Small towns were complicated in the strangest way. There was an easiness when you lived in a place where everyone knew one another.
You felt safe.
Protected.
Everyone looked out for one another.
It was nothing like the city. The hustle and bustle. Bumping shoulders as you passed on a crowded street. Horns honking and noise surrounding you at all times.
But Doc Dolby calling me long after I’d taken my bath and settled on the couch with the new book I’d picked up from the cutest bookstore in town, Love Ever After, had caught me off guard. He’d asked me if I had Gatorade in case Cutler woke up during the night, and this was definitely a small-town thing.
No one in the city would request this.
They’d DoorDash or Uber Eats it. Or there was always Amazon Prime. You could have drinks, snacks, and over-the-counter medication at your door within an hour. You didn’t rely on the kindness of your neighbors because you barely knew them.
But what was I going to say? No? Of course not. I was always prepared for what could happen.
Vomiting and puking—I had plenty of hydration liquids stocked in my pantry.
Headaches—I was well stocked with migraine meds and chocolate.
Periods—I always kept plenty of tampons and pads in my bathroom.
I had clothing for every kind of weather that could come my way. I’d always been this way. So, of course, I had Gatorade to spare.
It was my job, for God’s sake.
But was I prepared to see Nash standing there with his muscled bare chest for a second time? To get a real up-close view of that deep V that led down to his happy trail?
Hells to the no.
I’d been engaged to a man who had been in fabulous shape, but he didn’t look like this. Nash was masculine and manly.
And ridiculously sexy.
It should be illegal to look this good.
Collin worked out hard; his entire body was waxed and free of any hair. And he loved to flex as he looked at himself in the mirror. It was a different vibe. Not to mention the fact that our sex life had sucked for the past year, but it all made sense now.
How ravenous could he be with his fiancée when he was banging her maid of honor on the side?
All the puzzle pieces had fallen together.
“Are you all right?” he asked, with a light chuckle as he leaned against the doorframe. One arm up, abs on full display, and a wicked grin on his face.
My eyes snapped back up when I realized I’d been caught staring. “Am I all right? Of course, I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be all right? Are you all right? You’re the one with a sick kid. I’m just the neighbor, relaxing at home. I’m good. No. I’m great.”
Dear God. Please make it stop.
This was what I did when I was nervous. I rambled. It was something that always annoyed Collin. He said it made me seem young and unprofessional. Apparently, I’d embarrassed him at a corporate dinner once, and he’d reminded me every time we went out with his work friends after that. He’d always say the same damn thing.
“Less is more. If you don’t have a sensible answer, just say nothing.”
Maybe I should have come up with a saying for him.
“If you can’t keep your dick in your pants, don’t get engaged to your girlfriend.”
Nash barked out a laugh. “Well, we’ve established that you’re okay, then.”
“Yes. I wasn’t planning on chatting,” I said, looking down at my attire, suddenly mortified that I wasn’t wearing a bra. I sure as hell wasn’t planning to see him. I was just going to set this on the porch and hurry back home. Was he standing next to the door when I’d knocked? How the hell did he get there so quickly, anyway?
“I think you look great.” He smirked.
“Okay. I’m going to leave now.” I started walking backward on his porch. “Is Cutler okay?”
“He’s fine. He vomited more than I thought humanly possible. But he’s sleeping now.”
“Well, if he wakes up, you’ll have everything you need.”
His heated gaze was moving down my body, and the feel of his eyes on me was overwhelming. I needed to get out of here. I started to turn, just as my foot missed the step, and it all happened in slow motion.
I tried to right myself, but it was too late. My arms went out, hoping to break my fall, as I literally tumbled into his bushes and then rolled into his front yard.
In the least graceful way possible.
Before I could even sit up, Nash was beside me, gripping my shoulders and laughing hysterically.
“Are you okay?” he asked, trying to speak over his laughter.
“Is this funny to you?” I snarled.
“You literally just sprawled across my bushes and tumbled into the front yard. It’s a little funny.”
Before I could respond, he had one hand beneath my legs and the other behind my back as he easily lifted me into his arms.
“What the hell are you doing? Put me down right now!” I shouted.
“Stop yelling. You’ll wake Cutler.” He carried me up the steps and across his porch before walking into his house. He set me on his kitchen counter as he leaned forward, arms gripping the cold stone I was sitting on as he met my gaze. “You brought us the drinks; the least I can do is clean you up.”
