Frozen Fire(Mxm)[UNEDITED]
Chapter 19

Ragnor POV

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. Even the sharp pain in my back, did nothing to dampen my mood.

I ran my fingers across his broad chest that I was laying on. I closed my eyes for a few moments , to simply bask in the moment of pure bliss. I felt like I could walk without touching the ground.!!

I felt as though I could know that I would die today and still be content. And it was all because of him. The beautiful man,laying beside me.

I thought back to the events of the previous day. How he held me and looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing. His dragon was waaay rougher than him, but I loved it the same.

I thought about what had transpired between us.. then it dawned upon me..

What were we now...exactly...

I felt him stir a bit in his sleep before he started to panic and jerk. I saw his eyes roll beneath his sockets as his chest began heaving. His breathing became uneven as he started panicking in his sleep.

"No..please..please ..don't leave me" he screamed out in his sleep.

I moved the strands out of his faced and cupped his cheek.

"Shhhh.. it's okay.. I'm here.. you're not alone... not anymore" I whispered in effort to calm him down. He slowly opened his eyes and met with mine.

"You had a nightmare " I said smiling.

He looked away.. out of embarrassment I would presume, I stretched my hand and turned his face, to face me.

"It's okay.. we all have them.. the important thing is.. to know that you don't have to face them alone" I said and kissed his lips softly.

"How do you feel?" He asked when I broke away.

"I'm fine..I do however have sand in some awkward places but.. other than that I'm fine"

"He didn't hurt you did he?" He said with concern lacing his voice.

"He didn't.. it felt amazing " I said as I leaned in to kiss him again when that thought crossed my mind again..

"What are we now?" I asked him.

A look of concern and fear crossed his face when I asked him that. Almost like, he was afraid of something.

"I would have loved for us to be much more than what we are now..However..you are engaged " he said as he took my hands in his and kissed it as he continued speaking...

"You need to be strong.. you need to protect your people.. and for that you need an heir. I can never give you that. I know what I feel for you , I will never feel for anyone else.. but it doesn't change the fact that you have to wed another.. or that we come from kingdoms that are bound to be enemies "

Somehow I felt like he was using this as an excuse to mask what he was really feeling in this moment.

With each word that he said.. I felt as though my heart was slowly being ripped into shreds and squeezed. I couldn't breathe as the tears slowly rolled down my face.

"But I don't love her.. I don't love her like I love you"

I said as I sniffed. I raised the back of my hand to wipe away the tears that were now pouring out of my eyes. I couldn't stop them and neither did I want to.

"I know.. but trust me.. this is what's best" he said as he attempted to pull me closer to his bare chest.

I pushed him away,ignoring the pain in my back, and jolted up. I didn't even care about my current naked state and yelled at him.

"No.. it's what best for you. You talk about my heir and being enemies and such. But the truth is.. you're afraid.. afraid of someone seeing the real you.. afraid because you think that no one will love you" I yelled as I sobbed.

I didn't even know why I was crying so hard. All of the emotions I couldn't feel as a child, came crashing down on me all at once.

Anger..hurt...betrayal...deceit...

I felt them all.

I watched him get up and make his way towards me but I put up my hand in front of him making him stop in his tracks.

"If that is what you want.. I can't make you see otherwise. Let's leave it here, along with everything we have done so far. If we continue now, we should reach the border by tonight." I said as I turned around to leave, a bit too swiftly, because I felt that pain shoot right through my spine making my knees wobble.

I felt him rush to my side to help me up. I pushed him away from me, causing me to fall on my butt.

"I'm fine.. don't touch me..I'm not your toy" I said as I got up.. and as much pain as I was in... it weighed nothing next to the words that he threw at me just moments ago. I wiped away my tears and turned to him and said..

"Don't ever touch me again."

________

The rest of the journey was as quiet as a mouse. Neither of us said anything to each other after that.

My horse followed closely behind his as my thoughts drifted off..

How could I think that he would ever love me.. I was just a game to him.. a way to explore his desires. He never cared about me to begin with.. so why was he even here??

"Why did you choose to bring me here? There must have been a reason" I said. I knew he could hear me , given his inhuman hearing.

"I didn't have a reason. I just wanted to." He said as he kept his eyes on the pathway ahead.

Everytime I thought I knew him, I was pushed ten steps back and was even more confused. What would it take for him to see how much he meant to me.

If space is what he wanted.. I would give it to him. If time is what he needed ...I would give to him..

But if he wanted us to part... I would never let it happen.. never.. he meant to much to me to just let it off. I would fight for him.. till my last breathe..

That... I promise..

"We're here" he said.

I looked ahead and saw the huge palace. A dark cloud covered the entire land, making it look like death had just visited it.

I took a deep breathe and sighed.

This is it....