Clubrooms Diary
Chapter 24: Torn

LAYLA

MAY 10th 2018

Lisa starts to rub her temples as she spits out a long line of curse words.

"I...I... FUCK." She looks at me with remorse.

"Look, I don't think Ryder did what he did, to get his kicks out of it. I wouldn't be shocked if Jimmy had groomed him into starting up his little side hustle. Just, so he could gain full access to Ryder's files and connections. Like, I told you before. Jimmy's a selfish... bastard and he wouldn't do anything that would get his hands dirty." She continued to stare at me as she truly believed the bullshit that was flowing out of her mouth like a cheap rapper high on weed.

"You're seriously just going to stand here and tell me that my DEAD husband was pressured into selling child pornography by his brother?" I sneer at her sense of misapprehension.

"I believe Ryder was easily misled. What you really need to be asking yourself is... How did he manage to get himself caught when he never posted on the Dark Web, or let outsiders in that weren't a part of his original circle from the build-up?”

"Maybe he slipped and got sloppy or he pissed off the wrong people." I retorted.

I felt humiliated which was intertwined with confusion.

She slightly opens the door and lets out a long-lasting breath exporting little clouds of condensation from her mouth.

"I care about you," She says as she looks deeply into my eyes touching my damaged soul.

"Jimmy is behind this. I can feel it in my bones La and I really don't want to see you hurt again. Especially, if I can help prevent that from happening." She reaches out and touches my arm.

I step away from her gesture of comforting me. I feel like I'm suffocating as my world comes crashing down around me once again.

"You mean like now?" My voice cracks as I sniffle back the tears that refuse to piss off no matter how much I implore them to.

"Just think about what I've just said." She pleads.

"Before, you allow Jimmy to have free access in your life again. When Ryder is mentioned in his presence he's quick to change the subject and he begins to act real shady. He's too sketchy for me to not take an interest in." She pulls the door back and shifts to move forward.

"Let Chad know that I won't be in for the next couple of days,” I say as I turn around and walk back to my car.

I clamp a hand over my mouth muffling the screams of torment that threaten to break loose.

I walk as fast as my legs will take me to my car and I throw myself inside of it, slamming the door shut.

She's wrong... She's a fucking lying bitch who's obviously jealous that I'm fucking Jimmy!

How low does one need to step? I bang my hands against the steering wheel and it sends a tsunami of high pitched tones across the car park. People stop and stare at me before they continue to walk by, shaking their heads.

"Fuck you!" I yell at them while I flip them the bird.

I open my flask and skull back the amber liquid, letting it slide down the side of my face, the flows too fast for me to keep up and it burns the back of my throat right down to the pit of my stomach. I throw the empty flask on the backseat and wipe the side of my mouth. My body feels loose and my surroundings begin to spin. I lean back in my chair and try to replay Lisa's story.

If I was to set aside my anger and the hurt she's just laid upon me. I'd probably be able to see where she's coming from. I know deep down that she doesn't want Jimmy back because she doesn't swing that way. But, then she could also be seeking some kind of vengeance towards him because she's still not on good terms with her father and brother.

Jimmy's fault again.

After a few moments of thinking, I soon recalled his actions, yesterday. He refused to tell me when he suddenly told me he needed me. And when I asked him what was going on in that brain of his. He mentioned Ryder and that was it. The bastard looked cut up like he was torn between two places. I need to get to the bottom of this even if I have to kill him in the process.

God help me if that mother fucker is behind this, I will bring him to his knees and destroy the entirety of who he loves like a flame burning everything it touches.

As I wait for the earth to stop spinning. I rummage through my bag and pull out my shitty excuse of a phone.

Layla: We need to talk! The sooner the better.

I press send, throwing my phone on the passenger's seat shutting myself out from a world I loathe.