Chapter 90

Kassing him. Feeling him. Cradling him to her. Keeping him safe. Safe and loved.

And oh, how Katrina wanted to say that to him. How she wanted to tell him just how deeply, how impossibly she felt for him.

But somewhere in the recesses of her bliss filled mind, she knew that would be too much tonight. She knew several barriers had already been broken, several walls had been shattered. She knew she had gotten through enuntless tactical defenses that resided in Rylan's mind, and she couldn't push it Couldn't push him to be more vulnerable or-

"L.. You mean everything to me. Kate." It was Kylan who spoke first. Rylan who broke the sounds of her panting together, coming down from her highs.

She smiled at him, completely exhausted and spent, but happy. "You mean everything to me too, Kylan." She kissed his forehead once before withdrawing from his lap, already missing the feeling of him inside her.

Kylan rolled over and stumbled to his bathroom, coming back with a few towels to help clean t

clean the pair of them up

Together, she worked in silence to right his bed and fluff his mangled pillows. She pulled her pajamas, or really I Kylan's p

s pajamas, over her body. And then she sat down on Kylan's bed, and he sat next to her. She hesitated for a second, but then she reached for his hand and took hold of his fingers.

"Are you okay? Was that.. Okay?" As tired as she was, it was important for her to check in with Kylan. The last thing she wanted, was for him to withdraw from her because they were intimate again.

Kylan looked at her and her breath caught in her throat when she realized he was smiling at her. Full on, openly, smiling at her.

It melted her heart. Her mind was but a puddle of feelings so intense, she truthfully felt like crying.

"That was perfect, Kate. You are.. Perfect." He still sounded a bit awkward with his words, his confession, but it meant everything to her. Together, they fixed themselves beneath his duvet and settled so they were snuggled close together, their arms draped around each other Her fingers absently traced over the lines of his cardinal tattoo, her eyes scanning his profile as he stared at the ceiling.

"I think I'd like to get a tattoo," she whispered into the quiet of the bedroom.

Kylan shifted to look at her and she smiled at him sofily. "Maybe a robin. A small one. Somewhere only I'll see it and. And you." Despite all she had done with Kylan tonight, her face still flushed warm at the implication of her words.

"A robin symbolizes change and growth," Kylan said the words matter of fact, and she nodded in agreement, glad he already knew why she would want that specific tattoo,

"I does." She leaned over him to place a kiss on his cheek "Goodnight, Rylan. Thank you for letting me know you like. Like this." She pressed her face to the crook of his neck, breathing deeply, allowing the scent of him to full her further into relaxation.

It was easy for her to fall into the waiting blanket of sleep. Just before she was lost to the night around her, she felt Kylan's lips on her hair

"I love you, Kate."

The words were spoken quietly, softly, and she wasn't certain she had heard them correctly at all through her sleep filled mind. Surely, it was a dream. A nice dream

The best dream.

She held onto the dream and allowed it to pull her fully under, her arms securely around the man that was never meant to be the keeper of her heart. Kylan didn't have a nightmare that night.

Neither of them realized it until the following morning when they were seated at his kitchen counter, eating the breakfast be made. She was mid bite of avocado toast when the paused and looked at Kylan. He was eating his own food glasses still perched on his nose, hair a bit disheveled from their passion and sleeping.

He must have felt her staring, because he also stilled, his teacup halfway to his lips. "What?" he deadpanned, eyeing her warily

She cleared her throat and shook her head, wondering if she should draw attention to her thoughts. "You just... You didn't have a nightmare last

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Chapter 90

night, that's all." Her voice was timid, her eyes downcast on the stray crumbs that speckled her plate.

Kylan hummed, taking the drink of his tea now. "Truthfully, my nightmares have been shit before last night, ever since I started therapy." He wasn' looking at her, his jaw tense and his shoulders pulled taut now.

She hesitated for a second, and then laid her hand over his forearm. That's normal. Unpacking the amount of trauma you are. Anyone would be having nightmares." She licked her lips and shrugged. "I had nightmares all the time, during the thick of my own therapy she admitted easily

Kylan met her eye then, and she smiled slightly when she saw how kind the grey of his eyes were. "I didn't realize you had nightmares, too." He shifted on his stool, moving so his knee was pressed to her leg

"I did. Still do, sometimes. She gave another shrug, lifting her orange juice to her lips and taking a long drink of it. "Like I said, it's normal to have nightmares. It's just... Well, nice, that you didn't have one last night. I myself fell asleep pretty quickly. Did you?" She quirked her head to the side, observing his face carefully.

She thought she could remember Kylan saying something. Something big, right as she was falling asleep, but it could have been her imagination Or rather, she could have been projecting her own subconscious out into the world.

It wasn't that farfetched, not really. She wanted to tell Kylan she was in love with him. Desperately so. But that was too much, too soon. Wasn't ir

Kylan narrowed his eyes at her, the corners of his mouth inching into a frown. "I fell asleep when you did, Katrina." There was an unmistakable edge to his voice that caused her to shiver, and she knew she should stop pressing the issue.

If he had confessed that last night, he clearly wasn't ready to talk about it when he knew she was lucid. As much as she wanted to demand answers she wouldn't. For all she could assume, it would cause Kylan to retreat, and she was making progress with him. Her legs feeling a bit like jelly, her pelvis being a little sore, were testaments to the level of progress they had made together.

"Right, I figured as much. Thank you for breakfast, Kylan. Would you mind taking me by my apartment, so I can get ready for work! I don't exactly have the proper clothing here." She smiled at him sheepishly and he nodded, standing from his stool to gather the dishes. She watched him work, observing the way his body twisted and turned with each movement. She was mesmerized, really. Enthralled. Her lips were even still swollen from their many shared kisses the night before.

Yeah. Progress. They weren't going to disturb the natural progress they were making.

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