Lusting For Ralph
Chapter 19

"But it was not our first time, I've gone bare before..."

They finally discussed Madison's issue with Ralph going bare. They had just got back from their romantic dinner at the outdoor restaurant of the seaside inn. Ralph reached for the minibar thinking he needed a beer for the talk.

"...but we were that close, I don't want to get pregnant," she throws her words unexpectedly and he was quite surprised by it.

"Huh, ever?" he took a sip of his cold beer and sits back on the couch.

"No, I mean...before marriage kind of stuff." Madison gets her beer and joins him to his side.

"Ahh....hmm, I never thought you're the traditional kind of woman."

"You learned something every day." She sipped her beer and relaxes in his arms.

"But you know that I got you right? I love you Madison. I'd do anything for you..." he took a big gulp and put his beer down.

"Ralph," she stirred in his arms.

"What? I'm just a bit upset that you'd think I would flee the moment you're pregnant...if,"

Madison got up from the couch and leave him to the bedroom. She didn't expect that Ralph would fuss about the issue, and she didn't like that they were discussing it. "Madison?"

"I know you wouldn't Ralph, that's why!"

"What do you mean?" he looked at her getting more and more confused.

"Look, can we just drop this?!" she said as her eyes were a bit teary already.

"Madison, baby... this is not you."

"Well, maybe you don't know me that well!"

Ralph was taken back from her outburst.

"I told you we should just be friends, this...us, doing it. It's just too complicated!" Madison sighed as she sits on the edge of the bed.

"Baby, look at me and tell me that's all you want us to be..." Ralph took her hands and cupped her beautiful face shifting her gaze to him.

A tear finally slips before the damn broke and she was in his arms trying to hold down her emotions.

"I love you, Madison. And I wanted more, always and I waited...and waited,"

"Ralph," she reached out to touch him but he already gets up and decides to leave her in the bedroom as he told her that he was going to take a walk.

They fought a lot, but never this personal and he hated it. He was emotionally overwhelmed, he couldn't believe that she was even considering that their lovemaking was a mistake.

He had thought that his life was perfect already, he had his Madison.

Had.

Then things were falling apart in front of his eyes.

Ralph opened his fresh bottle of beer and took a drink while sitting on the beach in front of the seaside inn. The skyline was clear, it was beautiful. He wished he could sit there and enjoy the view with the love of his life. His brain was busy thinking about how he was going to function when he gets back to the city. Maybe he could fake it, maybe he could handle it.

But he surely has to try.

Morning came too soon, Ralph was back to their room just before dawn, stripped to his boxers and slipped under the cover, and lay next to her. Her soft figure was visible from the dimmed light dusk of their bedroom window.

He hated that he had left in the middle of their argument, but he didn't want to fight. He just wanted her, has been for so long and he didn't like that she wants to end things too soon.

"Ralph?"

The sun was shining brightly on his face, she was fresh and dressed with two cups of coffee in her hands. His eyes were still tired from the lack of sleep, but he sits up and faces the inevitable trying to mask his feelings just like he always has for years. "Hey...sorry about last night, I didn't want to fight. We'll do things your way..." he left his words hanging, knowing that she had also been thinking when he left her to be alone. Last night was not their biggest fight, but for him, it was the most emotional one and he did not like where things were heading.

Not at all...

"Coffee?" she said smiling while giving his cup then drinking her own. She didn't want to talk about last night, she was tired from all the thinking she just wanted to go back home and be alone for a while.

"What time do you want us to go back?" she was deliberately ignoring his words because she didn't want to deal, she wanted him too. So much that it hurts.

But her insecurities were eating her away, she has her parents to blame but she was all grown up she should be able to outgrow her worry and move on with her life. That was the one thing she had never told him, he knows that her parents were always fighting but he didn't know the reason. He didn't know that she was the one, the problem for their unhappiness.

"Anytime you want, we can get breakfast on our way back if you want?"

That was it, he thought. Her wanting to get back so early, was it. And he put his coffee down then headed for the bathroom telling her that he was going to get ready. The feelings were coming back too strong and he was suffocating from the heartache. You can do this big boy. Toughen up!

He chanted the words over and over again. It has been years...his mind wanders again. What's a couple of bumps along the way would means, if he could get her as his ever after.

If... that's a big if, you fool!

His mind was making him doubt himself, but in the end, he decided to just let things flow as they have always been.

That day they went back after their seaside breakfast. They didn't talk much, but they have their understanding not to go near their issues while both know that it was the source of their main problem.

Her third eye issue was quickly forgotten as both parted to their unit once they arrived at their apartment building. They parted with an awkward see you later, and both sighed once they were behind closed doors.

Except for Ralph, where he had his suicidal ghost Suzy bursting from his kitchen wall the moment he opens his fridge to reach his bottled water, just inches from his face.

"What the f**k, Suzy! are you trying to scare me to death? I just got here, have mercy on my poor heart will you."

"Ralph is sad, Suzy has a thing for sadness and Suzy doesn't like it!"

"It's a thing that we feel, I can be sad or happy, can't just turn it on and off like a switch," Ralph said as he gulped down his water, feeling so parched while he didn't even talk that much on their way back home.

"Promised me you will get happy then?" the young ghost fiddled with her dirty noose, Ralph noticed she always does that whenever she was nervous. Though he wouldn't understand why she would get nervous for him. He was a stranger to her, he didn't know what kept on pulling him to her.

While Suzy knows, she knows perfectly why she was there and why she hasn't moved on.