Broken Vows
Chapter 15: Loyalties

Willow POV

Hadeon recovered quickly from his injuries, but he has seemed troubled for the past few months. He started locking himself away in his study for hours at a time. I am never allowed into the study with him. When I would ask him what he was doing, he would become angry with me and stay away longer, so I stopped asking, not wanting to fight with him.

I just want him to tell me what is troubling him so much. We should be so happy. I am indeed pregnant. Things have calmed down with the dragons. They did just what they said. No one had seen them or Cadmus, but Hadeon is always on edge. I am over the moon as my belly grows, but nothing I do seems right. No matter how I try, I can’t make him happy. Hadeon just seems so distant.

I am thrilled to have Rana and Elizabeth with me as Hadeon seems to pull away. They are so happy about the baby; it helped distract me. Most nights, I will fall asleep before Hadeon even comes to bed. I wonder if he sleeps in his study some nights.

Then one day, I am surprised when he brings me breakfast just like he used to.

“What is all this?” I question him. He looks at me, hurt for a moment.

“I know I deserved that. I have been so neglectful. I wanted to show you that I’m sorry. I just got so upset over what happened with that animal, and I wanted to replace him. I feared he might come back. I needed to protect you and our baby.” Hadeon looks deep into my eyes, sitting with me on the bed.

“Please forgive me, Princess. It was all for you.”

Hadeon brushes the hair from my face, and I can’t help but smile. For the first time in months, he seems like himself. I have missed him so much.

“Do you promise that you won’t shut me out anymore?”

“I wasn’t trying to; I just didn’t want to worry you in your condition. I didn’t want to worry you that that monster would be back to hurt you or the baby. I promise not to shut you out again.” Hadeon is so convincing. I want nothing more than to believe him.

***

For the rest of the pregnancy, Hadeon is a perfect husband and seems so excited about the baby. The only person that seems unconvinced of his changed behavior is Rana. She stops visiting me when Hadeon is around.

“You know Rana hates me.” Hadeon says out of the blue one night. We are eating dinner alone.

“She is trying to turn you against me.”

“What? No, she would never do something like that.” I almost think he must be joking, but I can see how serious he is.

“Princess, you must know how jealous she is of you? She has always been in your shadow. And you even told me how in love with that animal she was. I can see how she looks at you. She’s envious of you, and she loathes me.”

“No,” I say again, but something about what Hadeon says seems to make sense in a way.

I never could prove she didn’t help Cadmus escape. I know they talked before he escaped, and they spoke of me. That still has never sat right with me. As Hadeon looks at me, he seems to be picking up on my doubt.

“I think you have done enough for her. She is no more than a servant and got the same education you did. She really has no role here. She just does whatever she wants to,” Hadeon says casually, but I know what he’s trying to do: He’s trying to further prove that she is just using me to keep her comfortable life.

I try to just brush off the things that Hadeon says, but some of them seem to make sense. I feel the doubt I had about her loyalty growing with every passing day. Soon, all his words seem to make sense to me. She has been avoiding me again, and I don’t know why she would. As I sit alone going over reports and filling requests in my study, this nagging doubt has me feeling sick.

I haven’t been feeling well for months. The healer and midwife think the pregnancy has been draining on my body. I can’t feel my magic the same way I could before. It’s like something is blocking me from it. It’s frustrating. As the Supreme, I’m expected to be the most capable and powerful, but that hasn’t been the case for months. I sigh, tired and frustrated. As I sit in my rambling thoughts, Rana comes in with tea for me.

“I thought you could use a little pick me up,” she says brightly. All I can focus on is the doubt surrounding Rana. Does she really even care about me, or is this just a way to use me?

When I don’t respond, Rana’s smile drops.

“What is the matter? Are you feeling sick again? Should I get someone?” Rana sets the tea on the table and looks like she’s concerned, but all I have is doubt about everything. Do I trust her? Is Hadeon right? I don’t know what to believe.

“Rana, what were you doing the night Cadmus escaped before I woke up?” I ask slowly.

“I was with you. I never left you,” Rana states.

“Never?” I eye her, and I know she is lying to me. I know because Hadeon told me she was in the kitchen with her mother that day.

“Why are you lying to me?”

The look of hurt and shock on her face looks so real.

“I was with you the whole time. I never left.”

“Hadeon said he saw you in the kitchen with your mother.” I’m angry now. I don’t know why she would lie to me like this.

“But I wasn’t,” she continues to protest.

