from my head, traumatized my sobering thoughts.

I'm scared to love them. I always have been. From the instant I met Cal I knew I was in trouble.

Now to come to this sudden perception of my confusing emotions, leaves me utterly speechless.

What have I gotten myself into?

"Hey you ok? Did the singing embarrass you?" Asher ask me curiously. Breaking me away from my unimaginable musings.

"Uhm..no. No they didn't embarrass me." I lie.

To flustered to make amicable conversation at the moment.

Moving the desert around on my plate they all notice my in inattentiveness.

"Would you like to go?" Faron worriedly ask me.

"Yes. Please." I answer him dismissively. Dropping my fork on my plate with a clatter.

"Is there anything else you would like to do today?" Glancing across the table at Asher's question, I just can't seem to formulate the words that I so desperately want to tell him.

Instead, I relinquish, to disparaged to continue on with my day.

"Let's just go home." I respond halfheartedly.

Rising from my seat quickly, wanting to get the hell out of here as fast as I possibly can, I dash pass my mates in a panicked hurry.

Leaving them in the restaurant, as soon as I open the restaurant doors, I take a huge breath of the cold brisk air. Inhaling deeply.

Trying to calm my heightened nerves.

Standing alone in front of the building, lost in thought, the guys exit behind me.

Ora comes to stand by my side clearly worried about me. The worry is etched all over his handsome face.

"I'm sorry. I just have a headache. No need to worry." I lie my ass off yet again.

Not wanting them to worry about me.

"Let's get you home then and get you some aspirin. We have big plans for tonight." Ora confesses.

I don't exactly know what to expect with their big plans for me but I can bet it will lead to another interesting night, at least it gives me time to work on these ramped up thoughts that are running frantically through my brain, hopefully.

When we arrived home, we walked in to an unfortunate and foreign scene.

Of course it had to be Cal to ruin a perfectly good day.

Him and Max are openly making out on the sofa.

Max is sucking Cals cock like he's starving. They're both completely nude and unabashedly never stop what they're doing when they hear us enter the room.

Cal has Maxs hair wrapped in his fist, pushing Maxs head forcefully into his dick without any compunction.

We're all too stunned to move. Knowing about Cals and Maxs relationship is one thing but seeing it up closely is another story.

Amazingly, it doesn't effect me in the slightest.

I don't feel anger. I don't feel loss.

I actually don't feel anything but: shocked.

The sight before me, honestly doesn't bother me. Which is, in its own way, is very disturbing to me.

I should feel anger. I should feel disappointment but I just....don't.

Maybe there is something wrong with me? Maybe I'm the one who is screwed up?

Or just maybe I quit giving a damn!

Walking away from their forbidden fornication, I hear Cals laughter echoing behind me, ignoring it and his stupidity, I head off to the kitchen, feeling basically: nothing.

The guys follow behind apologizing fiercely for what we just witnessed.

I shock them all when I tell them just how exactly what I'm feeling about it.

"It doesn't bother me," when I see the doubt on their faces, I continue explaining, "it really doesn't. For some odd reason all I feel is shock and no pain toward it. Is that awful?" I desperately want them to tell me that something is wrong with me because if they don't then I can only come to two conclusions that I either don't care about Cal and his transgressions or I'm a fucking soulless creature.

"Maybe you care some but not enough for it to effect you drastically? Don't sweat it sweet cheeks. You and Cal will work out your issues. Cal is just going through some major shit right now." Ora softly informs me.

Maybe, but then again maybe I'm becoming just a heartless bitch. I don't want to be that type of cynical person.

Is this what I have actually become?

Someone who could actually care less about what their own mate is doing?

Or has Cal just destroyed my feelings for him so much that I can never picture myself coming back from the trauma of it.

Is it because it's Max that's the person that Cal has chosen to betray me with? If it was another woman would I care about any of Cals bullshit?

Trying to picture Asher, Ora, or Faron with another person like that, does upset up, just the thought of them with someone other than me brings my raging jealousy issues to the forefront.

The only conclusion I can fathom is it's because I truly don't love Cal like I do the others.

This revaluation has my anxiety rising rapidly.

"Ora can I ask you a serious question and please don't be offended or laugh at me?" Eying Ora I search his eyes imploring him for his honesty.

"Sure."

"If I wanted to have sex with someone else would that upset you?" I ask innocently.

"Well. Yes it would. I don't want you with some other guy Jaci. You're mine! Ours! If some other guy touches you I would definitely kill him?" He says so viscously.

"What if it was a girl?" That stumped him. Oras eyes go wide, scowling in drop concentration.

"Yes. Even if it was with a girl Jaci I would still be pissed about it! It's cheating plain and simple. Why are you asking me about this?" He ask me very curiously.

How do I tell them that what Cal is doing with Max doesn't affect me in the slightest?

I did care for Cal once, but I don't think I could ever love or trust him ever again. I have no idea what I'm going to do about this situation. He is their brother and if I hurt him by letting him go I will also be hurting them also. It's nothing but a major fucked up situation.

Maybe they can understand my dilemma, I don't want to come in between them over this. I can't.

I would leave before I had them all fighting over me. I will not break apart a family.

Watching them stare at me waiting for reply, I can sense their frustration.

"What Cal is doing doesn't bother me. I don't care if he's sleeping with Max. I don't care if he's sleeping with anybody. Is it only because I don't love him or that I don't have the same feelings for him that I use to harbor?" My emotional turmoil is nothing but confusing. "I don't know! All I do know is that even if I forgive Cal for what he has done I don't think that I will ever be able to trust him again. If any of you decided that I wasn't enough and cheated on me like he is then it would absolutely kill me. But not with Cal. I feel...nothing."

With my eyes never leaving them I watch different emotions flash across their gorgeous faces.

"I know you're upset about what Cal is doing, but Jaci we are not like him. I wouldn't do that to you Jaci. I care for you far to much to cheat on you. Ever!" I knew Asher would be the one who so lovingly cares about me.

"Me either. I don't want anyone else but you." Faron explains wholeheartedly.

I look to Ora waiting on his reply. He is the closest one to Cal out of the brothers. I just want him to understand my feelings over this.

"No. You're it for me sweet cheeks. My one and only." Ora says it with so much passion. "I'm not Cal."

Releasing a breath that I didn't realize I've been holding, I'm relieved to hear how they feel about our relationship.

I couldn't cheat on them either.

But with Cal it has to be because I have no love for him any longer. Whatever feelings I did have for him faded away long ago with his obdurate actions.

Resolved over my inner thoughts, though I do miss Cal but what he is doing isn't a main concern for me any longer. Asher, Faron, and Ora they are my concern. I love them all. All of mates.

All except Cal of course. Max can fucking keep him!

Filler chapter.