Kiss and Don’t Tell
: Chapter 19

“Hey, gorgeous,” I say, as the shower water sprays off my back.

Naked and fresh from bed, Winnie steps into the shower with me and presses her hands to my chest. Her hair is a complete mess. Sometime during the night, she took her braids out, and I ended up driving my fingers through her hair and pulling on it as I fucked her from behind again.

My new favorite position of all time, now.

She has the perfect ass, and all I want to do is stare at it while I drive into her over and over again.

Fuck, and the way she moans when she’s almost ready to come drives me crazy. Don’t even get me started on her pussy. I wasn’t lying when I said it was magic. Whatever Josh was doing, he needs to learn a goddamn lesson about appreciating what he has when he has it. Now that I have Winnie, there’s no way in hell I’m losing her.

She leans in and kisses my chest without saying a word as her fingers play with my chest hair.

I had her three times last night, and it wasn’t enough. And seeing her in the shower with me, drops of water cascading down her naked tits . . . yup, I’m already fucking hard and she knows it. She smirks at me and her hand falls to my cock.

“Jesus, yes,” I mumble as she strokes my length.

“How can you be hard again?”

“How can I not be when you walk into my shower?” I suck in a hiss as she drops to her knees and places her hands on my thighs. “Fuck, or when you’re naked.”

She moves her hands inward, and then she pushes her hair to the side as she presses the flat of her tongue against the underside of my cock.

This is one thing we haven’t done yet and one thing I’m totally interested in. She kept saying she wanted to taste me, she wanted me in her mouth, but I couldn’t allow myself that pleasure when I needed her pussy over and over again. More than that, I wanted to pleasure her. I’m not and never have been a selfish lover, but I wanted Winnie to know how much she deserves to be satisfied during sex. She has to come first, in every way, as far as I’m concerned. So, that’s what I made sure happened.

Seems as though she has different plans right now.

I brace one hand against the tiled wall as she brings her mouth all the way to my tip and then sucks in the rim, and that’s where she stays, twisting, sucking, lapping with her tongue. Her movements are making me as hard as stone, and the way she looks up at me with those mysterious eyes makes me want to come violently in her mouth so I can watch her swallow every last drop of my cum.

“So fucking good,” I mumble as I attempt to thrust my cock farther in her mouth, but she doesn’t let me. Instead, she removes her mouth and snakes her hand between my legs, where she cups my balls and rolls them in her palm.

“Hell . . . ” My head drops forward and I spread my legs wider, giving her more access. Her hand plays with my balls gently, moving back and forth, farther . . . and farther.

My cock bobs as she plays dangerously close to my backside.

I spread my legs even wider, encouraging her.

I’m frustrated when she brings her mouth back to my cock, sucking me in deeper this time, but her hand never releases my balls. Her mouth drives deeper until I hit the back of her throat.

“Yes, baby.”

She opens wider, and takes me deeper still until I’m continuously hitting the back of her throat. She doesn’t gag, she’s doesn’t even flinch, so I thrust inside and she takes me.

I’m a goner.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to—

“Ahh, fu-uck,” I shout as her hand slips to my backside and her finger presses into my tight hole. I slam my fist against the wall as my balls tighten.

She presses the finger in farther and I lose all sense of what the hell is going on. Her finger doesn’t stop until I’m panting, begging, and heaving.

Then, she takes me all the way to the back of her throat again, sucking hard.

She presses her finger in . . .

“Fuck! Fuck me,” I yell as my cock swells and I come in her mouth, down her throat. I come so fucking hard that I have to brace against both walls of the shower so I don’t fall. My cock pulses in her mouth, my cum still spilling as she pulls every last drop from me.

When my cock finally stops, I lean against the wall. She stands up and presses a kiss to my chest, then rinses off quickly and hops out of the shower. Unable to stand, I switch off the water and slowly sink to the floor as I catch my breath, my cock heavy across my leg.

A satisfied smile on my face, I look up at her as she towels off.

“What the ever-loving fuck was that?” I ask.

She smirks. “The best blow job you’ll ever receive.” She winks and then leaves the bathroom, a sway to her hips.

