Alpha Zander
Chapter 41

I waited for him that night, I’ve waited for him the last few nights, and I still haven’t heard anything from him.

I can feel him being close through Kia, she fuming that he won’t come to us. He lurks in the woods, somewhere out there. instead of being close to us. At least he keeps a close distance so he knows neither of us will become weak from not seeing each other.

I’m confused and hurt. I feel used and cheap like he’s just got what he wanted and run. I’ve tried to do what mum suggested and work things out. Every night for the last few nights, I have been waiting at our place. I’ve only sent him one message. I don’t think he needs more from me until he makes the next move. I won’t search for him because he needs to come to me and sort this out. It is his mess. He needs to take responsibility.

Part of me understands why he is confused, but at the same time, I am annoyed he won’t talk to me about anything. He won’t let me help him.

I told my parents I wasn’t going to school the next few days. so I have just been training with the pack warriors and studying most of the day. Unfortunately. it’s the evenings when Kia gets weaker. I know I have to go back to our place and have some connection to him so I won’t be completely useless.

I can last a few days without being around him for the time being because we haven’t marked each other, but Kia still gets weak because she and Jace have mated and accepted each other. They are just waiting for Zander and me to accept each other and compete in the bond. I didn’t want to put that strain on her, as much as I was hurt by his actions. I knew I needed to do this to keep stronger.

Kia hasn’t said much to me since the party. I think she is mad and frustrated, and considering we haven’t told anyone we are mates, she is replaceing it hard not to speak to her elders. She has blocked her feelings from me for now. I feel them when she can’t hold her wall up anymore, which is usually in the evenings, and I know when I need to go to the cottage.

It hurts that he quickly jumped into helping Grace or doing whatever he needed to do but forgot about me in the process.

After all of our progress, I at least thought he trusted me enough to be ok to speak to me instead of ignoring me. So here I am on another evening, sitting in the sun seat of the main bedroom, waiting for him again. Tonight feels different, his pull usually is a light tug, making me want to go to him every time, but I have been strong, I have been firm, I know, he knows I’m here waiting for him. I sit in the window so he can see me. I look out into the woods surrounding the area and see a pair of gold eyes behind one of the trees, staring straight at me, waiting, watching.

My heart breaks as he just stands there, not wanting to be close to me, not wanting to feel my touch or hold me. I stare back at him. I am waiting for him to make a choice. He told me l was his. He gave me the heirloom. He told me I was his Luna.

He needs to choose because I can’t keep on doing this anymore.

I don’t know how much longer I can. I don’t even know if l can reject him.

He doesn’t do anything. He just stands there waiting. After a little while, he drops to the floor and puts his snout on his front paws, stretching out. It made me wonder if Jace was in more control tonight. That’s why he was closer. It still hurt knowing that if that was Jace, he didn’t want to come to me either.

Maybe he is trying to help clear Zander’s mind.

A stray tear rolls down as I watch him sitting there. I debate with myself if I should go to him or not. Part of me screams yes, run to him. Make him see l am trying to help. But my more rational and diplomatic side is saying this is his choice. He needs to decide. I can’t do this for him. I can’t force him to be here with me.

I break eye contact with him as my phone buzzes beside me, startling me. I can feel Kia becoming stronger quicker because we are closer to him tonight. Taking a deep breath, I looked down and saw who it was.

*Mum: hi, huni. I’m just checking in. Do you need me to contact the school tomorrow and the next day not to be there?

*Ashleigh: Hi Mum, yes, please, I might skip for the rest of the week if that is ok.

*Mum: Sure, huni, that is ok. Dad and uncle have a few things they need to do for the other packs, so I’ll ask if you and Oliver can do them instead. Get you introduced to everyone.

*Ashleigh: Sure. Sounds good.

*Mum: will you be home tonight?

*Ashleigh: I’m not sure. I will let you know if l am.

*Mum: ok, huni. Love you. Be safe.

I shut off my phone after the last message mum sends, though. I look back to where Zander was and see he disappeared again. I can still feel him through our bond. He is just not in sight anymore. l, guess the human side won over.

It’s about 2 am by the time l head home. I can feel he is no longer around. I wondered how Jace allowed him to leave us alone, how he has allowed him to not come to us. My mind is so messy with this situation. I wouldn’t even know what to say to him. But at least I am willing to try and work this out. Willing to still be together if he’d just come and talk to me.

As I run through the woods, I can scent him all around. I wondered if it was his way of marking the territory or letting me know he was here. Either way, I was still pissed off at him. If I was to forgive him after all of this, he needed to show me he would never do this again, that he would never choose another over me.

My mind scrambled as I got home and into my bed. I crave his touch. I miss him like crazy, but I know he needs to choose. I have shown him that I still accept our bond, that I am willing.

As my head hits my pillow, my thoughts still ramble on and on. I can feel Kia stir in the back of my mind. She feels stronger than the other nights, most likely because he was closer to us tonight.

I send a prayer to the moon goddess before my tired eyes close, praying that everything will be ok. Praying that soon, I will no longer have this gaping hole in my chest.