Chapter 50
"Yamin No God, no. Stop
Come back,"
When Katrina awoke to the shouting coming from Kylan, she wasn't confused this time. She knew exactly what was happening, even if she didn't understand why. She turned on her bedside lamp and checked the time. It was just after two o'clock, and she wondered when Kylan had come to
bed
She sat up, brushing her hair away from her face and staring down at Kylan next to her. He seemed to be even worse off than he was the night before, his bangs completely stuck to his forehead, and his face and chest both flushed an imposing red. "Why.. Come back! Come back!"
Kylan kicked out so aggressively, he almost fling himself off the bed as a result.
Once again, witnessing something like that was enough for her. She wasn't going to let him suffer through this alone. She couldn't She really couldn't. She thought about what her father would do for her as a child any time she had a nightmare, and an idea came to her. It was risky. Far riskier than stroking his hair the night before had even been.
But Kylan looked so helpless. So scared. So unlike himself.
She scooted over to him slowly and then laid back down, draping an arm over his abdomen so gently, he was sure not to even feel her at all. She rested her head on the pillow next to his, and then she took a deep breath. She recalled the lullaby both her father and mother used to sing she, swallowed down the nerves stirring up in her throat, and then she forced her mouth to open.
The long-forgotten words from her childhood, flowed from her mouth as little more than a whisper, hardly singing them at all. By the end of the lullaby, she hadn't realized that Kylan wasn't shouting or writhing about any longer.
He wasn't sleeping anymore, either. Instead, he was facing her. She was startled slightly upon seeing his grey eyes looking into hers. But the look on his face. His entire face. It was so open, so vulnerable. Never had she ever seen Kylan look like. Like that. She had no idea what he was thinking, but the way he was staring at her, studying her... It caused the skin across her body to heat up and her heart to race within her chest
"Qu'est-ce que vous faites?" Kylan asked, his voice thick with sleep and a bit hoarse from shouting
"Chanter pour vous," she quietly responded, surprised she understood that he was asking her what she was doing.
Kylan's breathing became ragged once more and he rolled to his side, his hand smoothing over the expanse of her upper arm, then over her shoulder, and then up the back of her neck. He gripped there, moving his face to be impossibly close to hers. "Kylan?" she whispered, searching his eyes, looking for a hint of what he was feeling. But she found nothing other than that same intensity looking back at her.
"Be quiet, Kate," Kylan breathed, his nose skimming hers, his eyes still locked on her own.
She licked her lips, confused, enthralled, and dizzy. So dizzy. "Okay, Kylan," she agreed, her voice shaking with unshed emotion.
And then he was on her. All at once, and all-consuming. Kylan was kissing her. His warm mouth covered her own, and she let out a startled gasp. Then, her arms were wrapped around his neck, and she was pulling him into her.
Closer, closer, she pulled him against her. He didn't resist, instead moving his free hand to grip her hip tightly. She angled her mouth, deepening the kiss just as Kylan's tongue grazed her lower lip. Her lips parted and his tongue was all over her mouth then Searching, seeking, dancing
She could hear her heart pounding in her cars over the sounds of her kissing. She could feel her skin coming to life everywhere he was touching
her.
Her mind went entirely blank, and the only thing left was Kylan.
The contract be damned. Her confusion be damned. She wanted him to touch her
To feel I
feel her
She should feel embarrassed, though she was anything but. Not whale Kylan continued to press his hips against hers. Not while he continued to kiss her with such passion, it nearly drowned her. "Kylan..she breathed against his lips. "Kylan, will you let me touch you?" she whispered, one hand back on his chest, her fingers trailing down toward his waistband.
Kylan didn't answer, kissing her instead. Her hand continued to brush across his skin until finally, finally, she reached him.
"No, Katrina. This isn't Shit," Kylan breathed against her neck, hot and heavy, while she palmed him through his pai "Katrina. You don't. The contract. Kylan sounded impossibly desperate, and she pulled his face toward her lips once more. pants.
Chapter 30
He allowed the kiss, but as soon as her hand moved to where it would be should be, he recoiled and shoved himself away from her. He stumbled off the end of the bed, panting heavily and looking at her with widened eyes. "Chnil Katrina," Kylan sounded most unli
mlike by
himself, running his fingers through his hair repeatedly.
She still lay on the bed, dazed, and confused for a moment. And then the reality of his rejection fell over her like a vat of ice-cold water. She sat up then, readjusting her nightgown back in place, now feeling all too exposed. She pulled the duvet over her and forced herself to look at Kylan.
"You. You kissed me. Kylan. You pulled my gown down." Her voice was shaking, and tears were dangerously close to forming in her eyes. This felr humiliating. Confusing Maddening
"You're my assistant, for fck's sake. The contract was clear about this. We can't cross that line, not ever" Kylan was still breathing unsteadily as he stared at her with a frown that took up his entire face. He let out a string of curses before running a hand across his disheveled hair. "What the hell are you doing to me?"
He wasn't being fair. She knew he wasn't "Kylan, you came onto me. I've never kissed you first. I've never initiated that. I've respected that boundary. You-"
"Don't sell me the Peking obvious, Katrina," Kylan snapped at her
She withdrew slightly, her hands gripping the bedsheets tightly. "I don't. I feel like I don't know what to do here she said to the bed, looking down now as tears indeed filled her eyes.
He was so, so angry. And while she understood some of his apprehension, she couldn't place all of it
"We had such a. A good couple of days. I thought.." She swallowed against the sandpaper in her throat. "And then the nightmare... j
None of it is real, Katrina. None of it. I told you that at the beginning of the contract. She would do well to remember it Kylan's words cut her far deeper than they had any right to
She closed her eyes and grit her teeth, willing and pleading with herself not to actually cry. Not to do that in front of him. Not him.
"Ill be on the couch, Rylan told her briskly, walking to his side of the bed and grabbing a pillow
He began to walk out of the room, and the floodgates broke. Tears floated down her cheeks and a pathetically choked sound left her throat. "Kylan. Please, I don't like how I feel right now. This is.. I feel like this is all wrong. Please, won't she talk to me! She had never begged him like this. Had never pushed him to talk about his feelings like this. But the aching in her chest that she didn't quite understand was propelling her forward.
Kylan turned around and looked at her, his hardened eyes softening for a fraction of a moment when he saw her tears. Maybe there was a chance he would talki
"There's nothing to talk about. We got carried away. It was inappropriate. I'm your boss, Katrina. Your fake fiance. None of it is authentic. The way Kylan spoke, the coldness returning to his eyes as he did, broke her. It all but shattered her. She only cried harder. "None of it?" She didn't know why she asked him, she really didn't
"None of it," Kylan confirmed, his jaw set and his eyes piercing with the truth of his words.
"I think.. I'm going to sleep. G-goodnight, Sir. 5-sleep well" She forced the words out, gasping at the end, and then turned on her side away from Kylan, pulling the duvet up to her neck
She didn't hear any walking for a moment, and the smallest part of her mind begged for Kylan to return to her and talk to her.
But he didn't, and she heard the bedroom door shut a minute later.
The tears Bowed freely then, both her mind and body buzzing, swimming, drowning with memories and confusion alike.
She was freefalling the tightrope pulled out from under her, her balance long forgotten.
Somewhere in the dark recess of her mind, she wondered if Kylan had already broken his promise to her father.
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