The Billionaire’s Big Bold Weakness: A Brother’s Best Friend/BBW Romance (The Billionaires’ Club)
The Billionaire’s Big Bold Weakness: Chapter 5

‘I missed the hell out of you, rabbit,’ Jax says, running his hands through my hair. We’re laying on the couch, cuddled up together. He keeps kissing me, almost as if he’s got thousands of them stored up inside and they’re all bursting free now. I don’t mind. Kissing him is already my favorite thing to do.

Ruby is curled up on my hip, deep in a food coma.

‘I missed you too,’ I confess, guilt twisting through me. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you like I should have been.’ I know he’s not mad at me for it, but I still feel badly. I was trying so hard to save myself pain that I hurt us both in the process. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do.

‘Shh,’ he croons, pressing his lips to my forehead. ‘Don’t be sorry. Just be here with me now.’

‘Okay,’ I agree. There’s nowhere else I want to be. He’s so warm, so strong. I don’t know how it’s possible to feel so much at once, but with him, I always feel like a powder keg of emotion just waiting to explode. I love him in a way that’s permanent, immutable.

If I never saw him again, fifty years from now, I would still love him exactly the same. He’s a piece of me, like a part of my soul resides inside him. I don’t know if soulmates are real or if it’s just wishful thinking on the part of humanity but lying here in his arms…I’m not sure there is another word for what he is to me.

Knowing he feels the same is…wow. There’s no word for that either. It’s Christmas morning and Halloween night and my birthday and heaven and nirvana all at the same time. I’ve had exactly two big dreams in my life. The first was to become a psychologist and to help kids in school the way the psychologist at my school helped me after my dad died when I was eight. The second was this. Jax. Us.

‘How many kids do you want?’

‘Jax,’ I whisper, fidgeting.

‘No, rabbit. Listen to me,’ he says, and then waits until I settle down to speak again. ‘I said a lot of shit that night because I was angry and hurting. Giving you babies wouldn’t be a hardship in any way.’

‘You don’t want them though.’

‘I’m worried I’ll fuck it up,’ he admits, his voice soft. ‘I didn’t exactly have model parents. My mom let me believe my father was dead. My…Concord let me believe the same thing. The thought of fucking up a kid’s life scares the hell out of me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn to be a parent.’

‘I think you’d be an amazing dad,’ I whisper. ‘You’re such a good man.’

He snorts.

‘I’m serious, Jax,’ I say, emphatic. ‘You’re going to be an incredible father. Any kid would be lucky to have you, and not because you’re a billionaire but because you know what it’s like not to feel love. You would never let your kids go through the same things you went through.’

‘I’d fight through hell to keep your babies safe.’

‘I know you would.’

He touches my belly. ‘The thought of getting you pregnant is a hell of a turn on, baby. Seeing you grow with my baby, knowing I’m the one who put it in you…fuck,’ he growls, making me shiver.

I bite my lip to keep from moaning because I like the sound of that too. A lot. I think he knows it because his lips quirk up into a little grin.

‘I want to take you out tomorrow,’ he says, bumping my forehead with his. ‘What time is your last class?’

‘I’m out of class at noon, but I work until six,’ I murmur. ‘They pulled extra staff for the event tonight, so our schedules are all messed up this week.’

‘I’ll pick you up when you get off then.’

My stomach flutters with a combination of excitement and nerves. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’

He growls his displeasure with my question. I swear, he says so much without even saying a word. He doesn’t need them. His sounds tell you exactly what he thinks about any given subject, just the way my nose does for me.

‘Settle down, growly pants,’ I mumble even though I think it’s kind of sweet that he’s all grumpy over me. No one has ever gotten grumpy over me before now. Well…maybe that’s not true because Jax has been grumpy a lot. Especially anytime anyone brought up the subject of me dating. Not that I ever wanted to date anyone other than him. I always thought he was just being protective. I guess not. ‘I just mean that you’re still my boss. Being discreet until my last day probably wouldn’t hurt.’

‘We’re not hiding.’

‘I’m not saying we should hide,’ I promise. ‘I’m just saying maybe we shouldn’t flaunt it at work so it doesn’t become a big thing with everyone.’

‘I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about us, baby. You’re mine.’