Yup, she’s right. Hands down, the best blow job I’ll ever receive. I think the only person who’ll be able to top that . . . is her.

THE TABLE IS silent as I take a seat with my breakfast plate in hand. I can feel all sets of eyes on me as I scoot in my chair and pick up my fork.

Winnie is packing her things and, uh, taking a moment to herself. Apparently, she needs one after I tossed her up on the bathroom counter and went down on her. I had her lean against the mirror, her legs pulled to her chest again, and I teased and played with her clit until she was thrashing from her climax. I can still hear her moan and taste her arousal on my tongue.

There’s no mistaking we’ve been loud.

And there’s no mistaking that the boys heard us, even on opposite ends of the house. The pounding of my fist on the tile wall alone was evidence enough.

But I choose to ignore their stares as I stab a piece of egg and put it in my mouth.

“You know, I heard this weird sound this morning,” Taters says, breaking the silence.

Yup, here it goes.

“Sort of like . . . a donkey in heat,” he continues.

“Yeah, I heard that too,” Posey adds. “Like a heeeeee-haaaaawww, hehehe-hahaha.”

I did not fucking sound like that.

“You know, I thought it was more like a duck who got his bill stuck in a door.” Hornsby does a horrible impression of a duck while slapping the table.

The boys point at him and nod.

“Yes, that’s more accurate,” Posey says. “The duck is spot-on.”

I glance over at Holmes, who has his head down but a smirk on his face. No doubt he got the brunt of the noise since he’s in the same wing as us.

“I checked the backyard for a duck,” Hornsby continues, “but couldn’t replace anything. Say . . . Lawes, did you happen to hear a duck this morning?”

Keeping my eyes on my plate, I shake my head. “Nope.”

“Funny, because the noises seemed to be coming from your end of the house. Holmes, any ducks in your room?”

“No, but I recall a donkey at one point.”

No, not Holmes, too.

“I remember the time I heard a donkey-duck in the hotel once. Two years ago. Do you guys remember that?” Taters asks.

Hornsby snaps his fingers. “I do remember that. Pounding on the walls. Hotel security was called.” Apparently, I like to pound on walls. Didn’t really know that about myself until now.

“Hey, didn’t that donkey-duck turn out to be”—all their eyes land on me—“our friend Pacey Lawes?” Posey asks.

Knowing this isn’t going to end, I lean back in my chair and say, “I’m not going to talk about it. Winnie deserves more respect than that.”

“Uh-huh,” Hornsby says. “Getting in a goodbye before you leave?”

“I cancelled my flight.”

All kidding flies out the window as the boys focus on me.

“What?” Taters asks. “Doc is expecting you. Why the fuck would you cancel? If you say it’s for the girl, I’m going to murder you.”

“It is for Winnie,” I say and try to continue, but Taters slams his fork on the table.

“You’ve known her for a week. A fucking week. And you’re going to—”

“I’m still going,” I say in a stern tone. “But today Winnie is going to confront an uncle she’s never met, and then she’s driving back home. I wanted to be there for her. Asked her to drive me to Vancouver.”

The tension in the room eases, but only slightly.

“When are you leaving for Vancouver?” Hornsby asks.

“Right after we’re done at her uncle’s.” I fork some eggs and say, “I promise, I’m going to get checked out.”

“When?” Taters asks, still looking pissed.

“Tomorrow. I already set it up with Doc. I have an appointment with him at three tomorrow afternoon.”

“Can we call and ask him?” Posey asks.

“Have at it. Want me to make you my point of contact, as well?”

“That would be appreciated,” Hornsby says. “We’d like copies of all medical records, too.”

“Fine,” I say easily. “Whatever you want to get you off my back.”

The boys exchange glances and Posey says, “I don’t like how agreeable he is to all of this. It’s making me feel uneasy.”

“Me too,” Hornsby agrees. “Do you think it’s because he got some last night?”

“And this morning,” Holmes says before taking a sip of his orange juice.

“I think the orgasms have helped him relax.” Posey speaks more quietly. “Blink twice if the orgasms helped. Blink once if you’re in some sort of sexual trance you don’t know how to get out of.”

