My sensual criminals
Meditating on the night before

Or am I? Is it so strange to wonder at the futility of it all? How long can this situation really last? James and Jack are criminals. The only reason I know them is because they broke into my room to steal the paintings on my walls. Yes, they took my virginity and gave me pleasure in ways I had only read about in my novels, but can I really expect them to care about me? The idea itself is ridiculous.

And yet, last night, after the incredible experience we shared, they cradled me in their arms. I found myself surrounded by two hard, ripped, warm bodies, feeling more protected than I could ever remember feeling. There was real tenderness there, I'm sure of it. The same men who had burst into my room and claimed my body showed me real affection afterwards. I even opened up to them a little, giving voice to my innermost fears and desires.

I suddenly feel silly for crying in front of them. They probably think I'm a stupid teenager, blubbering like that after sex. Is that why they left? I'm sure they couldn't wait to leave. They are men, after all, and most men aren't supposed to be good with feelings. Besides, come to think of it, they're criminals. So my whiny idiocy probably scared them away.

But now that they've eaten my pussy and ass, will they come back? Surely, two irresistibly hot men like James and Jack can get any girl they want, so why would they come back? And there's still the mystery of the paintings. Both the Dali and the Pollock are still hanging on my walls, like two sentinels. Why haven't they taken them yet? They've already had two chances.

As I continue to get ready for school, I am more and more certain that last night was the last time I saw these two. James and Jack aren't coming back because it's too risky. I already know too much about them. For all they know, I could reveal their identities to my parents, the police or whoever. I could report them for breaking and entering, not to mention assault, even though our meeting was anything but that. I wanted to be with them more than anything in my life, but tell that to a judge and jury. Why should James and Jack trust me? Why would they keep coming back?

Nevertheless, I spend the rest of the day fervently wishing to see them again. Even though my pussy and ass hurt from being taken by their huge cocks, I feel more satiated than ever. It's as if the pain is proof that it was real, that I've finally gotten what I wanted: a place to direct all the love and lust bubbling inside me. I've always known that one man was never going to be enough for me, and now that these two men have entered my life, I can't let them go.

I want their bodies to crush me between them and fill my holes at the same time. I want them to possess me, over and over again. And now I know that this desire, this need to be owned, involves more than just being taken by two cocks until I scream. It involves more than shuddering orgasms and the raw masculinity of an alpha male as he uses my body to satisfy his lust. The way James and Jack cradled me after touching me last night: that's what I want more of.

Am I greedy for wanting two men to pleasure me at once and then treat me with affection and tenderness? Maybe I am. But what if it were possible, what if that kind of happiness is really for me? All my life, I thought it wasn't. I thought I would never belong anywhere, and that my family situation would never progress beyond coldness and pain. But if I can get this far with James and Jack, who I don't even really know, what other wonders await me around the corner? This change inside me comes from deep within. The breaking of my hymen broke down walls I didn't know existed and has given me a sense of wonder and hope. It's as if the void inside my heart has been filled with two people who truly appreciate me for myself, and I'm not just a person taking up space and air that could be better utilized in another way.

Also, I realized how much James and Jack enjoyed being with me. They enjoyed my body, which has caused me so much insecurity and has been a source of embarrassment for my mother and torment for my father. For the twins, my body was a source of joy. I knew it by their grunts, their agitated breaths and their moans. I could tell by their wandering, hungry hands, unable to linger long on one part of my curves before needing more.

But satisfaction is also bidirectional. It seemed I was giving them pleasure, too. Remembering how my tight pussy and ass had brought both men to orgasm makes my pussy burn and unleashes butterflies in my stomach. Not one man, but two, replace my body attractive enough to sneak over and make out with me in the middle of the night when they could have any girl they wanted. Yes, the change started when my cherry popped, but it's a pebble that has thrown an avalanche. I can feel a boldness growing in me, a confidence I've never had before. This kind of appreciation, this kind of acceptance is new to me. It makes my body tingle in more ways than one.

Unfortunately, the rest of the week goes by without James and Jack showing up again. Night after night, I lie awake in bed, eyes open at the slightest noise, only to replace myself alone. The confidence that began to grow in me slowly begins to crumble. Night after night. Days at school pass in frustration. All I can think about is my two hung daddies: their strong bodies, their huge cocks, their sparkling blue eyes... and how much I want more of them. Impatiently, I listen to Isabela prattle on about prom. I do homework on autopilot. I attend silent dinners with my parents and don't even try to talk to my dad about going to college anymore. He's never going to care about my aspirations and I don't have the energy to force him.

I haven't gone back to reading my secret romance novels since the last time James and Jack broke into my house because they don't seem to work anymore. I've had the real thing, live and in technicolor, and I can no longer rely on these made-up Romeos to quench my thirst.

But where are James and Jack? Hope deserts me and my frustration mounts. School will be out soon, and college is no longer an option. In fact, without them, I have no hope for a future that promises any kind of happiness. My parents are as horrible as ever, and the atmosphere at home is both stifling and demeaning. The walls of my tedious life are closing in on me again, and this time there will be no escape.