Kiss and Don’t Tell
: Chapter 21

“Thank you for always carrying my bag,” Winnie says as we ride the elevator up to my apartment. “It’s really sweet.”

“My mom taught me well,” I say before I lean down and press a kiss to her lips.

Toward the end of our trip, Winnie went silent on me. She claims it was something Max said, but I don’t fully believe that. There was a dramatic shift in her mood. I’ve seen her talk to Max before, and I doubt there’s anything he could say that would make her shift that drastically. Or even Katherine, for that matter.

I think she got some news and she’s not willing to share it just yet.

Yeah, that might fucking sting, knowing that she’s not entirely comfortable in sharing things with me, but that’s probably going to take time. I also wonder if that’s to do with the fact that I’m from a largish family—hockey brothers included—and she’s used to only having her three people in her life. It’s going to take patience, Lawes.

The elevator doors open and I nod toward the left. “Down here.”

“You mean you don’t own the entire floor?” she asks with humor.

“There are three apartments on this floor. Sorry to disappoint. But it’s pricey as shit because of the views of the Burrard Inlet.” I stop at my door and fish my keycard from my pocket.

“Keycard? That’s fancy.”

“It’s kind of annoying, actually. Have to pull the damn thing out of my wallet every time.” I unlock the door and hold it open for her. She steps inside and I switch on the lights for her.

“Oh, wow,” she says as she looks straight ahead, to the entire expanse of windows with a view of the inlet. As she walks toward them, I set our bags down in the entryway and shut the door behind me. “Pacey, this is gorgeous.”

“Best apartment in the building,” I say, walking up behind her. “Great views, and I have a private rooftop. It might be a little smaller than some of my teammates’ places, but I don’t need anything big. I just want the views.”

“It’s spectacular.” She turns toward me and takes in the rest of the apartment. “Did you decorate yourself?”

“My mom helped a bit,” I admit. “She was adamant about me having a grown-up place, but I’m not much of a color guy so we compromised with blacks and whites and some pops of green.”

“It’s extremely sophisticated.” She smiles at me. “Makes you even hotter.”

I chuckle and pull her into my grasp by her hips. “Is that so?”

She nods. “The white walls, white furniture, black fixtures, and black cabinets—I don’t know, gives you a whole different vibe than I was expecting.”

“A good one, I hope.”

“A very good one.” Her hands fall to my lower back. “Are you still stiff?”

“I’m always stiff around you.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not referring to your penis, Pacey.”

I laugh.

“But I know your back was bothering you in the car.” She rubs it with her knuckles. “Are you okay?”

“I’d be better in a bathtub, with you naked, between my legs.”

Her eyes turn soft as she says, “Then show me the way.”

Fuck—this woman. She’s going to be the death of me, I know it. So willing to do anything.

I take her hand and lead her to my bedroom, where she makes a few comments about the size of my bed, the comfortable linens, and the surprising throw pillows. I take her into my master bathroom and head straight to the tub, turning the taps to start the water.

“Lavender good with you?” I ask her.

“As in bath salts?”

“Yeah. That good?”

Her smile is so fucking sexy. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

I sprinkle lavender bath salts in with the filling water, pull a few towels from my cabinet and set them to the side, and then stream some soft pop music from my phone to the Bluetooth speakers. When I turn to face her, she’s stripped out of her dress, leaving her in a red bra and matching red thong.

“Fuck, warn a guy,” I say, taking a step back to take her all in.

I’m a fucking sucker when it comes to Winnie’s body. Curvy, sexy, and so goddamn beautiful. She really checks all my boxes when it comes to a girl, and I think she’s starting to realize that as she gains more confidence around me.

I reach up and pull off my shirt, dragging it over my head and letting it fall to the ground. Her eyes roam my chest and then fall to my shorts as I undo them. Just her perusal with those sultry eyes has me hard. Keeping my eyes on her, I strip out of my shorts and push my boxer briefs down, revealing my hard-on.

Her lips quirk to the side as her eyes meet mine. She reaches behind her, undoes her bra, and allows it to fall. She brings her hands to her tits, which are more than a handful for me, and massages them a few times, making my dick jolt up. Still with that grin, she pushes her thong to the ground and steps toward me. She smooths her hand up my chest to my nipple, and slowly plays with it.

“I love that you’re already hard,” she whispers.

Fuck . . . that feels good. Who knew I liked my nipples played with?

“I told you, I’m always stiff around you.” I suck in a sharp breath when she pinches my nipple. “Fuck, baby. That feels really good.”

