Celestials
Chapter 11

I gulped down my fear. “What’s starting?”

Willa looked at me. “It’s starting to tear you apart,” she explained softly. “You’ll see more of those appear and it will start to hurt. I’m sorry.”

I nodded, trying to muster up courage I wasn’t feeling. “Thanks. I guess I should get started on my Bucket List soon, huh?” Never let them see you cry, Rory. Or let them see you flip the fuck out.

“We’ll figure this out,” she told me, gently laying a hand on my arm.

I smiled, or tried to. “Sure.” Pulling my shirt back down and fixing my pants, I looked at her. “I’ll be back out in a minute.”

Impulsively, she pulled me into a hug. The small sign of comfort and friendship was almost my undoing. It took everything I had not to bawl my eyes out on her shoulder. I returned her hug and then quickly released myself.

Willa left the bathroom and closed the door behind her. As tears coursed down my cheeks I could hear her talking to Jude. I was hoping, for the moment at least, Willa would take pity on me and not let him know what was going on.

It was starting. I was getting torn apart. I thought I would have more time, not much, but more time. Furiously, I swiped at my eyes. Crying was getting me nowhere and it wasn’t going to change anything. I learned a long time ago that crying never changed anything. Splashing ice cold water on my face, I pulled myself together.

I was going to enjoy myself because it would be the last thing that I would do. Hopefully, along the way we would figure out a way to stop the angels and demons from bringing the world into war. In the farthest reaches of my mind I hoped there was a way to save myself along the way, but I knew that was pretty much an impossibility. Now was not the time to wallow in self-pity. It was time to enjoy the time I had left.

Hell, I should go out and have sex with random, hot strangers. Margot would be so proud and it’s not like I have to worry about STDs. Smiling to myself, I exited the bathroom and grabbed my notebook. On the left side, I wrote ‘Sex with hot men (lots of it)’ and then giggled to myself.

“What’s so funny?” a bitter voice from the door asked.

Jude was leaning against the door jam again, but this time he didn’t look at all relaxed. His face was pinched with worry.

I shrugged. “Adding to my list.”

He rubbed his forehead. “You were just despairing and now you’re giggling?”

It’s his fault if he’s trying to keep up with my emotions. I was having all of them and I couldn’t figure them out. Impending death must do that to people. “Look, I was upset, but I decided not to wallow in self-pity. Instead, I decided to focus on fun things to do.” Okay, so I still couldn’t bring myself to talk out loud about dying.

Jude bounced himself off the door jam and leaned over my shoulder. His mood darkened all of sudden. “Have sex with hot men? Lots of it?” Was that horror I detected in his voice?

Oh god, I was giggling. And it wasn’t like cute, adorable giggling. It was the giggling of an unhinged person. “Yes. All of the fun, none of the fear or heartache.”

“That’s how you want to spend your remaining days?” Yup, that was definitely horror in his voice.

The giggles got worse. “Why not? It’s fun and when else do you get to have no guilt, worry-free sex?”

He glared at me, his voice raising. “I’m not helping you with this. I won’t protect you during this.”

“Fine!” I yelled back. He had the ability to make me angry with very little provocation. “Because I’m sure Willa will. Or Jerrick. Hell, they both already offered to have it with me!”

“You can’t have sex with them!” Jude’s voice got louder and he started pacing.

With my arms crossed, I glared back at him. “Why do you even care?”

“I don’t!” he sputtered. “But I’m not going to protect you while you’re…doing that!”

“Whoa! Lover’s spat?” Tanaka’s voice came from the door.

I giggled hysterically again. “Lover’s spat? Ha! Jude can barely even say ‘sex’!”

“Who’s having sex?” Willa piped in. She, Marco, and Jerrick had joined Tanaka in the doorway.

“Rory!” Jude fumed. “With everyone!”

I giggled again. This was bad. “Only the hot men, Jude. That’s what’s on the list,” I argued back with him.

“Alright!” Willa cheered from the door. The four regnum were all smiling at each other in the doorway. What the hell was their problem? “I will definitely help you with that, Rory!” Willa told me.

“Thanks,” I growled, glaring pointedly at Jude.

He looked between me and Willa. I’m not sure who he was looking at more murderously. “If you want to spend your last days being a slut, I’m not going to stop you.”

I was hoping looks could kill because right now that’s what I wanted. The fury that built inside of me was astounding. Jude stumbled a bit and I hoped it was because he was feeling everything I felt. “Slut?” I screeched. “I want to spend some of my last days experiencing something that reminds me I am still alive. Something that will take my mind off the fact that I don’t have a fucking future and you call me a slut?”

