Alpha Divided
Chapter 18

I'd thought the dreams couldn't get worse. But they did.

I was drowning in the images. I couldn't breathe and my heart was breaking.

Dastien was with Imogene.

Her gaze met mine as I saw them across campus. He was kissing her. His back was to me.

It was worse than a punch to the gut. There was no more air in my lungs. It burned and I couldn't get a breath in.

This was why people cut themselves off from love. This was it. I knew it. It was worse than anything I'd ever felt and I wasn't sure I'd survive.

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, the images changed.

I blinked and we were back in Imogene's room. It was a sty, as always. Clothes piled everywhere. Clean mixed with dirty.

She was putting on her gold necklace; Dastien had given it to her and it had triggered a vision for me once. Now I wanted to rip it from her throat.

I moved toward her, lunging for the gold chain, but the image shifted again, and suddenly she wasn't there.

A moan had me turning around.

They were in her bed. They were...they were...they were...

Wake up! Claudia said.

I blinked. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't catch a breath. The pain-the heartbreak-was still there. Lingering. I couldn't shake it free.

You have to calm down or you're going to make yourself si-

She didn't have to finish that sentence. I ran to the toilet just in time to throw up.

When I stopped, I washed my face. I looked at my reflection. My skin was usually pale, but now it looked ghostly.

Are you okay?

I don't know, I said honestly. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't like it. I've never had such vivid dreams before. I could smell her perfume. I could smell her...as he kissed her. I can't... I took a breath. God. I thought since I was a Were, I wouldn't get sick anymore, but I think I might throw up again.

Claudia reached out to me. Let's get you back in bed.

I shook my head. The thought of going back to that room made me even more queasy. No. I can't go back in there. I don't trust my dreams. I can't take it. Fine. Then come to my bed.

Seriously? I wasn't so sure that was a good idea. What if I got visions in her bed? I was already a mess... I've never slept in a bed with anyone other than Dastien. It sounded lame, but it was the best excuse that I could come up with.

Don't worry. I have a queen-size bed, and I'm not going to try and steal your virtue. She winked. Come on. She pulled me toward her room, and I let her.

It was a nice room. A large bookcase took up one wall. I looked through it and saw mostly classics. All of them were vintage. The smell of vanilla wafted from the pages and they made me wish I could really enjoy an old book instead of buying new all the time. Pretty good stuff you've got here.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed. She climbed into her big four-poster bed. It had way too many pillows. So many that when I got in, my feet nearly extended off the end. Quite an accomplishment for someone as short as me.

One thing. She leaned over me. Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. She traced a knot over my forehead with her pointer finger. There. You'll sleep well now.

You think?

She nodded. It's a protection spell. It's something my mom used to do to me when I was having a hard time sleeping.

Did you have nightmares as a kid?

A lot. But not so much anymore. And I never had one so bad that it made me throw up.

Yeah. I've never felt anything like that before. I didn't know what else to say. It was already a little embarrassing that she'd seen me in such a state. But she was family. Even if I felt like I was only just starting to get to know her. I rolled over and tried to think happy thoughts.

I didn't know if I could take another dream like the last one. My heart couldn't handle the stress. It was too hard.

I said a little prayer as sleep overtook me. God. Send me good dreams.

I woke up to the sound of a car honking. I sat up, going from sound asleep to totally awake in an instant. Claudia's side of the bed was cold, and from the light streaming in the window, it was way past morning.

Two days of total horrible sleep must've really done a number on me. A clock ticked on Claudia's bedside table and I tilted it toward me. 2:45. In the afternoon.

I'd really slept. Claudia's spell thingy must've been the real deal.

I got up and went into the hallway. There was someone downstairs.

-brought the food and-

I knew that voice. Dad! Raphael looked a little startled as I flew down the stairs and jumped into Dad's arms, knocking Dad back a few steps. It was overkill, but the nightmares and everything had left me feeling a little off-center. I missed him. I missed home. I missed a lot of things.