“I also like that you enjoy your nipples being played with. It’s hot.” And when I think she’s going to reach up and kiss me, she moves past me to the full tub. She bends over, giving me an amazing view of that slappable ass, and she turns off the water. “Am I getting in first, or are you?”

“Me,” I say, my voice cracking from the thought of being inside her body.

I slide past her, my hand dragging along her back as I get in the tub. I settle in and then hold out my hand to help her in. She settles between my legs, my erection pressing against her back, and then she leans against my chest. Her hands fall to my thighs and her head rests against my shoulder. I move my hands to around her waist and then I kiss her neck.

“Comfortable?” I ask her.

“Very,” she coos as she smooths her hands up and down my thighs.

“Good,” I say as I bring my hands to her breasts. She expels a long moan and sinks deeper against me as I carefully tweak her nipples between my fingers.

“Mmm, Pacey, you make me feel so good.”

“Same, babe,” I say into her ear before I kiss her neck again. She leans to the side, giving me better access, and I take advantage of it, sucking and nipping at her skin.

“You’re going to leave marks,” she says casually.

“Would it be bad if I claimed you?” I ask.

“No. I prefer it.”

That pulls a growl from me as I pinch her nipples and then suck the bottom of her neck into my mouth.

“Yes,” she moans as one of her hands falls to the back of my neck, keeping me in place. “Pacey, you make me so hot, so crazed, like if I don’t have you right now, I might combust.”

“You feel how hard my cock is?” I ask her. “You make me want to come before I’m ready.”

“Touch me,” she moans.

“I am.” I squeeze her nipple and she hisses between her teeth.

“My clit,” she breathes heavily. “Touch my clit.”

“Ah, my girl is ready for my fingers.”

“So ready, Pacey. I’m pulsing down there. I need relief.”

“Then you’ll have to stay that way.” I move my mouth to her shoulder and continue to work her breasts, pinching, lightly pulling, rolling, teasing her.

“Pacey.” She shifts against me, my cock painfully hard as her back rubs against it. “I’m going to touch myself.”

I bite down on her shoulder and she groans.

“Don’t even fucking think about it. Hands on my knees.”

“But don’t you want to watch me make myself come?”

Tempting, it’s really fucking tempting.

“I do, but I prefer to watch your hand bring you to completion, your legs spread wide for me. I can’t see anything under the water.”

I roll her nipples, applying more pressure.

“Fuck, Pacey.” She wiggles against me. “I want your dick.”

Can’t fucking hear that enough.

“And I want that tight cunt, but not yet,” I whisper as I run my tongue up her neck and to the spot behind her ear. She shivers under my touch and grips my knees more tightly as I ease the pressure on her nipples and now just lightly stroke them.

“You’re torturing me,” she complains, unable to be still.

“I’m pleasuring you.” I kiss back down her neck, nibbling along her skin, marking her as mine.

“I’m so close, Pacey.”

“I know.” I move one hand down toward her pussy. Her stomach hollows out, and when I reach the spot just below her belly button, her breasts arch and her pelvis seeks out my hand.

“Please.”

“Patience, baby,” I say, bringing my hand back up to circle my index finger around her breasts.

“I’m going to come. Just from your touch, I’m going to come.”

“Then come.” I grab her earlobe with my teeth and growl into her ear as her backside rubs against my cock again.

With my index finger and thumb, I grip her left nipple and playfully roll it, playing with the hard nub, loving how responsive she is as I move my hand back down. Her breathing picks up, her chest pushes against my hand, and she exposes the beautiful column of her neck as she begs, “Fuck me with your fingers, Pacey.”

“Greedy tonight.” I press my fingers just above her slit and then slide them back up. A feral moan flies out of her mouth right before she turns in my embrace. Her eyes are wild, her neck is red from my scruff and mouth, and her breasts are marred from my teasing.

Fucking gorgeous.

“I need your cock.” She grips me and I nearly buckle over from relief. “You need me just as much as I need you.”

“I need you more,” I admit, falling victim to her hands as she strokes me under the water.

“I want you bare. I’m on birth control. Do you trust me?”

“Fuck . . . yes,” I say, not even having to think about it. Even if she weren’t on birth control, I’m not sure I’d be able to hold back.

“How do you . . . how do you want me?” she asks, all of a sudden acting awkward.

“Climb on top of me.”

