Six of Ruin (Heirs of Irenwell #1)
Chapter 38: The Hand of Time

My heart pounded against my ribcage, mimicking the strange, melodious music, as Rixen and I approached the tall, giant fort, our arms locked. It appeared even larger now, while I stood underneath the towers and stared up into the peaks disappearing behind the clouds.

However, the height of the towers was nothing compared to the mountains surrounding it. They looked like giant, stone barriers. Despite potentially risking our lives by passing through Aradda, I was glad we didn’t have to go over the mountains.

The spirits moved past us, walking with more confidence and assurance. Their presence opened up a sixth sense in me, and beside seeing their haunting exteriors and hearing their deep, soothing voices, I now felt their essence.

Warmth and cold enveloped me at the same time, sending shivers down my spine, but coating my forehead in sweat. A musky, sultry, sensuous smell travelled through the air. I couldn’t quite pinpoint where I’ve sensed it before.

I glanced at the shadowman by my side. His expression revealed nothing; his lips remained tightly clasped, his yellow gaze focused and alert, and his head high. He looked good in his pitch-black tunic contrasting his white skin, which now appeared even whiter.

Judging by the prickling fear he sent down our connection, I realised he wasn’t aware how much he fit in here. The haunting, silver-blue moonlight hues reflecting off the grey-white cliffs emphasized his otherworldly beauty. He belonged here, in a faraway, magical land.

You look like this place. I sent down the bond.

A smile emerged on his lip, but he didn’t look at me. My ancestors ruled it for centuries. I have more in common with spirits than I do with humans.

I gazed over the attendees and subconsciously compared them to Rixen. All kinds of creatures soundlessly walked to the large, iron gates, their feet barely touching the ground. Exquisite eyes, of all colours imaginable, decorated beautiful, ghostly faces like gems protruding out of white stone. They were all eerily symmetrical. Seeing such perfection here caused awe, but in any other place they would stand out in a frightening, threatening way.

There was more humanity in Rixen, his presence was more tangible, corporeal, yet right here, right now, he felt like a dream I would wake up from.

Rixen breathed in, his thoughts emerging in my head, During the Shadow Rule, balls like this were held in Aradda every month. Of all the shadowman traditions, the summer and winter solstice celebrations are the ones they kept.

It was a strange thing, to walk across the bridge of a once great kingdom, the memory of its existence kept alive only through this seemingly insignificant tradition.

Why do they keep doing it?

Rixen shrugged, The same reason why the Waiting Tower still exists. To preserve a memory.

The iron gates grew larger as we walked and my heartbeat quickened. I was afraid. Not just because our friends were now passing through the tunnels of these imposing towers, but because of what waited inside.

The sights and smells and sounds intertwined into one specific, yet complex sense. Whatever waited on the other side of the gates was something I’d only see once in my life. Everyone I knew, all the servants, squires, lords and kings, would never have this opportunity.

It made me want to indulge in a way I had never felt before.

Irina, be careful. Rixen’s mind clashed into mine. This is a strange place and the summer solstice ball isn’t just a ball.

A lump formed in my throat, not a lump of fear but a lump of excitement. I’ve already felt detached from myself, after what had happened in Balr with our ships, and now I felt the void between me and myself deepen.

What am I feeling? We found ourselves at the door, twice larger than myself, wide open and inviting.

Music came from inside, eerie yet lulling, it called forth everything primal within me, promising fulfilment of unimaginable scope.

Rixen smiled as we entered the ballroom, “You’re feeling what they’re feeling.”

The room opened up in front of me, impossibly large, illuminated by moonlight from floor to ceiling, which I could barely see. Live rock, white and shimmering, covered everything. There seemed to be no source of light, yet everything gleamed. The stone moved, leaned, retracted. There were no chairs or tables, only energy, visible, tangible energy. It glided across the sparkling floor, enveloped itself around the spirits, became one with them.

The only addition to the room seemed to be the stone podium on the opposite side. Three mesmerizing creatures stood there, producing music with nothing but their voices. Their skin cracked with energy, with sounds. Each note was a different colour.

And the creatures... the creatures danced up in the air, following a pattern. Everything moved, the air, the music, the attendees; rhythmically, soothingly.

They moved effortlessly, like every particle, every fibre of their soul knew the music.

I breathed in deeply, feeling the sting of something bitter, like poison, on my tongue. Rixen grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, to the middle of the room. Bodies mingled around us, above us, passing by without friction.

“What are they feeling?” I asked as the shadowman placed his palm on my waist and pulled me closer, until I could see my bewildered expression in his eyes. Tentatively, I put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his open palm. My skin heated up under his touch.

Rixen leaned and whispered in my ear, his breath warm on my cheek, “They know no time, which means they solely exist in the now. They’re infinite.”

Silence, in the form of a black hue flew from the musicians through the room. For a moment, everything stopped moving, the air, the music, the attendees. My heartbeat accelerated.

My past life ceased existing, all the problems, troubles and dilemmas crashed into nothing, and everything I was hung by the next melody.

Panic sparked through my veins, “How do I dance?”

I stared over Rixen’s shoulder at the white-haired, silver-skinned spirit who appeared at the podium. She offered a smile to the crowd, gentle and loving.

Rixen held me tighter, and I was now aware of his body’s proximity, his palm on my waist and the way his hand fit mine. He grazed the back of my hand with his thumb and the reaction he provoked in my gut seemed too much too soon.

“I’ve got you.”

My nerve-endings prickled with anticipation. The silver woman at the podium began to sing. A resonant, deep, sombre sound left her lips, colouring the ballroom deep, dark blue. Nobody moved, as if allowing this moment of sadness, mourning, longing.

