Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)
: Chapter 21

The space station is not what I thought it would be. I was expecting some sci-fi, space-age, star-trek-looking stuff. All shiny chrome and sparkly clean. But it’s more like a mall. Shops, shops, and more shops. And plants. Towering trees, creeping vines, moss, ferns. There is a plant in every available space.

When we were approaching the space station earlier, we got a look at it. Not through a window or anything. Apparently, windows in space aren’t a thing because they compromise the structural integrity of the wall/hull/whatever. Ken projected an image of it on the wall of a security alcove for us. From the outside, it looks pretty cool. There is this big metal rod and then these hula-hoop-looking things that spin around it. There are about a dozen hula hoops and the spinning is what creates their artificial gravity. Hoops aren’t connected to each other in any way. If you need to access more than one, you’ve got to get back on your shuttle and dock at the next one.

Anyway, I was really impressed. It looked super-cool. But then when we got inside it was kind of a letdown. None of these shops are like stores on Earth. Like, there’s usually a counter in front and a sign, and the shopkeeper gets whatever it is you want from the back and brings it out to you. It sucks. How do I know if I want something if I don’t see it first?

I feel let down. But we aren’t actually here to shop anyway. We’re here about our membership with the Trader’s Guild. Mandy and Seven thought it was a given, but apparently not. We were surprised that our membership wasn’t immediately approved because the Trader’s Guild is known for taking anybody. Slavers, war criminals, it doesn’t matter.

They draw the line at humans because they think we’re animals. You know how parrots can talk and some chimps can do sign language and dogs can understand all sorts of commands? These Trader’s Guild big-wigs think that about humans.

All of Mandy’s money-making schemes are put on hold for now because every single one hinges on Trader’s Guild membership. She’s been talking about starting her own guild if this doesn’t work out, but that would be a hassle. That would take time and energy away from tracking down and rescuing all the abducted humans which is her ultimate goal.

Anyway, it’s Ken, Mandy, and I on the space station. We’ve left Lu and Seven on the ship. Seven is staying with the babies because one of them keeps escaping. They are supposed to stay in that tank for months, almost a year, to develop their lungs. But one of them must be very precocious because it keeps leaping out of the tank and trying to leave the room. I’ve met the kids and Mandy has shown me all kinds of videos. They mostly look like Homeworlders with a couple of human features thrown in here and there. And they’re Barbie-doll sized. One out of the four looks very human though, with legs instead of tentacles. They’re the one that keeps escaping. They can’t swim as well as the others, so they have a series of platforms that they hang out on when they need a break. They’ve been using those platforms to leap out of the tank though. And one time they made it all the way out into the hallway where Peach started chasing them. It was awful.

So, anyway, Seven has to stay with the kids. And Lu is keeping an eye on the ship.

When we showed up at the Guild Office though, I wasn’t on the list for the appointment, only Mandy and Ken. Now I’m moping around this boring-ass space station while I wait for them.

My mind keeps wandering back to Lu. Less than three hours ago, I fucked an alien. Not just that. I seduced him, stripped naked, showed him the goods, and begged him to touch me.

What is wrong with me?

I think it’s something about Lu personally that makes me act this way. It has occurred to me that I might just have an alien kink or a tentacle fetish. But I don’t feel drawn to Ken or Seven the way I do to Lu. It’s personal. But does it mean anything? And are there going to be any consequences for my actions?

I just don’t know. I shake these thoughts off and try to focus on my surroundings.

There are so many different kinds of aliens. Most of them look like animal/human hybrids. Like, dog people, cat people, lizard people, bird people, etc. Apparently, all of these aliens share a genetic heritage with humans. There are a couple that obviously don’t though. There is a being that looks like a column of floating chalk dust. I almost bumped into them, but when I got close I felt icy-cold. I changed direction and that’s when I noticed other aliens nodding and talking with the dust column. There’s another alien that looks like a balloon cinched with belts. I guess the air inside is the alien being. Besides those two very alien aliens, all of the rest are obviously related to humans and other Earth creatures.

I can’t read the signs on any of these shops. There are pictures of things like machines, clothes, food, but I just don’t feel confident enough to walk up to a counter and ask an alien about their wares, until I get to the Earth Human Shop.

Unlike the others, this tiny shop has an open layout. There are three counters with human stuff displayed on them. Books, clothes, toiletries. Some of them are obvious forgeries. Like some of the books don’t open, no pages, just a block painted like a book. And there’s a hairbrush with no bristles, just bumps. Useless.

When I walked into the shop, I heard a recording telling me that this was the finest shop with the largest collection of Earth-Human accessories. I’m confused because, from what Mandy said, I thought all of the humans were dispersed and enslaved. How is there a market for human accessories? Especially these ones that make no sense.

I’m walking along trying to figure this place out when I see a Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe disc for PlayStation 3. It’s a scratched-up disc without a case, but oh my gosh, it almost makes me cry. I miss gaming so much. Of course, these aliens don’t understand, and Mandy isn’t any kind of a gamer. I’ve tucked this feeling away and tried to replace new hobbies. But Mortal Kombat! I gingerly pick up the disc like it’s something rare and precious. I want it. I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing, but I’m cradling it against my chest as I try and figure out how to buy it. I realize I don’t have any credits. I’m going to have to leave it here and come back for it when Mandy and Ken are done with their appointment.

I hear a hiss and a growl behind me that translates to, ‘Please do not handle the merchandise.’

I look and it’s one of the lizard-aliens. About seven and a half feet tall with teal scales, a long thick tail, and a muzzle that comes about a foot out of his face, and a mouth full of sharp pointy teeth.

‘By the Chaos That Consumes all Things!’ he exclaims when he sees me.

It takes me a moment to realize it’s an expletive, like ‘oh, my God’ or ‘what the hell.’

Cleary, he’s surprised to see a human in his human shop.

I gather my courage and say, ‘Hi, do you have any more of these?’ I hold up the disc. ‘Or maybe a console to go with it?’

He opens his muzzle to speak, then closes it. Opens it again and says, ‘Yes, I have more of those and a console in the back.’

My heart soars. I might be able to actually play Mortal Kombat!

He’s walking toward the door at the back of the shop. I follow him.

‘Do you have a TV to hook it up to? Controllers?’

He bobs his head. ‘Yes, all of those things. In perfect condition.’

Oh, wow!

‘So they work? Do you have a converter or something to plug them in?’

‘Of course.’

He opens the door and motions that I should go through ahead of him. When I do, I feel a claw comb through my hair next to my ear, snagging on my translation clip and yanking it off.

I whirl around and yell, ‘Hey—’

But it’s too late, he’s closed the door.

I stand there in the dark, mouth agape. I’m such a fucking idiot! How could I have just—

I hear a snick sound and from one moment to the next there’s no air. I can’t breathe. I gape and gasp like a fish out of water, but nothing. I’m dying. For a fucking Mortal Kombat game! I fall over onto the floor, lungs burning, eyes watering.

How long does it take to suffocate? This is absolute burning agony.

I pass out.