She shakes her head. “That position—”

“I’m not him,” I say, silencing her with two fingers to her lips. “Trust me, I want to see you ride my cock. I need to see you take control. I want to look you in the eyes when you take me bare and then come all over my cock.”

She bites down on the corner of her lip as she considers her options.

“I’ll help you,” I say, when I see how apprehensive she is. I grip her hips and say, “Sit up on your knees and move over my cock.” She takes a second to respond, but when she does, I grow even more excited. “Now reach down and grip my cock between your legs.” She does and then presses me against her entrance. “Fuck, yes, baby, right there. Now when you’re ready, slowly sink on top of me. But keep those gorgeous eyes on me.”

With a deep breath, she moves my erection right to her entrance, and then she slowly starts to sink down. The second I penetrate her with nothing between us, my eyes slowly start to roll to the back of my head.

Focus, look at her. Watch her.

When my eyes replace hers, I see her take a huge breath as she sinks lower, her mouth drops open in awe, and then she grips my shoulders as she goes lower and lower.

“Pacey, this is . . . I’m so full.”

“You’re not done, Winnie. Keep going.”

She bites her bottom lip. “I don’t think I can.”

“Look at me,” I demand. When her eyes meet mine, I say, “Put your hands behind your back and lace your fingers together.” When she gives me a confused look, I add, “Now.”

At the snap of my voice, she laces her hands behind her back, and her chest puffs out right at my eye level. Perfect. I smooth my hand around her back, bring her closer, and then hold her in place as my mouth descends on her breast. I suck one of her nipples between my lips and pull on it gently. She moans and slides farther down my cock.

“That’s it, baby. Relax.” I play with her other breast until she relaxes some more and takes me all the way in. I know the minute I’m at the hilt, because her mouth falls open and her head falls back.

“Oh, God,” she moans as her hips grind down on mine. “You hit me in a spot that no one ever has.” She grinds down again, making little circles. “Yes, Pacey.”

“Look at me.”

She opens her eyes, but keeps her hands behind her back.

“That’s it. Now, lift up and then slam back down.” She does as I say, and when she pushes back down on my cock, a loud moan falls past my lips from how fucking good it feels.

My hands fall to her hips and I guide her, repeating the process over and over again. Her hands unlock and they land on my shoulders, where she holds on for balance.

“Pacey, this is too good. Oh my God, it feels too good.”

“You’re perfect for me,” I say, unable to control what comes out of my mouth as her pussy tightens with spasms. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn hot. So tight.”

Her pace picks up, her tits bounce in front of my face, and her increasing moans light up the bathroom. “Yes, yes . . . yes,” she pants.

“Faster, baby.” I help pump her up and down. My balls grow tight as all the pressure in my body builds at the base of my cock. I’m ready to fucking explode, but I need her with me. “Where are you?”

“Fu-uck, Pacey,” she yells as her pussy clenches around my length, and she climaxes ferociously.

“Jesus, fuck,” I say. My cock swells and I come, hard, my head falling forward as I still and hold on, my orgasm twitching deep inside of her. “Mother . . . fucker,” I say, catching my breath.

Winnie loops her arms around me and then collapses against my chest, my dick still fully inside her, just where I fucking like it.

I rub my hand up and down her back as we both catch our breath. “Are you okay?” I ask her.

She nods against me but doesn’t say a word.

“You sure?” I ask as I feel a hitch in her breathing.

She lifts up from my shoulder, revealing a tear streaking down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she says. “This is so stupid. I shouldn’t be crying after sex. It’s so embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” I say. “Why are you crying?” When she tries to look away, I force her chin back so her eyes match up with mine.

“It’s terrifying, how much you make me feel . . . how much I feel for you.”

I rub my thumb over her cheek and smile up at her. “That’s not something to cry about, baby. It’s something to celebrate.”

“These are happy tears,” she says. “You make me feel like a queen, Pacey. I’ve never felt that way with someone before. I’m still trying to make sense of it all.”

“No need to make sense of it,” I say. “Just accept it. You are a queen. You’re my fucking queen.” No woman has ever made me feel this way, either. I’ve never said those words to anyone before. Never wanted to. But Winnie? I’m enraptured. I’m lost in her. I’m hers. And only hers. I bring her lips to mine and I allow myself to get lost as she sits on top of me.

“ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW?” Winnie asks.

Her back is to my chest, she’s wearing one of my shirts and I’m wearing boxer briefs, and I’m spooning the hell out of this girl.

“A little,” I answer honestly.

