MY Possessive Mafia Men
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Chapter 174: Feeling Lonesome Chapter 174: Feeling Lonesome Angel

When the morning light first streamed in my window, my body felt slightly lighter, though my eyes only fell heavier. In a couple of hours, I had been awake for twenty-four hours. At my age, I really didn't handle it as well as I did when I was a little girl. In the early morning, I did some googling to replace out which stuff I should buy, I had settled on multiple things, and I know it would drain my savings, but it would be worth it to feel safe. I waited until ten o'clock before I felt comfortable to leave my room. At this time, it would be bright outside and the street would be busy, giving me a safety blanket. No one would dare to do anything to me with so many witnesses, at least, that was what I prayed on. Before I went, I I armed myself with my trusted self-defense equipment. I also stuffed the bear back inside the box so I could throw it in the garage container on my way and put the note in the envelope with the pictures. As soon as I exited my building, I took a deep breath. Being outside in in broad daylight helped make me feel better about going alone. There was something about light that gave me a sense of security. It actually felt good being outside. I think I was more scared of being stuck in an apartment than being outside with pep, especially after replaceing out that someone had gotten inside my apartment without leaving marks. Though, remembering that I had been done, it followed in the daytime when I talked to Marshall and the next day to Riccardo, and when I left the police station. I didn't feel completely safe out here either.

Heading to the bus stop, I took a bus to the nearest best buy store. After I arrived at the store, I browsed, trying to replace the thing I had seen on the internet. I didn't hurry as I took my time feeling safer than I would have at home. An hour later, I walked out with an entry alarm sensor as well as two cameras. Afterward, I swung by another store to buy a portable door lock which made it practically impossible for someone to break in through the door while it was attached. As I neared my building, I grabbed my phone and called my mother. My nerves were still fired, and I couldn't go inside my apartment without having someone on the other side talking to me, like a metaphorical hand to hold. She didn't need to know why I was calling her, but it would make me feel calmer knowing someone was aware of me in case, there actually was someone in my apartment. I could rest a bit easily when I had set up the cameras and motion sensor since I would know if someone was inside or not. But right now, I was going on blind. "Hi, mother." I tried sounding cherry on the phone, because she could pick up the slight distress in my voice. How was it that parents always knew when something was wrong?

"Honey, what is

what is going on? Are you okay?" Her warm voice filtered through the phone, settling my nerves a little.

"Yes, I am good."

"Why wouldn't lied.

"You tell me, you

ou don't sound good." She said, seeming suspicious.

She could always see right through me or in this case, hear when I had something I was trying to hide.

"I don't know what you want me to say, I am fine." I locked myself into the building and went to my mailbox.

"Is it about that boyfriend of yours?" She continued, dismissing my lie.

Once when I slept over at Kingston's place, my phone rang while I was in the bathroom. As a joke, I had told him to answer it, knowing he wouldn't because of his aversion to talking. It turned out, the joke was on me instead because not only had he answered it, it also turned out that it was my mother on the phone and not Andy like I had thought. When I had gotten the phone back, I had learned he had introduced himself as my boyfriend rather than my dominant. And I was grateful because that was stuff my parents didn't have to know about. They don't need to know I am into a bdsm lifestyle. Stuffing my mail inside my bag, I started walking up the stairs.

"L...we were taking a break." I finally admitted, knowing she wouldn't give up until I gave her something. My pulse rose as I neared the

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Chapter 176: Feeling Lonesome

third floor, but it helped to have my mother on the phone.

"What happened?" I could literally hear her disappointment.

I had never had a boyfriend before and while Kingston hadn't been mine, my mother thought so. She had probably also thought that since

I had waited so long to get one, then it meant that he was special. That maybe he had been the one for me, if only she knew.

"I just think we went too far, you know?" I steeled myself as I unlocked my apartment door and took hesitant steps inside.

"It became too serious too quickly, and I have never been in a relationship before." My eyes scanned every nook and cranny of my room.

"I just need to take a step back, it was too much to adjust to at once."

It was a lie, but at the same time, it felt a little true. We had been going too fast and got too serious too quickly. And when it all came crashing down around us, we hadn't taken the time to build a strong enough foundation. Something that could only be built with time, I checked inside the bathroom, in my closet, and everywhere. My tense shoulders relaxed when I saw that it was safe.

"I get that, sweetie. It was the same with your father." She said, my hand stilled just as I was about to lock the door with the new portable door locks.

It was? I didn't know that." She chuckled

"You did know that we got married within a year of us meeting. That wouldn't have happened if things hadn't become so serious fast."

That was true, but I had never thought of it that way. I hadn't thought about how quickly it had happened because they were clearly meant to be together. My mother and father were one of those disgustingly cute couples who still danced whenever their song came on the radio a and always touched each other as if they couldn't stand to have ant space between them.

"Sometimes, time is irrelevant. You can't put time on love or feeling in general. They happen when they happen. It is not something you can control. And I know it can be scary, but you will never know if it is worth it if you don't stick it out and see." "You are right." I said, finally twisting the key and fitting the handle of the portable door lock into place.

"But, this is new for me, mother. I need a break to see what I want more clearly. There were so many strong emotions and I couldn't think properly while I was with him."

"I understand, you do whatever is good for you, and only you know what that is."

will, how is father doing? Is his ankle any better?"

My father had broken his ankle a few weeks ago and had been a little stir-crazy, having to take it easy. He didn't do very well, because of being constantly at home and unable to do much. She sighed.

"He is still heading, the doctor thinks he will have to wear the cast for three more weeks, if not more. You know how he is, he just can't sit still." I outright laughed at that, knowing my father all too well.

+

"I have never...' .." I stopped myself from saying I had never met someone as restless as he was, but that wasn't true. I think my men could give him a run for his money. "Yes, he is a restless man. What is he doing to keep busy?"

"Crosswords, movies, books and games. Basically, whatever can put his mind to use."

She asked me about school and I failed to inform her, more like keeping it from her that I hadn't been to school this past week. We continued to talk for about an hour. It felt good. I hadn't been able to speak to her much since I started the arrangements with the guys, usually we talked at least once a week. 2/3

Chapter 176: Feeling Lonesome

When we finished our conversation, I felt more alone than I had ever felt. I tried to keep busy, going over the notes Marshall had sent me for his class and installing the cameras and alarm sensor. Still, no matter what I did, the lonesome feeling wouldn't disappear. Chapter Comments Dianne Rundle

(my possessive Mafia men) He is still healing