‘Well, I care,’ I huff. ‘I don’t want everyone to think I’m trying to sleep my way to the top.’ They’ll probably think it anyway, but I’d rather not give them fodder. Especially if it means people thinking he’s preying on me or something. It may be the twenty-first century, but power dynamics are still a sensitive subject. Too many men use their positions to get what they want from women who don’t think they have another choice. This isn’t at all like that, and I don’t want anyone thinking it is.

‘Baby,’ Jax says, chuckling. ‘You’re leaving for grad school and a future in education. No one is going to think you’re trying to sleep your way to the top of the company you’re leaving in a matter of months.’

‘They might.’

‘If you’re truly worried about your reputation, I’ll agree to pick you up here,’ he says, tipping my chin up until our eyes meet. His are so somber, so serious. There are gold flecks in them. ‘But if you’re worried about my reputation, don’t be. I didn’t ask for this job, rabbit. I didn’t ask to be a billionaire or to take over Concord’s company. And I’m not going to live my life afraid of the opinions of people who don’t give two shits about me.’

‘People care about you, Jax,’ I whisper, reaching up to touch his bottom lip.

‘Not these people,’ he mutters, scowling. ‘They’re sycophants and gold diggers. The only thing they care about is the bottom line and currying favor. Trust me, Jessa. I don’t care what they think about me. And if you’re worried what they’ll think about us, I’m going to spank your ass. They aren’t worth the thought you’re giving them.’

‘You really don’t like them much.’

‘I like some of them. Several of them.’ His brows furrow. ‘Five or six of them.’

I laugh quietly. ‘Only five or six?’

‘Maybe less,’ he admits. ‘Point is, what they think hasn’t ever had a place in your life or mine before and it doesn’t have a place now. What happens between us is between us. They can choke on a bag of dicks for all I care. You are not less than they are, Jessa. I won’t have you thinking you are.’

‘Okay,’ I agree quietly. He’s got enough to worry about. I don’t want him stressing out about this too. If he doesn’t care what they think, I’m not going to care either. We’ve already lost too much time worrying about what everyone else will think.

Crap.

‘What about Cyrus?’ I ask, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. ‘You need your friends right now. I’m so worried he’s going to be pissed about us.’

‘He probably will be,’ Jax agrees, pulling me closer. ‘But he loves you. Hell, he loves my crabby ass too. He’ll get over it sooner or later.’

‘I don’t want to hide it from him.’

‘Good because we aren’t hiding it from him. My family had enough secrets,’ he says, his voice soft, strained. ‘I’ll be damned if we let them poison your family too.’

My heart aches in protest of his pain. I wrap my arms around him the best I can, trying to comfort him. ‘Your dad didn’t deserve you. If you want to burn his company down, I’ll bring the matches.’

‘Yeah?’ He chuckles at me. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘I’m proud of you.’

He smiles at me.

‘I’m serious! You’re pretty amazing at this being in charge thing.’

‘Yeah?’ He cocks a brow at me, smirking. ‘Glad you think so, baby. Because once I get you out of those clothes, I plan to be real bossy.’

‘Promises, promises.’

He smacks me on the ass, making me squeal.

Ruby doesn’t even budge. I swear, she could sleep through the apocalypse.

‘Behave,’ Jax growls. ‘I’m already trying real hard not to take you to your room and fuck you into next week.’

‘Oh. Why?’

‘Because that benefit won’t last forever. Cyrus and Gwen will be home sooner or later.’ He grimaces. ‘The way they argue, I’m guessing sooner rather than later.’

‘They love each other,’ I murmur.

‘I know. They don’t.’

‘They know, they’re just not done fighting it yet.’ When they do finally give up, I think they’ll be happy together. They’re a lot alike even if they hate to admit it. They both fight hard and love harder.

‘Are you done fighting it, rabbit?’

‘So done,’ I whisper, tracing his bottom lip again.

‘Good. Spend the night with me tomorrow.’

‘You want me to spend the night with you?’ I frown as a thought occurs. ‘I don’t even know where you live now.’

‘Agree to spend the night with me and I’ll show you,’ he says, nipping the pad of my finger. ‘I’ll share the covers with you.’

