Wednesday 2 December

~*Nat’s POV*~

I had forgotten that I was sitting on a low brick fence when I began struggling to get away from the enormous wolf in front of me.

I suddenly remembered when I toppled backwards off it, landing flat on my back and knocking every bit of air from my lungs.

Momentarily dazed, I tried desperately to get my breath back, before I realised what I had just seen and began to scoot backwards on my back, using my feet to push myself along.

“Nat!” Cody yelled. She darted up and over the bricks and fell onto her knees next to me. “Are you okay?”

Still gasping from the loss of air, I stuttered, “No! No, I am not okay! Definitely NOT OKAY!! What the fuck is going on?! What the hell just happened?” A steady stream of profanities left my mouth as I continued my slow but steady progression backwards. My eyes darted away from Cody and back to where the wolf was now standing.

Where, only moments ago, her mother once stood.

I could barely see the beast from where I was on the ground, but with each shove, more of it came into view. It padded across to the fence and laid its chin on the bricks, watching me quietly.

“It’s okay, Nat,” Cody said, reaching her hand to my arm. “That’s still Mum. It’s just her wolf form.”

I peeled my eyes away from the wolf and glared at Cody. “What the fuck do you mean? Her WOLF form? What sort of trick are you trying to pull on me??” My eyes returned to the wolf, barely blinking as I stared at it. It raised its head, let out a snuffle, then relaxed its head again on the bricks, watching me with intent, but almost sad, eyes.

“Yes, her wolf form. She’s a werewolf,” Cody explained slowly, finally grasping my arm to slow my backwards trajectory. A good thing she did that too, as I suddenly found myself backed against the wall of the building we’d originally come out of.

“What?” I brought my knees up to my chest and huddled down into the smallest ball I could manage without lowering my head. There was no way I was going to be taking my eyes off that thing. No matter what Cody said.

“She’s a werewolf, Nat,” said Cody, still talking softly and slowly. “I am one too, but I can’t shift yet. Everyone here is. We’re showing you because we’re sure you’re one, too.”

Okay, that got me to tear my eyes away from the wolf. I stared at Cody. “What? No, I’m not. I’m human. You’re human.” I shook my head. “This is just a dream. I’m dreaming all of this.”

Cody sighed and slapped me across the face.

“Ow! What the hell did you do that for??” I glared at her. “Fuck!” I rubbed my hand across my cheek where I could feel it smarting from the impact. God, Cody could hit hard.

“You’re not dreaming, Nat. This is all real. What you’re seeing is real. What I’m telling you is real. If you were dreaming, the slap would have woken you up. Now, will you stop with the damn hysterics and let me explain everything to you?” Cody narrowed her eyes at me.

I kneaded my cheek, still trying to ease the sting of Cody’s slap. “Fine,” I grumbled. I would just have to shift my swearing to my inner monologue, where she couldn’t hear me. I needed an outlet; she couldn’t stop me from reacting entirely, damn her.

“I know this is a lot to take in, but you need to listen to me,” Cody began, eyeing me carefully. “This entire community is full of werewolves. There are other communities dotted around the state, and we’re assuming that you come from one close to our borders.”

“Hold up,” I said, raising a hand to stop her from continuing. “How are you so sure I’m one?”

“Mum told me that in your meeting yesterday with Takeshi, he gave you a silver pen,” she explained. I nodded. I remembered that pen. It hurt like a motherfucker when I tried to hold it. “Werewolves are really allergic to anything silver. It burns us. What happened when you tried to use it?”

I widened my eyes. I remembered the burning smell that filled the air after I dropped the pen. That was what had caused it?

“See?” Cody asked. “You wouldn’t have reacted that way unless you were a werewolf. Add that to the fact that we found you naked the morning after a full moon…”

“Wait. What?” I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Once we turn eighteen, a wolf has to shift on the night of the full moon.” Cody paused. “Well… At least until we turn twenty-six...” She drifted off, tilting her head to one side as she thought about what she was saying. Her eyes focused on the middle distance, just off to the side of where I sat.

