Watch The Dark
II: ten

Tana thought that being forgiven by Sincere would make things in the house better. But she was so, so wrong.

Within the next two weeks, Bea and Mika ended up moving into one of the packhouses that was closest to Tana's house. The two complained that their house was too chaotic; but Tana couldn't blame them.

Icarus had his fangs growing in, which meant he was chewing on everything. Including Sincere. At one point Tana had caught the girl trying to tie Icarus to a chair with a belt she stole from Declan. Tana didn't even know how to solve that situation.

Tana did not think that at 22 she would be chasing after an almost-two-year-old and a mischievous five-year-old. Declan tried his best to help, but he was just as clueless as she was. Bea was the only one who actually helped seeing as she was a bit older than them.

"Ow! Stop it Icky!" Sincere wailed as the baby began gnawing on her arm once again. Declan was gone to the pack house to discuss both the bounty on Icarus's head and the wolves who attacked Sincere. The prisoner they had caught wasn't cracking, especially since Talon was there. Declan said they were going to try and different tactic but when Tana asked what he meant he didn't answer her.

"Icarus!" Tana hissed, pulling him away from Sincere. The other pup frowned and rubbed her arm, which had already healed from the tiny marks Icarus left there. When the began to fuss, Sincere handed one of his teething toys to Tana.

After settling him down, Tana slumped back in her chair, rubbing at her face with her hands.

***

The afternoon couldn't have come soon enough. It was a Friday, which meant Luna Erica and her pups would be visiting. Tana had only seen Erica twice, but both times she had made a lovely impression, so she didn't mind her company.

The moment Asher came through the door Sincere was on her feet and at his side.

"Yay! Asher is here!" She squealed. Asher grinned and clapped his hands excitedly, laughing when Sincere grabbed his arm and pulled him upstairs to go to her room.

"Those two are adorable," Erica sighed, placing Rosie on the ground. Icarus, who was sitting in the living room playing, eyed the other baby suspiciously.

"Indeed. Please tell me Rosie is teething and Icarus isn't the only one?" Tana said. Erica let out a soft laugh and shook her head.

"Probably not as much as Icarus, but she is. Let me tell you, when Asher was his age it was unbearable. He chewed on everything. People included. Poor Lennox looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal after an hour with him," she said. Tana smiled lightly, crouching down when Rosie patted her leg and looked up at her.

"Loves everyone but her mama. I hope this one appreciates me more than these two do," Erica remarked, rubbing her stomach with a snort. Tana laughed a bit as well.

***

Icarus and Sincere were asleep. Declan wasn't home, but he would be soon. Yet, Tana felt unbelievably empty.

When she was a young girl, she was adamant about never wanting pups. As she grew it only became clearer that she wasn't cut out to be a mom. After Talon, she was convinced that she was too damaged to have them anyway. She never had time to process it.

It overwhelmed her. She didn't give herself time to process it, so it all crashed down on her that night while she lay curled up on her side in the bed. Icarus had been moved to his own room, so Tana allowed her tears to flow freely as she lay there.

Alec loved kids. He and Sincere hit it off famously. Even the den mothers would ask him to help them out from time to time. It was amusing; a powerful warrior acting as a jungle gym for tiny pups.

But every fond image of her brother was marred by her final image of him. The pure panic in his eyes when Talon ordered his warriors to kill him. Tana could feel what he felt and it gutted her. Her big brother had spent his entire life making sure she and Tuk were happy and yet he had never truly been happy himself. He would never get to meet his mate. He would never get to have pups of his own.

He would never get to meet Icarus.

She bit down on her knuckle to keep her sobs as silent as possible.

"Tana? Goddess, are you okay? What happened?" Declan's voice drifted through the room, but she didn't have the courage to lift her head and face him. The tears just kept falling.

"I didn't save him. I could have saved him. He didn't get to live yet but I did. I don't deserve this," she whispered, her sentence ending in another sob. Declan gazed at her softly, staying silent as he placed his bag down and slipped his jacket off.

Tana didn't register what he was doing until she felt the bed dip beside her. His arms circled her within seconds, pulling her against his chest. He didn't seem to care when she rolled over and cried into his chest, her hands curled into the fabric as if it were a lifeline.

"I'm too young to have two kids to take care of already. It's all too much," she cried, quieting down as he ran a comforting hand over her hair.

"We're in this together, Tana. What happened to Alec was tragic, but he wouldn't want you to live your life feeling guilty for it. He would want you to be happy. That's all he ever wanted. And as for Icarus and Sincere...we have help. There's Blake and Jade and Bea; so many people who are willing to help take care of them. It's going to be alright," he chided. Tana sniffed and reached up a hand to wipe her tears away.

"Fang won't stop until I'm dead and Sincere is with him," she said. Declan tensed beside her and let out a low growl.

"We're prepared this time. He won't lay a hand on you or Sincere," he said.

“I don’t want to let anyone else die. I keep messing it all up,” she whispered. Declan was quiet for a moment, his hair still running over her hair.

“You don’t need to feel guilty about things that are out of your control. For other peoples actions. None of it is your fault,” he repeated. Tana knew he was right, but it was hard to hear. For years she blamed herself for the pain and suffering around her but she never considered her own. The things she had done to help her family and the ones around her. Perhaps she wasn’t as horrible as she thought. After all, she had brought Icarus into the world. No monster could bring such a perfect kid out.

“Sleep for now, Tana. We’ll figure out everything tomorrow. Just rest,” he chided.

She didn’t think that his words would work. But before she knew it, she had completely passed out in his arms.