Death's Saviour
Chapter Eleven: Noah

Author's Song of the Chapter: Cruel World by Tommee Profitt

It has been a full week since I’ve seen Dusk, I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing but she isn’t with me. Dusk has shut me out and I don’t think she ever intends to let me back in. A shiver rattles my bones as my teeth chatter even when I’m wearing such a heavy sweater as we sit outside in the humid day. My friends can tell I’m not the same without Dusk being around, I’m sad again, almost to the point of being depressed.

“Dusk is at my house, she’s been staying there all week,” Perry states, his words cutting me open leaving me with fresh wounds as a deep rage digs into me causing me to want to hit Perry.

“Is she okay?” I question, Carl looks between Perry and I as if he knows something more and wants to say it but he doesn’t get the chance.

“She’s happy Noah, I make her happy!” Perry claims his voice strong, the implications of his words fuel my sudden rage as it brings on a violent shiver.

“What the hell do you mean by that?” I snarl out as my fists shake while the air between Perry and me seems to drop in temperature, Carl raises an eyebrow in interest.

“It means I didn’t judge her when she told me everything, I didn’t judge her when she trusted me, I didn’t hurt her. You, on the other hand, judged her and hurt her. Dusk doesn’t need you in her life, I can make her happy and you can only hurt her!” Perry tosses his words in my face, I begin to tremble as a blind rage comes over me.

“I’m her mate you bastard. I was made for her and I may have messed up but I belong with her, you do not!” I snap at him my words cause him to laugh.

Carl’s eyes widen as he backs away a bit watching me in awe as if he can see something around me that Perry can’t as if he can sense the rage boiling beneath my skin as the smell of rot seeps from my gut.

“She won’t forgive you, Noah, she is done with you and now I’m going to move in. She’ll make me what I need to be then I’ll be with her. I’ll rule her, you’re loss bro!” Perry smiles, I can’t hold back, I land a punch square on his jaw as it sends him reeling off the bench as snowflakes seem to float from my fist.

Perry’s eyes widen as he moves a hand up to rub his instantly blackening jaw where I hit him. I got so angry that it just overwhelmed me, I had to punch him. It was is the anger took control of me, now it’s gone as I watch the snowflakes float to the ground, something is happening to me. I look between the blood trickling from Perry’s split lip and the blood on my knuckles that don’t throb. Perry’s eyes lock with my own as anger pulses through him but I know Perry he is no fighter, he won’t hit me back.

“Perry you really are a psycho, still Noah not cool to hit him. You both don’t understand that Dusk has the right to her own opinion, her own life. Perry now that she knows the truth about you she doesn’t want anything to do with you, Noah you messed up and you may not get another shot and that’s okay because it’s her choice.” Carl states as he steps between as Perry staggers to his feet.

“She’s my mate!” I snap again my voice containing a dangerous possessiveness that has my hands shaking as the previous rage returns.

“If that were true then don’t you think she would be spending her nights sleeping in your room and not mine! She is mine, Noah!” Perry yells at me, this time Carl attempts to restrain me from hitting him again.

“You can’t be what she needs, you are a human and a wolf can never be with a human in the way she will need, you can never truly pleasure her or make her happy!” I toss the words out like venom even as I realize they are my truth, not Perry’s.

“I can be what she wants Noah, unlike you if she wants me to be a wolf then I will let her turn me in a heartbeat, I would accept it as a gift in order to be her ruler. I wouldn’t tell Dusk no, that’s what makes me different from you! I want to become my full potential and conquer her, couldn’t you imagine fucking that dominance she has right out of her until she’s a slave? Until she gives you everything you want?” Perry’s psychopathic words come out in a deadly calm voice as his words drive into me like daggers and I stiffen.

No way, no way, no fucking way would I ever let that happen. Dusk would never turn him, she would never ask him to be by her side as a wolf let alone turn into his slave. The tone of Perry’s words makes me consider he’s a psychopath. I realize by wanting to stay human that I’m practically telling Dusk that I don’t want to be with her. The truth is I’m not human, I’m a wolf. Dusk is my destiny, she is my mate and she’d back me up on anything I decide even though it hurts her. Emotions flit through me as I’m surprised by my sudden acceptance and willingness to help Dusk do whatever she needs if it means I can be with her. What life do I really have that I desire to keep? I need to fix things, I can’t and I won’t lose her to Perry. I turn and walk towards the forest as Perry stares after me blankly, Carl smiles at me as he approves.

