The Foiled Plan (War of Sins Book 2)
The Foiled Plan: Chapter 4

‘Is that all you’re wearing?’ He frowns at me, his hands quickly working the buttons of his coat before he drapes it over my shoulders.

‘I’m fine, Raf, really. You don’t have to treat me like an invalid,’ I tell him, though the warmth of the coat is inviting as I snuggle deeper into it, his scent enveloping my body. As I take a deep breath, it’s to feel him infiltrating every pore, every part of me. That dark yet sensual smell of his that speaks of whiskey and cigarettes, of forbidden nights and careless abandon…

‘You just got out of the hospital. I’m not taking any chances with you.’

‘Maybe we should just go back to disliking each other,’ I grumble under my breath, but a blush climbing up my cheeks betrays my true feelings.

‘No can do. That was before and this is now,’ he states as he leans back on the bench, his gaze towards the river.

No matter how many times he says something nice to me, I don’t think I’m ever going to get over the shock of it. He’s been nicer to me in the past few days than anyone’s ever been to me.

But the history we share doesn’t let me trust it. The fact that right before that he was promising to make my life a living hell, or kill me, doesn’t make me particularly trusting of his motives.

More than anything, I’m afraid to buy into his kindness only to be left bleeding when I realize it’s all a ruse.

‘I don’t understand you, Raf,’ I murmur softly, turning to him. ‘Why would you change your behavior towards me overnight? Just because you realized I suffered at Sergio’s hands too? What about Lucero, then? You’ve been blaming me for her death from the beginning, so what changed?’

A grimace appears on his face.

‘There has to be another explanation to Lucero’s death and why the box of matches was in your hand. You could have very well picked it off the ground,’ he shrugs. ‘But as it stands, I don’t believe you had anything to do with it.’

‘Just like that?’ I frown.

How can he be so sure when even I am not? My mind is still a battlefield, few memories of my time there trustworthy. I could have killed her. In my heart, I know I did something. I just don’t know what.

‘I should have listened to you from the beginning,’ he takes a deep breath. ‘I… I needed someone to blame and you were there. I didn’t consider you might have been a victim too. I didn’t think of anything else but my revenge.’

‘What if I end up remembering and…’

‘We’ll deal with that when the time comes,’ he replies.

But that’s not an answer.

What if I remember hurting her? What will happen then?

‘Raf…’

‘I spoke with your therapist,’ he suddenly changes the topic, and I frown. ‘I wanted to check up with her before telling you something that might adversely impact you.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘She assured me that you are strong enough to bear it, and it might actually help you heal.’

‘Raf, what…’

‘Noelle,’ he turns to me, taking my hands into his. ‘I’ve been thinking about this day and night, and I don’t think it’s fair to keep something like this from you. God knows…’ he trails off, pursing his lips. ‘At least not this. Because it doesn’t only affect your past, but also your present and your future,’ he takes a deep breath. ‘Do you know why you’re suffering from such debilitating abdominal pain?’

His startling light eyes are on me as he awaits my answer, so I can only shake my head, confusion swimming in my head at his words.

‘What I’m going to tell you…’ his fingers brush across my cheek as his expression turns tender, ‘I want you to know I’m here for you.’

‘You’re scaring me,’ I whisper.

‘You have endometriosis,’ he starts, a grim look on his face as he explains what it is, and that it affects my reproductive system. ‘But what triggered it…’

I listen to him attentively, but a strange sound lingers in my ears as I realize what he’s trying to tell me.

‘A child. I had a child,’ I repeat numbly.

‘He was premature,’ he notes, and I can make the connection. He died because he came too early.

Something snaps inside of me as I hear the rest of the information—that the birth had given me an infection that had spread, and as a result it is unlikely I’ll ever have children.

Children…

I’d never given them much thought, mostly because of my age. But hearing that I might never have them?

What’s worse is that I already had one that died.

Dead…

Sergio had taken a lot from me, but I never realized he would have taken that too.

‘God,’ the ragged sound escapes my lips.

Suddenly, I feel strong arms wrapped around my body, holding me, comforting me.

My breathing soon turns into soft sobs as I mourn the life I’d never met—that was most likely wrenched from me.

‘Shh,’ he whispers in my hair, and his arms are the only thing keeping me from going over the edge. His strength is there to hold me and keep me warm.

