Balance (Book 9 )
chapter 42

Anubis’s anger still burned within. I reached to touch his arm and be near him.

“I am well, wife.” He turned to me, “I could not be more proud of you. You truly are a work of art.”

I flinched under those words. “Please do not call me that.”

“What is it?”

“It brings painful memories of lies and deceit. You said those words to me on our last cruise to Egypt just before you revealed yourself to me. Kebachet used those very words against me in your throne.” He was more like Anubis than I knew. I only had room in my heart for one, and he sat beside me.

“I am truly sorry. I have wounded you.” Anubis said with a plea, I rarely hear from him. It truly grieved him that he inflicted unnecessary emotional pain.

“You did not wound me, husband. I am still here. My love for you only grows stronger. It will take time to heal from Kebachet’s betrayal.” I paused for a moment, “Anubis, I know you asked me not to question you; however, I noticed things that worry me.”

“Do not do that again. You are connected to me and so share my thoughts. Remember your studies Anput. The other gods’ thoughts do not belong to you. Atum is our creator. You will respect him.”

“I will do as you ask. There were those who feared me, and Atum was not honest. I will not tolerate lies, no matter who they are from. What happened during my sleep?”

Anubis turned to me with darkened green eyes. His frustration with me was evident.

“Anput…” He began, then paused.

’It is time, master.’

His whole demeanor changed before my eyes. He became mighty and kingly and voided of emotion.

“Listen to me carefully. What I am about to tell you will grieve you. Do not give in to your grief. There will be consequences if you do not control yourself.”

His voice matched his godly presence. I have never seen him this way. He was never cold as a master vampire or when he taught Kebachet lessons while he was young. Anubis completely detached himself from me. He became a god who spoke to one of his subjects. It worried me that he would go through such extremes before he told me what happened. He was preparing for my reaction, which also frightened me.

I looked away from him, “Perhaps it is best I do not know.”

“Look at me, Anput” His cold voice demanded.

I did as he asked. Piercing, green eyes held my gaze. “You have had a transformation similar to when you ascended to godhood. Your memory stops the day you took China. You became deaf, and you felt death’s call. Instead of allowing your soul to go, you cut it in half and cast out, the goodness in you, into the vale between the god’s realm and the realm of the living.

“Your madness festered and blackened the half that remained in your body. It was you who finished your task. You freed your own soul and killed the death knight who claimed you. In your madness, you attacked and nearly killed Nut. You would have killed Geb if he was not connected to the earth. His pain was the earth’s pain, and so you could not attack him.

“In order for your two souls to reconnect and become whole, you had to die. And so Life struck you dead. Once your souls merged, Life commanded your heart to beat.

“You are not the same as before, Anput. Your soul may be too tainted to cross over to bardo if that day ever comes. You have found a perfect balance within you. You are neither good, nor evil.”

Anubis watched me carefully as I process what he said.

I wished to look away from him. My heart pounded as Anubis held my gaze. I could not sense it; however, I knew there would be a powerful stench of fear permeating off me. It is not often Anubis scares me, or I am unable to control my fear in the face of my enemy. This was different. “Who wielded Life?”

He studied me a moment deciding if he should tell me. His eyes bore into me uncomfortably. I could not remember a time I felt so undeserving of his love and disconnected from him. I felt as though I was a mortal seeking council from a mighty god. I wished to look away, but his gaze held me.

“I was the one who struck you.” His voice was so cold and matter of fact. I could see Set’s personality come forth only much worse. Anubis had completely locked his love away from me and prepared for an outburst he expected would not end well. I saw my god for who he really is. I felt a chill go through my spine.

No. Anubis has a warm and kind heart. I have won his love. This is a shield similar to one I used to wear as a vampire matriarch.

I sat silently with him for a time. I tried to process what was revealed to me. I should be outraged and sickened to know that I tried to kill two gods. I should feel some type of remorse for causing Anubis to end my life. That could not have been easy for him to do.

