Six of Ruin (Heirs of Irenwell #1)
Chapter 21: Who We Are

My skin prickled with agitation as I stumbled out of the cabin. The sounds from the underground bar were gone, leaving nothing but silence of the forest.

Nickeltinker and Torvald remained inside and I couldn’t tell whether what I was feeling was envy or relief. Perhaps they’d be able to convince the mage.

The moment I walked out into the chilly night air, Danilo’s large steps reverberated through the ground.

“Where have you been? What has he done?” The knight immediately examined me, checking whether something was off. His piercing eyes searched my face and my body, looking for wounds.

I sighed, “I’m fine. He has an underground-”

My words stuck in my throat, like a huge piece of meat that wouldn’t pass through. A hoarse sound left my throat before I realised I literally could not speak of the place.

Rixen stepped out of the shadow, “You look like you’re choking.”

There was a spark of relief in his eyes though, like a storm calmed behind the yellow irises. Or I imagined it.

I cleared my throat, “He made us swear we wouldn’t tell anyone. I guess he didn’t trust our word enough.”

“You’re spelled?” Danilo took a step back, as if moving away from the plague.

But I was too agitated, too distraught to care about his fragile feelings.

“Apparently.” I pulled up the hem of my dress and walked away from the cabin.

“Then we must do something about it.” Danilo’s voice was sickeningly determined.

And perhaps it was the truth liquor, or the mage’s words, but I couldn’t be bothered to pretend right now.

“Let it go.” I said through my teeth, hoping he wouldn’t push.

But this was Danilo. Of course he would push.

“Your Grace,” his voice followed me, “we must replace a way to heal you from this spell. God knows what sort of consequences-”

“Will you shut up for once?” Rixen cut him off. “Irina, why aren’t you inside? What happened?”

I turned around on my heel, “I screwed up.”

Danilo’s eyes widened at the language, “Your Grace?”

“What happened?” Rixen’s eyes narrowed, as if he already suspected.

“Oh, you know.” I chuckled. “I told him that all of his reasons for not helping are stupid and pointless.”

“You are right.” Danilo straightened his back and nodded. “It is his duty to help mankind any way he can. And he’s failing us.”

“He owes us nothing.” Rixen shrugged. “If anything, we’re the ones who owe him.”

“Still.” I cut in. “He’s fighting a losing battle, trying to teach mankind a lesson. We never learn.”

“He owes us!” Danilo raised his voice, making me flinch. “His kind fought ours almost to extinction.”

“You came nowhere near extinction.” Rixen said through his teeth, but shook his head soon afterwards as if refusing to engage in an argument. “What are we going to do now?”

“Look, he asked for the truth. Right after he made us drink the truth liquor, which literally disabled me from lying.” My hands dropped by my sides. “He’s no fool. He knows who we are, knows what we want. If hearing the truth is enough to push him away, he’s a coward.”

Rixen’s eyes shimmered with interest.

It was the truth liquor, still flowing through my veins. My carefully created masks were temporarily gone and Rixen caught it. I was in no way capable of camouflaging myself right now, not even in front of Danilo.

“Your Grace,” Danilo muttered, his piercing eyes trying to read through my expression, “something is different about you.”

“It’s the truth liquor.” I said. “Or the fact that this trip is doomed and I’m never going to get rid of my-”

“I think the Princess has to be alone right now.” Rixen stopped me.

A chuckle fell off my lips, “I suppose the liquor doesn’t just make you tell the truth, it also makes you fine with the truth.”

“Well,” Rixen looked at me pointedly, “A sober Irina might have objections. And I’m more inclined to listen to her.”

Danilo’s gaze snapped back and forth between me and Rixen. He wasn’t in on the joke.

I sighed, “I would like to not talk about anything mage-related right now.”

“Understandable.” Danilo nodded. “We should sleep. Someone brought blankets, we can rest under the stars.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I do not want to-”

Be near you right now. I chocked on the words instead of spitting them right out and destroying any chance I might have with this man. But I couldn’t be near him, not when I was unable to lie, unable to hide behind the mask he preferred to real me.

“I want to be awake for a while longer.” I said instead.

“I can accompany you then.” Danilo said readily, but it was the exact opposite of what I wanted.

“That’s alright.” I smiled thinly, growing restless. “I will manage.”

“But I cannot possibly let you roam alone through these woods.” Danilo pressed.

I tried to swallow the truth that burned my tongue, but I couldn’t. The need to get away grew stronger, leaving me in the narrow space between blurting everything out in order to escape and patiently keeping it all in.

I blurted it out.

“Rixen will keep me company.”

