ACADEMY OF THE UNDEAD; BOOK TWO Stand Together ... Or Fall Together
CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The Christian And The Beast

Elizabeth saw the girl sitting quietly on a chair in a corner. A large chain was attached to the manacle that was clasped around her right wrist, and the catcher’s helmet was securely fastened on her head. Elizabeth pulled a chair over and sat down next to her. “Hello.”

Giddy nodded and said, “Hey.”

“My name is Elizabeth, and from what I’ve been told, it appears that you are a little more comfortable in your surroundings now.”

Giddy looked at the chain on her right wrist, then frowned; then she tapped the knuckles of her left hand on the catcher’s helmet, then glanced at the girl as she said, “In some ways I’m more better, and in some ways I ain’t better.”

“Okay, well, you are making progress and that is a good thing.”

“I like Mistress,” Giddy said, “Shim one of the better things.”

“Yes, we all like Mistress, errr … Aleisha.”

“I like Gasm’s too,” Giddy added, “They the most better thing of all.”

Elizabeth blushed and said, “Anyway, I have come here tonight to offer my companionship and friendship, and also to try and help you come to grips with your loss, or … ummm … actually, gee, Cheese Crackers … your, your lots and lots of losses.”

“Say what?”

Elizabeth patted the girl’s knee and said compassionately, “Well, you and me are probably experiencing similar emotions at the moment, and we are trying to cope with our grief, because we both lost people special to us.”

Giddy nodded and said, “Yo, I lost ma ’chete.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I am grieffing, cause’n I lost ma ’chete.”

“Ohhh, you mean your machete?”

“Yo, and I’m grieffing cause I lost it.”

“Ummm, it’s not actually lost, I think I know where it is.”

“Ohhh,” Giddy perked up and asked, “Can yo bring it to me?”

“No, I don’t think that is a good idea at the moment.”

“Please.” Giddy mumbled.

“Ummm, Giddy, Miss Giddy, I would prefer not to talk about weapons right now, because us, you and me, we both lost special people in our lives, so I was thinking that we can try and help each other by talking about our feelings.”

Giddy pondered, then asked, “Who?”

“Who, what?”

“What special people did I lost again?”

“Well, your friends, you know, pretty much your entire clan.”

Giddy shook her head and said, “Uhh uhh, they weren’t special.”

“No?”

“Yo.”

“They were like your family though.”

“No, nit-nit-choppa, I just hang with them cause’n I got nowhere’s else to hang.”

“So what are you saying, you didn’t love them?”

“Fuck off!”

Elizabeth rocked back in surprise, then she said, “But you must have made a few friends by being in that group.”

“No.”

“Are you saying that you didn’t like anybody in your clan?”

“Nit-nit, no! Goggles turned me, and-”

“Goggles?” Elizabeth interrupted, “Is that the nasty man called Troggo?”

“Yeah him, greasy fucker; nit-nit, him turned me, and I just hung with them, cause’n they just do bad stuff, and I was good at doing bad stuff. I used to be the nastiest and baddest vamp in New Orleans, but Mistress says to yo, Don’t do bad stuff, and maybe some good stuff will come yo way.”

“Yes, that is a very noble principle to base your life around.”

“Say what?”

“Ummm, ummm, like Mistress said, do good stuff and not bad stuff. Anyway, I’m interested; you didn’t like anybody in your clan?”

“No, ohhh, except sometimes Monster, and I only like shim when shim tickle me up, but most of the time, shim a crazy fucker!”

Intrigued by this strange girl, Elizabeth asked, “How long have you been a vampire?”

Giddy thought about it, then asked, “What’s six years plus five?”

“Eleven.” Elizabeth replied, then she asked, “So you’ve been a vampire for eleven years?”

“No, six years.”

“Ummm, why did you ask me what six plus five is?”

“Yo been a vamp for six years, and Mistress put me on properbation for five years.”

Elizabeth knew that a rather earnest discussion with Aleisha was in her immediate future, because she needed to know exactly what Aleisha had told this girl, although while she was here, she decided to try and replace out about the girl’s history. “Before you became a vampire, where were you from?”

“I used to live in a house.”

“Sure, but whereabouts did you live?”

“In one of the bedrooms.”

Okay, Elizabeth thought wryly, The history lesson can wait. She sat up straight, and with her hands in her lap, she said, “Well I’m pleased that you are more settled now, and I’m pleased that your grieving period has just kind of whistled past in the blink of an eye, so I will speak to the others about gradually trying to integrate you into our group.”

“Say what?”

The poor girl seemed semi-illiterate, so Elizabeth said compassionately, “Ummm, I’ll try and get you out of the basement.”

“Mistress says I’m on properbation, and iffen I pass the properabtion, I can come out.”

“Actually, she probably said that you are on probation.”

