Rules of Summer
: Chapter 20

“You’ve done this before,” said Bianca, gesturing to the platters of hanger steak in red wine sauce, bowls of broccoli and garlic, and dishes of corn on the cob that Erica had prepared and placed on the marble-topped island. “Everyone serves themselves from the platters. Just make sure that you’re on everyone’s left. And don’t spill,” she warned.

“Right,” Rory said, leaning against the counter to stretch. This morning’s ride had completely pulled her hamstring.

“I still don’t understand why they can’t come in here and serve themselves,” Fee said from the table, where she folded freshly washed table linens.

“Mrs. Rule wanted to be served at the table tonight,” Bianca said abruptly as she fingered a chain of rose quartz around her neck. “Did you want me to stop her?”

“It’s fine,” Rory said. “I’ll bring out the steak first.”

“I’ll help you,” Fee said. She gave Rory a sympathetic glance as she opened the door to the dining room. She’d been giving Rory a lot of those lately, ever since Connor had shown up with Julia that night several days ago. “Go get ’em,” she whispered as Rory walked into the dining room.

Rory smiled to herself. Only Fee seemed to grasp that acting like a servant tonight was the last thing she felt like doing.

She walked into the room and headed straight for Mrs. Rule at the head of the table. As Rory crouched down, almost crying out from muscle soreness, Isabel gave her a somber look. They hadn’t talked any more about what had happened at Red Horse Market, but they hadn’t had to—Rory knew that it had been on Isabel’s mind all day.

She leaned down next to Mrs. Rule and offered her the platter so she could serve herself with the tongs. The Rules seemed to be having a heated conversation. “But he doesn’t have any proof!” Mrs. Rule exclaimed. “How can he say that you’re in breach of contract when we haven’t started building yet?”

“He says that he knows our plans,” Mr. Rule said, buttering a roll. “No idea how he knows, but he knows.”

Rory stood up, moaning silently from the pain in her legs, and hobbled over to the next person at the table.

“Steak?” she whispered as she crouched.

Connor looked questioningly into her eyes, as if she’d asked him something very different. He picked up the tongs and slowly served himself from the platter.

“So he’s backing out or he’s threatening to sue?”

“It’s all a little unclear,” Mr. Rule said. “Let’s change the subject.”

Connor put down the tongs and looked again into Rory’s eyes. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“You’re welcome,” she said as briskly as possible, and then moved on to Julia, who made sure to take the smallest, leanest piece of steak on the plate.

“I have something to say,” Julia said, putting the tongs back on the platter without making eye contact with Rory. “Connor and I have been talking about next year. About me leaving Duke for USC. I’ve already done the application online,” she said proudly. “And I think I have a really good shot at transferring.”

“Wait,” Isabel said. “You’re gonna transfer to USC? For Connor?”

Rory stood up so quickly that the tongs almost slid off the platter and right onto the floor.

“Well, yeah,” Julia said, sounding a little sore. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“Yes, it is,” Isabel said. “It’s going across the country.”

Rory allowed herself a momentary glance at Connor. He seemed to have gone slightly pale.

“I didn’t know you’d done the application,” he said quickly, his eyes on Julia.

“I guess I forgot to tell you,” Julia said, taking another sip of water. “It all seems pretty straightforward. And my grades at Duke have been really good. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well, I think that’s a great idea,” Mrs. Rule said. “Connor would love the company.”

Rory left the room as soon as she could. She smacked the platter down on the counter with a loud thud.

“What’s wrong with you?” Erica asked her, as she spooned chocolate gelato into individual cups.

She clutched the edge of the counter. She couldn’t do this. Not tonight. “I don’t feel very well,” she said. “I think I’ll just go lie down.”

“I’ll bring out the dessert. When Bianca comes back in, I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks, Erica,” she murmured. “And I just want you to know, you’re doing an amazing job here.”

Erica’s stricken expression only deepened. “Do you know something I don’t?” she asked.

Rory shook her head. “No. Just wanted to give you a compliment.” She walked out into the hall. Only in this house would a compliment be seen as something suspicious.

She was so tired and sore that her legs felt as if they might buckle at any minute. She closed her door and lay down on the bed. She could still feel Flame underneath her, galloping around the ring in endless circles. That’s exactly what she was doing about Connor, she realized. Going in endless circles, torturing herself, when it was never, ever going to happen between them. Not when Julia was going to be transferring to his school, and Rory was the girl serving them their hanger steak. She lay there for what felt like an hour, until there was a knock on the door.

“Yes?” she asked, sitting up.

To her shock, Connor walked into the room. “Erica said you weren’t feeling well,” he said hastily. “Are you okay?”