“Willow, you have to believe me. Ask my mother. She will tell you.”

“No. She will lie for you, won’t she? You are just using me, aren’t you? You have always been jealous and wanted to outdo me at everything. You wanted to be the better student and earn favor with my own mother. You are just using me. You have been jealous of me. You helped Cadmus that day, didn’t you?” I’m angry now, and I can see the hurt in her eyes, but I don’t care.

“Willow, why are you saying these things? We have been friends since we were children?” Rana is staring at me in shock.

“We aren’t children anymore. Are we?” I just want her to be honest with me. I don’t know why she has to lie to me.

“I was never in the kitchen, Willow. I stayed with you.” Rana continues to claim, but she and Hadeon can’t both be telling the truth. Hadeon wouldn’t lie to me.

“Willow, please, let’s just go talk to my mother. She will tell you I was never there.” Rana insists.

“Fine, let’s do just that,” I announce, standing and walking past her refusing to look at her.

We make it to the kitchen. Elizabeth is there peeling potatoes.

“Mother,” Rana smiles thinking she has found salvation.

“Mother, I have to ask you about the day Cadmus escaped. Willow had been unconscious remember? Did I leave her room that day?”

Elizabeth looks confused for a moment and thinks back.

“Why yes, you spent half the day here with me, dear. Don’t you remember you sat there reading? You seemed tired and a little out of sorts, but you were here for a long time. Then you just got up and left. Your father looked for you in your room and Willow’s room when I told him you seemed tired, but he said he couldn’t replace you. We thought that maybe you went for a little walk to get some fresh air. Don’t you remember?”

“No! I didn’t. I never left Willow’s room. I know that I didn’t. I stayed with her for two days.” Rana argues, and Elizabeth looks shocked.

“Rana, you really don’t remember?” Elizbeth starts to question Rana, concerned for her.

“She remembers. She’s lying. I believe she had a hand in Cadmus’s escape, and she is hiding it.” I stand tall, and I’m sure now it was her. It had to be. She helped him and has been lying to me the whole time. How much more has she lied to me about?

“Rana, I want you to leave here.” The words just leave my mouth.

“What? No, you can’t mean that, Willow. This is my home,” Rana starts to cry, and Elizabeth wraps her arms around her.

“Please, Willow, you can’t mean that,” Elizabeth pleads.

“I do, and I am the Supreme. This is my home, and my word is final,” I order harsher than intend. I just feel so hurt and betrayed. I know I’m not thinking with a level head. It’s all I can do to keep from crying.

“Ma’am, you know Richard and I can’t just let our daughter leave?” Elizabeth is still holding the crying Rana.

“That is up to you. I can’t make you stay, but you are welcome to. I just do not want her here. She has blatantly lied to me and deceived me. Clearly, she has other loyalties, and it is time she leaves. I expect her gone by tomorrow morning.”

I don’t wait for them to answer as I leave the kitchen, trying to keep my composure. I am the Supreme, and I cannot let people betray and lie to me. I need to remain firm no matter what.

The next day, I watch from one of the high windows as the family I once thought I was part of pack up a tiny wagon of all of their belongings. Rana leaves all the dresses I gave her. I feel the tears threatening to fall, and I brush them away before they can. I will be strong. I feel the baby kick and place my hand there. I need to protect my child from anyone that might betray me.

The little wagon is loaded. Richard helps Elizabeth and Rana climb onto the seat. The little wagon is starting to pull away from the castle. I want so much to cry, but I refuse to. Hadeon wraps his arms around me from behind and places them on my swollen belly.

“You did the right thing,” he assures me.

“If it was right, why does it feel so wrong?” I say, leaning back into him for comfort and strength.

“Trust me, Princess, it was the right thing, I promise.” Hadeon kisses me on the neck, and I want so much to believe him.

I hate that she lied to me. I know I can never trust her again. What if she has already started plotting against me like Hadeon warned me she might? I know she had to go, but it still hurts so much. I can’t use my magic like I did, and reading runes is next to impossible now. I feel blind and vulnerable. I need to trust those around me now more than ever. I need to keep us safe not just for me but for my baby. My mother trusted Cadmus, and it led to her death. I won’t let that happen to me, Hadeon, or our child. I can’t let that happen.

Hadeon is still holding me when I feel the first of the contractions. I know that very soon, my life will change again. I will be someone’s mother. I don’t know if I’m entirely ready for what is to come, but I know this baby and Hadeon are the best things in my life. I will do anything for them.