The Blacklisted Rogue
Chapter 27

Elijah POV "Hey, wait up."

I recognized Joe's voice immediately and I sighed before I turned around to see Joe jogging up to me.

We hadn't spoken since I ran out of the sparring circle yesterday and my stomach was in knots the whole morning at the thought of facing him again.

Yes, I was embarrassed about what happened. I was sure that Joe would start asking questions and I didn't know what to tell him. I barely understood my own feelings about my father, but it felt impossible to form those feelings into words and express them to someone else.

My thoughts were interrupted by a gasp and I realized that Joe was staring at my mark.

"Congratulations man, I'm really happy to see that you and Sally finally got around to mark each other." He winked.

"Yeah, thanks." I said and awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. "Everything has been so hectic since we met so we never really got around to the whole mating part until we came here."

"I'm happy to hear that you feel safe enough to finally start to enjoy the mate bond." Joe shrugged. "You're going to train today?"

I nodded and we started walking.

"Um, I want to ask you... about yesterday... I understand if you don't feel comfortable talking about it so... you don't have to feel coerced into talking about it if you don't want to... I just want to know... Are you okay?" Joe rambled. I shrugged.

"Yeah, sorry about that. It was just a lot to process. I'm fine though."

Joe smiled.

"I get that. You know, I've been thinking about how you said that your wolf is weak."

"Yes?"

"Would it be okay if I saw your wolf? I might have an idea that if your wolf was weakened by abuse, then maybe there might be a way to strengthen it again." My eyes lit up.

"Do you think that it's possible?"

Joe shrugged.

"I don't know. I need to see your wolf for that."

I agreed to show him my wolf and we continued to the training grounds where several warriors already were sparring. I tensed up and instantly felt anxious? Would I have to shift in front of them?

Noticing my discomfort, Joe nudged me in the direction of the forest.

"We can go in there if you'd prefer to shift in private."

I nodded quickly.

We walked into the forest in silence until Joe stopped at a clearing.

"This should do." He stated. "You ready?"

I nodded, feeling nervous.

Joe turned around so that I could undress and shift.

When I was finished, Joe turned around again.

In a way, this all reminded me of my first shift, and I found myself unable to look at Joe, just waiting for him to start laughing at me.

FLASHBACK

It was the first full moon after I turned 18 and I was going to shift for the first time. My stomach was doing somersaults to the point where I felt nauseous. I stood in a line along with two other boys and one girl. We were all about to shift, and the rest looked just as nervous as I felt.

Alpha Richard stepped forward and gestured for the first boy to shift.

One by one, they all shifted until I was the only one left. Their screams of pain when their bones rearranged shook me to my core.

I felt pressured. My father had trained me to withstand a great deal of pain, so I was expected to go through my first shift like it was nothing. This far, I had failed my father many times, and I could just hope that when I became Gamma I could do better. "Now it's time for our future Gamma to shift." Alpha Richard exclaimed.

The crowd around me cheered. I guess I should have been encouraged by that, but it was quite the opposite. I just wanted to shift on my own, where no one could see it.

I had no idea why I felt that way, but I had a bad feeling about this.

"Go ahead Ampel err- Elijah." Alpha Richard said.

A few people laughed, but I ignored them and focused on my wolf.

I felt a burning sensation in my spine and my skin started to itch. My fangs protruded and my claws split my nails open.

I gritted my teeth to stop myself from screaming. I was supposed to be Gamma, I couldn't whine about something as simple as shifting.

Going down on all fours, I completed the shift without saying a word.

When the pain subsided I raised my head and looked around me.

I was met with stunned faces and I heard Alpha Richard burst out laughing.

"That was pathetic." He wheezed. "Look at the mutt!"

I looked down at myself. I was small and skinny. I had barely any muscle on my body and my legs were so narrow that I wondered how I was still standing on them.

"Are you expecting me to have you protect my Luna?" Alpha Richard sneered. "That's never going to happen!"

I looked over at my father, silently asking him for help.

"What do you think, Nick. You want to pass the title on to your son? Do you think he will be a great Gamma?" Alpha Richard asked my father mockingly.

My father had a dark look in his eyes, glaring at me with so much hatred that I figured he would kill me for this.

"That runt is no son of mine." He replied bluntly. "I will remain Gamma and then appoint our best warrior as my successor."

Beta Rafe snickered.

"At least his face looks better now."

END FLASHBACK

Every part of my existence was crushed that night. My father refused to speak to me. Alpha Richard made me an Omega. I was taken directly to the servant's quarters in the packhouse to begin my duties. Everything I had worked so hard for, I failed to achieve. Even when I managed to train in my wolf form to gain some muscle, I was nowhere close to a Gamma wolf. I would barely make a decent warrior.

If there was a way to undo this, I would gladly do it.

Joe took a few steps closer to me and put his hand on my back.

I gathered all the courage I had and looked at him.

He had a frown on his face and I couldn't help but whimper when I saw it.

Am I really that hideous?

"Relax buddy, I just want to look at you. No need to worry."

Joe was silent for a few minutes.

"Our wolves are a part of us." He mumbled. "They share our memories, our emotions and our souls. They need to live in a pack to get companionship and love from its fellow members. When that doesn't happen, it's like being a Rogue within a pack. You lived without love and companionship for so long, you might as well have gone Rogue and that would have affected your wolf in a similar way." He gently patted my snout and I leaned into his touch.

"We don't do that around here. I think that your mate bond with Sally, joining this pack and replaceing some people to call friends will be enough to work wonders on your wolf."

I stared at him in disbelief.

Could it really be that simple?

Joe smiled.

"It's not going to happen overnight, but I believe you could get a larger Delta wolf if not a full fledged Gamma wolf once you are back to full strength."

I took a few steps back and shifted to my human form.

"Do you really think that would be possible?" I asked.

Joe nodded and patted my back.

"You're not alone, Kid. I've got you."

I looked down on the ground and pondered over his words for a moment.

"I would like that." I said. "I want to be happy."

We walked back to the training grounds and I sparred with new energy. It felt like something awoke within me.

Something that drowned out the self-doubt that had been haunting me for the past year.

Several of the warriors stayed behind and talked to me after training, including Warren that I sparred with the day before. For the first time ever, I felt myself relax in other people's company and I was actually able to make some new friends. I was still beaming when I came back to the Beta wing and found Sally and Alex hunched over a pile of papers by the kitchen table.

"Excuse us, Alex." I said quickly and pulled Sally out of the kitchen and into our bedroom.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

I kissed her on her forehead.

"Thank you for not asking about what happened at the lake." I said.

Sally shrugged.

"I trust that you'll tell me when you're ready." She replied and pecked me on the lips.

"How are you feeling now?" I asked.

Sally shrugged.

"A little sore." She admitted. "But in a good way."

I grabbed a handful of her hair and tilted her head upwards. I stared into her beautiful eyes, hypnotized by her beauty.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and George spoke from the other side of the door.

"Sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds, but Alpha is having a late night meeting and he asked Elijah to join us."