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Chapter 150: I Can't Turn Off My Feelings Chapter 150: I Can't Turn Off My Feelings Marshall

"You are right, that is hypocritical of me." I said, I had always planned to forgive my friends, I just needed a bit of time.

"I am glad you agreed." Angelia said and the corner of her lips tugged upwards slightly like she was about to smile but she didn't. "What about our situation?" She asked.

""What do

what do you mean?"

"If we ever work this out, how will it go with you as my professor?"

"Simple, I will quit."

I

"You have already handed in your resignation letter, right?" She asked.

"Yes, but that is after this semester. I meant, I will quit at once." I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, and in the grand scheme of it all, it wasn't. I wanted her back more than I wanted my last semester. She blanched.

"I can't let you do that."

"And I will not let you risk expulsion." I said and her eyes narrowed.

"It is a good thing that we were not together because I won't allow you to lose last semester. I know how much you love your job."

Not as much as I love you, I thought, shocking myself speechless at the realization.

"Why do you care about that?" I asked softly when I was able to collect my thoughts.

"I hurt you." I added.

"Yes, you did but I haven't stopped caring about you just because you hurt me. I can't turn my feelings off, even though I might wish to." The last part was said in a whisper but I still heard it.

I didn't focus on that, though, instead I focused on the fact that she still cared even after what we had done. If she still had feelings for us, there was hope.

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Chapter 150: I Can't Turn Off My Feelings

"Thank you for seeing me, I just....I will text you when I have figured my feelings out." She said.

"Do you want a ride? I offered, wanting to have as much time with her as would allow and she shook her head.

"No, thank you. I would like to walk." She stood up from her seat but paused by me.

"For what it is worth, you should give Riccardo and Kingston. A friendship like yours is something

that should be treasured."

Not given me a chance to say anything back, she walked away. She was right though, I should forgive them, I already had. I was just too stubborn to admit it to myself.

'I sat there until long after she was gone from view. This was one of the most challenging

conversations I had ever had, I just hoped she had found what she was looking for in my answers, and I hoped it was enough to return to us. Kingston POV.

Action had consequences, that was the first time I learned when I was a child. The second thing I learned was that words wouldn't help me. Those two things were something I had brought with me to adulthood and I let the lesson I was subjected to define me and in return, define my relationship with everyone else.

I saw now that while I had tried showing Angelia how much she meant to me, it hadn't been enough. She was a thinker, a speculator, a twisting and turning each thought and a what if kind of girl. So while I had been busy showing her what I felt for her, she might not have seen it all. She needed to hear it, so there would be no second guessing about what I actually meant. Words were important, that was something I had learned recently. Words were significant because there were things not even action could express. I was baking when my phone vibrated at the kitchen island behind me, indicating a text message. Whenever I needed to calm down or just needed someplace to think, I found myself either baking something or cooking. But it wasn't helping me now, though. Sharing my kitchen with her had somehow made the experience into something more, and now without her, I found it lacking. Dammit, even cooking had been ruined, not that it really surprised me. Angelia had this uniqueness about her that made everything so much more and with her gone, so was the excitement.

Another thought I should have shared with her.' I said to myself, remembering the text message I had sent to her yesterday before my fight. Turn Off My Feelings

Chapter I wasn't usually the sentimental type, it was just another thing she brought out in me, along with the glimpse of happiness and excitement. Slowly but surely, she changed me and while a piece of 'me didn't like that, I could also see how much she meant to me when she was starting to impact me as a person. There were few I would change for, and she was one of them. Drying my hands on my apron, I turned around and grabbed my phone, checking the text I had expected to be from Riccardo. So it surprised me when it was from the one person I had been afraid would I never talk to me again.

'Meet me at Rock Hard Cafe in Ogume in one hour. I will be in the backyard, we need to talk.'

My lips twitched as I looked down at the screen and shook my head.

'Rock Hard Cafe sounds like my kind I of f place, I will be there." T I replied to her text message and a second later, I noticed that she had read it.

Abandoning the chocolate cake I had started on and took a quick shower and left to meet up with her. Thrill shot through me at the thought of seeing her after everything that had happened, the pain I had amassed yesterday in the ring was just a distant throbbing and my mind was too busy thinking of her to give any attention to the bruises. There wasn't a parking space near the cafe, so I had to walk a few minutes to get there. I didn't mind, though, it was a nice enough evening. The sun had set but the temperature was still warm. It wasn't until I got to the cafe's backyard that my nerves buzzed underneath my skin. I knew this wouldn't be an easy conversation. s sitting

She

was

with her back to me, watching a couple on the table beside. The couple were gazing into each other's eyes with so much adoration and it twisted my heart. I couldn't see her expression but I knew the longing she felt because I felt it too. While I wasn't sure about the flirty type, what we had between us was just as carefree and sweet as what the other couple had. The second I got near, she turned around as if she had sensed me. Even sadder, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Although, it wasn't just the kooks that made her so, it was who she was as a person that really got to me. I had never met anyone quite like her, she was brave yet naive but also intelligent. She cares about those around her and didn't have one mean bone in her body. She was my opposite in so many ways, there was no wonder why I liked her so much when L could barely tolerate myself.

Her eyes widened as she took me in, from the bruises on my cheek to the cut on my lips.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"You should have seen the other guys." I said, taking a seat on the opposite side of her.

"Give me the truth, Kingston. For once." She demanded, her words cut but I deserved her anger. "Sometimes, I participate in illegal fights." I admitted.

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Chapter 150: I Can't Turn Off My Feelings

"Why?" She sounded like she couldn't understand why I had wanted to fight.

"It is just something I need occasionally to burn off some steam, we have rules in place so no one gets hurt too badly."

She still looked like she was unable to understand it but she didn't question me further on that subject. She palmed the coffee cup in her hand and looked up at the sky. I followed her gaze, with the lights from the city, it was difficult to place any of the constellations. "Did you mean what you said in the text you sent me?" She asked quietly, still looking up at the dark sky. "Every single word of it, I am not good at expressing myself..." she shifted her attention back to 'me.

"I think you expressed yourself perfectly, it meant a lot to me to read that." She whispered softly.

Even hurt by what we had done to her, she still continued to match my own way of talking. Suddenly uncomfortable, I scratched the back of my neck.

"Well, I..ah...it never helped in the past to use words and I thought it didn't matter. So I learned

actions spoke louder but I guess I just forgot that sometimes, the people close to me deserve to hear what I think rather than having to read through my actions."

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POS

I really wish we could get more than one chapter at a time. This book is so really good

Donna DeNardo Grogan

No the one men I was waiting for to open up to her. Have to wait for next chapter

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