His face was so full of concern and kindness that she knew exactly what she had to do. “Connor, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For all that stuff I said in the cabana. That I didn’t care about you, that I didn’t want a serious relationship, that it was just fun. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it at all. I was just scared of what your family would think. And what you would do. That you’d be really into this for a few weeks and then when you saw how much they disapproved, you’d decide you didn’t want me anymore.”

His face was so inscrutable and so emotionless that she instantly regretted what she’d said. “Rory,” he said slowly, his eyes on the floor. “I just want you to—”

“Connor? What are you doing in here?” Julia strode in. She looked from Connor to Rory and back at Connor again.

“Erica said Rory wasn’t feeling well,” he said. “So I just came to check on her.”

“Oh, you’re not feeling well?” Julia sat next to Rory on the bed and took her hand. “That’s awful. What’s wrong?”

Rory tried to think of something. “Nothing. I guess my stomach hurts.”

“Oh, poor thing,” Julia said, nodding. “Is it, you know, the runs?” she whispered, loudly enough for Connor to hear.

“No, I don’t think so,” Rory said firmly.

There was another knock on the door, and Mrs. Rule walked in. “Rory, are you all right?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” she sighed.

“It’s her stomach,” Julia said helpfully. “She might have diarrhea.”

“Ohhhh,” Mrs. Rule sighed. “Do you have any Kaopectate?”

“I don’t think so,” Rory said.

“Then maybe you might want to run over to the Rite Aid in Bridgehampton?” Mrs. Rule proposed. “We really could use some in the house.”

“Wait,” Connor said. “You’re going to make her go to the Rite Aid when she’s sick?”

“Well, it’s not like she needs to go to the hospital,” said Mrs. Rule in a pouty voice. “I’m sure she can drive. Rory, can you drive?”

“Leave her alone,” Connor said.

“What’s wrong with you?” Mrs. Rule asked sharply.

“I’m fine,” Rory said, getting to her feet. “I’m happy to go.” She’d never seen Connor and his mother disagree about anything before.

“See? She’s fine,” Mrs. Rule said to Connor. “Rory, while you’re there, if you could also pick up some Ricolas for me? I have such an itchy throat at night.”

Julia got up from the bed and tugged Connor’s arm. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s watch something in the screening room.”

“I’ll be there in a second,” he said.

“Come, Julia, have some gelato,” Mrs. Rule said, steering her out of the room. A few moments later, they were gone.

“I’m sorry about that,” Connor said when they were alone again. “Let me go instead.”

“It’s really okay,” she said, crossing the room to get her purse off the dresser. This is just what I was talking about, she wanted to say. We would never work out here.

“Then in that case, let me finish what I was saying,” she heard him say.

She looked at him in the mirror above the dresser. “What is it you want?” he asked.

She knew the smart thing to say, the safe thing to say. But she knew that this was her only moment to tell him the truth. She turned around to face him. “I don’t care if your mom sends me to Rite Aid to get her cough drops in the middle of the night,” she said. “I don’t care if I have to serve you guys at every single meal. I don’t care if I’m barred from the Georgica Club for life. It’s all worth it. If I can be with you.”

She saw something pass over his face but steeled herself to continue.

“And I know that you’re back with Julia and that she’s going to transfer to your school, and you guys are perfect together, and your mom is in love with her,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “And I know that I’m a complete mess when it comes to guys and I always have been.”

She walked up to him and stood right in front of him.

“But I just want to be with you.”

He stared at her for a long minute. From the look on his face, she could tell that he didn’t have anything to say. Her words hadn’t stirred anything in him, apparently. She wanted to cry.

“So… I guess I should get going,” she said, feeling slightly pathetic.

“Yeah,” he said.

She waited to see if there was anything he had left to say, but he still only looked at her with a hard stare.

“Okay. See you later, then.” She grabbed her purse and headed toward the back door.

She walked to the Prius, wondering how long she could possibly stay out, when she heard footsteps behind her. She wheeled around, hoping to see Connor. But it was Isabel, looking wild and out of breath. Her raffia clutch was in her hand. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“Bridgehampton.”

“Will you take me to Montauk?”

“Right now?” Rory asked.

Isabel stepped closer. In the moonlight, Rory could see the worry on her face. “I just heard from him. Finally. And his text was so weird. I think he’s going to break up with me.”

“Then why do you want to go see him?” Rory asked.

“Because I have to. Just take me there, okay?”

“Where’d you tell your mom you were going?”

“I said that I was going with you to the store and that maybe we’d stop to get some candy at Dylan’s on the way home.”

“But what happens when I come back by myself?” Rory asked.

“Rory, I don’t give a shit,” Isabel said. “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep… just take me there, okay? I need to be put out of my misery.”

So do I, Rory thought as they got in the car.