I charged at him. I probably would have clawed his eyes out, if Marco hadn’t stepped in and grabbed me. Jerrick and Tanaka grabbed Jude and ushered him into one of their rooms. Marco held onto my arms and stared at me, while Willa gently led me over to sit on the bed.

Suddenly, I was feeling more peaceful. The rage was disappearing and a sense of calm surrounded me. After I was settled quietly on the bed, I looked at Marco. “Did you do something?”

He smiled. “I may have sent you an ocean’s worth of calm feelings.”

Willa winked at me. “So sex, huh? I knew you’d come around.”

I shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea. Well, it still does. I mean, I don’t see what Jude’s problem is or why he’s all over my back about it because it’s not like he has any stake or any say in who I do or do not sleep with or whether I sleep with anyone at all and really, it’s unfair when I’m just trying to enjoy what little time I have left and I really don’t need him to get mad at me anytime I think about doing anything, speaking of which, what is his deal with sex because he’s a good looking guy and I can’t imagine he doesn’t have it.”

I took a deep breath and Willa giggled. “He was right. You really do talk a lot when you’re freaked.”

“Sorry,” I sighed.

Willa threw an arm around my shoulder. “It’s kind of adorable.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “Thanks, I guess.”

Marco looked between the two of us. “Listen Rory, Jude is…worried about you.” He held up his hand before I could argue. I didn’t like the way he kept pausing, like he was trying to replace the right words to say. Or he was hiding something. “I know you know that. But he’s extra protective of you for…his own reasons. The newest addition to your bucket list threw him a little, I guess.”

“You don’t always have to cover and explain for him, you know?” I told them. “He’s a big boy who can either apologize or explain for himself. Or ignore me. Whatever he decides to do. So when do we leave?”

“Leave?” Marco asked.

I nodded. “Yes. I’m going out to live what’s left of my life. It seems you’re all coming with me, though you are totally open to and within your right to change your mind about that at any moment and I won’t be upset, I mean I’ll be sad you left, but completely understand why you would. So when do we leave?”

Willa and Marco just looked at each other for a moment. Then Willa smiled at me like I was crazy.

“Satan’s gates, Rory, we’re not going to run away. And as for leaving,” she turned to Marco, “Tomorrow?”

He nodded. “It’s as good as any day.”

Willa hugged me quickly with exuberance. “Let’s go tell the others.” She jumped up and then looked at me. “Stay here. Finish your list.”

I spent the rest of the day finishing my list and napping. I still wasn’t fully recovered and I found I was tired. When it came to meal times, we all gathered in the living room/kitchen but it was a fairly quiet affair. Jude wouldn’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. Sleeping tonight was going to be interesting, unless he was planning on squishing himself on the tiny couch.

We discussed leaving tomorrow and everyone agreed. Tanaka suggested we head to Paris and then head back toward the U.S. They were a little worried about heading to India because they didn’t really know the groups that had safe houses there. So they figured we would head to places with known safe house first.

When it came time to go to bed, I got ready early and spent time reading a novel that had been lying around the house. Willa peeked her head in the door around midnight.

“I hope you don’t mind, but you’re stuck with me tonight,” she smiled.

I rolled my eyes. “He’s so mad at me he’s willing to risk Jerrick putting the moves on him?”

Willa shrugged and glided into the room wearing a tank top and pink cotton shorts. “Jerrick would never do that, mostly because we all know Jude would never go for it. Not that it’s stopped any of us from trying.”

I laughed as Willa hopped into the bed. “Any of you?”

She smiled proudly. “I think at some point all of us has hit on Jude. Sadly, he hasn’t taken us up on it. None of us.”

I didn’t want to hear about Jude’s sex life. I wasn’t interested or so I told myself as I ignored the hurt that zinged through me at the thought of him with someone else. Stupid, I told myself. You’re just attaching yourself to him because he’s the only available man around at the moment.

Willa smiled knowingly at me. That’s weird. “Go to sleep, Rory. We’re going to Paris tomorrow.”

I smiled. “I can’t wait.”

The next day found us vanished to Paris. We were staying in a safe house there but we were going to go out and see the sights. Willa also wanted to take me out to a club that night to help me get laid.

All in all it sounded like a good plan. Not that I ever would have been brave enough to try and land myself a one night stand in my previous life. Apparently approaching death was giving me all the confidence in the world.