“As well?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m on properbation and probation?”

“No, they are the same thing.” Elizabeth replied, then she asked, “Just out of interest, did Mistress say how long you were going to be on probation?”

“Properbation?”

“Yes, okay, properbation.”

“I told yo, five years.”

Elizabeth frowned, then said, “I might have a quite word to your Mistress.”

“Iffen yo speaking to Mistress, tell shim I worship shim, and tell Mistress that I said the other stuff what shim tells me to say too.”

“I will, and I might come and see you again tomorrow night.”

Giddy liked this little blond vampire already, because she seemed really nice, and importantly, she was very pretty. Giddy sucked her bottom lip, then muttered, “Wait up …”

“What?”

“Yo going?”

“Yes, but I will come back tomorrow night and we can have another nice little chat.”

“Before yo go, can I aks yo sumfink?”

“Yes, you can.”

“Yo ever get, get … errr, itchy?”

“Since I became a vampire, no, I don’t tend to get itchy.”

“Sometimes I get itchy, and Mistress massages the itches away,” Giddy said, then she added glumly, “Iffen Mistress can be bothered, that is.”

“Ummm, while I understand that your right wrist is chained, effectively you have the use of both of your hands, so maybe you could scratch the itchy bits.”

Giddy looked up pensively and asked, “Could yo do it?”

“Scratch you?”

“Ummm, massage yo.”

“Ohhh, you want me to give you a massage?”

Giddy looked up and said brightly, “Yo!”

Elizabeth rocked back in surprise, “No?”

Giddy said, “No, yo!”

Feeling that she needed to have an urgent talk with Aleisha, and also being a bit confused by the girl’s garbled vocabulary, Elizabeth said, “Ummm, I might come back later.”

Giddy shuffled anxiously and said, “Yo, don’t go, no.”

“Don’t go?”

Yo!”

“Yo want me to stay … err, I mean, you want me to stay?” Elizabeth asked quietly.

Giddy was confused because the pretty blond seemed confused, so she blurted, “No!” then after she realised what she had said, she corrected, “Yo, stay yo, go, no.”

“Cheese Crackers, I’m not sure if I’m yoo-ing or going.” Elizabeth mumbled.

“Yoo-ing, yo!”

“You want me to yo, I mean stay?”

“Yo!” Giddy stated brightly.

Wanting things clearly clarified, Elizabeth asked politely, “Ummm, can I ask you a question?”

“Yo!”

“I think you just answered the question without me asking the question, but I will ask it anyway; does yo mean yes?”

“Yo!”

“Ummm, I think I might re-ask my question, and I would be appreciative if you could answer the question with a yes or a no?”

Giddy was excited, and she said, “Yo!”

“Hmmm, okay; does yo mean yes or no?”

“Yes,” Giddy replied, then she added, “Or sometimes no.”

Elizabeth shook her head in confusion, and Giddy wanted to clear things up, so she said, “Yo can mean yes or no, and it can also mean you, like iffen yo talking about another person, or if yo is talking about yoself, yo can be used to talk about yoself.”

Elizabeth nodded, then asked shyly, “Can we try something different?”

“Yo.”

“I am going to ask you a question, and I would like very much if you would nod your head if the answer to my question is yes, or alternatively, I would like you to shake your head negatively if the answer is no. Are we clear on that?”

“Yo.”

“Okay, so my question is, would you like me to give you a massage?”

Giddy stood up and discarded her clothes with indecent haste, nodded her head furiously, scrambled over to the table, and with the chain still clinking, she lay down.

“Okay, that tends to make things a bit clearer,” Elizabeth said as she walked over to the table and asked, “Will I start on your back?”

“Yo.”

“Okay, turn over then.”

“I meant yo as no that time; no back, yo.”

“Ummm, so front?”

“Yo!”

Elizabeth dawdled, so Giddy said decisively, “Front!” and then she nodded her head furiously.

Elizabeth didn’t feel comfortable about engaging with a person who was chained up, although the girl had excitedly accepted, and as a delicate massage began, the girl started swooning.

With the girl on her back, Elizabeth massaged her arms and then legs, then massaged her shoulders and hips, although right through the massage, it seemed like the girl was mumbling. “Ummm, did you say something?” Elizabeth asked.

“Pussy!” the girl spat out.

“I’m sorry?”

“Pussy!” she spat out again.

Elizabeth was indecisive, so Giddy pointed at her groin and said, “Here!”

This wasn’t really the kind of shine-a-light experience that Elizabeth had been expecting, so she pointed timidly, and asked, “There? You want me to massage you there?”

“Yo!” Giddy shot back, although when the girl didn’t move, Giddy nodded her head furiously.

*

Elizabeth was pleased with how it had all gone. The girl was quite cute, although she was very noisy. But appreciative.