The huge red wolf huffed loudly. Cody brought her eyes back to me, focusing once more on my face. I couldn’t help but shift my own focus back and forth between Cody and the giant wolf, still seated in front of me behind the fence. The wolf’s jaw clenched as it stared at Cody. It was almost like Cody was annoying it by becoming distracted.

“Right.” Cody muttered under her breath, as though she was bringing herself back on track, before continuing. “For as long as darkness fills the sky, we have no choice but to shift. We can choose to shift at any other time, but the full moon forces us to. That’s why I said earlier that I couldn’t shift yet. I’m turning eighteen in about a week. The next full moon will be my first shift.”

“So… You believe that because I was running around naked the morning after a full moon…”

“That you’re at least eighteen, yes. And that makes you older than me, which means that I can officially call you ‘old woman’ and you can’t yell at me, because it’s true.” She smirked at me.

I blinked as I took that in. What she was saying sounded insane, but made complete sense when you looked at it objectively. “I’m going to ignore that you just called me ‘old woman’ and bring this back to the fifteen million questions I currently have churning through my head,” I said, as I scowled at her. “You just said that werewolves can choose to shift any time. If I were one of you, how would I do that?”

The red wolf whined at the same time Cody sighed. “We’re not sure if you can at the moment,” she said. “Mum said that she can’t sense your wolf.” She paused. “At least after she first saw you, that is.”

“What? What do you mean ‘sense my wolf’?” I asked, baffled. “But she did when she first saw me? What?” I was terribly confused. I couldn’t help but wonder if Auden and Cody had this all completely arse backwards.

“Mum said that she saw your eyes glow when she first went to help you,” Cody explained. “Like this.” Her eyes began to glimmer, then glowed a copper shade for a moment, before returning to her natural green eyes.

I couldn’t help but stare at her with my own eyes open wide. Every time I thought I was getting my head around what she was saying, something else would freak me out again.

“Even though I can’t shift, my wolf is still there. She’s a part of me. She has been since I turned sixteen,” she said. “Her name is Roux.” A grin appeared on her face, before she leaned forward and whispered to me, “Don’t tell her I said so, but she can be a right pain in the arse.”

“… what?” I muttered under my breath, my brain feeling like it was melting. This was all getting a bit much for me to take in.

“Okay...” Cody went right back to explaining, ignoring my frazzled look. “Our wolves are always there. Right from birth, our wolves are a part of us, but they can’t interact with us until we turn sixteen. We think it has something to do with the onset of puberty, but we’re not really one hundred percent sure. There’s research being done to figure it out.”

An even more dazed look must have taken over my eyes as Cody glanced at me and coughed.

“Yeah, sorry. Back on topic,” she said. “So, even though our wolves can’t interact with us until we’re sixteen, they still see what goes on in our lives, right? Roux explained it to me like watching a movie in real time. She could watch everything I did, but she couldn’t participate at all. But that changed when I turned sixteen. Suddenly, I could hear her, and she became a physical part of me. All my senses started getting sharper, and I got stronger. Mum tells me it will continue until I turn eighteen, then it’ll plateau out a little and I’ll have to train to get better.”

I had to admit, that didn’t sound too bad. In fact, it could come in incredibly handy. But there was a problem.

“Shouldn’t I be hearing a voice?” I asked. “If I am what you say I am, shouldn’t I be hearing a voice in my head? Because I hate to tell you, but I’m not hearing anyone inside my head but me.”

Cody sighed. “Yeah. Mum guessed that. She figured you would have said something to her and Takeshi if you could hear your wolf, or your wolf would have made herself known. But because you didn’t, she thinks it has something to do with your amnesia.”

I frowned. “So, I really do have a mental block?”

She nodded. “And it’s not just affecting your memory, but your wolf, too. And we don’t know why. At least, not yet.”

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