Alpha Nicholas
Chapter 34 –

Alpha Nicholas

After a quick link to Shane letting him know I'm going for a run I take off for the forest without a backward glance. He tries to insist on coming but I quickly dismiss it. I only linked him as he is my Beta and is in charge when I'm not around. I appreciate his offer but I need some time alone.

I let Storm lose and he runs with all he has. I can feel the anger rolling off him as he storms through the forest and as I feel the wind whip past us as he runs through the trees and the ground crunch beneath his paws I feel him slowly start to calm down and so do I. Reliving everything to Bonnie was so fucking hard. Yes, I've spoken about it over the years, more so the first few years after it happened but even then I've never given as much detail as I did to Bonnie. Still, she deserved to know as much as possible. She was so incredible the whole time but I could sense her pulling away towards the end and I know why. She thinks that I'm still holding back something. She thinks there's more to the story, more to my reasons behind not wanting a mate, and she is right, there is something else that I'm hiding from her, something I've hidden from everyone. Well, everyone except for Tony, he knows about it because it affects him too but we swore to never tell anyone else. Of course... she also knows but she's not here and she doesn't matter. What happened... when we first found out about it none of us believed it so we decided to keep it a secret because it was complete nonsense and just seemed so impossible, but then it became a reality and blew both of our worlds apart. Tony suffered more than me but to think that my time could come scares the fuck out of me. Alpha or not, I'm still a wolf, and while most things don't scare me, this does in fact, it fucking terrifies me.

It's also the main reason for keeping away from Bonnie. When I first met her I felt like a sitting duck just waiting for the worst to happen and then when we found her in the words... Well, I thought my worst nightmare had come true but she's still here, still fighting strong but I'm still terrified. Yes, I want to keep her and I will but I need to figure out some things first, and more than anything I need to tell her. I don't want to build a relationship based on lies but I don't want to scare her either or worse have her leave me. Fuck, this is so hard!

The more I thought about it the angrier I would become so after my pity party for one I sat back, switched off my brain and just let Storm have control. I will figure things out but for now, I just need a moment, a moment to picture my mate's beautiful smile and face, let it all sock into my brain because soon all I could have of her beautiful face and smile is just memories and that thoughts make my heart crack in two...

"So still none the wiser as to why Theo is acting up then?" While I was enjoying my second run of the day I came across Will sitting out by the lake, the same lake that we had been to earlier today, only this time he was alone. After a quick chat, he decided to join me and we ran for what felt like hours but really wasn't. I want to calm myself down but I also don't want to leave my mate alone for too long.

He lets out a loud sigh as he runs his hand through his hair "Nope! But it's driving me fucking crazy. Why won't he tell me what's going on? I usually can't shut the twat up, he's forever spilling endless crap that I don't need to hear but the one time I need him to talk to me his lips are more sealed than a nuns..." I stop his rambling because quite frankly I don't need to hear the next word out of his mouth.

"I don't know, brother. I wish I did. Our wolves aren't usually secretive, not unless..." Could it be? His head springs up while his wide eyes will me to talk. Fuck, he looks so desperate right now "Unless what? What are you thinking, Nick?"

"Well, the only time our wolves are usually known to be quiet is if we have met our mate but we just don't know it yet." His eyes widen so much it's almost comical. "Fuck! Your right! But I haven't met her... or have I and I just can't know yet for some reason? But why wouldn't I be able to know? I'm old enough."

"Unless she isn't. Have you met any younger wolves since the ball that you can think of?" He shakes his head but I give him a moment to keep thinking. "No, I haven't. There were no younger she-wolves at the ball obviously and I haven't met any since then either, I know I haven't. Besides, even if I had met my mate and she was underage wouldn't I still know even if she didn't"

He's right he would. The only way he wouldn't know is if she was there and Theo had picked up on her scent but somehow Will hadn't realized "Storm, any ideas?" It's worth asking right?" "No. I've asked Theo myself what's going on but he just said he couldn't tell me. I can't think of anything else"

"I just asked Storm if he has any ideas but he doesn't either sorry, brother." He shrugs looking lost and I imagine he's feeling it too, and then swiftly changes the conversation asking me about Bonnie, and of course, I end up telling him everything that happened. Once we make it back to the tree line I swiftly get dressed and start heading for the hospital. I was out running a lot longer than I had planned and I need to get back to my mate, only the moment I see Tony running through the door to the main entrance I instantly know something is wrong. He sees me heading his way and the look in his eyes alone makes my blood run cold.

"What's happened?" I shout as I start running towards him. "Bonnie... She gone!" Excuse the fuck? "Say that again?" He looks guilty while I work to try and keep my cool, at least until I know all the facts. "I don't know what happened. I haven't left her door since I got here but a few minutes ago doc went in to check on her and came running out saying that she had gone. I was just coming out here to see if I could replace her when you arrived. I've already got several guards searching for her and your brothers are on their way here. Well, all of them except for Will, I couldn't get through to him, I think he's turned his link off."

I listen to him talk and take in the words but I struggle to say anything. I'm so full of anger and fear that I feel like I'm about to explored. "How the fuck did she get out of there if she didn't pass you?" Underneath I know that this isn't Tony's fault but right now I want to blame someone, anyone and he's the only person here. "I trusted you to guard her and you've fucking lost her!" I bellow, my Alpha tone coming to the surface.

"Calm yourself down twat bag. Shouting at him isn't going to help the situation, is it? You know he wouldn't ever do anything like that intentionally." Will grunts as he walks towards us. He's right and it just makes me want to throat punch him. "Fuck, yeah ok. I know you're right." I turn to face a worried-looking Tony. "I'm sorry, man. I just... fuck!" He walks towards me and slaps his hand on my shoulder "Don't sweat it, brother. I get it." He does, he really fucking does!

"She went out the window!" Robbie shouts as he appears out of the front doors to the hospital with a tired-looking Shane running behind him. "How do you know?" I shout even though they are only a few feet away from me. "One of the guards just linked me to tell me she saw her do it. She didn't think much about it at the time until she heard that we were looking for a she-wolf that had somehow managed to leave a hospital room that was guarded by two wolves."

"A guard... someone who is meant to help protect this pack and the lands saw a wolf jumping out of a hospital window and didn't think anything of it? Didn't replace it suspicious? What the fuck is wrong with her? Find out who it was, I will be talking to her! If my guards are behaving and thinking like that then Goddess help us all if we get attacked. Fuck, next she'll be inviting Rogues over for fucking tea parties!" I growl. Of course, Shane being Shane replaces the funny side to my words despite the situation, and as usual, Robbie soon follows him. Before I can scold them they both cover their laughs with coughs and stand a little straighter. Wise move!

"Ok, let's replace your girl."