‘I won’t share,’ I warn him. ‘I like stealing all of them.’

‘You’ll share with me.’

‘I love you, but I’ll still leave you to freeze to death while I burrito my way through the night.’

‘Jesus,’ he whispers, his voice gritty. ‘Say that again.’

My brows furrow in confusion and then I realize what I said. ‘Oh, um…’

Before I can even blink, Ruby is on the floor beside me and I’m on my back with a very pissed off, growly man looming over me. I gape up at him, shocked that someone as big as him can move as fast as he can.

‘Don’t you even think about taking it back,’ he growls at me, the words rumbling from his lips like thunder in the distance. The flash of vulnerability in his mocha eyes wrecks me.

‘Never,’ I whisper. ‘I love you, Jax. I’ve always loved you.’

‘Jesus,’ he whispers again, his head tipping forward. The look on his face sends tears into my eyes. It’s so joyous, so unbelieving. That breaks my heart and heals it in the same breath. That he doesn’t know how deserving he is of love is not okay. That having my love makes him so happy makes me love him even more.

‘I love you,’ I whisper again. And then again.

He growls again, and then his lips are on mine. He kisses me hard and deep and long. Until we’re both gasping for breath. Somehow, my legs end up around his waist. His hand ends up inside my shirt.

My second orgasm of the night is just as good as the first one…better, even.

‘From the moment I met you, rabbit,’ he whispers when it’s over, tucking me carefully back into his arms. ‘That’s how long I’ve loved you.’

‘Jax,’ I whisper, listening to the steady thrum of his heart beneath my ear.

‘It’s true.’

I fall asleep with a smile on my face and his arms wrapped securely around me.

‘Go home, Cyrus!’ Gwen yells sometime later, pulling me awake.

Ruby growls once and then starts barking.

I open my eyes, disoriented. I’m not in my room. I’m still on the couch. Actually, I’m on top of Jax. Ruby is curled up beside his head, barking like a killer again. I think she’s still too full to move because she’s not making any effort to get to the door. There’s no way Jax is comfortable with his neck craned to the side to give her room.

Gwen is leaning against the front door as if she’s using her weight to keep Cyrus from bursting through it. The way he’s pounding on it, I think he intends to break it down.

‘Gwen?’

Jax wraps his arms around me, sitting straight up. He pulls me up with him.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, instantly worried Cyrus knows Jax is here and is pissed about it. I think Jax is worried about the same thing because his body is rigid against mine and he’s holding me like he thinks Cyrus is going to come through the door and rip me out of his arms at any moment.

‘Nothing,’ Gwen says…sniffles.

She’s crying?

What in the world?

I wiggle free of Jax’s embrace and then rush across the room to her, not even stopping long enough to grab my glasses. My eyes are blurry without them, but not so bad I can’t read the clock on the Blu-ray player. It’s a little after one in the morning. Gwen and Cyrus were out way later than I expected. I figured they would have been home a few hours ago.

‘Gwen, what happened?’ I ask.

She’s been crying a lot from the looks of it. Her mascara is smeared beneath her eyes and her nose is red. Wet tracks down her cheeks tell the story of how her night went. Her red dress is wrinkled. Somehow, she still manages to look completely gorgeous.

‘Your brother is an asshole,’ she says. And then her bottom lip quivers. ‘I’m never talking to him again.’

Uh-oh.

‘What did–?’

‘Open the door, Gwen!’ Cyrus growls from the other side of it. Something thumps against it hard, making Gwen jump. ‘Please, princess. Let me in.’

‘Can you please make him leave?’ she pleads with me. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she’s on the verge of having a full-on breakdown.

‘I’ll get him out of here,’ Jax says from behind me.

I didn’t even realize he’d followed me across the room.

He catches my eye and gives me a little nod, silently letting me know that he’s got it handled.

‘Gwen, princess. Please,’ Cyrus pleads, his voice strained. Whatever happened, I think he’s hurting too. I’ve never heard him sound so broken.

‘Thank you,’ I mouth to Jax, wrapping an arm around Gwen when she starts crying harder.

‘I’ll call you in the morning, rabbit.’

‘Okay. Bye, Jax.’

‘Bye, baby.’

