Alpha Nicholas
Chapter 18 –

Bonnie

The moment the door closes I let the tears fall. I meant every word that I said to my mate. I do understand that it doesn't always work. Sometimes a wolf replaces their mate but doesn't want them, other times there is a chosen mate that they would rather and there's also the rare occasion where a wolf doesn't want a mate at all, and while I don't think that is the case for Alpha Nicholas given that he's an Alpha and they are much more possessive of mates, I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first and second option when it comes to my mate. I wouldn't be surprised at him not wanting me and I'm almost certain that there's more to him and that she-wolf that he was helping at the ball.

Regardless of what his reasoning is I just want him to be happy and if that means him rejecting me then I'm ok with that, it just means that I need to figure out a new plan for my life. Sadness washes over me as I think of my life without Lily but she's got her Mate now and I couldn't be anymore happier for her. I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't be heartbroken to leave her here tomorrow. I've never known a life without her and it seems almost impossible to think of another day without her but maybe I'll get to see her one day.

Reality settles deep in my bones when It hits me that I've lost both my Mate and best friend in one night and there's also the fact that right now my body is so weak that I am not sure if I'll survive the rejection of my mate but then again if that doesn't kill me my family certainly will.

"Bonnie." I look up to see my best friend standing in front of me just seconds before she pulls me into her and hugs me with all she has. We spend a few minutes in silence before I pull back and look at my best friend taking in every single detail of her beautiful face. "What are you doing here? I'm surprised your mate has let you out of his sight?" She lets out a small laugh as she turns and points down the hallway where her mate is leaning against the wall staring down at his phone which has me laughing too. "I was worried about you. There was no way that I could wait until the morning to make sure that you were ok, and he wouldn't let me come alone so there he is." There have been many times in my life when I have thanked the Moon Goddess for bringing Lilly into my life and this is one of them.

"Lilly, I'm fine, honey. I'm going to head up to my room to sleep, which is what you should already be doing..." Before I even finish speaking she bursts out laughing and I already know where her mind has gone and it isn't on sleeping. As soon as we finish laughing a somber look covers her face as she leans into me and starts whispering "Will you be ok going to your room? I give her the best reassuring smile that I can all while dread and fear settle heavily on my stomach. "Of course, you know how it is here." She instantly understands my meaning but she still doesn't look happy.

"We need to work out what we're going to do next, Bon."

"What are you talking about?"

"We need to figure out where we go from here now that the plan didn't work.

"There isn't a new plan to make, not for us anyway.

"What do you mean?"

"Things have changed now Lilly. You have your mate." She takes her hand in mine with the saddest look on her face and I hate it, she goes to talk but I stop her.

"I know the plan we had and I know that it didn't work but none of that matters now, you have found your mate Lil and as far as I can see, he doesn't plan on rejecting you. Am I wrong?" She shakes her head as her cheeks go a little pink. "No. He's already told me that he wants me as his mate... that he wants me to stay here with him tomorrow."

"And am I right in guessing that you want the same?" This time she nods and I swear her cheeks get even pinker. "I do, Bonnie but I jus-" I shake my head stopping her from saying any more. "There's no buts, Lil. That you two have found each other is amazing. I'm so happy for you!" I watch as Lily battles with feeling happy... probably the most that she has ever felt, but at the same time sad because she thinks that she's letting me down. "Don't do that, Lil. I know what you are thinking but you are wrong, you haven't let me down. You never could."

"Why don't you tell him, Bon? Even if you're not going to be mates, I'm sure he would still want to help you."

"You know I can't, Bon. I wish I could but I can't for so many reasons. But it's ok, everything always works out just as it should.

"We could talk to Shane..." I shake my head trying my best to keep a positive smile on my face.

"I wish I could change your mind, but I know I can't. But if you ever change you're mind I'll be here waiting." I wish things could be different but they can't. They never will.

"But what will you do now?" Her mate must sense her upset as he suddenly appears at her side. He doesn't say a word to either of us just holds her hand helping to try and calm her and it makes me smile. He cares about her so much already and it's heartwarming to see. "I'm not sure yet, but I'll be ok, Lil. I'll think of a new plan. Now, you need to get some rest. We have the breakfast to be at in a few hours."

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" I love this girl so much. "Don't you dare? You have a newfound mate and I'm pretty sure that he's more than eager to be with you tonight, and can you imagine how his wolf would react." We both laugh while a chuckle rumbles from Beta Shane. "Sweetheart, if you would like to spend the night with Bonnie both Lockie and I will be fine." We all know it will be torture for him but the fact that he's still willing to do it just shows what kind of man he is. My thoughts briefly wander to my mate but I push them aside before I can let them fester. It won't do me any good.

"Lilly I will be fine. Please go and spend some time with your mate. We can meet up in the morning for breakfast before I leave yeah?" She smiles nodding then leans in to hug me. "Ok, sure. But if you need me just call, I'll keep my cell on." After a few more minutes of chatter, we go our separate ways and I head for my floor of the pack house while praying with all I have that everyone is sleeping because I have no idea how I will explain where I have been otherwise.

As I open the door to our room I let out a breath of relief when I'm met with silence. That is until I quickly close the door and turn around to replace my sister standing in front of me with a pleased evil smirk covering her face. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? Where have you been all night?" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck...

I had thought that being here was going to be a haven from beatings then I was seriously mistaken. After I got back to the room it didn't take long for me to discover that my sister was alone there. Both my dad and brother had left the ball with She-wolves so that only left my sister here tonight, and while my dad and brother won't hurt me too much while I'm here, my sister made it clear that she didn't give a fuck about where we are.

Once she's decided that I've been beaten enough she walks out of the room leaving me in a bloody heap on the floor. I'm struggling to breathe and my sight's starting to fade as darkness tries to take over. "Bonnie. You need to get up before she comes back." Lexi begs. I want to listen to her I do, but I can't move. I think my sister may have done a good job this time. "I can't Lexi. It's too much this time. I'm tired of fighting the pain. I'm tired of getting up just to have it happen again."

As the darkness gets worse, I start to wonder if there's any point in me even fighting anymore. What will I be fighting for? To go home and just get beaten again? To live my life as a slave and human punchbag? The plan failed, we should have been on our way to our new life now but we're not. I'm beyond happy for Lilly and Beta Shane and knowing that she's going to be taken care of makes it a lot easier to want to just let go and give up the fight for survival. "Bonnie, hand over control to me. I'll look after you while you heal. I'll get us away from here. Please, let me do this!" Her voice slams into me and drags me out of my pity party. I may not have Lily anymore but I still have Lexi. She has stood by my side every day since my 18th birthday even when she didn't have to. How can I give up on her? Giving control to her now won't work so I use every ounce of strength that I can muster and drag myself off the floor. I need to get outside of the Packhouse before she takes over. I'm not sure how long it took me to get outside but it was the most painful walk of my life and I'm still not sure how I didn't pass out. The moment we step outside I hand over control to Bonnie and sit back and watch as she runs for the forest and away from everything that we know. I'm not sure how long I'm going to survive but I trust Lexi. She won't let me down.