“Thanks, Perry!” I call out as I walk in the hopes that it will get a final kick out of him as I confuse him with my sudden change.

I trudge into the forest with a lighter heart knowing that I am ready, I am ready to be what I need to be. I am ready to be what Dusk needs me to be. I won’t be giving up a life I will be gaining one. This is the life I was born to live but robbed of when my father was killed, and my mother chooses to bury her wolf within her. I move through the forest with the purpose of replaceing Dusk, I need her to feel that I need her. I need Dusk to come replace me even if it is pushing her, I need her to choose me over Perry. I am ready to be with her, I want her. Finally, as I was beginning to lose hope I come across as beautiful waterfall cascading from a rock cliff above and into a pool below I see a rock-leaning out over the pool in such an inviting manner. Something about this rock draws me to it as I settle down on it.

“You don’t need me, Noah.” Dusk’s voice comes out in a clipped tone from behind me but I don’t turn to look at her as instead, I keep my gaze focused on the waterfall because I need her to come to me.

I need Dusk to come and look me in the eyes so she can see that I’m ready and I do need her as she needs me. Dusk waits several moments for me to turn around before giving an angry huff, I know she isn’t coming to me, she will leave.

“I messed up. I judged you when you were perfectly kind to my mother when you killed someone for us. Because of my screw up, I lost you and that doesn’t seem to be something I can handle, I can’t handle the possibility of seeing you run into Perry’s open arms. I’m still learning Dusk, it’s no excuse but it’s all I’ve got.” I start sad and dreary before I feel lost as I clench my fists at the simple thought of her and Perry alone in his room, of her sleeping there.

“You looked at me like a monster Noah, an abomination. You didn’t let me explain the rest, I get it because you didn’t judge me wrong. I’m both of those things. I came back a soulless demon but Hannah fixed that, my damn heart didn’t threaten to beat until I met you. I’m not supposed to care about any of this!” Dusk speaks, her voice laced with pain and I abandon my plan as I turn jumping down from the rock.

I move to Dusk with purposeful strides and she doesn’t move away as I let her turn her empty eyes on me. I grab her chin forcefull in my hand making her focus on me as her eyes clear.

“You are not a monster, you never will be and if you don’t believe me then that makes me a monster too because when you killed that man for us, as I watched you snap his neck, I got a rush. I felt that need to destroy him and that terrified me. I was trying to process a lot that day but the urges were what I wasn’t ready for. I am learning though, I am, or was your mate and you are mine. I reacted poorly to you talking to me and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I gave you those impressions but Dusk I’m changing, I need you, I want you!’ I beg, pleading for her to give me a chance to make it up to her and Dusk darkens at my words.

“You are my mate, Noah!” She growls as soon as I finish, her eyes holding a deep possessiveness that causes me to smile as my heart swells with satisfaction.

“Feel like hitting me with the rest of you’re story and I’ll hit you with my own news?” I ask her gently as she gives a small nod in response, my soul melts because she’s letting me back in.

“I’m going to warn you now; the rest of my story is just as gruesome and hard to handle,” Dusk warns in a voice that is barely above a whisper, I pull her to my side before leading her up to the rock where we sit our feet dangling over the water below.

“I’ve already handled it badly once, I think if I handled it badly twice that would give you the right to beat me.” I joke and it earns me a cute laugh as her eyes meet mine.

“When I first came back I wasn’t a day older than the one I’d died. I hadn’t missed a beat but I was missing part of myself. I didn’t understand or remember anything, I just knew I didn’t have a solid form. I was a ghost with no memory of my soul, thus I was soulless. For a long period of time, I just wandered aimlessly through the forest here but not really here. When Hannah first stumbled on me I was in this state, a ghost haunting any who entered the forest. She nicknamed me the black dog because many who saw me didn’t live to tell anyone about it. Hannah was the first one to see me and walk away alive. When she came back again she had supplies and such, she drew something on the ground that interested me and trapped me. Hannah drew my name using wolfsbane, my name triggered my freefall through time. Somehow Hannah performed some kind of incantation that made me whole again, made me a living being, more than a ghost. She also returned my soul and my memories though I was still heartless. From there on you basically know the rest, the point of this beginning is I killed with no regret, I killed those who didn’t deserve it and I drained them attempting to replace myself…” Dusk continues talking but what she’s saying now doesn’t matter to me.