Everyone decided to go out that night, which surprised me. I figured Jude would stay in the safe house and brood. He was the one who said he wouldn’t help me in my plan to get laid by lots of hot men. I tried not to let his less than enthusiastic nature dampen my excitement. Paris!

I wanted to see all the sights but everyone thought it best we keep a low profile. We went to a quick dinner at an authentic French restaurant and then out to a club. Everyone was much more comfortable with the club because of all the people and electricity in the club. I was more concerned with getting myself inebriated enough to replace myself a hot man and convince him to sleep with me.

I adjusted the tiny skirt that Willa had surprised me with earlier. It was black and flared around my thighs barely covering my butt. Resisting the urge to pull it down and then adjust the halter top I was wearing, I downed the rest of my drink. A well muscled, blond Adonis approached me. He nodded to me and then said something I couldn’t understand.

I leaned in closer to him. “I’m sorry,” I yelled over the music, “I didn’t hear you.”

His head moved closer to my head, warm breath tickling my ear. “You are American,” he observed in an Australian accent. “Dance with me.”

I put my hand in his outstretched one and followed him onto the dance floor. Fortunately, the song didn’t require us to do much more than intertwine our legs and do a slow sort of grinding. At least, that’s what he was doing. I just sort of followed his lead and let his warm hazel eyes mesmerize me.

After a couple more drinks and countless dances, he lowered his mouth to mine. Now, I wasn’t normally the sort to make out in the middle of club with a guy, but this was imperative to crossing things off my Bucket List. It wasn’t the most earth shattering kiss I’d received – I wasn’t going to dwell on whose was. But it was nice and made me feel incredibly sexy.

When my focus split for the millisecond that I thought of Jude’s kisses, I must have inadvertently opened myself up to receiving his emotions. The next thing I knew jealousy, despair, and anger ripped through me. I pulled away from Mr. Australia’s lips trying to catch my breath. If his cocky smile was any indication, it was because he thought our kiss was that stellar.

Out of the corner of my eye, I searched out my friends. Willa was winking and giving me a thumbs-up sign. Jerrick looked completely amused and Tanaka and Marco were making out with each other. Jude was staring at the wall behind the bar. It took me until I caught his eye in the reflection to realize the wall was a huge mirror. His eyes hardened the moment they set on mine.

Well, Jesus, he had made it clear he didn’t want to have sex with me. So why was he so pissed when I was trying to do it with someone else? He didn’t have to come tonight. In fact, I would have preferred if he didn’t because as much as I hated to admit it, I was feeling guilty. The assault Jude’s feelings gave me was making me feel guiltier by the second. Instead of backing down though, I took a deep breath and turned back to Mr. Australia. Huh, I should really learn his name.

That was my last thought before he starting making out with me again. Before I could get my head wrapped around what he was doing, I was pushed against the wall, both hands pinned over my head. His other hand was moving itself under my halter top and over my ribs.

Mr. Australia nibbled on my ear and then whispered in his sexy accent, “Let’s get out of here.”

I nodded and then giggled. God, what was I like, fourteen? “I just have to tell my friends.”

He let my hands go but kept his hand under my shirt, against my lower back. The warmth and probably the copious amounts of alcohol, created a delightfully buzzed feeling all around me. I walked up to Willa smiling like an idiot.

“I’m getting out of here,” I shouted in her ear, pointing in the direction of Mr. Australia.

“Are you sure?” she asked, peering in to my eyes.

I nodded and smiled warmly. “Yup!” Boy, I was sounding much more enthusiastic than I felt. “He’s Australian!” Maybe that would deflect from the fact that I still had no clue what his name was. Was it bad that I didn’t even care either?

Willa leaned back in to my ear. “Jerrick and I will follow you and make sure you’re okay.”

I hugged her tightly to me. “You’re the best!”

She laughed. “See you later.”

I let go of her and let Mr. Australia drag me toward the exit.

Don’t go with him, a voice in my head sounded. I looked around and then realized in the noisy club I was never going to figure out whose voice it was.

Please, the voice said more coherently as we exited the club. Please don’t go with him.

I stopped and looked around. Mr. Australia stopped when he practically pulled my arm out of its socket. “What is it?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Uh…nothing.”

You’re not going to be happy with yourself in the morning, the voice said. I sighed. Sure, I was. I would have had sex with a hot Australian whose name I didn’t even know. Shut up stupid voice! I thought.

We can go sightseeing instead, the voice told me. Why did it sound so familiar?

“Are we going?” Mr. Australia asked, noticeably impatient. Not that I could blame him.

