Amnesia - The Matlock Pack: Book One
Chapter 54 - Nat

Sunday 27 December

~*Nat’s POV*~

“I’m worried about tomorrow.”

I rolled onto my side to look at Bells. We’d climbed into bed about fifteen minutes prior and had been lying side by side, and hand in hand, in relative silence since. He had barely said a dozen words all weekend, and hadn’t started a conversation once, so this was big.

“I know. I am too.” The moonlight streaming through the window was bright enough that I could see him staring at the ceiling. “Whatever happens, we have each other. And we have Cody. If we run into any hassles, she’ll talk our way out of it like she always does.”

He smiled. “True.” Even though he was obviously trying to be upbeat, he sounded flat and lifeless, not like his usual self at all.

I let the silence drift to see if Bells would say anything further, but nothing was forthcoming. “What exactly are you worried about? If I know, maybe I can help you avoid the situation.”

He clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on my hand. I tightened it back to encourage him. “I don’t know, exactly.” He paused, then continued in a whisper. “He terrifies me, Nat.”

I let my free hand drift over to him and lightly touch his cheek. The swelling had gone down over the course of the weekend, and the stiffness in Bells’ joints he’d suffered yesterday had eased. He still had bruises everywhere, but he was on the mend physically.

It looked like his emotional wounds still needed some work.

“He terrifies me too,” I murmured. “But he can’t hurt you at the camp. There are too many people around for him to try anything.”

“He let me go.” He blinked twice, like he was trying to fight back tears. “I was losing the fight, and we both knew it. He had me. And he let me go.”

I brought the hand I still had hold of up to my lips to kiss the back of it. “You don’t know that.”

“I do. He had total control.” Bells turned his head to face me. “There was nothing I could do. Even Wyatt disappeared on me.” He turned his attention back to the ceiling. “And he’s been so quiet ever since. It’s like he’s left me.”

I stilled. That was something I could help with. Maybe.

“Alex, can you sense Wyatt? What happened?”

“Wyatt froze when the fight was happening. He’s still with Bells, but he’s hiding. He’s ashamed about not being able to help Bells when he needed him most.”

“He’s still there, Bells. He’s just ashamed that he left you to fight Tatum on your own.”

Bells turned to face me again with curiosity. “How could you know that?”

“Alex told me.”

“How could your wolf know that? You’re not pack.” Once again, he returned his eyes to the ceiling, sounding completely resigned.

“I don’t know, Bells.” I reached over again to gently graze his cheek with my finger. “She just does.” I’d given up trying to get answers out of Alex. She kept saying that I didn’t need to know yet. It was infuriating.

Bells sighed. “Maybe Spence is right. Maybe it would be better if I withdrew from the Warrior Training selection.”

I sat up, suddenly angry. “No. Spence is not right. You said being a Warrior has been your dream for years. You’re so close. Don’t give up now.”

Bells let go of my hand and rolled away from me. “What’s the point? My wolf has gone AWOL; I ran from a fight; and I’ve been hiding in here ever since it happened.”

I tugged at his shoulder to get him to turn back towards me. “Don’t you give up on me, Bellamy. Don’t you dare. You know your wolf is still there. And you haven’t been hiding in here. We’ve been under orders to stay here.”

He half turned back to me. “You can’t say anything against me running from a fight, though, can you?” He shrugged, then turned away again. “It’s okay, Nat. I know I’m not a man. Men don’t run from fights.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. This was pissing me off to no end. I climbed over him, straddling his hips, and forced him to roll onto his back. “Bellamy Umar Okoro. You listen to me right now. Don’t you dare give up!”

A look of terror flitted across his face before he locked his emotions down. He didn’t move a muscle underneath me.

My anger disappeared instantly. “Bells?” A feeling of alarm ran through me. Had I pushed him too far?

He grimaced, then let out a ragged, scared breath. “The way you’ve pinned me? This is how he took control of me.”

I closed my eyes briefly in sympathy. It made sense; this was a common move in our sparring sessions. “I’m not him, Bells,” I whispered, my hands on my thighs, but not moving from him. If he wanted to be a Warrior, he needed to get used to this position again.

“I know that. You’re lighter.” He tried to smile at his attempt at a joke, but couldn’t. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” A look of shame crept across his features before he placed one of his arms over his eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said carefully as I reached out to lift his arm from his face, bringing his hand to my lips. “You’ve just been through something, that’s all.” I kissed his palm, holding it in front of me with both of my hands. “You’re still a man.” I placed his hand over my t-shirt clad breast and held it there. I watched his eyes flutter open, making sure that I had his full attention before I continued. “You’re still the man I love.”

I kneaded my breast with his hand under my mine, so he’d get the idea. Once he started to move his hand on his own, I went looking for his other one, bringing it to my other breast once I found it. Again, I encouraged him to move his hand before I removed mine.