‘Why did no one tell me?’ I ask as hiccups rack my body. ‘Why…’

‘Your brother didn’t think you were strong enough to bear it,’ he explains, his hand cupping my head and holding me flush against his body. His embrace is so tight, he’s not giving me any chance to escape—to hide and lose myself to the sorrow.

‘Oh, Raf,’ I mumble, my thought a jumbled mess. ‘Why am I so unlucky? Why is everything bad happening to me?’ I cry out, accumulated pain making its way to the surface. ‘How much more do I have to bear…’

‘It’s in the past,’ he says in a tight voice. ‘And from now on you won’t have to worry about anything. I promise you. No one will hurt you again.’

‘You can’t promise that…’ I shake my head, but he just tightens his hold.

‘I can and I will. Because they will have to pass through me to get to you. And I’m not letting go.’

‘What… What are you trying to say?’ I sniffle, blinking rapidly as his words filter through my head.

‘That I’m here now and that I will protect you.’

His words make me reel, especially as he follows them with his lips, skimming the surface of my forehead. It’s the tiniest of touches, but it lights something in my chest and though a hole’s been burned inside of me at replaceing out about a child—my child—there’s a levity in knowing he’s by my side, that he has the power to fill up that emptiness.

‘Why? Why would you do that?’ I replace the courage to ask, because I am terrified this is just a phase—that it’s just his guilt speaking at replaceing out the truth about my time at the hacienda.

‘Why do you think so?’ He leans back, watching me intently with those baby blue eyes of his, and it’s like something unlocks within me.

I don’t know if this is what déjà-vu feels like, but there’s something inside of me that ignites at the sight of those beautiful eyes. Something that becomes so full of warmth and an undefined feeling that I don’t want to look closer into.

My mouth parts as I just stare at him. The intensity in his features should scare me—it should terrify me. But why is it that I’ve never been afraid in his presence? I’ve been beaten and abused by men, yet his proximity has never sparked even a little bit of fear.

In spite of his proclamations of revenge, or his words full of hate. In spite of his massive body that could easily do me harm.

Never once did I feel unsafe in his presence.

It’s a conundrum that may never be solved—the way he can make me at ease even in a hostile environment.

‘I don’t know,’ I say hoarsely.

‘I want you, Noelle. I want to care and provide for you.’

His words sound foreign to my ears, so I can only gape at him, afraid I haven’t heard him right.

‘I want to protect you from the outside world and make sure you’ll never, never, have to worry about anything.’

My brows are pinched together as even more confusion erupts in my mind.

‘But why… Why me…’ the words are mere whispers, but I can’t wrap my mind around why he would want me—someone so defective she doesn’t even have her own autonomy.

‘Why not you?’ he fires back. ‘You’re smart, brave, and incredibly, incredibly strong,’ he states, his voice full of admiration. ‘You’re also a beautiful woman, so that doesn’t hurt,’ he gives a low chuckle.

‘But I…’

‘No. You don’t get to put yourself down by saying you’re defective again. You don’t get to put an inferior value to yourself just because some people said so,’ he states with staunch conviction.

‘I admire you, Noelle. And I think there is something between us. Something worth pursuing,’ he swallows, and a hint of vulnerability peeks through. ‘If you want that, too.’

I’m speechless. The words are stuck in my throat no matter how much I’d like to reply to him. All of the things that are against us flash through my mind, yet even knowing that, I can’t replace it in myself to deny him.

‘I know you feel it too,’ he continues, taking my hand and turning it so my palm is facing up. ‘There’s an electricity between us,’ he dips one finger to the center of my palm in a tiny caress. ‘Something that simmers every time we are next to each other.’

I bring my teeth over my lower lip, biting it in uncertainty as I look at him. There doesn’t seem to be any deceit behind his words.

But everything is too sudden—way too sudden.

Just a few days ago he was promising me that he would end me, and now he wants to pursue something?

‘Raf,’ I start, my voice shaky with residual emotion. ‘I’m not good with men. I may have teased you,’ a smile appears on his face. ‘But that was the first time I’d done something like that—something so daring. Besides my marriage, I haven’t been around other men save for those in my family. So I don’t know how to react to this. I don’t know how to read this…‘ I trail off.

A small frown appears on his face.

‘What if this is another one of your games? Get me to lower my guard, fall for you and then deliver the last blow?’

‘It’s not like that. I swear…’

‘No,’ I lift my finger to his lips. ‘You don’t have to. It’s in the nature of our relationship and the fact that I am wary of you.’

