Chapter 45: Stella

“Sources say that General Blake’s fleet would have been eradicated had it not been for the heroic efforts of the allied race of humanoids called the Jinkor. Due to their contributions, General Blake and what remained of his fleet survived with minor injuries. Log on to your social networks and let us know your opinion on the Jinkor joining the fight. This is Arnold Dreyfus, signing off,”

The news caster finishes as I release the lump that I had been holding in my throat while clutching a pillow in fear. I turn off my television and sit back at my desk to finish up some homework. I lift my pencil and begin to write various technical information in relation to the dashboard of a specific model of fighter plane. I feel a warmth in my eyes though, as tears begin to fill them and drop on to the flawless lines of the paper. I lightly toss my pencil aside, causing it to roll in to my small desk lamp before coming to a stop. I place my hands over my face and sob uncontrollably at the realization of what just happened. I cry in both happiness and sadness. Happy that they’re alive, sad that they almost weren’t.

Being down here on Earth is beginning to tear me apart. I’m tired of sitting in a classroom while everyone I love is out there on the front lines fighting.

It’s just as Lieutenant Colonel Myers said about being here on the first day of our instruction. “You will all be here for nine months. And it’s going to be the hardest nine months you have ever endured mentally. This for two reasons. One, you will be tested to your limits with your training in an accelerated course that’s supposed to take up to three years to learn everything. Two, once the hunger kicks in, you won’t want to be here. And I promise you the hunger for war will take over and a lot of you will opt to be a grunt in the mud to satisfy that hunger. For those of you who stay, congratulations,”

The words echo in my mind as the speech passes from my memory. Though I’ve focused back on my training that hunger has been growing inside me and it’s becoming unbearable.

A knock at my door breaks my thoughts. I wipe any loose tears from my eyes and regain my composure before finally answering the door. As I open the door, I see Richard leaning one hand against the door frame, with his other in his pocket as he looks at me with a grin.

I manage to produce a smile “Hi Richard,” I say to him.

“Hey there fly girl, I’ve come to rescue you,” He responds in an upbeat tone.

I give a puzzled expression.

“Rescue me from what?” I question.

“Yourself of course. You’ve been cooped up in here for the past few days. I’m pulling you out of here for a while,” Richard explains.

Before I’m able to respond, he grabs my hand and pulls me out of my dorm, down the hall, into the main lobby, and out the main doors. He runs down the steps of the dorm and opens a door to one of the trainee issued vehicles used for recreational purposes.

Something about Richard’s enthusiasm always seems to make me smile, which I do as I walk down the steps and seat myself in the vehicle. There’s a strange quality I can’t put my finger on that he has that reminds me so much of Leon.

Richard hurries to the other side of the vehicle and nearly jumps in, looking at me momentarily to give an excited smile before starting the car and driving away. As Richard drives off campus, we’re greeted with a large canopy of oak trees. As fall has begun to set in, multiple shades of red and golden seem oversaturated and bright in the rays of the shining sun beaming through the ever-moving leaves shifting in the wind. I can’t help but smile at the sight. Taking the moment to remember how beautiful the world is. Richard takes a left turn, and then a right and after a few minutes the sky opens up to bright blue. A winding road is ahead of us, leading up to a large hill with a single, lonely tree at the top. I notice Richard give off a small smile as he starts up the hill.

After reaching the top, he quickly exits the vehicle and opens my door for me. I give a smile in thanks, exiting the car myself. I turn and stare out into the open air, the canopy of trees like a sea of color below us. Amongst the trees I can make out the cold gray of the concrete academy within.

Richard stands next to me “Beautiful, isn’t it? I love coming up here. It allows me to just breath. I don’t have to think about anything up here. It’s just me, the sky, and this tree up here,”

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath, sucking in the crisp fall air, letting the sun warm my skin as the cool breeze blows against it.

“Thank you for bringing me up here Richard. I...I think I needed this,”

“We all need to get away for a while sometimes. Let’s face it, as much as we all love flying, that place can feel like a prison,”

I turn around and smile at him in gratitude.

He smiles back. “Well hey, that’s not the only reason I brought you up here,” He says before standing to the side, revealing a blanket laid on the ground, a basket sits on top of it.