None of this changes anything, none of it truly matters. Dusk went through a phase where they didn’t bring her back properly, it was her body but it was not truly her.

“So, Crane thinks you’re dead and that gives us the upper hand?” I cut her off with my question as I put it all together.

I’ve accepted that Dusk had it damn rough. Yes, her brother killed her but because he and his pack slaughtered all of my kind, that they knew of, Death and the Wolf God made her a deal that she was to right things and try to get peace by exacting revenge. Hannah made it all truly possible by performing some ritual of a terrible version of Dusk in order for them to become like sisters as they taught each other about life. Nowhere in any of this destiny business was I expected. I’m a curve-ball that Dusk decided to roll with, she didn’t overlook me and that makes me feel like an inferno inside. Dusk is like electricity jumping through my veins, electricity that brings me to life.

“Yes, we have the advantage because Crane thinks I’m dead. I don’t even know the full potentials of my Hellhound gift. The fire powers I already inherited from my father but Death made them better and stronger, he gave me full control over them so I didn’t have to learn it.” Dusk explains adoration of her powers clear in her voice, adoration because it shows she doesn’t take advantage of such powers.

“Do all Wolves have powers?” I ask interested, Dusk gives me an I’m considering this look.

“I always thought the answer was yes but, I guess it was only those like me who shift whenever we wanted who got powers. Those who don’t, aka the white-furred wolves, seem to be powerless. I think it’s a major part of the reason that they killed off all of my kind, I think our powers terrified them and they were jealous.” Dusk explains to me in a thoughtful voice as her words jar me into curiosity as to if I have powers buried within me as I think about the snowflakes and my fist earlier.

“Do you think I have powers that are just dormant like my wolf?” I ask Dusk causing her to look at me in a way that sends a crackle of lust through me.

“Yes.” She replies swiftly as she really looks at me, I get the feeling she is seeing something that I don’t.

I notice her nose twitches as she takes in my scent, her nose scrunches when she does so making me think she isn’t telling me something.

“Dusk, I have decided that I’m dotty I was such an idiot, I want to be with you in whatever way it takes, I want to be your mate and not simply in the way we are now. I want the whole deal, I want to be able to kiss you and hold you. I want you to be able to hug me without worry, I want to be able to pleasure you and make you happy. I want to be the wolf that you need. I’m ready for you to bite me, to be who I’m supposed to be. I want to be like you, I want you. No, I need you and I’d really appreciate if you’d let me become what I need to be, I need you to choose me over Perry!” I tell her my voice raw as I look at her, as I talk I reach out brushing a strand of hair out of her face before tucking it behind her ear.

As I’m talking Dusk sucks on her bottom lip in a way that makes me really want to be able to kiss her right now but, she also has a kind of shell shocked look that scares me until she lets me through it. I see the pure joy in Dusk at my words even though she tries to hide it from me. At my final words her face falls into a confused look that makes my stomach fall.

“Noah, you are my mate, there has never been anything between Perry and I and there never will be. I needed a friend this past week and I thought Perry was one but I learned some alarming things today. I am your mate and you are mine, that is how things simply are whether you are human or wolf.” Dusk tells me ending her point with a joyous giggle that melts the anxiety from my body.

I don’t have anything to fear from Perry, I know that now. Yet, something still bothers me and I grasp at it. Perry was laying a claim on Dusk today and I’m pretty sure Dusk doesn’t even know, that’s wrong.

“Does Perry know you are just friends because he told me that you were his today. Perry told me that he could and would make you happy, he even told me he would become a wolf in a heartbeat to be with you, to conquer you.” I say trying to keep the anger out of my voice, but I fail, and it only becomes worse when Dusk laughs.

“Oh shit, you’re serious!” Dusk exclaims when she clues into my features, a bit of fear shoves its way back into my gut as I hope this doesn’t change anything.

