BLUE IRIS
Chapter 18

Colt

"YOU OKAY in there?" I checked them since they suddenly went silent.

Earlier, Iris gulped when I pointed at the dirtbike. She said she rode a bicycle when she was a kid, but never on a motorcycle. We didn't have a choice-either we walk or ride using this thing-and this was a matter of life and death. The longer we stayed here, the closer those bastards of replaceing us.

I was still suppressing my pent-up emotions, and I couldn't afford to put their lives in danger. I used to handle physical pain, but not from the heartache.

Tears already dried in my eyes, but the pain in my chest was still fresh-it was unbearable, and I didn't want to go through that over and over again. It felt like someone knifed my heart and left me slowly bleeding. It fucking hurts! That moment she floated inside the car crash, I thought I'd died there, but the excruciating pain I felt was a constant reminder that I was still alive, bearing the excruciating pain. That moment, I knew that I was in love with Iris. "Hell yeah! Better than walking." Gael yelled. I was thankful despite him losing a leg, he was able to fight back and saved our lives while I was trying to resuscitate Iris.

Laughing out loud, she said, "My thighs are numb. It's noisy, but I like the feeling of the wind blowing my face." Her voice vibrated through me as her body pressed against my back, and her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. She was sandwiched between me and Gael, and the warmth of her skin reminded me she was still with me and very much alive.

"Just hang on tight. We can take a rest once we get a little bit far. We might need a gas along the way." I checked the fuel gauge. "This doesn't take us back to our camp."

"I don't mind. The bike is a running dryer!" And that made Gael laugh. It was true-our clothes dried on our skin, and even my eyeballs—they itched.

As we ventured through the endless road for hours, we had not passed by any kind of vehicle. We had no choice but to hang on into this for the time being until Iris sighed behind me.

"What is it, twig?"

"I'm worried about them."

"They'll be fine. They can take care" Before Gael could finish his words, he shouted, "A car is coming!"

I quickly turned off the road. The dirtbike jumped against the bumpy weeds, and I almost lost my balance as the weight lessened on my back, causing it to get rougher-Gael perhaps fell or jumped off the bike because I could feel Iris was still with me.

I instantly turned the engine off and kicked the stand. Iris hopped off hurriedly.

"It's them!" Gael shouted, limply running back to the road.

Shit!

As I turned the bike around, he was waving toward the passing car while Iris stood-still in her place.

"Stay here and keep your head down. I'll be right back." I pulled out my pistol and off the safety.

Tires screeched from a distance, and I realized what Gael was saying was Darick's SUV. My heart was pounding wildly when it stopped in front of us. Something was off. Something happened back at the camp. I hoped it was not bad, or so God helped us.

I gulped, feeling my throat clogged. Watching Gael's shoulders sagged told me only one thing-this was not good. Darick jumped off the car and Lois followed, running toward Iris. Frost stayed on the driver's seat, acknowledging us with a short nod.

"What happened?" Gael asked, face masked with worries. He knew exactly that something was wrong, and it was showing crystal clear on their faces.

"You all look like shit," Darick blurted out as he shook hands with Gael.

"I'm glad you're all okay. I was worried. We all are." Lois squeezed Iris in a hug. The moment she pulled herself away, tears were running down her face. She then came to me, her brown eyes inspected my face. "You're hurt." "I'm fine." I gave her a subtle nod. I couldn't even think of what to ask first, and this definitely didn't look like a search or either a welcome home party.

Lois wiped off her tears, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Guys, get in the car. Let's get out of here!" Frost popped his head out, waving at us.

"Glad you made it." Darick shook my hand and gripped it tightly as if he was sending me a message. He was already carrying our duffel bag he took from Gael. "We'll talk in there." He gestured to the car, not anymore meeting my gaze. Darick and Gael settled at the back while Lois and Iris were in the middle. I chose the passenger seat and let Frost continue driving.

The silence stretched out inside the car, and none of us wanted to break it-that was what I thought. We needed to process. We needed a moment.

We headed forward-obviously without destinations. From silence to the tension, and dragged into the sadness, and the only emotion filling the car, and it was harder to breathe and to even think. One thing I knew for sure, that what we left behind, we couldn't go back there anymore.

Darick cleared his throat. "We can't go back to the camp," he started. "Uh, Frost, would you like to tell them?"

Frost shook his head with a single flat no.

Darick gulped, replaceing himself hard to start. And I wished I didn't have to hear this, either of us, but I knew none of us could run away, and we had to face it eventually. "Okay. There was a group of men who came knocking to our camp. Lois, the Fischers, and the Hamids were the only people there. Frost and I were still looting when they arrived. Lois said those men offered some goods and sweet talks to Anna and Fischer, pretending they were Iris' brother's comrades and wanted to meet her." He then ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at Frost. "Come on, man. Do the talking."

Frost remained stoic, staring at the road ahead of us. I knew there were a lot of things going on in his mind, and I could feel it he took all the blame to himself.

"I was in the garden when I saw them walked in. I watched them, maybe six or seven men discreetly. The Fischers were ecstatic with the offer and said, Iris would be glad to see her brother's friends. God, how could they easily believe them?" Lois cried in dismay. "They asked where Iris was, and Anna told them without hesitation that you went to trade."

"I shouldn't have told Fischer about the trade, but I swore transparency among us. He was the one who listed the things I took for the trade," Gael said with regret, blaming himself.