They sat on the chairs, and Giddy said, “A thousand thank-you’s.”

“You’re welcome,” Elizabeth replied, “Did you enjoy it?”

“If I’m being criticise to yo, yo took too long to get to yo puss, and yo a bitch like me, and yo a vamp like me, so yo should know that Gasm’s come out of puss.”

Elizabeth blushed, and she said shyly, “In my mind I had several boundaries and barriers in place, and I was conscious of not touching you inappropriately until we get to know each other better.”

“Yo did but touch me inappropriate!” Giddy declared.

“Ohhh, Cheese Crackers, I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to do, but if I overstepped the boundaries, I do apologise.”

“Nit-nit, no, yo,” Giddy began excitedly, “The inappropriate bits were my favourite bits!”

“So what I did to you was what you wanted me to do?”

“Yes’um, I don’t get itchy if I get Gasmmed up.” Giddy replied, then she added, “I like Gasm’s!”

Elizabeth blushed and said, “Yes, I did notice.”

“I would like for Gasm’s every night, but Mistress says she only tickle yo up iffen shim can be bothered.”

“Yes, that does sound like your Mistress.”

“Mistress shown me shim’s roster, and I aks Mistress to put me on, and Mistress says iffen I pass properbation period, shim will give yo another properbation period on shim’s roster.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy being on the roster.”

“Yo got a roster too?”

“No, not really.”

“Iffen I pass properbation period, I’s do a roster, and I’s put yo on mine!”

“Yes, maybe we’ll just see how things go.”

“Wait up, I put yo on for sure, cause’n I like yo touching me Blondie.”

“Thank-you, and my name is Elizabeth.”

“Huh, what ya thanking me for Blondie?” Giddy asked, “Yo done all the good work.”

“Hmmm, I understand your point, but I guess it’s my nature to be polite.”

“So iffen yo Gasm yo up again, yo will say thank yo again?”

“Ummm, I thanked you in response to your statement when you said, I like you touching me Blondie.”

“So iffen I says that again, yo’s thank me again?”

“Well, you have already made the statement, which indeed, I did thank-you for, so I now understand that you like me touching you, so you will have no need to say that statement again, unless of course, you change your mind and you decide that you don’t like me touching you any more, in which case I would expect you to advise me and say, I don’t like you touching me any more Blondie, or actually, I would prefer if you called me Elizabeth rather than Blondie; and if you advise me that you don’t like me touching you any more, I will say, Thank-you for alerting me to that fact.”

Giddy was staring at her, and Elizabeth asked, “Are you okay?”

Giddy nodded and said, “Yo.” then she asked quietly, “What ’bout yo, are yo okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine thank-you.”

“Really?” Giddy asked, “There ain’t nothing wrong wit yo?”

“Well I miss my partner, and I’m still in the grieving process, but emotionally, I am healing.”

“I get that, but I meant ya ain’t got no brain injury or nothing?”

“Goodness me. No, psychologically I am sound, and emotionally I’m repairing.”

“Yeah, but ya keep thanking yo when I ain’t done nothing, ohhh, except have a Gasm, and yo mostly done that.”

“Ummm, that’s my nature, I mean I try to be polite to everyone.”

“So’s if I be polite to yo, yo Gasm yo up again?”

“Well if you behave yourself and we get along nicely, yes, that will be among the range of possibilities that exist.”

“Is that a yo?”

“Yes, it is a yo, and a yes.”

“Yo can Gasm yo up again soon, because I behaving really good now, cause’n Mistress said to yo, don’t do bad stuff.”

“Yes, if everybody behaves themselves and doesn’t do bad stuff, we should all get along very well.”

“Cussee up Blondie …”

“You can call me Elizabeth.”

“I like Blondie.”

“Okay, stick with Blondie.”

“Cussee up Blondie …”

“What?”

“Don’t tell Mistress yo Gasm yo up, cause’n I don’t wanta get in trouble.”

“You won’t get into trouble for, for, errr … what we did.”

“Yo sure?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth replied, “And besides, Aleisha doesn’t own you.”

Giddy looked up bashfully and said, “Shim said shim does.”

“Well, she can’t tell you what you can or cannot do.”

“Shim said shim can.”

“Ummm, ummm, to bring our meeting to a close, I will say that with the confines of your current environment in mind, feel free to do things that you enjoy.”

“Say what?”

“Ohhh, ummm, while you’re down here, feel free to do whatever you want.”

“Errr Blondie, shim said I can’t.”

“I’m sorry, who said what?”

“Mistress; shim say, only do what shim tell yo to do.”

Elizabeth pondered, thinking about the girl, also thinking about the girl’s Mistress, then she asked politely, “So tell me, what exactly has your Mistress been saying to you?”