Bullied Mate Of The Lycan Kings
Chapter 164

Zac's pov

The award for the shiftiest mate in history had to go to me.

Because even though I knew that the logical thing was to stay and speak to Lily like she wanted to, the truth was that I couldn't. I couldn't and I didn't even know how to explain that to her.

My chest felt like it was on fire when I saw the heartbreak written all over her face as I turned away from her and rushed out of the kitchen like I couldn't wait to be far away from her.

Thoped with everything in me that she would be able to replace it in her heart to forgive me for being an a s shole and more but I couldn't in that moment bear to look at her face without remembering the terror in her eyes as I had clawed at her like a hungry beast. Callista was dead. I should be at peace now that everything is over and most of the bad guys are dead, especially Callista who was the architect of my nightmares, but instead of having dreams about her, they were replaced by nightmares that showed me killing Lily over and over again in many different ways.

Last night had been the worst. I'd watched as life slowly left her eyes, her body in my arms and her eyes bright with a smile as she reached up to stroke my face, telling me that it was alright, that she still loved me even though my hand was digging deeper into her chest, blood dribbling from her lips as her hand dropped from my face and went limp by her side.

My hand still felt like it was coated with her blood. I had woken up with a start and searched around to make sure that it had been a dream and I was no longer in Callista's control... That I hadn't killed the one thing I loved the most.

Theaved slightly, my heart heaving in my chest as I remembered her words from just now. She'd soon get sick of my bullsh!t and want nothing to do with me. What would I do then? I needed to get my s**t together and not try to throw up every time I see her sweet, beautiful face.

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, I tried to scrub my hands over and over again, unable to get the sight and scent of her blood from my mind. It wasn't real, Lily was hale and hearty, and many more words that I whispered to myself didn't seem to stop me from feeling like a killer and I just wanted this nightmare to end. I'd take Callista visiting me each night over this. I'll take getting tortured and forced to please my sire each night over seeing Lily's understanding eyes as I beat her half to death. Feeling raw from nearly peeling off my hands with the scalding hot water, I headed out of the bathroom to keep my watch and rings in my drawer when I froze, my eyes wide as I saw the most absurd thing that I could never have thought was possible. Ren was here, in the corner of my room, with his hands folded and a glare that was directed at me.

He looked ethereally beautiful as always, but this time, there was something about him that didn't seem like he was real. He looked paler, almost translucent even, like a ghost. Immediately the thought entered my head, I started to feel panic clog up my throat as I asked the one question that I hoped would not give me an affirmative answer.

"Are you dead?" I whispered and Ren, still looking pissed at me, frowned and gave me the finger.

"No, you a*****e," he bit out "I don't know what happened but Lily must have gotten a power surge after bonding with Cade, and it's manifesting in my abilities. It's been going haywire all morning."

"Yeah, I can clearly see that." A thought flashed through my mind, bringing a smile on my lips. "Ghost. That nickname has never felt more fitting." I replied with a chuckle, remembering how at one point in our lives, Ren had been called a ghost by almost everyone because of his pale fair skin and how quiet he was.

Ren rolled his eyes at me, his expression brightening briefly before it dimmed again, and I took off my shirt, heading to pick up my robe.

"What's up with Aiden? And why have I not heard anything about what is going on with the two of you?"

"Everything is silent right now," Ren replied with a grim look that told me I wouldn't be hearing any good news today

My shoulders tensed and I turned to face him. "So you can't get a hold of him?"

"No"

"Is he even alive?" I rushed out, afraid that the answer to that question would be no.

"Of course he is. We are all bonded and most especially, he is bonded to Lily. Even if we don't feel anything, Lily will feel it if something had happened to him," he said reassuringly but it didn't make me feel any lighter.

"What about Victor? How do we know that he has not tampered with the bond? Our powers don't work with rhodium so what if it can also tamper with bonds as well as abilities?"

"He's not dead" Ren bit out, running a hand through his hair

"I would know if something happened to him. I can feel him. I can reach him. I just can't get him to reach back to me. I don't know what's happening but from his lack of response, I bet he is probably unconscious, most likely in a dreamlike coma but not dead. These new powers are allowing me to slip in and out of Night shade undetected but I came to realize that my astral projection only works when I want to reach someone from our bonded group.

Also I cannot stray too far from you or my body because I lose my grip on my powers and return back to my body.

"Why don't we just burst into Night Shade, kill Victor and be done with all this bullsh1t?"

"Because we can't act independently from the council, genius. They're in place for a reason; to stop us from acting arbitrary without them. We need to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that Victor is the enemy and has done something worthy to be punished by death. Or we'll be the ones having to watch our backs."

I cursed. "So what do we do now? What can we do?"

"The council is being quiet. Too quiet," he mused, a dark, pensive look washing over his face, "and we've been shut out, so it's not like I can get any intel until my parents return. I'll let you know when I think of something or hear any news. Now, do you want to talk about what is going on between you and Lily?"

"Stay out of my head, mind reader" I snapped.

"It's kind of hard to do when all your thoughts are practically screaming at me."

He tilted his head, his golden eyes boring into mine. "Don't beat yourself up about what happened with Callista, Zachary. I'm sure that Lily doesn't hold anything against you. She doesn't even think half of these things that you are thinking right now" I wanted to believe that he was right, but surely it wasn't that easy, was it? Lily could have died that day and it would have been because of me. Worse, I knew that she would have died forgiving him even though I didn't deserve it. "You can start by forgiving yourself for what happened and do it fast before you push Lily away for good. I'll be back soon. Take care of yourself. Take care of our mate."