“You’re the one in control here, Bells,” I whispered as I leaned into his palms. I slowly moved my hands under the hem of his shirt, lightly skimming the bruises still on his torso. “Total, utter control.”

He let go of my breasts and rested them on my hips. I stopped my hands from their exploration immediately, withdrawing them from under his shirt. “I don’t know if I can ever be in control again.” He kneaded my hips, his thumbs digging into my skin from worry. “I feel like I’ve lost who I was.”

Keeping our eyes locked, I placed my hands over his and gripped them gently. “I’ve got you, Bells.” I tugged my t-shirt from under his hands, removed it and threw it across the room. He let his hands drop from my hips, but I grabbed them and placed them on my bare breasts and held them there. “I won’t let you fall. Let me be your anchor.”

My shoulders slumped as I felt his hands drop again. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle, but I didn’t know what else to do. He was a man. My man. He just needed to be reminded of that fact.

Bells used his hands to get himself into a seated position under me, then wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He nuzzled his forehead into my sternum and simply held me.

I placed a hand on the back of his head and held him in place, letting my other hand caress his back. I stared at the bedhead, wondering if I was doing the right thing or not. My heart ached for him, for the mental anguish he was putting himself through.

We sat like that for several minutes before I felt Bells move his hands. They had been up near my shoulder blades, but slowly they drifted south. I figured it was simply gravity getting the better of him until I felt them come to a rest on my butt and then start kneading.

My hand was still at the back of his head when he turned it to the side. He let out a deep sigh and kissed the side of my breast. I could feel his cock beneath me, growing steadily, reminding me that only my panties and his boxers separated us.

“You have control, Bells,” I whispered, stroking his head gently. Could my encouragement have worked?

He let out a low groan, his head shifting entirely to my breast. He started to lick and suck before he nibbled slightly at my nipple. His hands continued massaging my backside, rolling my hips into him so I could feel his cock nudging me.

“Take my shirt off. I want to feel you,” Bells murmured against my skin before his attention returned to my breast.

I smiled. He finally sounded like the Bells I knew and loved. I tugged at his shirt, lifting it up his chest before he had to let me go so I could get it all the way off him. As soon as he was clear of it, he returned his hands to my butt and his mouth to my breast. I threw his t-shirt in the same direction that I had thrown mine earlier.

As I went to return my hands to his head and back, he picked me up and twisted us both to lay me down on the bed, making sure my head was on a pillow.

He leaned down and brought his lips to mine, his tongue tentatively asking for entry to my mouth. I gladly gave it, letting him explore at his own pace. I felt him nudge my core, his hard cock straining against the material of his boxers, my panties getting wet from the desire running through me.

I moved my hands down his back, running under the elastic of his boxers, before gripping his backside and pulling him to me, encouraging his thrusts.

“I want you,” Bells mumbled into my ear as he rubbed his cheek with mine, stubble lightly scratching at my skin.

“Then take me,” I whispered, tugging him once more into my body.

He growled, one of his hands immediately sliding down the side of my body. His thumb curled around the edge of my panties and pushed down as far as he could take them before letting go. He shifted to the side, leaning on his elbow to keep his weight off me, to let his other thumb hitch the other side of my panties and lower them until they were completely off. He threw them off to the side, not caring where they went.

Letting my knees fall open, I drew him back on top of me, my hands still buried between the skin of his firm butt and the material of his boxers. “Do you want–”

“Rip them if you have to,” he cut me off before leaning down and kissing me hard, his tongue flicking at mine.

I groaned, and moved my wrists away from his waist, catching the elastic of his boxers with my fingers, before pushing them down. He fidgeted, leaned once more to the side, and used a hand to get himself clear of the last piece of clothing that separated us, throwing them in the same direction that he threw my panties.

Panting heavily, he pulled away from our kiss. He looked me directly in the eye. “Are you sure about this?”

“Never been surer.” I grabbed his backside again and nudged him forward. I felt the tip of his firm cock brush past my clit, which only fuelled my desire further. “You have control.”

He moaned, his forehead tilting to mine, before letting his head fall to the side. I felt one of his hands skim my breast, my waist, then my hip, before I felt a passing pressure at my entrance. “I love you Nat.” His hand reappeared next to my side, before he rose above me, then slowly pushed forward, keeping his eyes on me the entire time.

My eyes never left his as I felt myself be pressed back and down onto the mattress as he entered me. As I felt my body tense up at the intrusion, my mouth opened wide, letting out a whoosh of air. My hands were still on his backside and as the pressure of him moving inside me built, I felt my fingers grip him harder, urging him on, while I tried desperately to relax.

Closing his eyes, he let out a deep, guttural groan before letting his head fall next to mine, his stubble once again grazing my cheek. I felt a twinge of pain as his cock continued pressing forward, then retreated slightly. He moved back and forth, pushing forward slightly, then withdrawing. On and on he rocked until I felt his pelvis nudge my hips.