He waits until I’ve got Gwen out of the way before he unlocks the door and steps out. Cyrus has given up trying to beat the door down and is standing on the balcony, his back to the door. He’s gripping onto the railing hard enough that his knuckles are white. His head hangs low, his stance defeated. He looks wrecked.

Jeez. What the heck happened tonight?

Jax pulls the door closed behind him. I quickly flip the lock to keep Cyrus out. Whatever went down between him and Gwen, I don’t think he needs to come in here tonight. And I’m really worried that he’s going to flip about Jax being here so late.

One problem at a time.

I pull Gwen across the room to the couch, gently pushing until she flops backward onto it. She covers her face with her hands, sobbing like her heart is breaking. It breaks mine for her. I’ve known Gwen for a long time, and I have never seen her cry like this. I’ve never seen Cyrus so upset before either.

‘What happened, honey?’ I ask, sinking down beside her to wrap my arm around her.

‘I’m in l-love with your b-b-brother,’ she sobs.

‘I know.’ I rub her back, trying to comfort her.

‘He a-asked me not to g-go to N-N-Nashville.’

‘Oh,’ I whisper, cringing.

She pulls away, sucking in a deep breath. Her shoulders still shake, but she manages to pull herself together enough to talk. I reach over and pluck several tissues out of the box before holding them out to her.

‘He s-still doesn’t think I’m good enough to m-make it,’ she says, wiping at her eyes. ‘He t-thinks I should j-just stay here and m-marry him and g-give up on my dreams.’

Oh, Cyrus. You big, idiotic man.

Gwen has clung to her dream with both hands for the entire time I’ve known her. She wants it so bad, and she’s good enough to make it too. She has an incredible voice. I know Cyrus thinks so too. He’s always believed in her. But the thought of her leaving him behind makes him crazy jealous…and apparently crazy jealous Cyrus is an idiot.

‘He doesn’t think that, Gwen,’ I whisper. ‘He’s afraid of losing you.’

She snorts.

‘I’m serious,’ I say. ‘You’re beautiful and talented and everyone loves you. He’s afraid you’ll make it big and forget about him.’

‘You s-support the people you l-love,’ she says…and she has me there. She knows it too. She gives me a sad smile that breaks my heart. ‘I guess the two of us just aren’t compatible either.’ Her bottom lip quivers. ‘Had he asked me a year ago, or a year before that, or the year before that, I would have given it up for him. I would have stayed here.’

‘Gwen,’ I whisper.

‘He didn’t want me then. He only wants me now because I’m leaving.’ She sucks in another deep breath, popping her eyes open wide. ‘At least I know now, right?’

I don’t think she expects an answer. I’m not sure I have one for her anyway. My brother, as much as I love him, is an idiot. He should have claimed Gwen a long time ago. Now, he has a lot of fixing to do if he ever wants to earn her forgiveness.

‘I don’t want to talk about your brother anymore,’ she mumbles. ‘Jax was here. What happened?’ She narrows her eyes, taking in my ripped shirt and messy hair. ‘Oh my gosh. Did you two have sex?’

‘What? No.’ I squirm, my cheeks turning pink.

‘You totally did!’

‘We didn’t…exactly.’

‘Tell me all the details. Wait!’ she cries before I can even open my mouth. ‘Let me get out of this dress and then get a giant bowl of ice cream, and then you can tell me all the details. I need to be comfortable for this.’

‘I’ll get your ice cream.’

‘There’s a reason I love you.’

‘Yeah, because I get you food.’

‘No, because you never push,’ she says, completely serious. ‘You let me badger you all the time about Jax, but you never push for me to talk about Cyrus or my mom or any of that crap. You just let me be me and never judge me for being crazy.’

‘That’s because I love you.’

‘I love you too, JJ. And I’m really happy for you and Jax. You deserve to be happy.’

‘So do you,’ I whisper.

‘Not according to your idiot brother.’

‘Men are stupid. Except for Jax.’

She gives me a watery smile. ‘He’s a little stupid too.’

‘So am I,’ I admit. But not anymore.

Tomorrow, I’m telling Cyrus about me and Jax. And if he doesn’t like it, well…he’ll just have to replace a way to get over it. Because I’m done running from Jax. He’s mine now, and I’m not giving him up without a fight.