I wounded him and alienated the counseled. No wonder there were mixed reactions among the gods. I felt nothing. I felt justified in my actions to correct an unwarranted attack. I was thankful that Anubis still continued to love me even though I behaved poorly.

“Walk with me?” I asked and gazed into his eyes.

His presence changed, and I saw my husband stand before me. He silently stood, and I turned into Lara’s image. I waited until Gabriel stood before me. I could read his emotions better this way. He was grieving in his own way, but he was still striking to look at and commanding.

I took his hand and traveled to the western part of the world where our tree stood. The entire area, as far as I could see, was barren. I could not hear any traffic or people laughing. Everything has been destroyed. The only living souls that exist are now in Egypt. I reached up and touched the tree’s sharp bark lovingly.

“Thank you for protecting it.” I said to Gabriel.

“I must make sure your vows to me continue binding you.” He said playfully.

“And yours. Do not forget you are bound to me with vows in this tree.” I returned sarcastically.

Gabriel touched the tree with his hand over mine. I could see passion coming from him as he remembered the last time we were here. He made a promise to feed the tree once I was well.

His body came closer to me. I try to take my hand away from the tree, but Gabriel held me there. His free arm encircled my waist as he pulled me to him. He buried his face into my neck, took a deep breath, and let out a sigh. He turned me around to face him, releasing my hand and holding my chin to look into my eyes. His piercing green eyes glowed with passion. His body was inches from mine as he slowly bent in for a kiss. I could feel his restraint from losing himself in his desire.

His kiss was deep and demanding. His body stayed a hair length from me, making me lean on the tree. I began unbuckling his belt hungrily to gain access to him. His hand slowly slipped down to mine and gently brought it above my head. He nibbled on my neck and roamed my body with his other hand, so slowly and gently, I began to relax under him. The warmth of his body called to me. I desired his flesh on my flesh.

His fangs brushed my ear. “Accept my love only, my pet. Do as I please.” He whispered.

The whisper sent a chill through my spine and caused the familiar knots in my stomach to form. I moved my free hand under his shirt, feeling his tight muscles. His hand forcefully grabbed my wrist and slowly pinned it near my other hand above my head.

“Remember your training. Pay attention to me alone.” A deep rumble came out like a purr causing my desire to drip with need.

I opened my mind to him, and the world disappeared, and only Gabriel was in my mind. My heart and soul belonged to him. I offered my body to him to take. He deserved his desire and more.

He freed a hand, then roamed my body and lifted a leg to his hip. He entered sweetly and nibbled on my neck and kissed my lips. His body became tense as a chill ran down his spine. He let his aggression loose as his hand went to my throat and threatened to close my airways. His thrusts became demanding. The tree bark started tearing into my skin. The pleasure I gave him could not be compared to anything. He felt the warmth and the hug and caress from my body as he visited for an eternal kiss.

Gabriel’s skin burned with excitement as he continued willing his passion to mount. The bark broke through my skin. I moaned with love and ecstasy, willing Gabriel to take his pleasure. He continued until blood ran freely down my back.

Gabriel changed positions and laid me on the ground and locked eyes on me, watching the struggle I had to keep myself for him alone. It intoxicated him, and he fed on it hungrily. His thrusts became more demanding, and a hand came to my neck. Blood pooled under me from the wounds.

“Give me your love, Lara.” He commanded. His voice was cold and threatening. There would be consequences if I failed him.

I began moving with him and allowing my body to take its pleasure. He pinned my hips down and continued in his signature trusts.

The denial frustrated my body. I took my hand and messaged myself until I could feel the burning in my ankles travel to my hip. Gabriel’s hand held me there, allowing the spasm to stop, then he spilled his seed on top, mixing my desire with it. Gabriel’s green eyes locked onto mine as he bit into his wrist, then took my hand wet from our desire and laid it in the pool of blood.

The tree groaned, and brilliant blue and green veins lit up and traveled the trunk up through the leaves. Joy filtered through our hands. The beauty of it took my breath away. I dearly missed times like these.