Dusk runs her fingers through her hair messing it before she lashes out at the rock beside us splitting it with her knuckles causing me to jump. Dusk went from calm to enraged in a blink of my eyes as her chest heaves while the air around us heats. I can physically feel her anger, her blind rage as it pours off of her in waves.

“He has no right to lay any claims on me, he is not my mate and he never will be. I don’t like to be played and this just confirms what Carl told me. Perry only wants me because he wants to be a wolf, he wants my power so he can snuff me out and control me. No fucking way, fuck that, he’s a sicko!” Dusk growls out as she continues to lash out at the rock until a chunk of it breaks off falling into the pool of water with a splash.

I’m surprised at how quickly I feel approval over Dusk’s anger, she is right, she is my mate and that means no other male ever has a right to lay his claim on her. Dusk is mine and I don’t share what is mine. The thought shoots through my mind as I become more and more possessive until I feel like I could blow with my own rage. Suddenly a powerful cold chill grips me stealing my breath as my lungs freeze. I fail to receive air as a dizziness fogs my mind, I slide down the rock landing with a thud on the ground. I try desperately to suck in air but fail as my attempts end up with clouds of white air leaving my mouth and nose, what the hell is happening to me?

“Noah?” Dusk’s voice seems far away as I see her crouching over me while my body shivers viciously.

I close my eyes as warmth explodes in my chest spreading through my body, it’s not a vicious heat but gentle. When it reaches my lungs I feel as though an icy layer is being melted from them until I can suck in ragged breaths. I open my eyes looking up to see Dusk has her hands placed on my bare chest where she ripped my shirt open, the warmth eases my shaking. I realize that Dusk is heating me as I lay still on the ground. I breathe as Dusk’s nose twitches above me while her eyes glow as she views me with worry written on her face.

“How long have you had the chill?” Dusk questions her tone on the verge of fear.

“I guess I first noticed it after you healed me, it has just slowly gotten more noticeable. This is the first time this has happened, though I’m not sure what this is. I feel it’s important to say that snowflakes seemed to come from my fist earlier today.” I murmur as fear shoots through me as Dusk moves her head close to my neck inhaling deeply.

“Shit, Noah I think you do have powers that are winter and they are trying to shine through but they are killing you because you don’t have the strength to handle them. I need to make you shift and soon before this winter reaches your heart, the bite is risky but it’s the only way. I can melt the ice to help for now but I can’t do it forever.” Dusk explains to me, I let out a laugh in response as I’m unsure how to handle this news.

Dusk removes her hands from my body, but her heat doesn’t leave me confirming that Dusk is even more powerful than I can imagine. I allow her to help me stand, I pull the remains of my shift from my body as Dusk gives me a sly smile as she ogles me. I quite like it that she can’t tear her eyes from my body, I like the way she licks her lips as if she could lick me like she would a lollipop. For the first time, I can actually smell lust on her, a lust that makes my own body heat with a lust of its own as I try to control myself so my dick doesn’t go hard right now. Dusk is so comfortable with her own nakedness that she might appreciate the purpose of me getting a hard-on, still, it’s not the right time as I calm myself.

“I need to make a pit stop to talk with Perry and make it clear that he is never to lay a claim on me again. Do you mind if we do that before I give you a ride back to Sally and Chris’s?” Dusk asks me, I want to tell her now that we should just go let Perry figure out his own shit, but I don’t.

Instead, I give Dusk a small nod as she shifts for me allowing me to climb up on her shoulders. Now I am even more glad I calmed myself as I cling to her fur with one hand while letting the other wave through the air as she runs. This, this is the thing I think I will honestly miss most, getting to run through the forest on her back and experience the forest in the way she sees it. It’s like the forest becomes my home as well, my safe place. At this moment I feel like I belong as I can see and feel everything about the forest. It’s like I’m a part of it. A smile touches my lips as I come to understand that I’m not losing this when I’m a wolf I will get to run with Dusk, beside her, and truly be one with the forest. Excitement and happiness surge through me at the prospect of becoming the wolf I am meant to be. First, I have to make it through Dusk talking to Perry without losing it on Perry again.