Alpha Nicholas
Chapter 26 –

Bonnie

"I don't understand." He's just thrown a major curve ball at me and I have so many things I want to say but at the same time, I feel speechless. "I thought you... you didn't want me as your mate?" He runs his hand through his hair before letting out a long sigh. "It was never that I didn't want you as my mate. It was never personal to you, I just didn't want a mate full stop. Well, I wouldn't allow myself to. It's all so complicated." He lets out a huff of frustration seeming to match the frustration that I feel inside of me. "It's complicated how? I don't understand?" He has to explain this because there's no way I can figure it out alone. "Do you remember how I said that Lottie's arrival was not your usual story?" I nod. "Well, her arrival and my whole complicated mate situation is kind of an all-in-one thing." I understand what he's trying to say... I think. "I know you want to know the story and I will tell you but to tell you about that... Well, not many people know about it, only the ones that were involved and my close family, and what I will tell you is something that I prefer to keep on the down low so when I tell you, it's going to be with me hoping that I can trust you to keep it to yourself."

Goddess this story of his, whatever it is that he has lived through must be intense, and I'm kind of nervous actually to replace out what it is now. "I'll be putting a lot of trust in you, Bonnie. The kind of trust that I haven't put into many people and while I know it's my choice to do that, I was hoping that maybe before I tell you, you would put some of your trust in me first."

"What do you mean? How would I do that?" He shifts looking uncomfortable and I swear I see his jaw clench. "You could start by telling me where you got those bruises from and not just the fresh ones but the older ones that are still healing?" I'm not sure what I was expecting him to say but the thought of telling him everything terrifies me. Once I tell him the truth he's going to know how weak and pathetic I am. Then again, he's seeing me pretty weak now and until a few minutes ago he didn't even want me so what does it matter? Why am I worrying about the opinion of a man who will more than likely not want me again once he knows all of me?

"So I have to tell you about my secret so that you can tell me about yours?" My tone is clipped and while I don't mean to sound so blunt, I can't help it. "No, not at all. Hell, if I'm being honest, I'm going to tell you regardless of whether you tell me or not, but it's killing both my wolf and me not knowing how you got hurt and I just wonder if knowing will help to calm us down. You don't have to tell me anything, I'll still tell you my story and while I hope that you will keep it to yourself I already know that there's a chance that you will tell the world and that's something that I'm just going to have to deal with."

He's got a fair point. While I don't know the contents of his story yet, it's clear that it is something big and extremely hard for him to talk about and he doesn't know me at all so for all he knows I could go and tell the whole world his secret but luckily for him, I wouldn't ever do that, regardless of the outcome of our relationship, mated or rejected, whatever he tells me will stay solely with me unless he says otherwise. I give him a nod as I sit up a little more then sip my water. He probably knows that I'm just trying to buy myself a few more seconds before spilling my secret but he doesn't try to rush me, he just sits still watching me and waiting for me to start talking. Here we go I suppose.

"I'm not sure what you want to know so, I'll just start at the beginning. I think it will make things easier to explain." He nods giving me a gentle encouraging smile which I return all while I feel my heart pound in my chest from how nervous I am. "I'm not sure if you know much about my family members but there's my dad, Peter who is the Beta of our pack, then there's my older brother Rowan, and lastly my twin sister Blue." I've only just started talking and already he looks pissed. Did something happen while I was unconscious? "I have met both your father and sister. I didn't meet your brother, he left the day after the ball as planned, said he had things that required his attention."

"What happened?" He shakes his head but I cross my arms over my chest and give him what I can only hope is a stern look. He meets my stern look with a smirk which almost pisses me off but then he starts talking. "I like that little fireball that you have inside of you, Bonnie. I'm thinking that you don't let it out too often but when you do... yeah I like it. As for your family, I've not spoken to your dad but he has barely been here since I brought you in which doesn't sit well with me as for your sister... I'm not sure what your relationship is like with her but I do not like her and I don't trust her. I'm sorry if that offends or upsets you but it's the truth."

"I know my family more than anyone, believe me when I say that I'm not upset or offended by what you say." He shifts a little in his seat looking uncomfortable only I don't think it is because of our conversation. "Why do you sit on the bed? Hospital chairs are the worst to sit in and you have been here a few hours already."

"Days." Huh? "What's days?" He laughs a little before shifting again. "I've been here days, not hours. You have been here for 2 days." What is he trying to say... "Wait, are you saying that you've been in here the whole time that I have?"

"Yes. The only time I have left this room was when you kicked my ass out earlier." He lets out a deep chuckle that somehow warms my insides and then I want to cry with happiness when I feel Lexi stirring. "Lexi, are you there?" She yawns the longest yawn I have ever heard and then starts prancing around in my head. "It's me, baby girl. I'm sorry I was gone so long, I just needed to rest." Why is she apologizing? "Lexi, you kept me safe and alive when I couldn't do it myself, you have nothing to be sorry for, I'm just glad that you are back." I can feel her love and goddess have I've missed it. "Mate is here!" I go to answer her but there's no point because she's already rolling around in my head while purring. Does she know that our mate wants us now? She must know because she wasn't acting like this before.

Laughing brings my attention back to Nicky who looks nothing but amused as he stares at me. "Sorry, Lexi... my wolf well, she hasn't been around since I woke up but she's just come back and I got distracted talking to her. I'm sorry I was rude. I'm so so sorry!" As much as I don't want to I replace myself lowering my head in submission. I know better than to zone out on someone talking to me and here I am doing it to an Alpha.

I feel tingles on my hand that quickly travel up my arm causing my head to shoot up to see what's going on and that's when I replace my mate sitting on my bed right beside me while he holds both my hands in one of his. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Bonnie. I'm glad that your wolf is back. Storm, my wolf just told me that they had been speaking for a few minutes before she came back to you and she knows that we want you both as our mates. Well, to tell the truth, he has always been against my decision not to take my mate, and even more so after meeting you both." I smile at his answer but also his honesty. I know things have been all over the place with us since we met but so far it seems that he has at least always been truthful to me.

"I have a feeling that I know what you're about to tell me still, I would like to hear it from you." I nod as he pulls away from my hand and goes to get off my bed but I shake my head. "Please stay on here. I don't like you being uncomfortable." He seems torn but then so am I. I mean it when I say that I don't want him uncomfortable, but at the same time having him so close makes my heart pound so much that it's almost painful.

Over the next 30 minutes, I proceeded to tell him everything about my life, about all of the different types of mental and physical abuse that I receive. I tell him about my mother's death and all about the plan Lily and I had to run the night his warriors caught us. By the time I'm finished, I'm mentally drained but also feel strangely lifted, as if some of the pressure of my life has been lifted from my shoulders but I don't know why. I have always told Lily everything but I've never felt this free kind of feeling before so why now? Throughout my talking, Nicky snarled and growled countless times unhappy with what he was hearing and now it's been almost 2 whole minutes since I stopped talking yet, he still hasn't said a word. "Are you ok, Nicky?" Somehow my voice seems to drag him back to the present but the look of anger on his face is terrifying and for the first time since I met him I replace myself shrinking back from him. "No, Bonnie. Please don't do that."