Hey there, baby. He ran his hand down my back. How're you doing?

I pulled away, even though I didn't really want to. I'm okay.

Well, your mother bought the entire grocery store.

I stepped out onto the porch to see her pulling things from the trunk. Mom.

"Reina de mi vida. How are you doing?" She put down everything she was holding and pulled me close to her.

Better now.

Good. Te queiro mucho.

Love you, too. I grabbed the stuff she'd set down. Thanks for this.

Of course, anything for my baby.

We set to the task of putting everything away. Claudia and Raphael made themselves scarce and, honestly, it was really nice of them. Not necessary, but appreciated.

After we had it all unloaded and put away, Mom pulled out a dining chair and sat.

Now tell your mother what has you upset.

I looked between my parents but they were both giving me that look. The one that said I'd better tell them or else. Sure, I was old enough to blow that off, but I didn't want to. I sat in the chair at the end of the table. I've been having nightmares the past two nights and they're sticking with me.

You've had nightmares before.

Not like this.

Dad sat down in between Mom and me. You know, dreams are usually driven by our fears and-

Unless they're visions of the future.

And do you think that's what it is? Mom leaned into Dad as she talked. They were always doing that. Supporting each other. I guessed that was why I felt okay jumping in with Dastien. I was lucky to have a good model of a healthy relationship.

No. I don't think so. They're nightmares. At least some of them are. Others...I don't know. They might be visions. I thought about the battle on the St. Ailbe's quad. Even if I didn't want those to be visions, I thought they might be. But there are ones with Dastien and it's not good.

Dad laughed.

That wasn't the reaction that I was looking for. Glad my nightmares amuse you.

I'm sorry. He sobered a little but the smile was still there. There was a little while when your mom and I were long distance, and she used to have the worst dreams. She'd call me ranting in Spanish. It was completely nuts.

Mom slapped his shoulder. "It wasn't nuts. They were nightmares and they felt real. She shook her head. But your dad is right. My fears were consuming me, and my biggest one was that something would happen to take your father away from me. From cheating to death. I dreamed it all."

Dastien cheating would definitely be a relationship killer. That's exactly it. God. It felt so good to be normal.

Don't worry. Dastien is committed to you. It's just because you're apart and you're an emotional person. Don't give it a second thought.

For the first time since I woke up, I finally felt better. This was totally fine. My fears were taking me for a ride at night, but I just had to tell them to shut the hell up, and all would be good.

My parents got up, and I stood.

The floor came up to meet me. Or more accurately, I met it.

Whoa. Dad crouched beside me. Are you okay?

I sat up and shook my head. God. What is wrong with me? That's the second time I've tripped. And I threw up last night and dropped a plate. What is up with me?

You didn't trip. You fainted, Dad said.

Is it your wolf? Mom asked. Do you need to shift?

No. I should be okay. It takes weeks for that to happen. I paused to think.

Something changed two days ago. I'd been feeling weak ever since. What had changed?

I'd gone to Rosa's. Learned some things.

And Luciana had been in my room.

There were times that coincidences were simply that. But for me lately, nothing was a coincidence.

Luciana had spelled me. Or cursed me. Or had done something else invasive and unforgivable.

I had to fix this. Now. It was time I dug around in her place.

Mom. Dad. Thanks so much for coming, I said as I stood again and managed to stay on my feet. But I think it's best if you go now. They both started protesting as I hustled them out the door. I'm serious. Things are about to get ugly here, and I think you should go. It's safest.

But what about you?

"Don't worry about me. It seems like someone around here has forgotten that I'm an alpha. I'm a bruja. And I've been bullied too much in my life to take it anymore."

Luciana cursed you. They're not just dreams, Mom said. She was a smart lady. I hoped that when I grew up, I was half as good as she was.

Don't. Just go. I'll be okay. I wasn't so sure about that. Luciana had spelled me twice. This time she was completely out of line. She'd broken her side of the bargain, and now I could break mine.