Rixen, who has kept suspiciously quiet during this interaction, looked at me with wide eyes. Danilo shut up, confusion colouring his blue eyes. But he was a knight, and he was proud. So he simply nodded and bowed his head, a distant, cold gesture.

When he was far enough, Rixen spoke, “What was that?”

“What was what?” I grabbed the hem of my dress and began walking even further away from Danilo, afraid he would hear me in the quiet forest.

“Why would you...?” Rixen followed. “He wanted to talk to you in peace, without distractions. Why...?”

I felt a stir through the connection we shared and I was glad to see it back in place. My mind felt empty without him in the background.

“Danilo doesn’t know anything about me. If he replaces out now, our joint future might be at risk.” I headed in an unknown direction. “You know all my secrets, what’s the harm in learning a few more?”

“He won’t get over this easily.” Rixen caught up with me. “You hurt his ego.”

“Do you think I care about his ego?”

“Do you even care about him?”

I stopped in my tracks, bitter truth gripping my taste buds again, “I hardly know him.”

“Exactly.” Rixen said, his yellow eyes searching my face. “And he hardly knows you. Your relationship could use a little bit of truth.”

I stared at the gold flecks decorating his eyes, each one slightly sparkling with some old, shadowman trickery.

“I couldn’t feel you.” I said then, unable to stop myself. “You weren’t there with me and you’re always there.”

Rixen inhaled sharply, sending an unfamiliar shudder down my spine, “I guess it’s the same magic that forbids you from speaking about what you saw. I couldn’t see inside because I wasn’t invited. I thought you were dead for a moment.”

“Like you’d care.” I smirked. “You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Rixen lowered his voice. “I don’t even dislike you.”

“Even if I’m a lying, manipulative witch?” A scattered laugh fell off my lips. “That’s what the mage said, anyway.”

“Those are some of your best characteristics.” Rixen said and weirdly enough, it warmed my heart. “But you’re telling me the truth. Even if you hate me.”

I puffed, “I don’t even dislike you.”

Rixen’s lips thinned and his eyes sparked with something I haven’t yet seen, regret.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“About?” I glanced at the rock nearby and wanted to make myself comfortable, if only the moss covering it wasn’t so damn moist.

“Yelling at you.” Rixen took off the sleek, black jacket he had on and placed it on the rock. “When you saw the spider and almost got me killed.”

I eyed the jacket, “Aren’t you cold?”

“Rarely.” He shrugged. The sleeves of his black tunic lifted just enough to see the white scars decorating his arms. “I know this forest is way out of your comfort zone.”

I smiled despite myself and sat on his jacket, “I’m sorry for almost getting you killed.”

Rixen sat on the other rock and said nothing. His mind wasn’t blank, though. I could feel emotion rolling off him in waves, something was bothering him.

But we weren’t friends, we were merely two people stuck with a strange curse gluing us to one another. I had no right to pry.

“Fuck,” the laugh I let out was slightly unhinged, “I can see that something’s wrong and I want to ask but I also don’t want to pry and I swear to Goddess, this is the first time in my life I didn’t want to pry. What are you doing to me?”

I shut my mouth the moment my mind comprehended my words.

Rixen grinned, “That’s a damn strong truth liquor, isn’t it?”

Warmth slid down my spine, “What’s wrong?”

Rixen looked at the mud-covered ground, “Ace is right about me, you know? I am a rebel without a cause.”

“I don’t know about that.” I shrugged. “You tried to take over the throne when you were seventeen, that’s pretty determined.”

“Only because I wanted to get my father’s attention.” Rixen said and I felt the resentment through our bond. “How pathetic is that? That’s the biggest action I ever took and I only did it because I wanted him to know I existed.”

“You succeeded.”

“Oh, he knew I existed. He just didn’t want to know. It took me a while to figure that out.” Rixen clenched his fists and I wondered whether the truth liquor somehow rubbed off on him, too.

How strong was this damned connection?

“What happened then anyway?” I asked. “You got yourself quite a reputation.”

“I was a dumb kid.” Rixen said. “Begging for a father’s love. Something he was never capable of giving. And I thought if he only knew I was capable enough to dethrone him, he would eventually have to love me. After all, that’s what he valued. He values it in Danilo, but not me.”

“He could have killed you for staging a coup.” The shiver that coursed through my veins at the thought surprised me and confused me.

“By then, everyone knew I was his son.” Rixen said. “He would have looked bad if he had killed me. So, in order to please the masses, he pretended to forgive me. He pretended to care about me.”

“Father issues.” I grinned. “So attractive.”

“Anyway,” Rixen simply narrowed his eyes at my remark, “I dedicated myself to making him believe I’m incapable of anything, because I thought that way he wouldn’t see me coming one day. But it feels like I self-fulfilled my own prophesy and actually turned incapable of anything.”