“No. The least you could do is not laugh and instead ask if I’m okay.” I tried hard to cover my smile because it was pretty funny, even if I wouldn’t admit it.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, as he pulled a bag of frozen peas from his freezer and handed it to me, before moving to the drawer beside the sink and grabbing a towel. He ran some water over it and wrung it out and then walked back over and dabbed at my bare legs.
“I’m fine. I’m not hurt. And I’m a doctor, remember? I can take care of myself.” I tried to grab the towel from his large hand.
My God. Everything was large on this man. He was tall. His shoulders were broad. His arms were muscled, and his thighs were thick. And I could only imagine what lay beneath those joggers of his.
“Stop fighting me, woman. Why are you so stubborn?”
“Well, I barely know you, and you just acted like a caveman, with the way you picked me up and carried me inside. I’m not some damsel in distress.”
The man clearly didn’t get offended easily because he just flashed me that sexy smirk before returning his attention to my knee. “You’ve got a little cut here. Let me get you a bandage.”
He moved to the cabinet beside the refrigerator, and I didn’t argue this time. He was clearly determined to patch me up from my mortifying experience, and I wasn’t in the mood to fight anymore.
I’d been so angry these last few months, and I was tired.
Tired of feeling betrayed and blindsided. Tired of feeling all this anger that I couldn’t release.
He tore off the paper and looked me in the eye. “You barely know me, huh? What do you want to know? You already know that I’m a single dad, and I told you about Cutler’s mother. Hit me with whatever you want. We’re neighbors, and you shouldn’t feel like you can’t come into my house because you don’t know me well enough. You’re my son’s doctor, after all. We should be friends, right?”
“I shouldn’t have said that. It was rude. I’m just not used to a man picking me up and carrying me around.” I shrugged.
He moved forward after placing the bandage on my knee, and he stood between my legs, catching me off guard again. His face was so close to mine that I couldn’t move. “What are you used to, Emerson?”
Great question. What am I used to?
Bad sex. Zero loyalty. Lies. Betrayal. Need I say more?
My eyes zoned in on his plump lips. His gray eyes bored into mine. And I wanted to feel his mouth on mine. His lips. His tongue. I wanted to press my body to his bare chest and feel his arms wrapped around me.
His warm breath tickled my cheek. The tip of his nose grazed mine.
He was so close I could taste him.
Mint and pine and masculine, sexy man.
My hands moved to his chest, desperate to feel his muscles beneath my fingertips.
To feel something.
Anything.
It had been so long.
So long since I’d felt wanted.
This longing ache lay heavy on my chest.
I. Want. Him. To. Kiss. Me.
And just when I thought the night couldn’t get any more embarrassing, he startled and pulled back. His thumb traced over my cheek, when I realized a tear had escaped my eye.
Scratch that. Multiple tears had escaped my eyes.
I was crying.
I was freaking crying after eating shit in his front yard.
Could this night get any worse?
“Hey. Are you okay?” The concern in his eyes had my chest squeezing.
I pushed down off the counter to stand and swiped at my face. “Yes. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here. I just—I need to go. Thanks for the bandage.”
He narrowed his gaze, and I turned to leave.
I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.
What the hell was that?
He’d almost kissed me. And more alarming—I’d wanted him to.
I shook my head after I ran through the yard and walked through my door. Winnie was still lying on the couch in a ball, and she lifted her head.
“Don’t judge me, Winiford,” I said, as I moved to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine.
My phone vibrated on the counter, and I picked it up.
Unknown Number
Hey. It’s your neighbor, Nash. Just making sure you’re okay.
Hey. How did you get my number?
I chewed on my thumbnail, thrilled that for the first time in months, an unknown number was from someone I wanted to talk to. I decided to change his contact info so I’d have it saved. I liked to put people in under names that I’d remember. I thought it over before I came up with a good name for him. The heart was my favorite organ that I’d studied in medical school, and the fact that it was his name, and he claimed it only beat for his little boy… it was the sweetest thing I’d ever heard.
Beating Heart
I ask if you’re okay and you reply with a question about me having your number? <eyeroll emoji>
Sorry. I’m fine. Maybe just a little embarrassed.
I picked up my wineglass and took a sip.
