Judas kiss
Chapter 64 - It`s my body, my decision.

Alfredo walked into the room quietly.

"I know you're not asleep Mila." He said softly seating on his side of the bed, for goodness sake it had been two months already. She needed to start eating and being productive. They couldn't live like this forever. They needed to decide what they needed to do. So many times Míla wanted to call Della but she always went against it and ended up switching her phone off and cutting herself off from the world. She was embarrassed by how she had ended their friendship just like that.

"I don't want to keep it." She said in a very very low voice but Alfredo managed to hear through the cracks of her voice. She couldn't even face him as she said this. She felt guilty, embarrassment and anger all at the same time.

"I understand you said you didn't love me and that it was all just lust but.." Alfredo felt broken just remembering how she had let him know her exact feelings when they got into an arguement. "Please keep it.." He almost sounded as if he was pleading. If he said he did not want this child then that would have made him a compulsive liar.

"No... i have made up my mind." Mila said out of words.

"I will pay you whatever amount you want, you can act as a surrogate. Once the baby is born you won't ever have to see them again. I won't bother you, I will leave you alone and i will try my best to forget about you and to stop loving you.. which is highly impossible but for our... i mean my child i will." Alfredo said trying his level best to get Mila to agree. It had been nine weeks already and soon she would start to show. In fact her little bump had developed. The doctor had told them to make their choice as soon as possible before it became all too complicated and hard to do.

"I don't want you to raise our child, Alfredo. Don't you get it? I'm scared for the life i am bringing my child into. The best option would be adoption but i can't.. It's best we terminate it now." She said crying into her pillow. She was tired of crying especially about this situation. She had no idea where she went wrong.. she was always always on the pill. Mila was confused, so many men she had one night stands with nothing ever occured then she sleeps with Alfredo while still on the pill and she gets pregnant. Was this some sort of punishment? She didn't understand any of this.

"It's my body.. my decision." She tried to justify herself but deep down she knew she was wrong and felt so much guilt.

"I don't know why you're making an innocent child suffer because of me. I respect your decision but you hate me that much that you can't think of caring my child?"

It hurt Alfredo so much to think about.

Mila stayed silent.

They both stayed silent.

Mila thought this was a punishment. She had repeatedly told the doctor that she wasn't pregnant and that she had been on the pill all along. She checked the expiry date and it was still okay.. she just didn't understand how come? Of all the men that had to impregnate her, it just had to be Alfredo for the second time and it actually bothered her. Yes, she had fun with him but-

"Please consider keeping the baby, Mila. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart. I know that you hate me for what i did and you will never get over it and no i'm not asking you to just turn a blind eye but.. I promise that once you give birth, you wont even have to look at the child.. you will just walk away and never turn back."

Mila thought about it for a second but her heart instantly felt heavy.

"Why do you want the baby so bad?" She asked wiping away a few tears and still not facing him. She couldn't do it because deep down she knew that she would be lured in by those alluring grey eyes. He would just seep into her heart so easily like water cascading downhill a waterfall. Alfredo did things to her that she could never ever imagine. He made her laugh until she cried, he was literally so sweet with every gesture, he made love to her like it was both their first times but.. She had told herself for so long that she would never forgive them.. anyone who initiated in her deflowering as a gift which was very mediocre. Her love for Alfredo was a lot. She fell for him without knowing his personality, looks or anything except the feel of his skin against hers and his smell. She fell much harder when he turned out to be a gentleman with a caring soft personality unlike what he always portrayed infront of people. For so many years, she felt so disgusted with herself whenever she thought of him and her skin tingled in a good way. She thought she was a lunatic. It wasn't as easy as it seemed.

She had tried so hard to stay away from him after she had found out whom he was. Even when she continuously started sleeping with him. She took all precautions. A child wasn't something she wanted to put into this equation. Her love could easily turn from love to hate real quickly. She had to think about the many times she had girl talk with friends and they would share how they lost their viginity and laughed about it. Mila always thought even if you had lost your viginity at the backseat of your boyfriend's beat up car.. atleast you gave consent. Atleast you wanted it.

Atleast it wasn't just shoved inside you.

"Well this baby would be my only chance of loving again.." Alfredo replied.

For so many years, Mila had avoided this and now she knew what exactly Della meant when she said 'she needed to deal with her past'

She had never accepted it and that is why the truth always hit her harder. She had left her job because Alfredo had told her that she needed time to think about all this and the whole situation. When she hard angryily blurted out that she hated him with every inch of her body and that she had lied when she said she loved him. It was all just so that he would help Della. It was an emotional scene because-

Alfredo kept the ring in his back pocket right where it was in its box.

Unopened.000