He motions an arm towards it “I also thought I might feed you since I dragged you all the way here,”

Smiling again, I walk passed him to the blanket and sit down. He follows, sitting next to the basket and opening it. A pang of insecurity enters my mind though as I watch him rustle through the unknown contents of the basket.

“Why are you doing all of this?” I ask.

He hands me a sandwich as he stares at me with an eyebrow raised, confusion on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why are you doing all of these nice things for me?”

“Why not?”

“Well because...all of this, is a little excessive for two people who have only known each other for a few weeks,”

Richard laughs. “And? I didn’t you know there was a time limit before you can do nice things for people. I like you Stella, that’s all. Besides, you need to have a friend who will do this stuff for you. With your boyfriend out there fighting the good fight and all,”

“It almost sounds like you know how I feel,”

“I do in a way. My dad was off fighting all the time when was I was a kid. Seeing my mom go through that...tore me up inside,” he sighs, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Sometimes I’d hear her up crying at night. Just praying to God for him to come home,”

“Sounds like it was pretty rough,” I say taking a bite of my own sandwich.

“Yeah...,” Richard says leaning back against the large tree we’re sitting under.

“Like I said before, I respect Leon for what he’s doing out there. I mean the SSEALs? That’s just crazy. But, and forgive me if I’m being too bold with this, but I personally think he’s crazy to leave a girl like you here all by yourself. If I were him, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight,” Richard says with an almost intentional wording.

His words frustrate me and I stare at him for a moment before responding.

“Is that what this is? You trying to get me to leave him for you?”

“No no, Stella. That’s not what I meant at all. I just meant that you’re a great girl and he’s lucky to have you is all,” He responds nervously.

I raise an eyebrow in skepticism to him. And then breath a deep sigh before turning my gaze forward staring back out into the open area below.

Richard places a hand lightly on my shoulder.

“Hey,” he says making me look at him

“I’m serious. I would never get between you two. I mean that. Besides, I’d be too afraid he’d come here and rip my head off with his thumb or something with all of that SSEAL training,” He says smiling, trying to lighten the mood.

I scoff at what he says then let out a chuckle as my body begins to relax again. He laughs with me and then returns to leaning against the tree. I do the same.

Richard and I reach a mutual silence as we finish our food, staring out into the horizon line, watching the sun set. The sky turns a in a dazzling real-life painting. With splashes of orange, pink, red, and purple cascading a gradient across the canvas of clouds that had rolled in.

I finally let go and let the frustration and stress of all the training, of Leon needing, no...choosing to be so far away from me, roll out of my mind and off of my shoulders.

I take another deep breath in and out.

“If I’m truly being honest with myself...I hate that Leon chose to be what he did. The distance, I can handle. But the fact that he willingly put himself in front of all of the danger...sometimes makes me feel like he wasn’t thinking of me at all when he made his decision,”

Richard studies me for a moment before responding.

“I know it can feel like that Stella. But from my own experience, my dad always used to tell me that the reason why he’s always out there fighting is not because he wanted the glory of it all. He told me that he did it for my mom and I. That when he finally did come home permanently, it would be without the fear that he could lose it all. So, I think that maybe Leon isn’t doing it out of some sense of wanting to be a hero, but so that he can help make sure the war is ended and he can come home to you without having to pick up a gun again,”

I digest his words, pondering their weight. I look at him with a timid smile.

“You remind me of him in some ways. I think maybe that’s something I need while here. Just a little piece of something that reminds me of him. That reminds me of what’s going to return to me when the time comes,” I place a hand on Richard’s arm.

“I hope that doesn’t make you feel like I’m just using you Richard. Because you really are a good friend,”

I can see him thinking hard as he looks me in the eyes before smiling wide.

“Not at all Stella. I couldn’t believe you’d use someone like that,”

I smile back at him. “Good,” I say removing my hand from his arm and returning to my original position against the tree.

We spend the rest of the time silently watching the dusk turn into night as the sun dips completely below the horizon. I replace that exhaustion starts to overtake me and in an almost natural way, I lay my head against Richard’s shoulder.

What are these strange feelings...?

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