Beating Heart
Nothing to be embarrassed about. That fall was epic. You ate shit and landed in a bush, followed by an Olympic-worthy dismount and roll into the grass.
Beating Heart
I texted Doc Dolby and thanked him for having you bring over those drinks for Cutler, and asked for your number so I could thank you.
You didn’t tell him that I did some fancy gymnast move off your front porch?
Beating Heart
Nah. I thought I’d save that to torture you with.
Good to know.
Beating Heart
I hope I didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have stood so close, and I apologize if I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have crossed.
Stop. That wasn’t it. I wasn’t embarrassed that you were standing close. I’m not afraid of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.
Beating Heart
So what was with the tears?
I took another sip of wine and thought it over. I had nothing to lose. I wasn’t staying here. I’d avoided talking about it for so long; maybe it would help to actually get it out. But I also didn’t want everyone in town to know my story. Nash didn’t strike me as a gossipy guy, though. I moved to the couch, wineglass in hand, and dropped down beside Winnie.
Beating Heart
Did I freak you out again? Do you have a thing against crying?
No. I was getting myself a glass of wine and moving to the couch. But I wouldn’t say I’m particularly proud that it appeared you were about to kiss me and then pulled back because you thought I was crying.
I chuckled because I knew that would get a response.
Beating Heart
Oh, I thought you were crying, huh? Those weren’t real tears, Chadwick?
They weren’t real tears. I think they were probably just a sign of my enemies leaving my body.
Beating Heart
Wow. That’s heavy. Tell me more.
I’m kidding. Listen, it’s complicated. I think I got lost in the moment for a minute, and it felt good to feel that. It’s been a while.
Beating Heart
I can’t imagine it being more complicated than the fact that I have a kid with a woman who bailed. Shit happens to all of us. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about it. My life is far from perfect.
I let out a deep breath and took another big gulp of wine.
What are we, friends now? I thought you couldn’t stand me.
Beating Heart
I think I stopped being annoyed by you fairly quickly. We can be friends if you want.
Are you sure you want to be friends with an outsider? I don’t live here, and I’m not staying.
Beating Heart
I’m more than aware. But I can’t sleep because I’m worried Cutler will wake up and get sick, so I’m sitting in his room on the La-Z-Boy chair. Entertain me, friend.
Fine. Prepare yourself.
Beating Heart
I’m on pins and needles.
You’re hilarious.
Beating Heart
And you’re deflecting. Tell me what you’re running from. Why you came here. I know you’re leaving, so you’ve got nothing to lose. We won’t even remember each other this time next year. <winky face emoji>
For someone who is determined to forget about me, you sure are interested in my story.
Beating Heart
Spill it, woman.
I don’t want anyone to know my business, so if you repeat it, I’ll deny it and then egg your house.
Beating Heart
I promise not to share anything aside from my Nest camera footage of you eating shit in my yard.
Deal.
My fiancé, the Stanford boyfriend, whom I started dating my senior year in high school and all through college and medical school, cheated on me, and we called off the wedding. Are you happy now? That’s the big secret.
Beating Heart
Of course, I’m not happy. I knew he was a dick. I could feel it in my bones when you mentioned him.
So you’re a psychic now?
Beating Heart
Who did he cheat on you with?
My maid of honor.
Beating Heart
Oh, shit. You got a two-for-one deal. You found out that they were both assholes, so maybe you got lucky.
I think that’s probably true. And it’s been a few months, and I’m definitely over the sadness of it. But when I thought you were going to kiss me, it just made me realize it had been a while since I felt like anyone wanted to kiss me. And that is my strike three…
Beating Heart
Meaning?
I fell in your yard. I cried when you were about to kiss me. And then I admitted that no one has wanted me since I called off my wedding with my loser ex. Three strikes. Drop the mic. I’m going to bed.
Beating Heart
Hey, Chadwick?
I’m already sleeping.
Beating Heart
That kiss would have been fan-fucking-tastic.
I sighed and pushed to my feet and padded my way down the hall to my room.
How could those six little words terrify me so much?
I think it’s best we don’t go there. I’m here to figure out what to do with my life, not make it more complicated.
Beating Heart
Trust me, I’ve got no room in my life for complications. Let’s write it off as a moment of weakness. Sweet dreams, Dr. Chadwick.
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