“What are you nervous about?”

I snuggle her in closer, replaceing comfort from the simplicity of having her in my arms.

“General nerves. If they replace something, what would that mean?”

She’s silent for a second and then says, “Would you tell me about it? About the day you were injured? Or is it too much of a sensitive topic for you? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”

I sigh and kiss her head. “I don’t mind talking about it with you.” She turns in my arms and faces me. Cutely, she tucks her hands under her pillow and waits for me to start talking. But I can’t help but notice just how breathtaking she is. “You’re beautiful,” I say.

“Thank you,” she answers.

Sighing, I think back to the day. “We were playing Oakland. It was a preseason game and I was feeling a little off. I couldn’t tell you why, but for some reason, my head wasn’t fully in the game. Oakland broke out and when defense was catching up, I blinked and lost sight of the puck. Next thing I know, I glance to my right and that was it. I was out cold after that. Next thing I remember, I’m in the training room with our doctor hovering over me, checking me out. When I was finally able to process what was happening, and realize I was in the hospital, they told me I had a severe concussion and that I would be out for a few weeks.”

“Did someone stay with you that night?” she asks, her voice incredibly concerned.

“Taters did. He woke me up every hour to make sure I was okay. He can be a dick, but he’s also one of the best guys I know.”

“I can see that.” Her finger glides over my chest. “How long did it take for the migraines to kick in?”

“Immediately,” I answer. “But I didn’t say anything.”

“What?” she asks. “Why wouldn’t you say anything?”

“I was at home, fucking pissed, sitting back and watching my team do all the work. I wanted to be back on the ice and I wasn’t about to prolong that.”

“Pacey, when did they replace out about the migraines?”

“Two months in, after I didn’t show up for a warm-up. I couldn’t get out of my car after driving to the stadium. I still don’t know how I made it there, how I drove through traffic while my head was hurting that bad.”

“Did they do tests then?”

I shake my head. “No. I downplayed it a bit, said it’s something I’ve experienced before but always tried to work through it. After my sixth missed game, they caught on. I told them I would take care of it after the season, but I wanted to make it through the playoff run. I saw Doc before we left for Banff, told him even though I had some migraines, I was fine and feeling good.”

“But you weren’t, were you?”

“At the time, yeah, I was fine. But the boys know me better and called me out. Hence why we’re here and not in Banff, where I want to be.”

“I’m glad they called you out.”

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” I say, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“I think you’re lucky you have brothers that care that much about you. You’re an elite sportsman and have to be at peak condition. You’re paid to be, so you have to put your health first. But you’re also their friend and someone they obviously care about. Not everyone has that.” She’s right. And I ought to be more grateful.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for saying that . . . much more gently than said brothers.” She laughs.

“I was thinking—while you’re getting checked out tomorrow, I’d make you dinner,” she says while her fingers dance across my chest.

“Yeah? What were you thinking about making?”

“Any requests?”

I think about it. “Besides your pussy for dessert?”

“Oh my God, Pacey.” I chuckle as she pushes at me. “Are you always such a horny man?”

“Never. You’ve done this to me.”

She shakes her head and asks, “Seriously, anything you don’t like? Anything you’re allergic to?”

“I like pretty much anything and I’m sure I’ll like whatever you make me.” I press a kiss to her nose.

“Do you need me to drop you off?” she asks. “How do you plan on getting to your appointment since your car is in Banff?”

“Got a driver coming to get me tomorrow. No worries there.”

“Oh, you’re fancy,” she playfully says and then asks, “It’s not going to be weird, you know, me staying at your place for a few days, cooking you dinner? That doesn’t freak you out?”

“Why would it freak me out?”

“Most guys would be freaked out,” she says. “I think you’re a different breed, because we’re moving pretty fast, and I want to make sure you know you have an out. Don’t think you need to—”

I press my fingers to her lips. “I’m going to stop you right there. Stop associating me with other men you’ve known. If I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have asked you to come back here. Things are moving fast because I want them to move fast, because I feel strongly about us. Okay?”

She nods as I reach out and tap the side of her head.

“Are you letting that sink in? Because I don’t want to have to keep validating my decisions. I don’t make choices just for the hell of it. Everything I do is for a reason. Understood?”

“Yes . . . Daddy.”

My eyebrows nearly shoot to my hairline as a laugh erupts out of me. “Excuse me?”

She laughs too. “You heard me . . . Daddy.”

