It was raining heavily outside and the passing car were smears of colour against the grey of the city, when the Dame sashayed into my office. She was a great Dame too, not like that Dame Judi Dench. She had legs up to here and a face to die for. And a torso, she had one of those torso’s too.

“And who might you be, sweetcheeks?” I said, lighting a Chesterfield and putting my feet up on my desk.

(Err...what’s going on?)

“Murder Most Foul!” cried the dame, in a voice that was both husky and sexy, like a really sexy husky.

“Hot diggity!” I shot up, grabbing my piece, “A real moider? Haven’t had one of them in years, what’s the sitch?”

(Why am I talking like this?)

“No, that’s my name,” said the Dame, “Mrs Most-Foul, first name Murder,”

“Oh,” I sat down, disappointed, on the floor. I’d pawned my office chair for a bottle of hooch. “Well, what can I do for you, Mrs Most Foul?”

“It’s my husband,” she said, in a voice that was arousing and risky, like an arousing game of Risk. “I think he’s been murdered!”

(This...this is weird...um....)

“And what was your husband’s name?”

“Drive By Shooting,” she cried.

“I knew it!” I cried, leaping up and grabbing my fedora, “Was it Capone’s boys?”

“No, he’s name is Shooting, first name Driveby. He’s from a very reputable family, the son of the great business magnate, Premeditated Shooting.”

“Oh,” I sat down, disappointed, in the dirt. I’d sold my floor to pay for a backstory that involved three divorces, alcoholism and a tepid relationship with the Bulls. “And where did you last see your husband, Mrs Most Foul?”

“The Morgue!” she said, dramatically and orgasmically. Like a thing that is both dramatic and orgasmic.

“Holy Moses, now we’re cooking - wait, that’s where you live, isn’t it?”

“Yes, 123 the Morgue, a very desirable street,”

(Seriously, what the fuck is going on?)

“Oh,” I sat down, disappointed in a sewer pipe. I’d pawned the foundations of my building to pay for a decent trench coat. “And why’d you come to me, sweetcheeks? Why don’t you go to the bulls?”

I scratched my beak with a talon -

(Why do I have a beak? Talons?)

- And tried to fight off my cravings for a mouse. I’d been clean one year, but god, this job drives you back to Lady Rodent.

(Ok, seriously, what the fuck is going on? Hello? Anyone? Helloooooooooo???)

The window blew open, and that damn kid Tobias floated past, swimming leisurely in the air. He began doing laps around my head.

“I came to you,” said the Dame, “because you’re the best damn owl detective in Hootsville, P.I Hooty McHootface!”

“Hooty McHootFace,” said Tobias, swimming around the air surrounding my head, “He knows whoooooooooo done the crime!”

“Aww, chicka,” said the Dame, who was now Red, “You really aren’t having a good day are you?”

Meanwhile, Tobias had transformed into a raven. He flew over the room and settled upon a bust of Pallas about my chamber door.

“Awk!” he croaked, and then qouth, “Have you been involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault? You could be entitled to compensation.”

Frantically, I opened a draw - hard with talons - and tried to replace my pills. Inside the draw was Crucius’s head, which regarded me languidly and said, “I fear this situation is rather grave, don’t you, Mr Avaron?”

“Oh shit,” I bellowed, “I’m tripping balls aren’t I?”

And then I was falling, falling suddenly down a bottomless pit spiralling out of control as the world around me shifted and shivered and I plunged into darkness and back into light and darkness again to see -

Trees.

I came out of the trip very slowly. I gradually became more and more aware of my body, aching and sore, aware that I was lying down on the ground, aware of trees rising around me, aware of a clear sky crisscrossed with branches, aware, very suddenly, that I was alive. My body ached, but that was good, because it meant I still had a body. I gave my hands and feet and experiment shake. Everything accounted for. Taking a deep breath, I slowly, painfully, got to my feet.

I was standing in a clearing in a thickly wooded forest. The trees were unlike any I’d seen before - thin trunks, twisted into erratic shapes, branches that sprouted well above my head into a thin, green canopy. The ground was thickly covered in a carpet of dead, dry leaves, with crunched under my feet as I turned. Here and there, tree roots burst out of the ground like exposed pipes, forming ridges and gullies. It was warm, stickily so, and my clothes clung to my body, bonded by a layer of sweat. The only sound I could hear was a distant, deep sonorous hum, coming from somewhere deep in the heart of the forest.

And I had no idea where I was.

“Welcome back to the waking world, Sleepwalker,” said a metallic voice to my left.

I spun. Gorcrow was leaning against the bough of a nearby tree. His savoy street suit blended into the dark bark of the tree, as if was sprouting forth from it, and his steely, Crow head mask was some unholy blossom.

“You have questions, no doubt,” he continued, the echoing voice punctuated by the clicking on his beak, “By all means, ask them.”

“How did I…” thought I was no longer hallucinating, my body felt like it was running at a very different speed from my mind, “How did I…”

“Get here? I brought you here. You were drugged, of course. We kept you on the edge of consciousness during our journey. You were brought out every two hours...that is how long you can spend asleep, isn’t it, Sleepwalker? Two hours?”

“How could you….possibly…?”

“Know about your sleep patterns? It is very simple. You belong to the Brotherhood of Crows now, Sleepwalker. And I know everything about the people I own.” something about the way the leaf-dappled light caught his mask made it look as though he was smiling a crocodile smile, “You have done an excellent job of hiding yourself from the world. You have no birth certificate, no school records, no mention of any medical procedures. Yet the Brotherhood of Crows can always replace what it seeks, and I know who you are...Elijah Avaron.”