Suddenly, I was assaulted with images: Jude and me at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the two of us looking down from the Notre Dame Cathedral, walking along the Seine in the moonlight. I sighed and then got mad at myself for acting like a lovesick teenager. A man throws a few romantic visions my way and I was putty in his hand.

Wait. I looked around again.

Jude, you can talk to me telepathically? I asked him.

Yes. You did it first in Japan. I figured I would try to see if I could. I don’t know why we can.

“Umm…” Clearly, Mr. Australia was searching for my name. “Are we going?”

Come with me, Rory. Please, Jude’s voice begged in my head.

I couldn’t help it. I started laughing. Mr. Australia looked insulted and a little worried at the condition of my sanity. It suddenly struck me how stupid I was being. I didn’t really want to sleep with Mr. Australia, okay my body most definitely did. But the rest of me would much rather see Paris at night with Jude.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, trying to control my laughter. “I realized my brother is coming to pick me up. He’s…uh, really…strict.” Even my lying didn’t get better when I was drunk. Unfortunately, that thought made me giggle even more.

He let go of my hand and looked darkly at me. “Whatever. You’re a crazy bitch.”

I gave myself props for holding it together while he walked away. But the moment Mr. Australia was out of earshot I started laughing harder. Jude found me leaning against the wall of the club with tears streaming down my face. He looked worried until he noticed me cackling.

“What’s going on?” he asked, completely bewildered. I’m pretty sure he thought I was losing it. Ha, I should open my feelings to him and replace out. That thought made me laugh harder. Maybe I was losing it.

“Nothing,” I told him.

“You sure?” Jude took my face in both of his hands and gently wiped the tears that streamed from my eyes with his thumbs. “You look like-“

“I’m going completely insane?” I finished for him.

He smiled ruefully. “A little bit.”

“This whole thing is funny and stupid,” I explained, my hand waving around in the air as if that indicated what I was talking about. “And then Mr. Australia totally didn’t get what was going on and could see through my lie which shouldn’t have been funny but it was. And it’s not like you could pass for my brother if we wanted to. Unless you were adopted,” I added.

Jude looked at me like maybe I had drank more than just alcohol tonight. “Mr. Australia? And why am I your brother?” he asked.

I cocked my head. “Where is everyone…else? I thought they were on like, stealth-follow-me-places duty?” Yeah, Rory, why don’t you sound more like a six year old?

Jude smiled faintly. “I told them you were with me and they could head back to the house.” I nodded and looked at me again. “Now, Mr. Australia? And I’m your brother…?”

“Oh, right!” I bobbed my head trying to bring my thoughts into some sort of cohesion. “He was Mr. Australia ’cause he’s Australian and I have no idea what his actual name was.” This caused me to giggle again, which only worsened when Jude sent me a disapproving look. “I told him that my brother was coming to pick me up…which was sorta like you, though you’re not my brother ’cause that would be gross and I really miss my brother but not in the same way I would miss you, ’cause again that would be gross and I don’t have gross feelings toward my brother but I do have them towards you even though I’m pretty sure you hate me most of the time and obviously, they’re not gross when they’re towards you. Oh…and I told him you were strict, so I had to leave with you.” I nodded, letting the validity of my statements sink in with Jude.

He looked baffled. And kind of mad. Oh boy, what did I do now? “You didn’t even know his name?” Jude roared.

I snorted and sort of giggled which was probably not the best response. “Nope.” I couldn’t help the proud smile that stretched across my face. I hooked up with a guy whose name I didn’t know!

“What gross feelings are you talking about? And why do you think I hate you?” he asked, suddenly very curious.

I sighed. “Jude, you’re always yelling at me about everything. We’re like salt and oil.” I shook my head. “No, salt and vinegar – wait, that’s chips. Like oil and water!” I was tired of this conversation. I straightened myself and looked at him accusingly. “Are we going to do all those things you shot into my head or were you just trying to get me to stay here?”

Jude smiled and shook his head at me. Then he gripped my arms. “If you want to we’re going to do all those things.”

“Yay!” I cheered and threw myself into his arms, my maturity level reaching an all time low.

He squeezed me tighter. God, it felt good to be pressed up against him. Restlessly, I shifted my hips against him. His warm hand held onto my hip, settling it. “Now close your eyes, hold on tight, and for Satan’s sake do not move your hips again,” he growled into my ear.

I nodded and closed my eyes, enjoying the fact that the small act bothered him. The next thing I knew the air was whooshing around us. When my feet touched the ground again, I opened my eyes.

