MY Possessive Mafia Men
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Chapter 148: You Brightened My Darkness Chapter 148: You Brightened My Darkness Angelia

For a second day in a row, I skipped both school and work. It was easier skipping school but I felt terrible knowing someone else had to cover my shift. Still, I needed time to sort things out and my emotions were still all over the place. It exhausted me and I had to take care of myself before I added more to my plate. On a bright note, I actually got around to figuring out my next step yesterday like I had planned to.

It was hard because the next step wasn't something I was ready for but something I still needed to do. I needed answers and to get them, I had to talk to them. These past days made it clear that if I didn't speak to them, I would never truly move past it because I would always wonder why. It was the single most hardest choice I had made to grow up. When I was a kid, I thought that people over eighteen were adults but the older I got, the more I learned that it had nothing to do with

age and all to do with how you acted and how you handled difficult situations. I had always I becoming an adult because mature decision s**d a** no matter how beneficial they could be could be

dreaded

When Andy got back yesterday from picking up my stuff, he had told me about Riccardo showing

up and then Marshall. It hurt to hear about them but at the same time, it gave me hope that some

of what we had was genuine. I mean, they must have cared at least a little if they were trying to seek me out, right? Abandoning Andy and James at the dinner table, I walked to the room for privacy. Sitting down on the bed, I finally turned off the flight mode on the phone. I had avoided my phone like the plague but it was time to get my a*** in gear and deal because if it was one thing I hadn't done these past days, it was dealing with the shit that had happened. Instead, I had fully succumbed to wallowing in self-pity so much so that Andy had sent James over while he was at work just so I couldn't wallow too much. The joke was on him, James had brought a shit ton of

ice cream and we watched some movies. The saddest movie ever made in my opinion and we cried together and if that wasn't the height of wallowing, I didn't know what was.

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My heart stuttered in my chest as notification ticked in on my phone. Ldidn't know what I had expected but the overwhelming amount of both texts and missed wasn't it. Going for the easiest first, I clicked on the missed calls and scrolled down, seeing all the guys even Kingston who despised talking had called several times. The last call was just a few minutes ago from Marshall. I almost felt nauseous as I went to the texts next, choosing to read Riccardo's first since he had been the one who texted me last and scrolled up to read the oldest text first.

'I tried calling back but you didn't answer. Marshall told me, we will figure it out, my bunny. We will replace a way to make it work, I promise. Call me when you can.' 1/4 Chapter 148: You Brightened My Darkness

His first message gutted me, had he ever planned on telling me the truth? Or would he have just continued to lie if I hadn't found out? Marshall told me but you already know. Maybe not that I had been his student but he had known there could be a possibility at the very least.

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'I am starting to worry, please give me a call." And then I read his third message. 'Lam

I am so sorry. Whenever you are ready, we will be waiting. We are not giving up on us.' Us? Was there even an us any longer? The thought that we weren't broke me further and I didn't know what I wanted, only that I didn't want to feel like this, a mix of too many negative emotions that I couldn't discern one from the other. Scrolling down his newest text, I saw that it was sent an hour ago.

'You were the best thing to happen to us, we knew it the second we saw you. I was just too greedy to let you walk away before we had a chance to see where this could go.'

Tears welled in my eyes as I read his message, I was surprised I even had the capability for more tears after all the crying I had done. My period which I had just gotten yesterday made my emotions go from chaotic enough to complete haywire. I wasn't ready to read the texts from the other, not after how shitty I felt after reading Riccardo's but it needed to be done. It was basically like pouring alcohol into a wound, it might hurt but it would keep the wound from festering. Marshall was right under Riccardo's and I clicked on it. Doing the same with him, I scrolled up and read from the oldest to the newest.

'We well idiots, completely and fucking idiots. It pains me to know that we were causing you to hurt and I can never apologize enough for it, please give us a chance to explain."

How many opportunities had they had to come clean? Too many and yet they hadn't. If they had told me in the beginning, maybe...maybe I would have been more inclined to forgive them. Now that feelings were involved, it was much harder to overlook what they had done.

'I drove by the restaurant today where we were on our date and I was thinking of you. I am always thinking about you, forgive me, baby girl.'

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A few tears dropped onto my screen and I wiped it away as I kept reading further.

"The moment I saw you in my class, I never cared about you being my student. You are worth the risk, you are worth everything.' My heart couldn't take this and yet I didn't stop reading.

I am happy you have Andy, I know he will take care of you like we should have done. I am sorry."

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My thumb hesitated over Kingston's message, I was afraid of what he had to say because when a man used as few words as him, he chose them with the intent to get the message across. What

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Chapter 148: You Brightened My Darkness.

message has Kingston for me? Stealing myself, I clicked on his name, I started to scroll up like I had done with the others, only to realize there weren't multiple texts.

"There is much I regret when it comes to you. The first one is that we never told you the whole truth, we were selfish but what I have come to realize was that we were also scared. We were scared because, for once, we had something we truly needed: a bond with someone who glued us all together, making us whole in a way we never were before you and we were scared to lose that.' A tear dropped from my eyes. "The second I thing I regret is how I never let you see the happiness I felt when you were near. Being happy is foreign to me and again I grew scared because happiness was never meant for me but somehow, you still made me feel it and experience it. Your light brightened my darkness.'

I had to I to press my hand to my mouth to keep the sobs quiet. It felt like my heart was getting torn apart, their messages were sharp edges and cut me open. "The third thing is that I never shared with you my thoughts about you and you deserve to know each and every one of it. I think about how I like the way you talk to me with a whisper to match my own. I think about your smile that lights up my heart and I think about how beautiful I you are inside and out. I think about how much I love sharing my kitchen with you, cooking with you side by side. And lastly, I think you fit perfectly, like the last piece of the puzzle we needed to make us complete. We were incomplete with you, my pumpkin. Please, come back to us.' (1 Their words

were like a vice squeezing my heart, I felt the truth in them which told me a lot about. the faith I still had in these men. A piece of me knew that they hadn't meant to hurt me but the truth of the matter was they still did. Trust was a fickle thing, wasn't it? It was a bond that when kept, was the strongest bond of all. It preceded love, you couldn't have love without the foundation of trust but when that trust was broken, it would never be as strong again. You could try to rebuild it and through the years, it might become close to what you had before but there would always be a crack there that would never truly heal. But sometime, that bond was still worth fighting for, I just needed to figure out if that applied to us. Knowing what I needed to do next, I sent a message to Marshall, telling him to meet up with me at the park. I would send one to Riccardo and Kingston too. I figured it might be easier for me to see them one on one than all of them at once. It would have been too much for my fragile heart. It was about time we had a talk and for me to get answers.