‘We’ll take it slow. I’ll wait for you,’ he says with so much conviction in his voice. And to stun me further, he brings both my hands to his lips, kissing my fingers before moving to the inside of my wrists, laying chaste kisses all over the tender skin.

I don’t react—I can’t react.

The touch is feather-like, but it’s enough to trigger my soul-deep loneliness, and the fact that no one’s touched me with such gentleness in a long time—maybe forever.

‘I am aware of your trauma, and the fact that it might take time until you get more comfortable with me. But I’ll wait. Just say yes,’ he breathes, the warm air brushing against my skin and making me tremble.

His gaze is arresting as he sets it on me, and a low tremor goes through my body.

I may not have been around many men, but even then I can recognize that the things he makes me feel are not ordinary.

For so long I’ve been stuck in the persona relegated by my family—the defective, crazy one. But with him, I don’t feel like that, evidence being all the times I’ve behaved outside of my comfort zone with him.

I’ve shown him parts of myself that no one has seen until now, and that makes me question my own judgment.

Because things seem too good to be true. I’m already drawn to him like a moth to a flame—one step in the grave should he call me there. I recognize my attraction to him for what it is—my road towards perdition. It would be infinitely easy to fall for him—maybe a part of me has already done so. But can I trust that?

‘Ok,’ I replace myself answering. ‘We can try.’

A radiant smile overtakes his features and his arms are around me again.

‘You won’t regret it, pretty girl. I promise you.’

Half of me believes his words. But there’s also the other half that knows I have just handed him an instruction manual on how to end me.

I may have had my body destroyed in the past, but I don’t think the pain will compare to having my soul extinguished from my body.

And now, he’s got the means to do that.

The following days we settle into a comfortable routine, and it surprises me to see that his attitude has done a one-eighty.

That doesn’t mean his behavior doesn’t baffle me, every kind gesture stunning me to the spot and leaving me unable to replace a proper response.

Just the other day he brought me breakfast in bed, sneaking in a bar of my favorite chocolate and winking at me when I’d asked how he’d done that since for as long as I can remember our household has had a rule—no sweets before noon.

‘It can be our little secret,’ he’d said sneakily, a genuine expression of satisfaction on his face. It had been hard not to return it, especially as I bit into the chocolate, the flavor erupting on my tongue and making me start associating it with him.

I scowl as I wipe the steamed up mirror of the bathroom.

This is exactly what he wants. Bribe me with small, sweet things and make me lower my guard so he can strike when I least expect it.

The logical side of me knows this. Yet there’s another side of me that wants to ignore all the signs, simply bask in the moment while it lasts.

I’ve never had someone spoil me before. I’ve never had anyone pay attention to my likes and dislikes in such a thorough manner, surprising me at every turn and deriving pleasure from my pleasure.

It simply seems…impossible.

And so on the one hand, I know it’s too good to be true. But on the other hand, I can’t stop myself from enjoying every little thing he does for me.

Wasn’t this what I’d wished for from the beginning? For him to show me this side of him—the carer, provider and protector.

I’d seen him for what he truly was, even though it wasn’t with me, and I’d wished from the bottom of my heart it could be me. Yet now… It’s happening and I don’t know how to trust it.

I purse my lips as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, my freckles accentuated by the wan pallor of my face. Since my short stint in the hospital, I’ve been looking a little worse for the wear, the pain etched into my very features.

I look and look into the mirror and I wonder what he sees…

Does he still see me as the evil doña? Though he now knows the truth, does that image of cruelty he’s always had of me still seep into field of vision, making him hate me when he doesn’t want to?

The questions are making my head pound.

How can everything be erased when he’s hated me for so long? When he’s thought of all the ways he could make me suffer—had already implemented some of them. Will our relationship be forever marred by that…I wonder.

From my side, I can’t say I can forget everything. My entire being lights up in his presence, something about him making me forget myself and my past. Yet there’s the dark room, always looming over our heads.

I’d known he was capable of great cruelty just as I’d known he was capable of the sweetest kindness—somehow, from the very beginning I’d known. Yet I’d never realized just how far he was willing to take things until the dark room.

Goosebumps spread over my skin as I remember the terror I’d faced at thinking my will would be taken from me, my body violated in the worst manner…

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to thrust that unpleasant memory out of my mind.

Yet it’s there, another wound on my already battered fabric of existence.

