Alpha Nicholas
Chapter 25 –

Bonnie

"Are you ready to talk now, Bonnie?" Nope, not at all, but here goes nothing I guess. "Yes." There is a lot I want to say, a lot I need to know, but I'm not going to go first. He hasn't been very kind to me so far and the least he can do is go first and maybe explain to me why he doesn't want me. "I know we have a lot to talk about, but first I just want to clear something up. You mentioned earlier about me having women in my life, and I was wondering what you meant?"

"Just what I said. I know you have a woman, but again, as long as she makes you happy, then I'm happy for you." I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to say. Yes, the thought of him with someone else hurts like hell, but that's his choice, and I'm not going to try and force him into something he doesn't want, namely a relationship with me. He looks confused as he stares at me. "I don't know where you got that from, but I assure you, I don't have women in my life, not in the relationship sense anyway."

"I saw you at the ball with that girl, you were hugging her when she was upset and comforting her, and then just before I woke up I heard a woman tell you that she loved you, and you said it back. I may be young, but please don't treat me like an idiot!" I'm getting pissed again. It's obvious that there is quite an age gap between us, but that doesn't mean he can treat me like some dumb kid. I haven't gotten to be a kid in a very long time, come to think of it. I'm not sure if I ever did get to be a kid. I've always had responsibilities put on me and always had to act older than I am.

"Bonnie, I assure you that I have no intentions of treating you like an idiot. This woman at the ball, was it the one who got rejected by her mate?" I nod as I shift myself, trying to get comfortable. "Yes, that is the woman," I swear I see him smirk, but I can't figure out why. Nothing about this situation amuses me in the slightest. "That woman is called Sophie. She's 21, and she was best friends with my sister. She is like a sister to me. Yes, I was comforting her, but it was purely in a brother's role and nothing else." Oh well now, I do feel like an idiot. "Oh... Wait, you said she was your sister's best friend? Do they no longer speak? On second thoughts, ignore that question. It was personal and none of my business." He gives me a smile that seems genuine, and I feel a tug in my heart. Every second around him makes this whole situation so much harder. "No, it's OK, I'll answer. You can ask me anything, Bonnie. So, as I said, Sophie was my sister's best friend. My sister, Angelina, was the sweetest girl and the only sister to four older brothers, so you can imagine how over-protected she was and spoiled too. Still, she never acted it and would do anything for anyone, which is why we gave her the nickname Angel." He laughs a little, making me smile but inside I feel so sad for him. "Anyway, when they were 13 they crossed the borders with a few friends unprotected, even when they knew they weren't supposed to, and were attacked by a Rogue. The Rogue was three times their size and despite there being several of them and only one of him, they still didn't stand a chance. Three of the four girls died that day and while Angel didn't make it, Sophie did, but she was left permanently scared from the bottom of her left eye down to her chin and I know life has been hard for her since that day." "I can't even imagine what she went through, that poor girl." I feel my eyes well up, but I do all I can to hold back the tears. This isn't my story and I have no reason to get upset. "It's been hard for her and from the moment it happened my brothers and I have tried our hardest to look out for her. We've probably driven her crazy more than once, but it's tough. She and Lottie have become incredibly close over the last 3 years or so, and I'm glad for that. If it wasn't enough that Sophie lost her best friends and was permanently scared, she has also lost both her parents since then, and it just made us even more protective, and it makes me happy to know that she has Lottie around."

The look on his face the moment he mentioned the name Lottie has me instantly on edge. The look is of deep love, deeper than any friendship, and he has already told me that Angel is the only sister in his family, so who is this Lottie? I know he said that he didn't have a woman, but I'm not so sure. "You can get that thought out of your head right now!" His growl has me sitting up straight in seconds and giving him my full attention. "I can see where your mind just went, and you're wrong... so wrong."

"And where did my mind go?" Surely he couldn't have figured it out so quickly. "You think something is going on between Lottie and me, and before you try to deny it, remember I'll know if you lie." I don't say anything but that's enough for him to see that he's got me hock line and sinker. "Lottie.... Lottie is not my woman. Lottie is my daughter." What the fuck? "Well, I'll be honest, that's not the answer that I was expecting."

He laughs, and I'm glad that he's not mad at me. "How old is she?" He gets a strange look on his face which I can't quite figure out, surely that's not a bad question, right? "She's almost 16." Ok... "Wait, she's almost 16. How old are you?" He takes a deep breath and, for some reason, I feel nervous. "I'm 28."

"Your 28? Wait so that means that you were... 13 when she was born?" He doesn't say anything and I quickly realize that my tone could have made me sound mean just now. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound horrible then, I'm not judging or anything, I guess that I'm just shocked."He nods appearing to fully understand how I feel, and I know that none of this is any of my business but a part of me still wants to know more.

"I was, but it's not your usual story." The pain in his eyes kills me and I already know that there's heartbreak in that story. He was 13 years old when his daughter was born... goddess, I don't even know how to process that. "Will you tell me? I understand if you don't want to but... I... just. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that. I have no right to know your business."

"Bonnie, you are my mate. Of course, you have a right." Sadness washes over me as I say my next words. "Maybe I'm your mate now, but I won't be soon. Our situation isn't quite normal, so no, I don't have any right to know, not really." I feel my emotions start to get out of control and I don't know how to handle them. On the one hand, I feel so much sadness that my heart aches, and I just want to be left alone to cry, but on the other hand, I'm angry, angry at him for making comments about me being his mate and having these rights when he's just going to reject me. Alpha Nicholas

While I've been sitting here talking to Bonnie, I feel like a bolt of lightning has hit me hard in the chest. Somewhere in between our pretty intense talk, I felt a sense of calm come over me, something I hadn't felt in a while and, for the first time in a long, long time, my head and my heart seemed to want the same thing and that's our mate. I'm not sure how it happened but it has. I still have all the fears that I told my dad about clawing away at my chest, and I know that there's a massive chance that my mate will reject me after how I have behaved, but I also know that I am going to give it everything that I have. One way or another, I'm going to have her as my mate and by my side as my Luna. I just have to figure out a way to make her forgive my twatish ass first. "Fuck, Bon. There's so much I want to say, so much I need to tell you, but my mind feels like it's in the middle of a tornado right now, and I'm not sure where to start. I... just... I" I'm stuttering like a teenage boy facing his high school crush, but the reality is that I have so much that I want to say that I'm not sure where to even start. "It's ok, Alpha. Just take a moment." My mate gives me the softest smile that I have ever seen, and it makes my heart pound. "Nicholas. Please, call me Nicholas or Nicky or Nic. Either of those is fine, but you don't need to call me Alpha."

"Take a moment to gather your thoughts, Nicky. There's no rush." This woman truly is something else. How can she be so nice to me when I've been nothing but a dick? How can she even stand to be in the same room as me or have any compassion for me when I haven't had any for her?

"I've been a fucking fool!" The words leave my mouth before I can stop them, but I don't regret them.

"What do you mean?" Oh, the innocence of this girl is going to be the death of me, that and well, just about everything about her.

"I've been an idiot, and I've treated you like shit, and it's not ok!"

"You haven't treated me badly, Nicky. If anything, you have been honest with me from the very beginning and I appreciate that. I meant what I said. I understand that sometimes a wolf doesn't want his mate and I understand that you don't want me, and it's okay. I just want you to be happy." "But I do want you as my mate." Again the words leave me before I can stop them, but again I don't regret them. If anything, I mean them more than anything. A gasp leaves her mouth as she stares at me for several seconds. "You want me as your mate?" "Yes, yes I do."