All of Paris twinkled below me. I let go of Jude and walked to the wall that came up to my chest. On top of that was a fence made of wide chain links, I guess to prevent people from jumping. Oh my god, I was on the top of the Eiffel Tower! The lights of the city seemed to twinkle on forever.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, grabbing Jude’s hand.

He squeezed my hand in return. “I’m glad you like it. I don’t know how much sightseeing you’ll be getting to do.”

I shook my head. “It’s better this way. No crowds.” Just him and me together in the most romantic spot on earth. Moonlight gently illuminated the city below us and softened Jude’s features. “Thank you.”

Jude smiled sadly at me. “I want you to see as much as you can.” I noticed he left off the part about me kicking the bucket.

“Looking down at all that,” I waved my hand across the cityscape. “I can’t help but feel small and insignificant.”

Jude laughed mirthlessly. “You will never be insignificant.”

I shrugged. “If I wasn’t the certus…”

His eyes caught mine. “You would still be very significant.” His words and the look in his eyes warmed me to my toes. Jude’s hand reached up to cup my chin and I couldn’t help but lean in to it. Without even thinking I planted a kiss in his palm.

The next thing I knew my back was pressed up against his chest and his arms were wrapped around me. Jude’s forehead rested against my neck.

“Take one more look,” his hoarse voice whispered to me. “We have a lot to see tonight.”

His breath lingering on my neck had my gut twisting with need. Instead, I threaded my hands through his so we were intertwined. His need was evident as he was pressed up against me. Neither of us wanted to move though.

“Jude?” I asked, wanting so badly to get honesty from him. He kept pulling away but it was becoming more and more obvious that we kept gravitating toward each other.

“Just for one night,” he breathed on my neck again. “For one night, Rory, can we pretend that we are normal people on a normal date seeing Paris.”

I laughed lightly. “Normal people vanishing from spot to spot in Paris?”

His arms tightened around me. “It’s too dangerous and slow to walk or take a taxi.” His voice was full of emotion and I was too afraid to open myself up to him to replace out what it was. I was pretty sure the next time he shut me down it would crush me.

I kissed the top of his hand and heard him suck in a breath. “Normal people on a normal date.”

“Thank you,” he hissed. “Now close your eyes.”

As soon as my eyes shut, the world whooshed and I came face to face with a gargoyle. Jude unwrapped himself from around me but still held on to my hand. With my other one, I reached out to touch the gargoyle’s head.

“Where are we?” I asked.

Jude pulled me over to the decorative concrete railing that reached up to my shoulders. “On top of the Notre Dame Cathedral. Technically, halfway up.”

I looked above me to see the two side towers stretching up toward the sky. We were in the middle part, where there was a landing of sorts. Gargoyles guarded most of the corners. I looked over the railing to see the flat courtyard and water in front of us. The moon and lights of Paris reflected off the water.

“It’s so beautiful. I-“ I stopped myself before I said something stupid.

Jude squeezed my hand. “It’s okay.” And it was. He knew everything I was feeling.

“I was just wishing I could do it all for real.” I slid my eyes to his apologetically. “Not that I don’t love this. It’s beautiful and romantic.”

“It’s just a bit rushed and a little…dodgy?” Jude supplied.

My lips lifted into a half smile. “I might not have used the word ‘dodgy’ but yes.” I took both his hands in mine. “Thank you for this.”

Jude smiled warmly at me. “You’re sacrificing everything. You deserve some happiness.”

I smiled at him, cowardly kissing him on the cheek. “Normal people on a normal date, remember?”

He nodded. “Right. Lots more places to go.”

Jude took me to Sacre Coeur where we climbed what seemed like a million steps up to the church entrance. He even vanished us in so we could look around a little bit. We walked down the Seine and grabbed a crepe and some coffee in a late night café. Finally, we ended up sitting on a roof overlooking the Seine. The stars sparkled above us and the river reflected all the city lights below us. Jude leaned against chimney and I was nestled between his legs, my body resting on his chest. I was content to stay this way forever.

“We’re going to have to go back soon. I’ve already kept you out much longer than I expected,” he told me.

“How very much like normal teenagers,” I laughed softly. “We even have a curfew.”

Jude wrapped his arms around me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “But we’re not teenagers. If we were normal people we wouldn’t have a curfew.”

I laughed again. “We also wouldn’t have been able to vanish ourselves onto this nice roof.”

He sighed. “We should go back.”

I nodded, not wanting to leave. For a few hours, I forgot about the maniacs that were trying to kill me. I turned myself as best I could sitting on the roof. My body was half-turned to Jude.

