Noir
Chapter 38

Slowly, pulling away, Noir pressed his forehead against mine, before a low growl escaped his throat as he pushed me away, the sound resonating in the air. I could feel the tension in his body, his muscles coiled like a predator ready to strike. With a shaky breath, I nodded, feeling my heart pound against my ribs, its rhythm echoing in my ears. The dim light cast a soft glow on our faces, highlighting the intensity in his eyes. The desire, the need, simmered between us, like a flickering flame in the darkness. Noir let out a long, ragged sigh, his gaze fixed on something beyond me, his eyes distant and troubled.

"Look," he began, his voice strained yet filled with longing, "I'm not saying I don't want you. Because I do. I want you more than anything in my life. But we can't..."

His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken secrets, a barrier between us. I bit my lip, the taste of anticipation mingling with uncertainty. I yearned to understand what he was going through, why he was changing. All I knew was that my desire for him remained, unwavering, in any form he took. With a heavy sigh, I took a step back, the physical distance between us suddenly feeling insurmountable.

"I don't understand any of this, Noir," I admitted, my voice tinged with frustration. "I don't know what's happening to you or why, but I'm here for you, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

The air around us seemed charged with unspoken emotions, like a storm waiting to break.

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and... something else. Something that made my heart ache.

The dim room was filled with a soft, hazy glow from the flickering candle on the table, casting dancing shadows across his face. I reached out, my fingers lightly brushing against the rough stubble on his jaw, feeling the slight rasp against my skin.

A gentle shiver ran through his body, and his gaze dropped to the warmth of my touch. The faint scent of his cologne, a mix of musk and sandalwood, lingered in the air.

"I trust you, Noir. Whatever you need to do, I'll be here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, his chest rising and falling with each breath. When he opened his eyes again, there was a hint of resignation in their depths, a silent understanding passing between us.

"I know, Lyra. And I appreciate that. More than you know." He leaned in, his forehead gently pressing against mine once more. "But this attraction between us has to end. Here and now."

My heart ached at his words. I didn't want it to end. I craved the comfort of his touch, the strength in his presence. But deep down, I knew he was right. So, with a voice trembling with emotion, I whispered, "Okay." Noir let out a trembling breath, his exhale a whisper in the dimly lit room. I could sense his relief, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As he stepped back, I was left with a sudden emptiness. His voice, rough with raw emotion, broke the silence. "Thank you," he murmured.

Our eyes met, and I could see the turmoil still raging within him. His gaze pierced through me, searching for answers that I couldn't provide. "I'm sorry, Lyra. For everything."

I reached out, my hand trembling slightly as it cupped his cheek. The memory of his lips on mine lingered, tempting me to lean in for another kiss. But I resisted, pulling back reluctantly.

Noir's eyes remained locked with mine, his expression a battlefield of conflicting emotions. "Now, please go," he husked, his voice low and throaty.

I swallowed hard, feeling a sudden pang of loss as I stepped back. "I'll... I'll see you tomorrow?" It sounded like such a stupid question, but I had to ask.

Noir nodded, his expression tight. "Yes. Tomorrow."

I wanted to say more, to try and reassure him, but I couldn't replace the words. Instead, I turned and walked away, feeling his eyes at my back for a few moments longer before it finally faded.

For endless moment's I wandered through the palace, before heading outside. The night air was cooler, a welcome reprieve from the sweltering heat of the day. The stars were out in force, twinkling like tiny diamonds against the velvet black sky. I breathed in deeply, trying to steady my racing thoughts and calm the ache in my chest.

I moved aimlessly through the garden, my mind replaying the events that had just transpired. I couldn't understand why Noir had pushed me away. He'd been so close, so... real. And now, in the harsh light of reality, he was once again the mysterious stranger I'd met so many years ago.

I stopped by a large oak tree, its branches heavy with sleeping leaves. The scent of roses wafted on the breeze, their thorns like tiny daggers ready to defend against any intruders.

I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of it all. Part of me wanted to give up, to accept that this was how things had to be. But another part of me, a stronger part, refused to let go so easily. There had to be something I could do, some way I could help him. I couldn't just give up on him.

I sighed heavily, rubbing my arms as if to warm myself against the chill that had settled into my bones. "Noir," I called out into the night, my voice barely audible over the rustle of the leaves. "Noir, I know you can hear me."

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There was no response, only the distant hoot of an owl and the rustle of the wind through the trees. "I promise, I won't give up."

"You should," was his quiet response.

I frowned, turning around. He was leaning casually against the tree, his arms crossed over his chest.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

Noir smiled, but there was no humor in it. "I mean that you should accept that this is the way things are. That you should let go and move on. For a moment back there in my room, I forgot what I am...what *you* are to me. No one can afford for me to forget again."

I stared at him, my heart heavy in my chest. "Don't do this, Noir. Please, don't push me away."

He met my gaze, his eyes flashing with a mix of regret and determination. "It's not a choice, Lyra.

It's how it *has* to be."