The Tree of Knowledge
Chapter 8: God Doesn't Miss

A man and a priest are playing golf. The man takes a swing and hits the ball way over into a sand trap. He screams out, “Goddamnit! I missed!”

The priest looks at him in alarm and advises the man not to blaspheme.

They move on to the next hole. This time, the man hits his ball into the pond and yells, “Jesus fucking Christ I missed!”

The priest again warns him that God will strike down blasphemers.

On the third hole the man, not having any luck at all today, hits his ball into the bushes. He screams, “God fucking damnit! I missed!”

This time, before the priest can open his mouth, a lightening bolt streaks down through the sky, striking the priest and killing him instantly. The man looks up and hears a voice from Heaven say, “Goddamnit! I missed!”

Of course, it’s just a joke. It’s not like that would really happen. In real life, God doesn’t miss.

This is the reality we deal with. In our newfound society, we’ve eliminated the need for police. There are no more wars. No military.

Why would we need police when we are suddenly so very good at policing ourselves? Murderers turn themselves in, tearfully begging God’s forgiveness. Thieves cut off their own hands (and adulterers their own dicks).

What is death, or pain, compared to eternal damnation? Why would we ever protest God’s (unjust) law when faced with the alternative? Because God is very real. And so is Hell.

What other choice do we have but to obey?

And remember, Jesus loves you.