“Thank you for tonight. It means a lot,” I told him. I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Trying to keep the kiss friendly, I tried to pull away.

Jude’s hand crept from my shoulder and to the back of my head, moving my face towards his again. His lips touched mine and there was nothing friendly in that kiss. Our tongues reached out and mated. Wanting coursed through my body and I tried to move myself closer to Jude. He steadied us but not in enough time. I could feel our bodies tumbling.

We were going to fall off the roof and die. Stupid, Rory, stupid. Do not kiss a man on top of a roof when you jump him every time your lips lock!

Jude broke away from the kiss long enough to shout, “Close your eyes!”

I squeezed them shut and felt his lips return to mine. So if we were going to die at least we were going to die happy.

Suddenly, we landed with a thud, rolling a few times. It should have hurt more but it didn’t. It felt like we were still alive. God, we were certainly kissing like we were. My hands were underneath Jude’s sweater and one of his was tangled in my hair while the other held my hips firmly against him.

And then a giant flash of light erupted. I jumped up, smacking my head into Jude’s chin. I scanned quickly to see where the firebolts and lightning were coming from.

Instead, I saw that we were inside the safe house and my four friends were staring at us, mouths open.

“’Bout time,” Tanaka commented.

I rubbed my head where it had struck Jude’s chin and swiftly looked down to make sure all of my clothing was in order. Aside from breathing heavily, everything looked to be in order. I pulled down my skirt which had ridden up. My ass had probably been sticking out – great.

“Funny,” Jude told Tanaka rubbing his chin.

“Sorry,” I nodded at him. Jude waved me off with his hands. “What are you guys doing?” I asked turning back toward the foursome.

Willa smiled wickedly. “Trying to have fun a in similar manner to you and Jude, when we were interrupted by a loud crashing noise out here. Usually, that means bad news. So we all came running.”

“We almost fell off a roof,” I huffed at them. “Jude vanished us here before we killed ourselves.”

“And how did you almost fall off that roof?” Jerrick asked.

My face flushed and I looked toward Jude. Jude glared at them. “I think it’s obvious.”

Willa cheered. “Now you can have lots of sex with hot Jude! It still meets your bucket list.” She beamed at the two of us.

I, for one, would not mind that. However, Jude looked at Willa darkly. “No, she can’t.”

“But, I don’t think-“ she started.

“Will, baby love, leave it.” Jerrick told her.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Marco and Tanaka looked at each other, then back at Jude. Tanaka ran a hand over his swoop of hair and then steepled his fingers, taking a step toward Jude. “You didn’t explain…” he looked over toward me and smiled guiltily, “anything to her?”

“Any what?” I asked.

“Nothing!” Jude barked at the same time Willa said, “The demon thing.”

I looked between the five of them. “Demon thing?”

The boys had the decency to lower their eyes. Willa gaped at me and then at Jude and then back to me. Jude just stared back at her. She marched up to him, her head not even reaching his shoulder. Her small finger stabbed Jude in the chest. “You’re an asshole.”

Then she marched over to me and grabbed my hand, sitting me down in a chair that looked like standard issue in a college dorm. Why I noticed its rust orange color at that moment, I didn’t know. Willa sat across from me on the corner of the plain wooden coffee table. She held both my hands.

“Jude is worried that you and he doing the deed will be like choosing the demons and then you’ll have unintentionally sided with them. I don’t think he’s right because he’s the Incomitatus now, but that’s what he’s worried about,” Willa explained.

“Why would he worry about that?” I asked. Wouldn’t I have to have sex with a demon for that to happen? And then it dawned on me. I had seen him in the fiery pits of hell when I projected there. He had saved me. My eyes popped open and I stared at him. “You’re a demon?” I screeched.

Jude looked confused. “You didn’t know?”

I stood up and started pacing. “No! How was I supposed to know?”

“Because you saw me in h-“ the stupid gag order stopped him. “With the fiery, bat people when you projected there. I told you I was immortal.”

“Yes, when you said you were one of them and immortal I thought you meant that you were like…in the supernatural beings club. Not like, a demon,” I argued.

“What difference does it make?” he asked. “Tanaka and Willa are demons and you like them just fine.”

I turned on him. “Of course, I like them. But I knew they were demons, they never lied about being one.”

Jude walked closer to me. “I never lied about that. I thought you figured it out.”

