Werewolf Compilations
Chapter 97

"Do you need me to call a doctor?"

Goddess, now he sounds worried, perfect, Rae. Great job! Why are you like this? Why can't you just get up and answer that damn door? Why do you hide away? Be strong, Rae. Tell him the truth, Rae. Stop being pathetic, Rae.

My stomach begins to bubble up, my chest growing tight. "No," say with a shaky voice, "it's not..."

Come on, Rae. Come on!

The deep-rooted panic sets in now. It feels as if someone is shoving a towel down my throat.

"Rae? Will you open the door?"

She's shoving the towel down my throat.

Hesitantly, I unbury myself and walk to the door, placing my hand on the handle, really contemplating this. I bite my lip hard before switching the lock and steadily inching it open, peeking out to look up at him. I'm sure my cheeks are red and my pajamas look scrambled, but I let out a little smile. "Hi," I mumble, wiping away all the encumbering thoughts that were tangled in my head just moments ago. Some things get easier with time and practice.

James' eyes wander past me, replaceing the visible pile of clothes on the floor and scene of panic. I inch the door closed, just enough space for my body. His eyes return to me.

"I just...couldn't replace anything to-well, to wear so," I admit, knowing there's no point acting normal now. "It's ridiculous, right? I'm sorry, I just-I don't know."

Something of a smile flashes on his face. "You're dressed now, aren't you?"

I glance down at my pajamas, feeling silly. "Well, yes, but—"

"Then come on, before the food gets cold."

Unsure, I stay in the doorframe until he turns and heads towards the stairs, catching up to him. "James, I—"

He peers behind, having a perfect view of the mess I am, but he simply carries on. "It's only dinner, Rae."

I follow him to the dining room, which I haven't been in much. Most of the time I ate with Gail and Theresa in the kitchen, which was less worrying. They chatted about things going on around the pack and would ask me questions every few exchanges. It was easy.

Two seats are set up on the table, plates and glasses and silverware and napkins and steaming food in front of them. There is one spot at the head of the table and one to the side, and the dimmed chandelier above sparkles down on it like a dream. Not wanting to sit at the head of the table, I choose the much more comfortable seat and watch as James takes the other.

My heart won't settle. It feels as if something terrible is about to happen, and I predict it to be my oncoming embarrassment.

I sit cross-legged, needing to feel more at home and stopping myself from bobbing my knee. The table covers the childish action, not worrying me much, and I hesitantly take the fork in my hand, trying to remember the position my fingers go in. It's steak and potatoes and grilled vegetables, and the aroma clouds my nose.

Since I sat down, I haven't looked at James, but I hear movement from him. My eyes are stuck to my plate, lifting bits of food to my mouth as a squirrel would eat. Nibbling. My hair creates a curtain between us, but I feel the curtain being pulled back. I look up to James with a flushed face, my fingernails pressing into my palm. "Are you alright?" He asks, looking rather relaxed.

I force a little smile along with a breathy laugh sort of sigh. "I'm fine."

"You look tense."

"I, uh-What will you be doing tomorrow?" I attempt, and he gives me a questioning look. "I've, um, always wondered what Alphas do all day."

James' brows furrow. "Uh, well, I'll meet with Will in the morning and we'll talk with the commanding guards, then we might head over to observe training before stopping by the border posts."

I nod, coming up with plans of my own. "That guard, Theodore... I want him to show me around the pack."

"My personal guard Theodore?" James questions. "Why the specific request?"

"Well, I know him the most. I've been around him the most. He's nice to me. I don't know, I just prefer him."

I assume James knows that Theodore's sister is the green-eyed girl, but I don't think he knows I do. "Sure, then. I'll fetch him tomorrow."

It will be nice to know what's around me and where everything is, but I am more keen on confronting her, his sister. There are things I need to know. Her ghost won't leave me until I get some kind of closure, and I don't plan on living in a haunted house. "Great," I smile, forking some potatoes.

The conversation stays simple for the rest of dinner, and thankfully, no questions about the past are asked. Once our plates are clear, Will comes out of nowhere and swipes James away, talking about some rogue at the East border who greatly injured a guard. I stand and watch as they hurry out of the house, eventually sighing and helping Gail clean up. "Is everything alright, you think?" I ask while bringing the glasses from the table to the sink.

"I'm sure everything is fine. It is not too unusual, I'm afraid," she assures me while taking the glasses from me.

"Is it normal...for him to leave a lot?" I say quietly.

"Well, he is the Alpha. I suppose that comes with many responsibilities."

I roll my eyes playfully at her sarcasm. "I know, I know."

After everything is cleaned up, I head upstairs and run a bath. I don't usually take baths, but something has put me in the mood for one. Without bubble bath, I substitute in body wash and squeeze out the gel as the faucet runs, watching as the bubbles grow and pile. I lower myself in and graze the bubbles with my fingers, poking, and smashing them between my hands.

Light pours into the bathroom from the bedroom, giving me a romantic glow. There is a candle on the counter, but I have no matches or lighter to light it, but this will do. I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth, wanting to feel as relaxed as James was.

I think of him as the water caresses me. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder what he is thinking.

I hope he is thinking of me.