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter.

Pointing his finger at me, Hornsby says, “He blinked once.”

I stuff the rest of my eggs in my mouth just as Winnie walks into the main living space. She’s freshly showered, her hair is braided, and she looks fucking hot in a yellow sundress. Silence fills the room as she slows to a stop, noticing all eyes on her.

Immediately, her cheeks turn pink. Fuck, she’s embarrassed.

“So, Pacey told you what happened?” she asks.

“No,” I nearly shout. Shit, I don’t want her thinking she’s part of some classless locker-room talk. “They—”

“He told us jack shit,” Taters says, stepping in. “Said he respects you too much to say a goddamn thing. But we knew from the starry look in his eyes.” Taters pats me on the back and lifts up from his chair. “This boy likes you . . . a lot.” He takes his plate to the kitchen and sets it in the sink. Before walking off to his room, Taters adds, “I expect updates tomorrow.” And then he leaves.

“We also heard Pacey. His orgasm wheeze is unmistakable,” Hornsby says, standing from the table with his plate, as well. “Just glad it wasn’t his hand giving it to him this time.”

Such a dickhead.

He drops his plate in the sink and heads for his room.

“Got some vegan waffles for you,” Stephan says to Winnie, sliding a plate across the island for her.

“Thank you,” she answers shyly. She brings the plate to the table with her, taking a seat next to me. When she sits down, I reach under the table and place my hand on her thigh, letting her know everything is fine.

“You’re headed out today?” Posey asks.

“Yeah. I figured it’s time,” Winnie says while cutting into her waffle.

“Are we going to see you again?”

Winnie looks up, but before she can answer, I squeeze her leg and say, “Yeah, dude. Winnie’s my girl now. You’re going to be seeing a lot of her.”

A surprised look crosses Posey’s face before he says, “Cool. So we’ll see you in Vancouver.”

“Yup,” I answer, hopefully not jumping the gun for her.

“Good,” Posey says. Then he and Holmes clear their places at the table, discarding their breakfast dishes in the sink. They thank Stephan, and before they leave the room, Posey turns back and tells Winnie, “Don’t leave without saying bye.”

Now alone with Winnie, I direct my attention to my plate, but Winnie turns to me, crossing one leg over the other, which knocks my hand from her leg. She props her elbow on the table and leans in.

“That was an interesting conversation.”

“How so?” I ask, acting casual.

“You told them they would see me in Vancouver.”

“Was that inaccurate information?” I ask her, finishing my bacon.

“Who says I’ll be in Vancouver by the time they come back?”

“If I have anything to do with it, you will be.” I lower my voice and say, “And after I just ate that delicious cunt of yours, I’d assume you’d want the same thing.”

Her eyes widen as she looks over her shoulder. Stephan is now wearing earbuds, listening to music and cleaning the kitchen. “Pacey.”

I chuckle. “He can’t hear a damn thing.” I smooth my hand over her thigh again, and she sucks in a subtle breath as I move my hand north. “And sorry to say, but I’m going to make sure I work my ass off to make you happy, to keep you happy, and to make sure you don’t go anywhere.” I move my hand up to her chin. “You’re mine now, Winnie.” When she doesn’t say anything, I ask, “Does that scare you?”

“A little,” she answers. “I don’t want to disappoint you. I might be shiny and new now, but who knows what I’ll be like two months from now?”

“Still fucking beautiful and taking my breath away, that’s what you will be.” I absolutely hate that Winnie doesn’t see what an amazing woman she is. That she doubts that I’ll still be interested in her. I’m the fucking lucky one that she’s giving me the time of day. How do I help her see that she has this all the wrong way around? I was so scared I’d lost her before I left her room last night. I lean in and press a kiss to her lips. “Trust me when I say I’m invested, and I’ll prove it to you.”

“You’re crazy.” She shakes her head and turns to her waffles.

“Why?” I ask. “Because I know what I want?”

She side-eyes me. “Because I sucked your cock and now you’re sporting heart eyes.”