His voice was a little condescending and it irritated me. I thought my head was going to explode, so I just started shouting. “Of course, I didn’t figure it out. Your wings aren’t like anyone else’s, angel or demon and so far every being I’ve met has wings that are either white and feathery or red, black, and spiny so really, how would I know? Plus, you’re not exactly forthcoming with information and you assume a lot of things and you never came right out and told me what you were, hell, you never even told me about the protector thing, so this whole you’re-a-demon thing is a bit of shock and it has to make me wonder what you did that made you a demon, which then brings on a whole new set of problems different from the ones that I already have about you being a supernatural-being-of-mysterious origin, you know?”

“No, she didn’t,” Jerrick said softly, his Jamaican accent more pronounced with his worry.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Rory!” Jude’s fury almost blasted me over.

I stomped over and poked him in the chest. “You’re right. I don’t! Because you never explain anything!”

Tanaka looked between both of us and then back to Marco. “Time for bed!”

“Right behind you,” Marco said, scurrying after Tanaka.

Willa was watching us with a big smile. Jerrick grabbed her hand and started leading her back to their bedroom. “C’mon, baby love, let them figure it out.”

That left Jude and I and the one remaining bedroom. It seemed all these safe houses had the same three bedroom, living room/kitchen, underground set up.

“Hey, Rory,” Willa called back. “He started off a demon, but he’s the Incomitatus. He’s neither angel or demon, even his wings prove that.”

I nodded like what she said made sense. Jude looked at me angrily. I crossed my arms and faced him. “So this is why you never wanted to sleep with me? Because you’re afraid if I do, I’ll turn into a demon and they’ll win this war?” I asked bitterly.

He laughed mirthlessly. “No, it’s why I never slept with you. If it was a question of wanting, you would have turned demon the moment we met at your Da’s house.”

I swallowed, the desire pulsing between us. Shit, how did we go from ready to kill each other to ready to jump each other in a matter of seconds? I cleared my throat and looked down at the uncomfortable, heeled shoes Willa made me wear. “Then why didn’t you just tell me that? I thought you didn’t want me.”

I hated how small and insecure my voice sounded. Jude was in front of me in a flash. His finger lifted up my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. “I thought it would be easier if you thought that. That you and I wouldn’t be as attracted to each other if you thought I wasn’t interested. That you could go out and meet some nice guys to add to your Bucket List.”

“What happened?” I asked, needing to hear that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

He sighed and absently ran his fingers along my cheekbone. “I got insanely jealous at the thought of anyone else with you. Not to mention, how difficult it is to keep my hands off of you.”

I smiled at him. “I didn’t lose my virginity till a very late age.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m not interested in how experienced-“

I cut him off with a finger to his lips. “It means, I know a lot of other satisfying things we can do besides having sex.” And then I looked at him quizzically. “Will that turn me into a demon?”

Jude smiled wider. “As far as I know the way for the certus to become either an angel or demon is to have sex with one of them. Anything leading up to that is…fair game.”

I nodded, running my finger along his lip. “Fair game,” I whispered, barely paying attention to what he said. I wanted his hands all over my body. I wanted a lot more than that, but I would have to be happy with what I could get. By the way Jude was looking at me, I was going to be pretty happy with whatever I got.

“Why are we still out here?” he asked me.

I shrugged and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Let me run to the bathroom and then you better be prepared for the longest round of foreplay you’ve ever experienced.”

He grabbed me tighter and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. My breathing was rapid when he pulled away and need was pooling in my gut. “Hurry up,” he told me.

Scurrying as quickly as possible, I made it to the bathroom in record time. I whipped out my toothbrush and started furiously scrubbing my teeth. When I was there I looked myself over in the mirror. My face was flushed with excitement and my eyes were gleaming with desire. I barely knew the guy, but it seemed Jude and I had a problem keeping our hands to ourselves.

My halter had shifted up when Jude and I were making out on the floor. Above the waistband of my skirt, I noticed red peeking out. Spitting out my toothpaste and quickly rinsing my brush, I absently lay a hand over the spot. It felt sensitive. When I lifted my top up, I realized the spot from before had grown bigger and there were now two more spots above my belly button.

Suddenly, all the desire I had for Jude released from my body and left me with a chilly sense of loss. The tearing apart was moving faster than I thought it would. Two days ago it was one spot the size of my thumb. Now it had grown to the size of three fingers and there were two thumb-sized spots above my navel. They burned slightly when I touched them and the skin was so thin I felt like I could push my finger all the way through to my gut. This was bad.

I couldn’t let Jude see them. He would lock me up forever. I wanted to enjoy myself for my last few weeks on earth…but it seemed I wasn’t even allowed to do that with Jude. Well, I could, but once he caught sight of my spots he would freak out. I couldn’t let him know, not yet.