Then what about him? What about his memories of me—of the other me? Can he forget that, when his hatred has festered for years? When deep down, he must still hold me accountable for Lucero’s death to some degree?

With a heavy sigh, I fasten my bathrobe around me, exiting the bathroom.

‘You startled me,’ I give a small yelp when I come face to face with Raf.

He’s sitting on the bed, his dark blazer in his hand, his white shirt popped open at the neck. He’s watching me intently, his blue eyes sparkling even in the darkness of the room.

‘I thought you were out,’ I try to fill the silence, my voice soft as I flick the light switch, the room coming to life.

‘I just got back,’ he nods, getting up and folding his blazer on the back of a chair.

A little flustered, I hurry to my vanity, taking a seat and hoping he’ll ignore me or go take a shower. Anything to have his searching gaze off me.

I’d only allowed myself a quick shower because he’d been out, somehow reluctant to give him an opening when I’d be at my most vulnerable—and most naked. A shudder goes down my spine at that thought. I hadn’t done it for his benefit, since he’s already seen my bare body before. No, I’d done it for myself. Because I know the moment I see desire flare in his eyes, the moment he invites me for something more than a wrist kiss, I’ll lose the war.

With him, with myself. I’ll lose everything.

At the end of the day, the startling truth is that I’ve wanted him all along. And with just a tiny touch, he’d realize how much…

‘You’re frowning,’ he notes, suddenly behind me.

I blink in confusion.

‘Are you in pain? Do you need something?’ He’s quick to ask, his body primed for movement—ready to bring me anything I ask.

‘No,’ I force a smile. ‘I’m feeling fine,’ I tell him.

And it is the truth. My period stopped the day before and the pain is mostly gone.

He doesn’t move, though.

Behind me, I covertly watch him in the mirror as he regards me wistfully.

‘You’re staring,’ I point out, feeling myself unravel under his warm gaze.

‘I turned the heat on,’ he takes a step closer, his hands hovering over my shoulders.

‘You…did?’

‘I heard the water running. I wanted you to replace the room warm,’ a flash of a smile appears on his face.

Through the mirror, I follow his movements.

He’s tentative, almost hesitant as he brings his big hands over my shoulders, lightly running them down the sides of my arms.

‘Can I?’ he inquires softly, and for a moment I have no clue what he’s asking.

I tilt my head to the side in confusion.

‘This,’ he continues, pulling on the towel that keeps my hair together. Immediately, my wet hair falls down my shoulders.

I don’t understand what he’s trying to do. In fact, I continue to sport a befuddled expression even as he takes away the wet towel, depositing it in the bathroom before returning and running his fingers through my locks.

‘Your hair is so soft,’ he murmurs, and before I can speak, in protest or encouragement, he brings his palms on top of my scalp, slowly massaging my skin.

My eyes fall closed, my mouth opening on a soundless moan of pleasure.

‘Relax,’ he whispers, slowly moving his fingers through my hair as he untangles every lock. And before I know it, he takes a brush from the table, threading it through my curls. He’s slow, efficient—careful. There’s not one flash of pain—of him pulling too tightly, or too fast. Even I would get frustrated with my mass of hair, and the fact that my light curls would often get tangled.

Not him.

He’s so meticulous, I’m having a hard time thinking this is a first for him. And as that thought surfaces, I can’t stop myself from blurting it out.

‘Have you done this before?’

‘Huh?’

‘Brushed someone’s hair,’ I add, a blush climbing up my cheeks.

‘My mother’s, sometimes,’ he answers, and my heart does a somersault in my chest.

‘You’re good,’ I praise, lest he see the hidden glee at his answer.

‘Is that so?’ His lips curl up, the back of his hand making contact with my nape in a light caress. I barely hold off the shudder that wants to claim my body. Especially as I look into the mirror, my eyes replaceing his.

Without realizing, I wet my lips, my tongue peeking out for a brief moment. He emulates the movement, licking his lips as if he’s had the most scrumptious meal.

It’s warm in the room, but the heat traveling through my body has nothing to do with that.

It’s all him…

He continues to tend to me in silence, every now and then audibly gulping down.

I try to ignore that, just as I try to ignore the way my treacherous heart reacts to his proximity.

‘Done,’ he finally says, stepping away.

I take in my appearance, surprised to see not a wisp of hair out of place.

‘Thank you, Raf.’ I give him a tentative smile.

‘Any time, Noelle. Any time.’ His smile is sadder.