I throw my head back and laugh before closing the distance between us and kissing her on the cheek. “Babe, I was sporting heart eyes before your delectable mouth sucked my cock, you just didn’t see them yet because you were still guarded. It wasn’t until I nibbled on your clit that you finally lifted the veil and saw what was right in front of you—a man infatuated with you.” I stand from the table and say, “I’m going to finish packing. Are your bags ready to go?”

She blinks a few times and then nods. “Yeah, they’re by my door.”

“I’ll put them in Minnie. Is there anything you need before we leave?”

“I don’t believe so.” Her head tilts to the side as she studies me.

“What?” I ask.

She smiles and tugs on my shirt. “You’re a good guy, Pacey Lawes.”

“Remember that when I do something stupid, which most likely will happen.”

She chuckles. “I’ll plug it away for when that moment comes, because being a woman, I know it will come. Just a matter of time.”

I place a chaste kiss on her lips and take my plate to Stephan, who gives me a nod. I head to my room to finish packing my suitcase. I’m not taking everything I brought with me, just a small bag, and if for some unpredictable reason I don’t come back to the cabin, I’ll have the boys pack up the rest for me, and I’ll have one of the guys drive my car back to Vancouver.

As I finish packing my toiletries, there’s a knock on my door. Before I can say “come in”, the door opens and Holmes peeks his head in. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I answer.

He shuts the door behind him and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest.

When he doesn’t say anything, I ask, “What’s up, man?”

He looks toward the window as he says, “I wanted to make sure we’re cool.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I don’t regret my threat, because I’m glad that you’re going to see Doc, but I also know it was overstepping. I don’t want there to be any bad blood.”

“Was I pissed when you said you’d tell Coach? Fuck yeah, I was, but I also understand where you’re coming from, and I can’t hold that against you, Holmes.”

He wets his lips and keeps his eyes on the ground as he says, “I can’t stop thinking about what I could’ve done differently with Holden. If I’d seen the signs earlier of his depression, if I’d looked for help, if I’d set aside my skates for a goddamn second and helped him, would he still be here?”

“Dude, you couldn’t have controlled anything about that night, about Holden’s behavior. That was on him.”

“But I can’t help but wonder.” His eyes meet mine. “It’s why I threw down the threat with you, because I knew that it would make you leave, make you get checked out. It was all I had left in my arsenal.”

“You don’t have to explain to me, Halsey,” I say, seeing the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He toes the ground and quietly says, “You’re my brother, Pacey.” His eyes connect with mine. “I can’t lose another.”

“I know.” Guilt consumes me that my actions would worry Holmes so much. “I’m going to get it sorted, I promise. I’m just scared, is all. I’m not sure what they’re going to say, and I can’t stop playing yet.”

“But you’re not one hundred percent. Maybe that fear is there for a reason. Maybe it’s protecting you.”

“It’s hindering me.” I step up to him and say, “Just like your fear of losing someone else is hindering your ability to get close to anyone besides us.”

“There isn’t enough room in my goddamn soul to worry about anyone else,” Holmes says, his voice cracking. He drags his hand over his mouth as he avoids eye contact. “Look, I just wanted to make sure we’re cool.”

“You know we are. I don’t hold grudges against my boys.”

“Cool.”

He pushes off the door and reaches for the handle when I say, “Hey, Halsey.”

He looks over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“You can’t let your brother’s death dictate your future. He wouldn’t want that.”

“If he cared about everyone in his life, he never would’ve driven that night.” And with that, Holmes yanks open my door and vanishes into the hallway.

Sighing, I collapse on my bed. Fuck. Holmes needs some help, more than I expected. And, yeah, we might be enabling his reclusiveness, but we also don’t know how to handle him either. We don’t know how to help, because any time we talk to him about what happened, he becomes angry like he just did.

I drag my hand over my face.

One problem at a time. Once I figure out what’s going on with my head, I’m going to pull the boys together and come up with a plan to help Holmes. We’re not doctors or psychologists, but we have access to some of the best of both due to our jobs. And maybe it’s time to utilize that to help a brother.

“MAKE sure he takes care of you,” Hornsby says, giving Winnie a hug.

