CHASE
7

Twirling the mug in my hand, I watched the coffee go from side to side. The chattering of the people had faded and all that was left was the thoughts that had kept me up all night. I'd replayed the events with Chase from top to bottom and I couldn't replace the right feelings to feel about it. He'd attacked me, didn't hurt me but he did attempt to. I knew the risks every time I set foot into that place, I knew what could happen, so why did I test it so much? Why was I so drawn to this man? Why couldn't I just say fuck it and never go back there again? I wished that I could. That I could turn back now, walk away and act like none of this happened but somewhere deep down, a part of me needed to know, to know more about him, I just didn't know if it was worth it anymore.

'Care to share?' Luke's voice pulled me back into the coffee shop we were sat at. Not sure why I had decided to meet him for coffee but I felt like I needed someone to talk to, not having many friends or people that I trusted, I decided Luke would have to do.

'What are you thinking Bella?' He observed me, watching me like I was the only thing he could see in this place.

'The patient from Whitley. He's uh.. he has me all muddled up.' I tried to form the right words to explain it. Luke was overprotective and if I told him that Chase attacked me, no doubt he'd go running in there making a scene.

'Muddled up?' A deep frown covered his face, I knew he wasn't liking the fact that I was still visiting Chase.

'There's just a lot about him that I don't understand, that I really want to understand.' I fiddled with the mug in my hand some more then brought it up to my lips to take a sip.

'Why do you care about him so much?' He glared at me, maybe he wasn't the right person to talk to about this.

'It's not that, it's just..'

'It's just what Bella?!' He yelled before I could finish off my sentence, resulting in the entire coffee shop staring at us.

'Quiet, you're making a scene.' My voice was hushed, not planning to grab anymore unnecessary attention.

'Is that why you've been distant? You've been messing around with some fucking psycho?!'

'Can we not do this right now?' I was getting annoyed at his tantrums. Cursing myself for even attempting to talk to him, I knew it never went as planned.

'No were going to do this right now! He grabbed my wrist and got up from the table, pulling me up with him.

'Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is fooling around with a psychopath!' He yelled to the public, I'd never been so embarrassed. I was raging with anger as I felt everyone's eyes on us.

'You're the only psychopath here asshole!' I yanked my arm out of his grip and as I did, my head swayed to the side, I lost balance and fell to my feet. I rubbed over the stinging sensation in my right cheek as people crowded over me. I had just realised that he hit me. This was the third time he'd raised more than his voice on me.

A couple of men circled around him and took him out of the coffee shop while women surrounded me, asking if I was ok. I held my face in my hand, he'd slapped me. In public. Holding back the tears that threatened to spill, I forced a smile and told everyone that I was ok.

I wouldn't cry, I never did. I was better than that. I stared at myself in the mirror, attempting to hide the swelling and the light bruise on my face with make up. I didn't need the extra questions. Running my fingers over my neck, the bruises Chase had left had almost faded, but I still wore a scarf around my neck just in case. Now I had my face to hide too.

I'd sat in my apartment for a long while before I decided that I'd visit Chase. I didn't want him to think I wasn't going to visit because of the events yesterday. I wanted him to trust me, to trust that I wouldn't judge him over things that he couldn't control, over flaws that everyone has. Just, his seem to be a lot bigger than others.

Before I could even greet him, he had me cornered against the wall, his eyes piercing through mine. I swallowed down the saliva down my dry throat and stared up at him, he looked angry, raging even. 'Who.' His voice was rough, almost as if he had to force the word out of his mouth. 'Who did that.' I felt his thumb trace over my face, exactly where Luke had struck. I didn't know what to say, I didn't even think he'd notice. I thought I had done a good job at hiding it.

'Who, Bella.' He spoke through clenched teeth, it was obvious that he was angry, I just didn't understand why. I didn't really think he'd care. I mean, why would he? 'I fell down the stairs and hit my face of the floor.' I let out a small laugh, trying to avoid this conversation. I sucked at lying, it wasn't exactly my best of skills.

'Don't lie to me, Bella. Who?' I felt his hand stroking my cheek right before he held my chin captive between his fingers, tilting my head up to face him as his eyes begged me to answer his question. 'My ex.' I mumbled then tried to pull my face away from him but he held my chin tight, making me stay put. 'He hit you?' There was so much tension in the room and I didn't even understand why. Didn't he have bigger things to worry about? Like the fact he's locked up in a mental hospital.

'He hit you.' This time it wasn't a question, it sounded more like a statement. He pulled away from me then lout a deep growl. A literal growl. His hands fisted by his sides, veins had even popped out of his neck as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I stood there against the wall, immobile. I wasn't sure what was happening or why he was so angry.

'I'll kill him.' I don't think he meant for me to hear that, but I heard it and I'm not sure if I wanted to hear it. 'Calm down, it's ok.' I walked over to him and placed my hand on his bicep, hoping to get rid of whatever crazy that was running through his head. He kept his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling violently as he clenched his jaw every so often. His actions were confusing me, why had the bruise on my face bothered him so bad? It's not like he didn't try and hurt me yesterday too.

He let out a deep breath and opened his eyes, his brown pupils staring into my hazel ones. Conflict burning with fire beneath those eyes of his. I could still hear him breathing loud, almost as though he was suffocating in the small confines of this deadly room. 'Bella.' He breathed out, like he was running out of breath. 'Yes? What is it?' I rubbed his bicep soothingly, trying to calm down the tension that was working away at his core.

'I need you to go, I won't be here much longer. When I get out, I will replace him and I will kill him for this.' He traced his fingers across my face, his touch ever so gentle, it was almost like, the hands didn't belong to him. Who would've thought the same hands he'd done some serious damage with could be this gentle, this soothing but it was his words that really got me. Why did he mean? Why did he talk like he was going to leave? 'I give you my word.' He removed his hand from my skin and turned his back to me. I didn't want his word. I didn't want him to hurt Luke. I wanted him to explain to me what he meant, where was he going?

'What do you mean, leave this place?'

'Go Bella. Take care of yourself.' His voice was shallow, his words a puzzle. I stood there facing his back, confused to what he was telling me.

'But..'

'GO.' I jumped with his yell. I'd never heard him yell before. It was somewhat frightening and I could already feel my pulse racing.

'Go.' He whispered this time, my heart was a mess. I felt like this was a goodbye and I didn't understand why. I turned around and walked towards the door, my hand lingering on the doorknob, waiting for him to say something, anything to postpone my departure, but he didn't say a word, he didn't even look at me, so I left. I left and he remained. While I roamed this earth freely, he was imprisoned in a room that would only drive someone crazier than crazy. I left and he stayed, because that was the difference between us. He was a prisoner, not to the law of this country but a prisoner to his own mind and I, had done nothing to change that. I had failed, yet again.