I couldn’t sleep. I kept staring into the night. The hurt is unbearable. I just can’t believe Alex could do that. My head knows and accepts it, but my mind and heart still says it’s impossible.

“ Lily, you’re more than this, cheer up girl” Eve said. Obviously she had woken up when she realized I am not beside her. She had decided to stay with me all night. Perhaps she is afraid I’m going to kill myself, and actually the thought had crossed my mind more than once.

“ I’m fine” I forced the sentence Pass the lump in my throat. “No you are not”

“No you are not. Feel free to cry Lily, crying is not a crime”.

And I did just that. Eve urged me while I cried on her shoulder more than I did when we were grandfather died. But while I was crying, a part of me died, The part that was soft, stupid, trusting. it died. And another part rose in me, a part that doesn’t give a damn, strong, badass and a bitch part

Talking about Badass. I dried my tears on Eve’s shirt.

“ What the hell, Do you realize how much I bought this shirt?”

“ Sorry, but the last time I checked, you don’t buy a shirt that was more than $5, so why the fuss?”

How I wish I own a camera. Perhaps I’m still gonna buy one so that I can be able to capture Eve expression like this.

“ Do you just say that?” Eve asked, surprised, Strike that. I mean shocked.

I shrugged as if I don’t care, but deep down I’m also shocked at my bitch turn.

“Yes,” Eve whispered screamed. I guess she didn’t want to wake my parents up. “That’s the Lilian I’ve always expected to see. A bitch that doesn’t care. A savage that no one can hurt without permission”.

“ Thanks, sweetheart. Trust me, he is gonna regret” I said with a smirk and Eve smiling. “But before that, what happened at Alexander’s house?”

“What? What? Oh, what are you talking about?” She stammered. She stammered, Eve never stammer

I stared into her eyes, making our eyes meet. Suddenly I understood what’s in her eyes. Doubt, Uncertainty, curiosity, interest, and finally humor

“Tell me what’s happened”, I demanded, and I mean demanded, not commanded.

“Well, you ended up killing Alex and Cassandra.”

“Please, I don’t want to hear her name. It Disgust Me. And wait…what?” My brain just processed what she said. Did you just say I killed them?

“Obviously”. Shocked ripped through me. I can’t believe I killed someone with my bared hands and Not just someone. Two people.” I am joking”.

“What?”

“ I said obviously I am joking.”

I stared at her with my mouth agape while she was busy looking as innocent as ever.

“ Trust me, you are the one I’m gonna kill for real this time around.” I said while… feeling an unusual wave of anger. I expected Eve to say something silly or burst out laughing. Just anything that only Eve will do in that situation.

But she seems to get more curious. Then she suddenly dragged me to the mirror.

“ Look at the mirror” Eve said.

“Why?”

“Just do so, please”. I had to look into the mirror because Eve there would never say please without a reasonable reason.

Then I saw it. My eyes is light blue. As soon as I finish that thought, fear gripped me and somehow my eye seems to continue to shine brighter.

Suddenly Eve grabbed me, “get a grip on yourself or you will end up killing me for real”

And that snapped me back and I realized that somehow the temperature in the room seems to have dropped and it’s definitely freezing. After I noticed this, the temperature suddenly went back to normal.

“Look at the Mirror Now’, Eve said, but I was afraid, Afraid I will imagine that my eyes is light blue “No, I don’t want to”

“look, Lilian”. Eve said calmly and softly. But I already know that that means she is getting pissed off.

“ OK, whatever”. I looked back at the mirror and my eyes is… Dark blue. Instantly I felt happy, happy that it was really my imagination. So I faced Eve to tell her that it was really an imagination, but I only met her disapproval clearly showed on her face.

“ You think you imagine that? Are you for real? Who the hell imagine stuffs like that? get something into your brain right now, it is real. It is all real. Your eyes, drop and rise in temperature is all caused by you”

“ No, no, no It is not possible”. I kept ranting.

“It is possible and you ... “ Eve was saying, but she suddenly kept quiet. I tried to decipher her expression, but she was looking at something on the ground. I tried to replace what she was looking at, then I saw it. I have claws.

I have never felt fear as much as I did that day before in my life. I slowly looked at my hands and I saw what I fear. I have claws there too.

I looked up and I replace Eve looking at me somehow. She suddenly started to come close to me, but I moved back. She looked disappointed, but I wasn’t paying any attention.

“ I am a monster. I am a monster. Don’t come close to me. I am a monster”. I kept chanting that same sentence while moving backward. At last, my back collided with the wall.

“ Are you stupid? Are you foolish?” Eve was saying while moving towards me, but I was not entirely listening. But I just kept chanting. I am a monster. But what Eve said next made me stop chanting.

“ I guess I have no choice”. Whenever Eve says that, it means she wants to do something that she may or may not later regret.

“What the a…” I didn’t get the chance to finish my sentence before I heard it. Then I felt it. A slap.

Immediately I felt speechless. Eve has only slapped me once, and that was when I believe she did something that she didn’t, and now I got a slap. Why the hell did she slap me?

As if she knew my thoughts, “I guessed that did it”

“That did what?”

“I needed you to stop chanting that you’re a monster and sit down and think this through”

“ So you slapped me just because of that?”

“Just because?” Eve is getting pissed. “Right now I am almost freezing to death because you are scared to death and you are telling me just because? Are you for real?”

“ What do you expect me to say in the first instance?”

Eve looked at me as if she’s seeing me for the first time. “Now I think I’m wishing you to… Maybe should go back to your old ways or something. But whatever, just sit down and let’s talk about it.”

*Whatever.”

…………..

I stood in front of our school compound with Eve. We looked at each other in perfect understanding and we entered Venassar High School compound.

As expected, instead of the usual drooling, shouting, screaming and look of jealousy and envy, it was a dead silence and look of awe, curiosity and fear though some expression showed respect instead of fear.

And I can understand why. Today is the first day since grade two that Alexander is not by our side which caused the curiosity. Today is also the first day I start to wear my personal badass wears, a white crop top with white terracotta and white sneakers. And for the first time I didn’t pack or braid my hair, So everyone saw my hair real length for the first time and this caused awe.

And for the first time I am walking with my head up with confidence with the type of smirk a killer will give before killing which causes fear/respect

But immediately after 30 seconds Of dead silence, they started to murmur, somethings like…

“Where is Alexander?”

“Why is Lily wearing a badass outfit.”

“ She looks cute in that outfit.”

“ Lily and Eve will forever be my role model.”

“ I wish I was that pretty”.

“ Do they have a fight with Alexander?”

“ Is Alexander alright?”

“ SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY GONNA HAPPEN TODAY”

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