With those parting words, I watched Ren disappear and marveled at how gifted he was as I walked into the shower, but when I closed my eyes, all i could see was Lily's bruised up face, her eyes filled with terror and her clawed up side, with blood dripping to the earth.

No matter how hard I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, I couldn't get over the image of me beating up her fragile little body and how she had fought helplessly against me, how she had trusted me to not hurt her and I had proved her wrong. Over and over and over again. I felt like throwing up. I was so disgusted with myself. I heard the shower doors slip open and shut and before I opened my eyes, I felt all the blood rush to my d**k, the familiar scent filling my nostrils.

I opened my eyes to see Lily standing in front of me, naked.

I let out a strangled gasp,

"w- what are you doing?"I

choked.

"What does it look like?" She asked, taking a hair tie wrapped around her wrist and pushing her hair up.

My throat burned as my eyes flicked to her perfect brasts, her taut abs. Lower. Lower. Fuck!

She paid me no mind as she wrapped her hair into a messy bun and leaned into me. My lungs were on fire and rational thought had escaped me at this point, but her skin only brushed mine as she grabbed the soap behind me and started to lather her body. She was a fvcking tease and she knew that. Her jade green eyes were on mine as she started to rub the soap up and down her body and my throat tightened, my d**k hard likegranite even though she was practically ignoring me. She turned around and started to wash her body under the shower and it was the most sensual thing I had ever seen.

Her small waist, the curve of her hips, F**k, that a s s. With those dimples just above the curve of her a ss.

My eyes felt like they were glued to her, unable to come off and when she turned around to keep the soap back, her thigh grazed my erect sick and I sucked in a breath.

Taking a long look at me, she turned around and started to head out of the shower and I didn't know when I moved but the next minute, she was pressed against the wall, my body moulding into hers. My hands slipped around her hips, squeezed her a ss and I groaned as she rubbed her body against mine. I lifted her legs until they were wrapped around me. Slamming my lips against hers, I kissed her like I would die if I didn't. Te taste of her, the feel of her, jesus f*****g christ.

When I finally let her come up for air, I saw all of the emotions in her eyes that she had been hiding behind her wall of nonchalance.

Hurt swirled in those pale green eyes and my heart clenched in my chest.

"I thought you were ignoring me." She whispered, her lower lip trembling, her voice shaking with hurt and tight with accusation and I hated myself for making her feel this way.

"You sure have been working really hard to let me feel unseen."

My fingers trembled slightly as I cradled her cheeks. "I could never ignore you. You're all I think about." I replied earnestly and kissed her again, groaning into her mouth as she ground her body against me.

"Tell me what to do, Zac. Please. Tell me how to make you look at me with love again." She whispered and I dropped her gently on the floor, cupping her face. For a moment, I can see that nightmare again, her dead, glassy eyes and blood streaming down her cheeks but when I blinked, the image was gone. Her body felt warm to the touch and I steadied my breathing, reminding myself that she was here. That she wasn't dead

Taking one of my hands, she placed it against her chest so that I could feel her heart beating. "I'm here, Zac. I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere. What had happened has happened. You and I are here now and that is all that matters."

"Do you forgive me truly?"

"If the tables were turned, would you hold what happened against me?"

"Never" I replied instantly, vehement need rattling in my chest.

She smiled, her lips parting wide. "Then you have your answer."

She was so beautiful, it was actually insane to believe that she would want someone like me. I was completely captivated by her, her dark green eyes that were no longer looking dead but teeming with life, her rose red lips that looked slightly swollen from kissing me, her rosy warm cheeks that made her look adorable when she smiled.

Unable to stop myself, I kissed her again, my heart pounding hard in my chest that this moment was real.

"Don't shut me out again, promise me." She whispered, her scared green eyes locking into mine.

"I won't. I swear it."

Her smile was the crack of dawn. "Why don't we create new memories? Memories that you can fixate on, so that you can forget all the bad ones."

I grunted as she took my dick in her soft little hands and squeezed,my body tightening with pleasure.

I watched as she slipped down on her knees and when she looked up at me, her eyes hooded with lust and love, I felt precum escape the head of my c**k. She looked like a fvcking goddess and I knew that if she asked me to rip out my heart for her, I would do it in an instant.

I rested both hands against the wall, my toes curling when she licked the tip and groaned when she wrapped her hand around my length and took me in her mouth.

"Fuck, Lily." My voice echoed in the bathroom and I tried to stop myself from going so fast but when she took more of me, my c**k hitting the back of her throat, I lost it.

Grabbing a fistful of her hair, I started thrusting fast and hard, enjoying her soft garbled moans as she took me in, her hands holding the back of my thighs. F**k, I loved her. I loved her so much.

I knew that I wasn't going to last long. Not when it felt this good. A few more hard thrusts and my body was seizing up as I jerked into her mouth, roaring as I started to cum and I watched as she took every drop, licking her lips when she was done, a satisfied smile on her lips. I wanted to be inside her. I wanted to make her scream my name. Helping her up, I held her against the wall and started to kiss her when a loud explosion went off, shaking the entire building