I glanced around me. No sign of another living soul, beyond him and me. The oppressive weight of the forest pressed it around us, like a living thing closing in on its prey. “Why didn’t you just kill me?”

Gorcrow tutted, a sound like heavy rain on metal sheets roofing. “Be assured, Sleepwalker. You will die. But no by my hand. No, here you have a fighting chance. I stand before you to show you your fate. But my Brotherhood is fair. You have your weapons -”

“Oh, do I? Sweet!”

I drew my revolver and fired at his chest. The shot shattered the silence of the forest. But Gorcrow did not fall. Instead, he spurted and shimmered like a mirage, and became whole again.

I lowered my revolver, slowly. “You’re a hologram,” I said, bitterly.

“I am a fair man, Sleepwalker. But I am not a fool. Save your bullets.” He spread his arms in a conciliatory gesture. “Perhaps now you will listen to what I have to say?”

I slumped against a nearby tree, and holstered my gun. “Speak your piece.”

“Very well. You are in a place of my devising, now. And as such, you will abide by my rules.”

“And those rules are?”

“Very simple. You will survive for as long as you can, and then, eventually, you will put that gun to the side of your head, and pull the trigger.”

I laughed, hollowly. “Mate, you have no fucking idea how many times I’ve been there, done that. The only person who’s getting a gun to their head is you, when I replace you.”

“Do not fool yourself, Sleepwalker.” Gorcrow replied, coldly. “You are going to die here, and by your own hand.”

“And why’s that, exactly?”

“Because,” he cocked his head from side to side, gesture from his name sake, “I know what you did.”

A cold hand of fear placed itself gently upon the nape of my neck. “That’s impossible.”

“Is it? You have spent most of your adult life covering your tracks, and you have done so very well. But the Brotherhood of Crows is always watching from above, born on black wings. You destroyed every record that you ever lived, you exist as hermit, and yet still I found out why...why, all those years ago, you had your own memory wiped. But it wasn’t just yours, was it, Sleepwalker? Your brother? Your father? All three of you, wiped clean, by your will….do you ever wonder why you did that?”

“Funny thing,” I snarled, “I don’t remember.”

“Oh, but you will. Soon enough, you will remember. Why would someone do as you have done, and wipe most of their life away? Is it perhaps because you did something, something so vile, that you could not bring yourself to live with the memory of it?”

“Why bother with all this? If you want me dead, then come down here in person and face me.”

“There is perhaps,” Gorcrow studied his fingertips, contemplatively, “an element of revenge. You killed my first creation, my first super-soldier. Years of work went into creating the technology that gave him life, and you snuffed it out in a moment. Of course, I knew that was to be his fate, yet there is still some grief...but there is more to this than that. Do you perhaps, feel something on your chest?”

I looked down, and saw my shirt was half unbuttoned. There was something glowing pale blue under my skin, a raised patch of flesh just over my heart. I saw rudimentary surgical stitches around the sight, and I realised, with horror, what that blue glow was.

“You motherfucker!” I spat.

“That chaos drive is not fully charged. Chaos comes from death, as every member of my order knows. But in my research, I discovered certain catalysts for increasing chaos yield: fear, stress, trauma...but perhaps the greatest method generating chaos is the act of suicide. That device in your chest will charge as you fall apart, and then, when you do put that gun to your head, it will trigger. And then, Sleepwalker, then you will be mine.”

“Let me tell you what’s gonna happen,” I drew myself up, and squared off against the holographic Crow. “I’m gonna replace a way out of here. I’m going to replace you. And first thing I’m gonna do is take this thing out of my chest and stick it as far down your throat as I can. Then you and me are gonna kick back and get to know each other a little better. Using whatever sharp thing I can replace. And then, I’m going to replace out where the Brotherhood calls home, and I’m gonna gun each and everyone of you mask wearing fucks down.” I hesitated, “After that, maybe a shower.”

Gorcrow laughed a long, croaking laugh. “You are welcome to try, Sleepwalker. You are welcome to try. You have survived so much, already. You can survive here. You will be able to replace food. Water. Shelter. You have your weapons. Many have been here before you. Some made it for weeks. But all, eventually, belonged to me. I am patient,”

I gritted my teeth. “I’ll see you in hell, Gorcrow.”

“Haven’t you heard, Sleepwalker? Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.”

The hologram flickered out and died, and I was alone.

I did a quick inventory. I had two speedloaders on my belt. That, plus the eight rounds in the chamber, gave me twenty eight bullets. Not bad. I’d been in situations with less ammo. I could feel the weight of my katai blades in the sleeve sheathes. But I could also feel the soreness in my chest around the chaos drive, and felt another twinge of fear.

I began to walk, unsteadily, over the uneven ground. I needed to get to higher ground, I told myself, though I wasn’t sure why. That’s what people did, right, when they were out in the wild. You headed for higher ground because...because you just did. I realised as I walked, how little I knew about being in nature. Cities, cities I could do. In a city, you could learn the layout of the streets, learn the character to every district, form a mental map. I never got lost in cities. Here, here there was nothing but trees. I tried to get a sense of where I was from the sun, but when the canopy of leaves and branches broke all I saw was a dull glow overhead.

No need to panic. Okay, what did I know. I was in a forest. That could be...anywhere. The trees looked...unusual. The few times I’d ever been in the countryside, I’ve never seen trees these twisted, this warped...maybe they’d taken me to another country...in which case, fine, I could replace a way out, replace a town, contact Tobias, Zularna and Crucius...I could defend myself if I needed to...I could...I could…

I know what you did.

I began to run.

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