Despair welled up inside of me. I was dying. I mean, I knew that. In the eternity sense we were all dying, but mine was imminently closer than most people’s. There was still so much I wanted to do. Namely, not start a celestial war and preferably have incredibly hot sex with the ridiculously good looking man in my bedroom. The way this was going I definitely wasn’t going to do the second and I wasn’t sure if I could avoid the first.

“Rory?” Jude’s quiet voice whispered to me outside the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

Stupid ass protector vibe. I couldn’t even be sad without him checking on me. “Yeah,” I choked out.

He sighed and when I opened myself up to him, I could feel the resignation and disappointment in him. “We don’t have to do this.”

I reached out and touched the door. Defeated myself, I leaned my forehead on it, wishing it was his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I held my hands up to the door wanting to touch him. “Jude?” I asked. The emotion in my voice was noticeable.

“Yeah?” His voice came from the crack in the door. It was soft so he must be leaning pretty close.

“I really, really want this,” I told him. It killed me that hope and happiness sprung up in him. But he’s a guy, I reminded myself, it’s probably just hope that he was gonna get some tonight.

“Me, too.”

I sighed. “Will you understand if I tell you that I want to do this, but I can’t….I just…can’t. But I can’t really tell you why?” My voice was wavering and I worked to keep myself calm. He would notice if my emotions were freaking out.

“I understand.” His voice was devoid of any emotion. Was it just a chance for him to get lucky…or half-lucky?

I didn’t know what I expected. Was I waiting for him to make some impassioned speech about how it killed him not to touch me but being around me was enough? Really, I was being stupid. The fact that his emotionless voice cut through me should have been a relief – no harm, no foul.

“Thanks,” I told him.

When I opened the door a moment later, Jude was still standing there peering at me. His eyes just watched me warily, like he was afraid I would fall apart or explode or something. The only thing I could do was stare back at him. A weighted sadness hung in the air.

“The bathroom is yours if you want it,” I told him quietly. My body was heavy with everything and I trudged back to our room.

I changed into boxers and a tank top and climbed into bed. Suddenly, I was extremely weary. With my eyes closed, I rolled over and scrunched myself into a small, pitiful ball.

“Rory?” Jude’s voice asked at the door.

“Hm?”

“Is this still okay?” When I opened my eyes, he nodded towards the bed. I nodded and then tried to lose myself in my misery once again.

The light when off and a moment later the bed dipped with his weight. His warmth radiated over to me even though I’m sure we could have fit another person in the space between us. I couldn’t even cry, which I was grateful for. The weight of everything just weighed on me, pressing heavily onto any happiness I might have found in this situation. If I wasn’t positive that the angels or the demons would claim me in death, I would seriously consider taking my life.

It wasn’t like I had anything going for me. I was dying soon anyway and it was going to be painful. Any joy I found lately was marred by people trying to kill me. Plus, Jude and the rest of my friends would be safer without me. They would be able to go on with their lives, or their supernatural existences, without dealing with the drama that came with knowing me. I could take a crap load of pills, fall asleep, and be done with it.

“Please don’t think that way,” Jude whispered to me, his voice strained. “We’ll figure it out.”

“No,” I told him honestly, “we won’t.”

His hand moved across the mattress like he was going to touch me but thought better of it. “We wouldn’t be better off without you. And they would still be hunting us.”

“Not like this.”

“Do you want me to call Marco? He’ll make you feel better.” Ah yes, Marco and his magic good feely vibes. I didn’t want to supernaturally feel better. I wanted this whole situation to disappear and the only way for that to happen was for me to disappear.

“No.”

We laid in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I thought maybe Jude had fallen asleep. Lucky. With all this crap rolling around my head, there was no way I was going to fall asleep.

“Rory?” Jude’s soft question rolled over me like a caress.

“Hm?”

“Come here.” His command was gentle but insistent. I rolled over and looked at him in the faint light that was escaping in from underneath the bedroom door. His head nodded for me to come closer to him. When I did, he pulled me securely into his arms. With my head resting on his chest, he stroked my hair. “You need this more than any…excitement we could have otherwise elicited from each other.”

I sniffed, his sudden concern with me making me want to bawl like a lost, little kid. “Thanks, Lancelot.”

With Jude’s comforting warmth surrounding me, I fell into a deep sleep. I didn’t wake up until a bright light scalded my eyelids.

What the hell? We were underground. Why was the light so bright?

I opened my eyes and saw a clear blue sky and white columns stretching up to meet it. Shit.