Laughing some more, I push her to her back and move her shirt up her body, exposing her breasts. Her legs spread without me having to ask and she sinks against the mattress. “You realize I’m about to own your body, right?”

“That’s what I was hoping for,” she says with a glint in her eyes.

Hell, when she looks at me like that, I’m a goddamn goner.

TATERS: From the lack of text messaging, I’m going to assume you made it to Vancouver last night, but instead of letting your friends know you were okay, you “showed” Winnie around the apartment.

Hornsby: They totally fucked.

Posey: What did you have for dinner?

Taters: That’s what you’re concerned about? His dinner?

Posey: [shrug emoji] It was a road trip. Didn’t know if they got something we haven’t tried yet.

Hornsby: I’m guessing he ate something else for dinner last night . . .

Lawes: Yes, we arrived in Vancouver last night. On my way to see Doc now. We had pizza at a dive bar. And yeah . . . I “showed” her around. And that’s all I’ll say on that matter.

Taters: Good.

Hornsby: Not to distract from seeing Doc, but . . . admit it, she’s the best you’ve ever had.

Posey: I could see that for him.

Taters: Why would you assume that?

Hornsby: Did you see the way he looked at her? Dude is fucking sunk when it comes to this girl.

Posey: *whispers* I think he’s falling in love.

Taters: ^^Are you insane? It’s way too soon for that. Right? Lawes, are you falling in love?

Hornsby: *taps watch* Waiting for an answer.

Posey: Would love an update on that status of your heart. Does she hold it in her dainty hands?

Holmes: Interested too.

Taters: Not you, Holmes. There’s no fucking way.

Lawes: Easily, hands down, the best I’ve ever had. She makes me come so hard I black out every time Don’t ask me again, I don’t share details. And am I falling in love? Yup. Hard not to with this girl. She’s had it tough, yet she’s so real. Kind. She’s genuine and supportive of me, not just me as a hockey player. She listens. Didn’t know anyone like that existed, really. So, yeah. I’m falling hard. Now I need to figure out how to keep her.

Hornsby: Called it.

Posey: My nipples got hard reading that.

Holmes: Congrats, dude.

Taters: Umm . . . this is serious? You’re really falling for her?

Hornsby: Are you not paying attention? He’s already fallen.

Posey: On their way to the altar.

Taters: Whoa, don’t get ahead of yourself.

Hornsby: Wait, important question. Who’ll be your best man?

Posey: Ooh, great question. ^^^ Inquiring minds want to know.

Holmes: Bet I know who it is.

Taters: Not that I want to get involved in this ridiculous scenario, but . . . who is it?

Hornsby: Holmes, who’s your guess?

Posey: It’s me. Obviously. I’m the most chill with him.

Taters: We were roommates in our early days.

Hornsby: I’ve helped him put on his socks many times in the locker room.

Holmes: Best man = me.

Taters: ^^ HA!

Hornsby: Laughable.

Posey: Not to be a dick but . . . fat chance.

Taters: Lawes, fucking jump in here. An answer would be great.

Lawes: Not that I’m getting married any time soon, but if I had to pick—hands down, no question, it would be Holmes.

Hornsby: BullSHIT!

Taters: What the absolute fuck?

Posey: Malarky!

Holmes: Told you.

Taters: I need an explanation.

Posey: ^^^ Please note the hostility.

Hornsby: ^^^ Don’t listen to him. He’s in the kitchen and I heard his outraged roar from the pool.

Taters: Posey is having a conniption over here. He threw his water bottle at Stephan.

Posey: They’re fucking liars because they know I’m your number two.

Holmes: ^^^ Facts.

Hornsby: Go back to your GD book, Holmes.

Taters: Still waiting on an explanation.

Lawes: Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but Holmes doesn’t give me shit about anything. He goes with the flow, does what he’s told, and doesn’t interject his asinine opinion.

Taters: Umm, am I the only one who remembers that Holmes was the one who dropped the Coach card?

Hornsby: That is, in fact, true.

Posey: *Holds hands up* I didn’t want to be the one who pointed it out.

Holmes: I speak up when it matters.

Lawes: Another reason why he’d make a good best man. Also . . . thanks for the distraction, you assholes. I appreciate it.

Posey: Does that mean we’re all best men?

Hornsby: Valid question.

Lawes: We can talk about it when the time comes.

Taters: Which means, boys, there’s still time to impact the decision on the best man role.

Hornsby: You weren’t even a fan of a soon-to-be marriage.

