Alpha Divided
Chapter 21

As I pulled through the gates of St. Ailbe's, I was still numb. My hands shook as I grabbed the two jars from the cup holders, and cradled them to my chest. I left the rest of my stuff in the car. I didn't need it. There were two things that I really needed.

A shower and Dastien.

I bumped the car door with my hip, closing it, and as I turned, my breath caught.

Dastien stood at the edge of the parking lot, waiting for me. Meredith, Donovan, Mr. Dawson, Adrian, Chris, and Dr. Gonzales were there, too, but I hardly spared them a glance. Dastien alone filled my vision as he took slow, measured steps toward me. He was wearing a pair of sweats and nothing else, which meant he'd shifted too quickly to go home for clothes.

I walked straight to him and no one said anything. His arms wrapped around me, and I buried my nose in his chest.

He muttered things that I couldn't understand, rubbing his hands up and down my spine. Are you okay?

No. I stepped away from him and started toward the dorm. I didn't pay attention to what anyone was doing. I kept moving. Any questions, any comments fell on deaf ears, as I moved woodenly.

I didn't stop until I got to my bathroom. I closed the door and started the shower. I placed the glowing jars on the counter and stared down at them.

It was like two stars were trapped inside. In the one with my alpha powers, the light flickered and swirled, with a glowing red-orange center and yellow and white along the edges. The energy in the bruja jar shone vibrant blue and green on the outside, with a pure, bright-white center. It looked like they should be burning, but both glasses were cool to the touch.

I took a quick shower, and when I was done, I felt maybe ten percent better. But I couldn't scrub away that oily feeling. I couldn't shove aside the knowledge that something had been stolen, and even if I could get it back, I might never be the same. I'd never trust in the same way again.

The worst part was, I didn't trust myself anymore.

I felt like everything I'd done since the tribunal was a mistake. I tried to let go of my anger and frustration, but it wasn't easy. If only I could learn lessons the easy way...

I reached through the shower curtain for a towel, but found it much closer than it was supposed to be. I peeked out to see Dastien leaning against the wall, holding a towel out to me. I hadn't noticed when he'd come in, which said how out of it I was, but I was glad he was there. I wrapped myself in the towel and got out. The first thing I did was grab the jars.

Dastien watched me without a word as I left the bathroom.

Everyone was in my bedroom. Meredith and Chris stood up from where they were sitting on my bed when I walked in. No one was talking. I was back early, and they knew that I wouldn't be here-not speaking-unless something terrible had happened. They all had to know something was wrong. Majorly wrong.

I didn't have a free hand to make sure the towel was tightly wrapped, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

What's in the jars? Donovan said.

A tear slipped free and I shook my head.

"Chérie. Dastien's voice rolled through me. His body heat warmed me as he stepped close, his chest brushing my back and I closed my eyes. What's in the jars?"

I kept my eyes shut tight as I held up the one in my left hand. I didn't think I could take their sympathy and hold it together. Alpha. I held up the one in my right. "Bruja."

It was quiet for a second before Donovan spoke. She's been stripped.

It was chaos after that. Questions. Arguments about whether or not it was possible. About how it could've been done.

I couldn't handle it. Not then. Especially not in a towel.

I turned to Dastien. Hold them please. Don't break them.

He nodded and took the jars.

I moved to my closet and grabbed some clothes. I'd feel better once I had clothes on. Probably.

I quickly dressed in the bathroom. It was only then-as I brushed my hair-that I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were a dull brown. My skin looked pale and tinged with green. My cheekbones stuck out, and my eyes were sunken in their sockets. I looked sick. Half-starved. Weak.

I put my hair in a loose braid and went back into the room.

-Even if it were possible, it would be black. No one would do that. Not when the cost is so high. It's impossible for-

Believe me, the scent of sulfur and the heat and the fire under my skin-when she dies, Luciana will pay a high price for what she's done. My voice sounded flat even to me. "La Aquelarre is lost. Rupert Hoel is working with them. He's the one who wanted my alpha power. She wanted my witchy stuff. They absorbed some of it into themselves, and drained the rest into these jars. And now I'm left with nothing. My only hope is that when I open the jars, I'll have everything back. That it won't just escape into the world at large, and I'll get back whatever they're still carrying. But we don't have time to research or do anything about it now. Luciana will attack soon, and we need to be ready."

Can we stop it? Meredith said.

It's coming whether we want it or not. The coven never cared about me. I pointed to the jars. That's what Luciana wanted, and she got it. I swallowed. All we can do now is prepare for a fight. I glanced at Dastien. I'm hungry, I think?

Dr. Gonzales stepped forward. You look sick. Can I help?

I shook my head. I didn't want anything from her bag o' tricks. I don't think anything's going to fix this except opening those jars, but I need to hold off until tonight. If I open them now, they'll change their plans. We might not be ready for them next time. Meredith moved aside as I went into my closet, digging through to replace a backpack. The backpack that Claudia and Raphael had given me. I didn't have any potion vials left, but it still had some other weapons.

I unzipped it, and held it in front of Dastien. He carefully put the jars inside. Wait. I should wrap them again. I grabbed a couple of T-shirts, making sure that they were properly cushioned, and then zipped the pack.

My dream of the war on the quad was coming. My gut was telling me that particular nightmare was true, and I had to trust it.