The boys are lined up in the driveway—including Holmes—and they’re all saying bye to me and Winnie—but mainly Winnie, who they seem to care more about.

“I’ll be sure to give him just as much shit as you would if he doesn’t.”

Hornsby laughs and squeezes her tight. “We’ve taught her well.”

Posey steps up and opens his arms. Winnie gives him a hug and he says, “You were a welcome surprise to our little dick den. Next time, bring friends.”

Winnie laughs hard, and so do I.

She pats him on the chest. “Katherine is available. I can hook you up.”

“Is that the paranoid one?” Posey winces.

“Yes.”

He shakes his head. “I have enough paranoia on my own, I don’t need to feed into someone else’s. But if you happen to have any other single friends, let me know. I think I’m ready to settle down.”

“Lawes’s sister is still single,” Hornsby says with a wink.

I point my finger at him. “Off-fucking-limits and you know that.”

Holmes keeps his distance and offers Winnie a wave. “Thanks for the book, really enjoying it.”

It’s awkward and uncomfortable watching him say goodbye, but Winnie handles it well. “You’re welcome. I have some others you might like. I’ll pull a list together for you.”

“Sounds great.” He steps back and then Taters takes a step forward.

He pulls Winnie into a hug and says, “Sorry I was such a dick to you at first. You’re pretty cool.”

Winnie squeezes him back. “Thank you for being the Hostess with the Mostest . . . attitude, Potato.”

Taters laughs. “Someone had to put some challenge into the fairy tale you walked into. I don’t mind being the villain.”

She pats his cheek. “A gracious villain. But now that I know we can be friends, be prepared to be annoyed with me.”

“Already am annoyed with you.” He smirks. “Good luck, and give this guy hell.”

“Oh, I will.” She winks and then walks around to the driver’s side of her car. Four days ago, I don’t think Winnie would’ve felt that level of comfort around the boys. She’d seen us all as overgrown, potentially dangerous men when she first arrived. And yet, she’s treating them like—like brothers now. I like that. A lot.

“Thank you for everything, guys. You really did save me. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of guys to stumble across.” Her eyes well up. “My mom would’ve been so jealous of me.” They all laugh and then she waves to them. “Bye.”

“Bye,” the boys say in unison.

I exchange fist bumps with all of them. Taters reminds me to text them updates. Hornsby reminds me to stay hydrated—God knows for what reason. Posey gives me a bro hug and asks to be updated, as well. And Holmes—well, he gives me a nod and that’s about it, but I know it’s the best he can give right now. We had our talk; we know where we stand.

I open Winnie’s car door and climb into the passenger side, only to fold up like an accordion, knees to my chest. The boys let out a roar of laughter as I struggle to replace the lever to send the seat back. As I look back to give them the bird, I notice that every one of them has their phones out—probably videoing my humiliation. Assholes.

“Oh dear,” Winnie says, laughing as well once she’s sitting comfortably in her seat.

“Little help,” I say.

Still laughing, she says, “The button is on the side of the seat. It’s electronic.”

My hand reaches to the side and I replace it. I push back, and the seat slowly slides backward and then stops. My legs are still cramped. I glance at Winnie. “Is that how far it goes back?”

“Must be.” Her hand covers her mouth as she laughs. “I didn’t think about how big you are when we planned this out.”

“We’re taking my car.” I start to get out, but Winnie grips my arm.

“How are we going to get Minnie back?”

I turn to the boys, who are all shaking their head. “None of you want to drive this back to Vancouver?”

“Hmm.” Hornsby taps his chin. “Drive a comfortable Tesla back to Vancouver or a cramped Mini Cooper. Wow, what a tough decision.” He waves at me. “Have a good trip.”

I clutch my head. “You know, this cramped space is really hurting my head, I don’t think it’s good for me.”

“Fuck off,” Taters says while laughing. “Your head is fine, but nice try.”

They all turn and go inside the house, leaving me with Winnie and her Mini Cooper.

Sighing, I say, “You’re going to need to rethink your car choices.” I shift and my shoulders bump into her. “And I hope you’re okay with breaking the speed limit, because we’re going to need to get to Vancouver fast.”

She chuckles and puts her car in drive.