Project Angel Book 1: Awakenings
Love

Chapter 24

Enjeru

My mind is a mess after that little kiss in the garden. I don't know who I should have feelings for let alone what type. It also doesn’t help that Jake’s been a lot more intimate after that. It’s small things, but he always does it in front of Micah making me blush wildly out of embarrassment. Micah seems not to care making me question Angelique’s statement about him. If he loves me why is only Jake pursuing me? Why is he so cordial? Why do I care so much? I grit my teeth frustrated that my thoughts are just an endless circle of mess.

“Alice?”

She hums in response mostly focused on playing with her doll.

“How do you know if someone is right for you?”

“You’re in love.” she smiles softly.

She puts the doll down taking my hand.

“Love is tricky. It can make you do stupid very stupid things. But it makes you happier than you can imagine. Hold onto it tight. Don’t let it go unannounced as I did once in the past.”

“Alice what do you mean. You’re with Syaraon right?”

“Yes, but he came many years later. I wasn’t always a puppeteer. I was a normal human girl. And like most girls, I fell in love. His name was Nicholas. He had these beautiful grey eyes. We were good friends from childhood. Ever since I was little I knew I loved him, but I never had the courage to tell him. Time went by he got married, but the woman he thought he loved cheated on him. In a fit of despair, he hung himself. This was him.”

My jaw drops as I realize what happened.

“The doll the special one you showed me once. It’s him. . . ”

“Yes, I became a puppeteer so I could bring him back. I was just a young stupid girl, with a foolish wish. Back then I had no idea that being a puppeteer was or that you can’t bring back the dead without a catch. And now I can’t escape the repercussions of what I’ve done.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you make your first doll you must kill, and collect 500 souls. These souls are then woven into the thread needed to control the dolls. I thought they were needed to make Nicholas a new body and soul. So I murdered as many people as it took. I knew in my heart this was wrong, but I was blinded by love and grief. After I presented the souls to Mephistopheles, he gave me the power to bring him back, but only as a doll. I was furious, I had thought I’d done all that to bring Nicholas back from the dead. But that was not the final thing the prince of deceit had in store for me.”

“What else did he do?” I whisper.

“Have you ever wonder why I never take these gloves off?”

I shake my head no. She pulls one off exposing her strikingly pale skin.

“Hand me that flower.”

I do as she says handing her a fresh rose Jake had given me earlier.

It immediately crumbles into ash.

“Everything living I touch turns to ash.”

“But why? Why was that your price.”

“One can not love anything living if it always turns to ash. He said since I was so obsessed with the non-living I could only love nonliving things. So the only things that can have my love are my dolls I make. It’s a one-sided love. An empty love.”

“So you could never move on. You could never love anyone other than him, but even with his wife gone he can never love you since he’s dead.” I mumble.

“Exactly I was forever trapped in this one-sided love. Never to be loved by another human ever again.”

I can feel my heart swell with sadness. Some demons are very cruel while others are more sympathetic towards humans. Unfortunately for Alice, she dealt with Mephistopheles.

“That’s such a wicked trick, even for a demon. We know love as well as any human, but there are some of us who use love to prey on the weak.”

“It is fine Enjeru I’ve come to accept my fate. Things are a little easier with Syaoran around now.”

“But Syaoran he’s grabbed your arm when you’ve worn short sleeves dresses. And I’ve seen you two kiss.”

“I said no human, but I was able to replace love with an immortal who can’t be harmed by my touch.”

“Wait but how?

“A story for another day Enjeru and I think it is best Syaoran tells you. I don’t fully understand the magic behind our relationship if I’m being honest.”

“Now tell me about your love story.”

“There’s not much to tell I’m just unsure of who I should choose. On one hand, I’ve known one of them all my life, and the other I’ve known for very little time. But they both make me feel things I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to say since....nevermind.”

“No what is it.”

“Why is it when I look at you I see nothing. Everyone has a color to their soul. It changes as you change, but with you, I can see no color. As if your soul does not exist.”

“Once the darkness of your heart consumes you there is no way to reverse it.”

“Nothing is permanent. I should be an example of that.”

“For me things always are. Thank you for your help.”

“Enjeru. When you look at one of them I see color in you. It's a faint hue almost translucent, but its there. Though It is only when you’re with one of them. The one who brings back your soul is the one for you.”

“You see color? Then it must be red because bloodshed is all I know.”