His honesty almost left me speechless, “I keep playing the part of a clueless doll and sometimes I’m afraid I’ll turn into one.”

Rixen shook his head, “You’re too clever for that.”

“And you’re too clever to let your father determine your future.” I said in return.

Rixen looked at me with a twinge of interest in his yellow eyes, like he did not expect something so nice from me. I became aware of my words, as well. Suddenly, the cold, quiet forest turned warm, scorching even.

“Why are you here with me, Irina?”

I barely registered the words, but I answered readily, “I wanted to be with you.”

“Why is that?” All playfulness disappeared from Rixen’s voice.

“You know stuff about me.” I shrugged, relieved to be able to speak freely. “And sure, you tease me and make fun of me, but you’ve never judged me.”

“Well, you haven’t judged either, considering you’re a princess surrounded by thieves, murderers and bastards.” Rixen smiled.

I stood up and walked over to his rock, the night was too cold to rest.

“I would be a hypocrite if I judged.” I lowered my voice. “After all, I’m a huge whore.”

Rixen laughed out loud, truly laughed. The mere sound made me smile too. Satisfaction burst through me, pride, even.

“You’re not a whore, Irina.” Rixen shook his head. “Whores get paid.”

I gasped and slapped his shoulder. Fuck you!

Rixen stopped laughing and I pulled my hand away, realising what just happened.

“Did you just speak into my mind?” He asked.

“I think so.” My heart picked up the pace and I spread out my hand, ready to touch him again, “Can I...?”

Rixen nodded.

I grazed his knuckles with my fingers and spoke within my own mind.

Can you hear me?

Rixen nodded, his eyes turning wide. Can you hear me?

I let out a laugh and pulled my hand away, but Rixen grabbed my wrists and pulled me back, until I stumbled on the rock right next to him. And we were suddenly so very close, both physically and in our minds.

We can speak safely. His voice floated through my mind.

Do you think the mage can hear our thoughts? I spoke back.

Rixen shook his head. He’s an Earth Mage, they cannot enter thoughts.

Do you know what this means? Excitement flooded me. We can scheme in peace!

Rixen grinned like a happy child and we leaned against each other, thoughts travelling from our minds, intertwining in a hidden, forbidden place.

We didn’t scheme that night. Instead, we talked about life. He spoke of Orathia and the cold, but beautiful nights, illuminated by strange lights from the skies. I told him about Irenwell, midnight swims in the deep, warm lakes and munching on rich, plump fruits.

Then I told him about my family, about my mother’s paintings and her keen ability to know every time there was a boy in my room. Rixen told me about his mother and how she taught him about the shadowman culture.

Eventually, we talked about the world and all the undiscovered wonders, the myths and legends of dragons, sirens and strange peoples of the east and the west.

When morning came, fog lifted off the forest, darkness retracted back to its hiding spot and the dew sparkled on the surface of trees and leaves.

Woods of Loria came alive in front of us. Animals came out, rabbits and squirrels and tiny mice. Sunshine broke through the thick leaves, dyeing everything green.

Right as I was about to dose off on Rixen’s shoulder, shouts reached us.

We returned to the mage’s cabin, only to replace hungover Nickeltinker and Torvald leaving the wooden hut, yawning. Ace grabbed his walking stick, patted his warthog, Frank, on the head and hopped barefoot over the dry branches on the ground.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Let’s go.” The mage said. “I hear there’s a huge celebration held in our honour in Balr. That’s not something I want to miss.”

“Wait, you’re joining us?” Rixen asked.

Nickeltinker rubbed his bloodshot eyes, “After a couple of flagons of the truth liquor mixed with ale, old Ace and I came to an understanding.”

“I’ll help you.” Ace said. “For lots and lots of Irenwell silver. Beginning with one of your crowns.” He turned to me.

Danilo walked over with a frown, “Are you telling me that the goblin managed to convince you?”

“Do not underestimate the power of a little man with a huge mouth!” Nickeltinker shouted. “Uh, that came out wrong. I think I’m still drunk.”

“Let’s go, people!” Ace walked to the trees. “If I miss a feast because of your whining, I will let Liu Raj drown you in their lake!”

“What?” I mumbled.

“Come on.” Rixen let out a laugh. “Seems like we’ve got ourselves an annoying, high-maintenance mage.”

“He’s barefoot.” I mumbled and pointed at the mage’s feet. “No more complaining about my shoes.”

Rixen chuckled, his fingers grazing against the back of my hand. When you learn how to use magic, you can walk barefoot too.

The tingling in my veins stopped as my eyes met Danilo’s. The deep frown etched between his brows let me know I was one step closer to ruining my future as Queen of Bastia.

And the turmoil began.