At midnight, the vampires will come. Then the witches. And then the traitors from our own pack. We need to figure out who's good and who's bad. And we need to get ready. Luciana and Mr. Hoel don't know that I saw what's going to happen. I wasn't sure if Mr. Hoel was going to kill me tonight, but it was a strong possibility. Maybe if we were ready, I could avoid it. Maybe not. Can we clear the cafeteria? I want to eat and I want to talk to you, but we can't trust anyone. Not anyone outside this room. Not yet. Donovan nodded. Don't you worry, lass. We'll keep you safe.

I shrugged the backpack over my shoulders and started for the door. That's why I came home.

The cafeteria was pretty much empty, but one growl from Donovan, and the place became completely empty.

I'll get you some food, Dr. Gonzales said. You sit.

I nodded and made my way to our normal table. Dastien took the backpack from my shoulders. I'll take care of the jars, he said as I looked back at him.

Okay. I trusted him more than I trusted myself at this point.

As I sat down, I sighed. It felt like I was getting a little piece of normal back.

Maybe everything wouldn't be okay today or the next day, but we'd get there.

A tray appeared in front of me, and I started eating and telling the story. Everyone stayed quiet at the table, except for a few laughs when I told them about my attempted witchery. Even I could admit that blowing a hole in the roof was pretty funny. So, that's how I ended up here. I'd gone through three trays of food while I was talking. Mr. Dawson sat straight and started to speak, but I held up a hand. A few questions for you guys before anyone says or asks me anything. Please, Donovan said.

"I'm still feeling drained, even with the food I've eaten. I'm not near the gris-gris, but it's still weakening me. I need that gone before tonight. Any ideas?" If I was going to beat Mr. Hoel, I was going to need all the strength I could get. Did you bring it with you? Donovan asked.

Yes. It's in my messenger bag in the backseat of my car. Wrapped in a sock.

We'll burn it. Best way to release whatever's got a hold of you, Donovan said. As for the jars, I do believe setting the power free will bring it back to you. It takes a lot to pull it from you-as you saw. It's contained for now in the jars, but once we break the seals, the power should be yours again. You'll be right as rain.

I stared at the table and swallowed. Dastien reached for my hand under the table. I can barely hear Dastien and I can't talk to him in my head anymore.

It'll all come back. You'll be whole again, Mr. Dawson said.

Will I?

We'll make sure of it.

As one of the Seven, you need to figure out which wolves we can trust, I said to Donovan.

Sebastian has been working on it. It seems Rupert has a good number of wolves supporting him. About half.

That's more than I'd thought, I said. This didn't bode well for tonight.

I thought we fixed the problem wolves months ago, Mr. Dawson said with a frown. The ones who acted out with Rupert were punished, but now...it has to go deeper than we thought. Someone more powerful than him... What about the humans? Chris asked. If there is a war, we're going to need to alert them.

I think telling them now is a bad idea, I said. We're going to have a battle. There are two outcomes, we win or we lose. If we win, then any that get away will lick their wounds before coming back. Luciana said some covens were with her, but I met a witch from Colorado who said her group was with us. Luciana could be full of it, but there will be some who will back her, even if we defeat her tonight. So, we win tonight. Then we slowly out ourselves in a good light to the humans and prepare them for the dangers of the supernatural. Then, when the big war comes, we try to handle it as under the radar as possible. If we lose tonight, then it's all moot. We won't be around to worry about anything.

I flashed back to my vision. The sounds of battle surrounded me. I heard Mr. Hoel yelling at me. I could almost taste the iron of my blood filling my mouth.

Tessa? Dastien asked.

I blinked. I'm fine, I said.

Liar. Tell me what's wrong.

He was right. I wasn't fine, but I couldn't tell him all about my vision. Some things were left better unknown. If he was distracted during the fight, it could cost him his life.

If that nightmare came to pass, then I'd be glad that we hadn't tied ourselves together, and the ceremony was interrupted. Dastien would have to replace a way to survive. I'll be fine. It was less of a lie. One way or another, I'd figure it out. So what's next? You need to rest, Dr. Gonzales said. Let your body heal.

We'll cook up some potions to fight the vamps and we have a few anti-witchy spells I researched while you were gone. One blinds them for a few minutes, so they can't cast anything at someone. Another one is a blocking spell. I can mix those up, Adrian said. I'll grab your stuff from the car, Chris said. "We'll burn the gris-gris in the lab and get started with Adrian's spells."

I checked the time. It was two in the afternoon. But class is still going on?

I'll kick them out, Adrian said. Some things are more important than teaching the freshman metaphyiscs.

He had a point. You'll come to my room? I asked Dastien, but I was sure of the answer.

Of course.

Do you want me to come? Meredith said.

No. I'll be okay. But thanks. I just wanted to be alone. Dastien didn't count though. He was a part of me, even if I couldn't really feel the bond right then.

Dastien wore the backpack as we headed back to my room. I wasn't feeling as sickly as I had been before. But that empty feeling haunted me. I couldn't shake it-wouldn't be able to until those jars were a distant memory.

I climbed into bed without taking off any clothes, and Dastien followed, tucking me to his side.

Sleep. His chest vibrated under my ear.

I'm scared to fall asleep. The dreams-nightmares-were so bad.

None of it will ever come to pass. I won't let it.

He might not have a choice.

I breathed in the scent of him. The forest. The earth. The bit that was just him.

Relax, he said as he untied the band around the bottom of my braid. He ran his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp lightly. You're home now. Sleep.

There was a command in his words, and without my abilities I couldn't even pretend to fight it. My eyelids grew heavy and the world faded from view.