"Anna was overwhelmed with the offer. They came in carrying a lot of boxes to the camp, then suddenly, I heard a gunshot. I watched Anna fell to the ground." Lois shook to sob. Iris gasped and froze for a moment with the guilt glinted in her eyes.

Iris wrapped her arms around Lois as she cried with her. "Oh, my God! I'm so sorry." I watched her tears rolled down her face, and so as Lois.

"A-And I couldn't help her. T-Them. I just watched her, Iris, then the kids ran toward their mom and cried there then, t-they shot them, too. They're just kids. My God, they're evil." Lois hiccuped, and I imagined what they did to Ashley and Ashton in horror.

"They burned the camp down," Darick added.

Jesus Christ!

I was beyond shock. Like the puzzle with missing pieces, I could see it now the whole picture as everything was clicking back together that was their message that they would kill as many as they wanted just to get to Iris. They didn't care how many lives they took, and I felt the sick in my stomach at that thought.

I gritted out curses, but it didn't help out lessen the anger deep inside me. My rage surged me for revenge.

Since I learned about what they did to Iris, all I wanted was to hunt them down, but it was damn frustrating that I didn't have the power to do that.

Before Iris, all I wanted was to survive. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I wanted to protect the group with my life before my brother died. Yeah, I wanted that, but because we protected each other. When Colt died and Iris crashed into my life, everything changed. For the first time in my life, I found my purpose; I wanted to give her a safe shelter, I wanted to see the smile on her face every day, I wanted to protect her from the people who wanted to harm her. And I wanted her in my life, and in order to that, I had to eliminate each and everyone who was after her.

"This is all because of me. I need to surrender."

"What?" We exclaimed in a chorus and turned to Iris.

The car stopped to a halt.

Lois' eyes widened with pure shock, freeing herself from Iris. Darick and Gael glanced at her as if she'd gone insane.

With eyes bulged out in anger, Frost turned to face Iris. "I will knock you unconscious and tie your limbs tight, gag you, and place you somewhere where no one can replace you if you will ever say that again, do you fucking hear me?" Iris looked taken aback, certainly not expecting she would see that kind of reaction from Frost. "Did you not get it? They hurt people, they killed our group, they burned down the camp. I didn't know if the Hamid family survived or not. I'm glad you're all safe, but Colton and Gael almost died because of me. They threw us into the river for God's sake! And you still want to protect me? It's just one life versus many!"

Helpless, I just leaned my arm against the window and rubbed my temples. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. So many scenarios were swimming in my head, but none of them was a help. I felt weak. My heart ached including my body and my bones, and I felt like wax under the fire, slowly melting down helplessly.

I failed.

Again, I failed them.

With all my strength left, I pushed the door open and practically crawled down. My hands and legs were trembling of fear of fear of something out of my control of losing Iris-of losing the only family I had left. Iris and Frost followed.

I just watched Iris and Frost engaged in an intense argument, and I couldn't fucking talk like I lost my tongue, my voice.

"And then what? You wanna be a hero, huh, twig? Well, let me spell it out for you, Iris. Heroes die. Look at the fucking world around you, no one remembers heroes anymore. No one cares! You don't get a goddamn statue at the museum, or you won't even be remembered, and no one appreciates shits anymore. This is not a fucking fantasy that you'll get a chance to live again. Just open up your goddamn mind for a fucking second, for God's sake! This is our lives now that we have to face!"

"I don't want to be a hero. At least let me save you, guys. I just want to do the right thing here. They will leave you alone once they got me, and they wanted me alive, so we might "

"Jesus! Listen to yourself for once. Do you really think that's the right thing to do? Saving our asses? How about you? And what makes you think they will hold at the end of the bargain once they have you? They're fucking murderers, and murderers don't care! They're liars and manipulative, and a bunch of psychopaths!" Frost's eyes protruded as he launched into Iris, gripped her little arms, and shook her to make his point.

"If that's the only thing to do to save you all."

I gulped, feeling the bile rising in my throat as I met her pleading gaze. She looked broken and lost just like we all were. I had to lean on the hood to keep myself from standing still.

"For fuck's sake, Snow, say something! Grow some balls, man, and tell her that her suicide plan is insane!" Frost threw his hands in the air out of frustrations.

My arms were vibrating with anger as I stood in heavy silence. My ragged breathing was the only sound I could hear as I pushed out their voices out of my head. I needed to think, but even I thought of that, I knew it was much easier said than done.

Brother, promise me you'll stay alive and replace your purpose.

"What can I say? She doesn't care about us like we thought she did." I caught my lip between my teeth harder to stop trembling. Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to scream, but it seemed that I lost my fucking guts, and I couldn't grasp a strength if ever I had left to voice out my emotions into words.

"That's not true. Do you think I want to go back there? I am doing this for all of you," Iris pointed out.

"If she cares as she told me then she should think about how we feel if she turns herself in. How would we feel if they hurt her and if we would ever get a chance to see her again." I shrugged. "I think what she said to me was bullshit, and I shouldn't have believed in her in the first place." I got back inside the car and slammed the door with an overwhelming sense of dread.

Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts like hell!

I could see her standing still there wearing a pure shock on her face. She was still crying-her tears kept falling like streams. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as I was afraid that if I blinked I would not see her again.

I was scared that despite our protest, I couldn't change her stubborn mind and still chose what she believed was right.

And I'd never been so fucking scared in my entire life until today.