Taters: Now that I know it’s a competition for best man status . . . it’s on. Also, keep us updated on what Doc says.

Posey: We’re here for you.

Hornsby: Whatever happens, we got you.

Holmes: Good luck, man.

“DO you think I’m going to have to hang up my skates?” I ask as I sit down in Doc’s office.

He moves his hand over his mouth and leans back in his chair.

The last few hours have been hell. I’ve been through a gauntlet of exams, and I’m not only physically exhausted, but I’m mentally drained. So many goddamn questions, so many times that I worried something serious could be wrong. Now that it’s all over and I’m sitting across from Doc, I want to know—what the fuck is going on?

“If I had a straight answer, I’d give it to you, Pacey.” He pulls his leg up and crosses it over the opposite knee. “Do I wish we had done this earlier in the season? Yeah, I do. I think if we’d got to the root of the problem, we’d have been able to attack it sooner. Now given your migraines, I’m worried we might have exacerbated the injury.”

“Yes, but I told you the last one wasn’t as bad.”

“Which is a good sign, but that doesn’t mean this is getting better.”

“So what now?” I ask, fear creeping up the back of my neck.

“Dr. Flannery, a neurologist, will examine the MRI and CT-scan results, looking for any abnormalities and soft tissue injuries.” He looks off to the side and says, “We really won’t know any more until those results come in.”

“And?”

He rests his hand on his desk. “When or if we get there, I will let you know.” His inability to look me in the eyes worries me.

“You’re not telling me something.”

He glances up.

“Just fucking say it or else I’m going to lose my shit.”

He folds his hands on his desk and levels with me. “If there’s a brain bleed or nerve fiber damage, Pacey, this past season was most likely your last.”

My hands turn into angry fists as I tightly grip the armrests.

“I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I figured I need to at least prepare you.”

I shake my head, completely in denial. “This was not my last season.”

“Pacey.”

“It wasn’t,” I yell, slamming my fist down. “It fucking wasn’t.”

Slowly he leans back and nods. “Let’s just take this one day at a time. Until then, try to relax.”

Yeah, easy to say coming from someone who isn’t about to lose everything they ever fucking worked for.

But instead of putting up a fight, I have the urge to get the hell out of here, so I nod solemnly. “And you’re not going to tell Coach?”

I met Doc in his personal office today, rather than at the arena. I did that on purpose, because I didn’t want to raise any red flags. It might be the off-season but word still travels.

“It’s my duty as the team doctor to report anything I replace out about a player. For now, though, I won’t submit my report until I know the facts.”

“Doc—”

“I can’t lie, Pacey. This is my job too.”

I lean back in my chair. “Fuck.”

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, Pacey, but nothing good will come from worrying. What you can do is start a headache diary. I want you to note what you eat, what exercise you do and for how long, what other factors affected your behavior prior to each migraine. Also, what they’re like. Write a description of each incident of visual disturbances or unusual sensations, including when they occurred, how long they lasted and what triggered them.

“If we can see a pattern of what precedes your migraines, we can see if they’re exercise related, diet, or even stress-related. The neurologist will need that too, so if you could try and note anything you can recall from the last few migraines you’ve suffered, we’ll have more to give him. I’ll provide him a list of vitamins or supplements you’re taking, but if that changes, let me know to add that too. Stress doesn’t help, so try to relax. Any of the boys come back with you? Maybe you can hang out with them tonight.”

I shake my head. “They all stayed in Banff. I actually, uh”—I scratch the side of my cheek—“I came back with a girl.”

“A girl?” Doc asks, surprised. “I don’t think in all the years I’ve known you that you’ve ever shown interest in someone.”

“Yeah, well, Winnie is different.” My voice is terse, angry, as I speak about my girl, and it’s all because of what’s hanging above my head—possible forced retirement. “She’s staying with me. Actually, she was heading to the market today to grab some food to make me dinner.”

“Then I suggest you channel your energy there.”

I stand from my chair. “You’ll call me the minute you hear anything?”

“Yes.” He offers me his hand and I give it a shake.

“Thank you.”

I head out of his office and pull my phone from my pocket as I make my way to the car. I send a quick text to the boys.

Lawes: All done with Doc. Waiting for scan results and to see the neurologist. Will keep you updated. He has no answers. I’ll keep you updated.

And then I send a text to Winnie.

Pacey: Have to make a stop and then I’ll be back home. I need to see your face.

I pocket my phone and make my way through the building, taking a deep breath.

It’ll be okay.

Everything will be okay.