I’M A MONUMENTAL IDIOT, but I can’t bring myself to care.

I’m behind on my homework and laundry and studying for that chemistry test. My stomach is rumbling, and I feel sticky; I’m in desperate need of a shower. Above all, I need to put Cooper Callahan and his wicked, talented tongue out of my mind. But instead of going to my dorm and treating myself to an extra-hot shower before buckling down with my books, I head to The Purple Kettle.

I dash to the building, relieved when I see Mia at the counter, handing a guy a pair of steaming-hot drinks. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and she’s got the distinctive purple apron—the same color as our home jerseys—tied tightly around her waist. She notices me and waves, and my expression must alarm her, because she hurries out from behind the counter as soon as the guy moves on.

She pulls me into a tight hug. “Are you okay? You look freaked out.”

I pull back, running nervous hands through my hair. That’s one way to put it, I guess. I also feel fantastic, yet incredibly guilty; a million emotions crowding in on each other. If I’d known that Cooper had no clue who I was, I never would have put him in such an awkward position. In the end, he didn’t seem too angry, but that doesn’t erase the fact it was shitty.

“I did it,” I blurt.

Her eyes go as wide as the chocolate chip cookies in the bin next to the register. “Oh my God. Tell me everything!”

I glance around. We’re basically alone; the guy with the coffees just left, and whoever is working this shift with Mia is in the back room. Strangled laughter bubbles up. Back room, storage closet. There’s basically no difference. What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t want to lose my nerve by waiting until we got to the dorms, but we’re lucky that no one walked by, least of all my boss, Nikki.

Mia stalks to the back room. “Pete, take over at the register for a few minutes,” I hear her saying. “I need the room.”

When we’re tucked away, I slump against a bag of coffee beans and cover my face with my hands. “I can’t believe I actually did it.”

“It, as in…”

I look at her, my face instantly red hot. The last thing I need to think about is Cooper’s cock. If he felt big in my hand, how big would he feel inside me? “No, not that. The first thing on The List.”

She grins. “Okay, nice. Some oral action.”

“He’s as good as advertised,” I admit. “Apparently, he was going through a dry spell, and before I could stop myself, I just…”

Mia hits my shoulder lightly. Her smile is wider than it has any right to be. “Look at you, being a total bad bitch. You came, right?”

“Yes.” And it was the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life, although I don’t add that part. I haven’t had anything but a toy inside me since Preston. While I’m nowhere near ready for penetrative sex, the feeling of Cooper’s thick finger tipped me over the edge. “But, um… he didn’t know who I was.”

She cocks her head to the side. “What?”

“He didn’t recognize me. I guess it’s fair since I never come to the games, but we didn’t talk about it until after. I thought he was just pretending, and meanwhile he thought I was some random girl who was good at ice skating.”

“Was he upset?”

“Sort of. But he knows my dad isn’t going to replace out.” I snort. “That would be a disaster.”

She shrugs, leaning back against a row of shelves filled with unopened bottles of flavored syrups. “No harm, no foul. Sounds like a success to me. As long as you feel good about it. You do, right?”

The memory crashes over me like a wave. It’s like I can still feel his hands on my thighs, the way his beard scratched my skin, the vibrations of his voice as he teased me. After fantasizing about having a guy go down on me for years, it was incredible to experience it for real. It blew every single one of my daydreams out of the water, and if I could have it all over again right now, I would sign up in a heartbeat.

“Yes,” I say. “Remarkably, he wasn’t the douchebag I thought he would be. He was almost… sweet. During the lesson and after, with me.”

Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t just sweet. I may have sent the first domino falling when I asked him to hook up in the first place, but he deftly took over. He knew exactly what he was doing and wanted to give it to me—if I was a good girl for him. I have no idea if he’s like that with every girl he hooks up with, but it pushed my buttons in just the right way. If it wasn’t for how it ended, it would have been perfect.

I hope that when I see him next week, we can put any lingering weirdness aside and teach the class as well as we did before I went around throwing in complications. Or who knows, maybe he’ll have a pair of incredible games this weekend and my dad will just name him the captain. I don’t know who else is in the running, but there’s no doubt, after watching Cooper on the ice, that hockey is the chief love in his life.

“Cooper Callahan, a secret sweetheart,” Mia muses. “Who would have guessed?”

I pull out my phone to check the time and see a text waiting from my dad, asking about how the class went. Honestly, he could have mentioned to Cooper that I was going to be there.

“I’ll see you later,” I say. “I just couldn’t wait until you came home to tell you.”

“Wait,” she says. “This is great. There’s a party tomorrow at Haverhill. You can scope out your next hookup.”

I’ve only gone to a couple of parties in my time at McKee. When I was with Preston, I went to them all the time, but they lost their luster—if it ever existed—after the one at Jordan Feinstein’s. “You know I don’t really do parties.”

Mia clasps her hands together. “Come on, it’ll be fun. Haverhill parties have cocktails, not just cheap beer. It’s way better than a frat party. Those are always disasters.”

Haverhill House is the best off-campus housing option for seniors. It’s a couple of houses grouped together around a sprawling lawn north of campus, so I guess it should be called Haverhill Houses, but Haverhill was the first one built, and even though the other houses have names, none of them stuck. It’s relatively new—built in the ‘90s instead of the ‘60s, or even older—so it’s not a crumbling relic. It’s the best chance a McKee student has of experiencing a big party that’s not attached to a fraternity or sorority, and thanks to the people who snag rooms there—take this as a hint at their income bracket—the alcohol is top-shelf. One of Mia’s hookups invited her last year, and if she shows up looking like eye candy, she gets in without fuss.

The next item on the list isn’t anything especially crazy—I want to experience giving a blowjob. I have no idea if I’ll feel ready to try that with a guy who catches my eye, but it can’t hurt to put on one of my nice dresses and dance before it gets so cold, I resent the idea of stepping out to a party in anything less than jeans and a thick sweater. At the very least, it’ll be a way to get Cooper out of my mind. The faster I move on, the faster I’ll forget about him.

“Okay, fine. But we’re not doing anything weird that might get back to my dad. You know he’d flip out.”

Mia kisses my cheek. “Hell. Yes. Let’s keep getting you laid.”

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