They knew no time. Everything happened here and now; their history, memories, experiences. I breathed in, my eyes wide and my soul filled to the brim with strange, inhuman emotions.

The woman’s eulogy ended, the light died out, blackness settled over us.

During this silence, Rixen leaned forward, his lips brushing my earlobe, “You look mesmerizing tonight.”

Synchronically, the woman’s voice rang through the room, the tempo quickened, silver gleams burst around us, erasing the blackness, and we began to move. My feet glided across the stone floor on their own.

Music enveloped me, causing warmth, comfort and content. Rixen led us through the ballroom, we danced through the colours and attendees. One step back, one step to the side, a pause, one step forward. Colours changed with each note, changing the course of the living organism which was the ballroom. Spirits danced all around us, but they never touched us, almost like they knew precisely which way we would go.

The silver woman sang in a foreign, ancient language, the likes of which I’ve never heard before and doubted I ever would again. Still, I felt almost like I understood it, like some forgotten, visceral part of my soul danced to this song before, when I was nothing but a part of infinity.

“What is she saying?” I whispered in Rixen’s ear, too aware of the proximity of his lips and his strong body against mine. I yearned to touch him, to feel him.

Most of all, I yearned to stay here forever, in the nothingness of this ballroom, where even the stone felt close to the very core of my existence.

Rixen’s lips brushed my neck, “I adore you.”

My breath caught in my throat. A wave of sparkling white and purple swept the room along with the high, melodious note, causing chills all over my body. One step forward, one to the side, a pause, one backward, one to the side...

“This is the most we’ve been alone during this journey.” I said through the music, becoming aware of the pink sparks that left my lips.

“Ironic.” Rixen glanced into my eyes; wistfulness shining through the gold of his irises.

How strange, I thought, to be so close and so distant at the same time. The music slowed down and another flood of dark blue enveloped the ballroom.

The dark, longing colours sobered me up for a moment, causing a sudden outburst of fear. Nothing could ever compare, not to this mystical, unearthly, woeful experience.

“I feel you.” Rixen said, making me look at him. “You’re sad. Why are you sad?”

My emotions intertwined with his, and just like music became one with the spirits, Rixen became one with me. Anticipation strained between us, nearly cracking.

“Because this would end.” I admitted. “And we’d go back to our lives, wherever that is.”

Ephemeral, the word echoed through my skull. This moment was vivid and tangible now, but it would fade, just like dreams faded.

“Stay with me.” Rixen’s words surprised me.

My heart trashed against my chest, singing to me in the rhythm of music. The woman’s song gained meaning, a sort of happy longing, heart-breaking in the most beautiful way. Colours danced before my eyes, golden and red, inviting me to accept, telling me there was no better choice in the whole wide world.

“Why?” I breathed out, truth dancing on the tip of my tongue, on the tip of my mind.

Rixen smiled and rolled his eyes slightly, like he couldn’t believe I pretended not to know. But when he finally spoke, I swore I didn’t.

“Because I’m in love with you, Maiden of Irenwell.”

My hands dropped from his shoulders, ignoring the pull of music. The connection between us broke, because there was nothing to travel through it, everything was out in the open.

Surrounded by sparkling, golden tones which matched the scared, but determined glint in his eyes, his hands by his sides and his defences down, offering the bare truth, he was the most mesmerizing man I’ve ever seen.

“Maybe this is the biggest mistake I’ll ever make.” Rixen shrugged. “Maybe I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, but I’m in love with you.”

Our lips met through the breathing colours, crashing against one another with the rhythm. I threw my hands around his neck and he pulled me closer until we ceased existing as separate entities.

And like a child tasting sugar for the first time, I knew deep down nothing could ever compare. His lips quickly became like a drug I couldn’t get enough of. We kissed through the music. He tasted like ripe, bitter-sweet poison. The desire to devour him overwhelmed me, to take him with me wherever I went, to share with him every thought and every experience, no matter how dark or twisted.

Rixen’s hands entangled in my hair, his teeth scratched my lips and my heart melted. I would blame the atmosphere later on, I would blame the strange, alluring Spirit territory, because what I felt was the strongest, most terrifying thing one could feel.

There was nothing more baring than completely belonging to another person.

Rixen let me go after a while, once music turned too fast to stand in the middle of the room. Lips swollen, hair ruined and heart broken, I stepped away.

Rixen understood my feelings before I said anything, “It’s time to go.”

“No.” Pain burst through my chest. “Not yet.”

Rixen closed his eyes, a deep, scattered breath leaving his lips, lips I’ve been kissing moments ago, “It’s time to go.”

Swallowing the pain, I nodded. Our friends would hopefully be waiting on the other side. We couldn’t be late.

Rixen locked his arm with mine and causally led me away from the ballroom, careful not to attract attention. Music slowed down once more, blue, sorrowful light matching the colour of my soul.

I wasn’t quite there to notice the way we were heading. Moments mashed together, past, present and future, and made it impossible to distinguish reality. Feelings of infinity disappeared. Once more, there was more than the now. Past and future reappeared, pulling with them all the problems, troubles and dilemmas.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks as I followed the shadowman through the dark hallways. Even though he was right beside me, he’s already begun feeling like a dream.

Perhaps one day I would be telling my grandchildren about him, the alluring shadowman I met when I stepped away from everything I knew until then.

The Gyorg seer’s words from the Bordering City came to mind, reappearing like frightening foreboding.

Before your journey ends, everything you’ve ever known will crumble and shatter to its most basic elements.

And it did.