He stopped moving, letting us both get used to the sensation of him being fully seated within me. “Are you okay?” he whispered, raising himself up to look at me. I could see that he was tight with tension, like he was trying desperately to hold himself back from letting loose completely.

I nodded. “I feel so full…” I let out a breath, then sucked in another as I felt him slowly withdraw from me almost completely, then gently push forward again. Holy shit, the friction felt amazing. “Oh, God… Do that again…” I let my eyes close as I felt myself relax with these new sensations. The pulsing I always felt from Bells’ touch was everywhere, inside, and out.

I felt Bells chuckle as he repeated the motion. He wrapped his arms around me while he continued thrusting into me, slowly at first, then faster. On and on he plunged, again and again, faster and faster. I felt the same orgasmic pressure in the base of my stomach building that I had felt previously, a kind of itchy sensation begging to be released. My hands pulled him to me with each thrust in, releasing him as he pulled away. I gasped every time he surged forward, then started to moan as the feelings shifted into something more. “Oh, God… Yes… Yes…”

His groans grew louder with every thrust. “Goddess…” His movements became erratic and mine quickly followed suit. He pushed himself up above me and roared as he lunged forward one final time, holding himself still as I felt him come, his cock pulsing again and again. The feeling pushed me over the edge, and I yelled out as I felt my own orgasm rip through me. My contractions squeezed his cock, and I felt him come yet again. “Fuck…”

He collapsed onto me as we both panted heavily, my hands shifting up his back to hold him to me, his weight comforting me. His cheek rested against mine, stubble scratching me again as our breathing slowed and returned to normal. I felt his cock twitch one last time before either of us moved from our positions. Finally, he slowly withdrew and rolled to the side. “Holy shit…”

“You’re telling me…” I burst into a shocked fit of giggles, which he quickly joined. I rolled to my side and into him, resting my head on his chest with a huge smile on my face. “We are so doing that again.”

He grinned as he held me close, a look of sheer joy and peace appearing on his face. “I’ve never done that before. I wonder if it’s always like that.”

I raised my eyebrows. “That was your first time?” I let my fingers dance slowly across his collarbone.

He nodded. “You don’t believe me?” His hand drifted over my back like a feather as his smile grew wider.

“You seemed to know what you were doing.” I tapped my fingers softly on his chest to drive my point home.

He laughed. There’s the man I remembered. “Not a clue.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “But I’m happy to explore what else I don’t know any time you’re ready.”

Laughing, I nuzzled his chest. “We should probably get some sleep.”

“Probably,” he said reluctantly, his fingers still wandering aimlessly across my back. “Although I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to sleep after that.”

I chuckled as I got up to get a drink of water from the ensuite. As I moved, I felt a fresh wetness appear at my core. I frowned but kept moving to the bathroom, where I grabbed a washcloth. I stared at the blood on it. “Uh… Bells?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think you were the only one that had their first time tonight.”

I heard a rustle as he got off the bed and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. “Why do you say that?”

I held up the washcloth silently and watched his reaction in the mirror.

“Oh…” he said softly. He held me tighter and kissed my neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” I stretched a little to take stock of all my limbs and joints. “A little sore maybe, but nothing major.”

“Do you want to have a shower? That could help.”

I leaned my head against his, letting my eyes close as the idea percolated. “Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

He kissed my cheek and opened the shower screen for me, nudging me forward, before following me in. He washed me carefully from head to toe, not letting me lift a finger. As soon as he was satisfied, he barrelled through his own shower, laughingly batting my hands away from him as I tried to help. Admittedly, my version of ‘helping’ consisted more of trying to repeat our last shower encounter than actually washing him, but I swore that the intent was there.

He wrapped a towel around me to soak up most of the water before he picked me up and sat me on the ensuite bench. He held my face steady while he kissed me, his tongue eagerly exploring my own. I absently patted a towel on him to dry him before I wrapped my legs around his waist and drew him into me.

Before things progressed too far, Bells reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. “We need to sleep…”

“Fine…” I groaned, resigned to our fate.

He chuckled. “If we wake up early enough, we could pick up where we left off…” He raised a cheeky eyebrow as he pulled away from me, dragging me off the bench and back to bed, towels discarded on the journey.

Once we were back in bed, the comforter draped haphazardly over us, I snuggled into Bells’ arms as he held me from behind. I covered his arms with mine and brought one of his hands to my lips to kiss.

“I’m glad my first time was with you.” He nuzzled me behind my ear, breathing me in. “I love you, Nat.”

“So am I, Bells.” I kissed his hand again and sighed. “I love you too.”

Soon enough, I heard his breathing slow, his hold on me relaxing, as we both drifted off to sleep, secure in each other’s arms.