Deicide the God Eater
The Sixteenth Chapter

It hurts me to set my gaze upon her, the beauty wets my eyes. I am looking at her as I walk backward intothe shadowy arms of my first lover. I amsure, as the gap widens between us, that this woman could love me if I spoke myheart. Yet, I remain silent. In the recesses of my mind I have alreadykissed her, walked hand in hand on the deserted beaches of my home world. I have made love to her and consoled herevery worry, but, I have also told her goodbye, forever. -Last journal entry of Antino Elias Myann I

Fawnsquirmed around in the black recliner, which moments before had been extremelycomfortable, but somehow the space seemed less inviting now. The ever-staring eyes of the Abyss, thoughhigh above, were crowding her, passing judgment. She began to calculate her odds of leavingthis room alive, wondering if Alpha knew what was happening, and if he hadenough influence with the noble to stop this execution. She promised herself she would give him nosatisfaction by screaming or crying, having already dodged the deceivingly hotclutches of death so many times before; she felt this ending was probablyappropriate. She looked up to meetDeicide’s eyes gazing back at her, replaceing no malevolence in them. To Fawn he looked nothing like the man shesaw hours ago, she had prepared herself to be sexually assaulted, ravaged byhim and the black tentacles of that alien monster, but now he looked as though hewas about to tell her she had an inoperable cancer.

Deicide saton the desk that was facing her. “Didyou ever meet my wife?” Deicide said.

“The eggthief?” Fawn said. “Yeah, I met her.”

“Did shetell you why?” Deicide said. “But I suppose it doesn’t even matter why, I’msorry.” She could see that there washurt in his eyes, but not from anything related to her.

“I reallydon’t know if I’m supposed to forgive you for something like that,” Fawnsaid. “Is there a reason for any of thistalk?” Fawn said.

“The Abysswanted to devour you,” Deicide said. “But she has reservations about harming the family.”

“Oh, is thatwhat I am to you now?” Fawn said. She wondered how they would look, thosechildren that grew from the eggs they had stolen from her, and then, why shouldshe care, but she did. She hoped theywould be better people than her, kinder, wiser, and gentler, if that was evenpossible from the stock which they came from, but there was something soft inthis man, a part within him that the Abyss protected most of all, perhaps hehad given it to a few of his other children as well as Rodela, and maybe thatwas why he favored her so much.

Deicidesighed and then nodded. “Yes,” hesaid. “If humans can believe they remainone race after all the mutations, then yes.”

“I don’twant any part of this,” Fawn said. “Andneither would Alpha if he was paying any attention.”

“Even if Icould return something you had lost?” Deicide said. “As payment foryour genetic material.”

Fawn’s lipsparted slightly and she began to shake her head slowly. “What…what do you mean?” she said.

“Come,” Deicidesaid; she followed him down a dark stairwell which opened to a dimly litgallery much larger than the library it was attached to. It was filled with enormous tapestries andhand painted frescos, depicting great battles. Columns of massive stone statues lined the center of the space, heroicfaces of men and women, defiant, haughty, all in triumphant poses, eternallycast in the role of hallowed knights and martyred warriors. In front of each piece was a tome holding anindividual’s biography or the history which led up to the battle displayed,below this was the subject’s dying words. Fawn watched as he walked ahead of her with strangely renewed goodspirits, addressing the statutes by pet names, tickling their feet; as if hewere amongst friends. Fawn imaginedtheir deaths being extraordinarily bloody and exceedingly public, with herassumptions being confirmed as she browsed a few of the biographies, filledwith large color photographs.

“GideonGipfel. The judge who wanted me chargedfor war crimes because I aided the armies of his enemies,” Deicide said.

“Didhe?” Fawn said, scanning for a moreinteresting profile.

“Yes. I served a single day of the sentence, toenlist some new soldiers, of course. Then Ichor rescued me. I was just a pup then, and the Abyss was justa shadow,” Deicide said; arms clasped behind his back.

“That’sit? You just left?” Fawn said.

“Oh no. We headed to his palace, right after that,marched the staff of his whole estate into the Aeolipile as he watched from thecourtyard. Then I sawed his head offwith a breadknife, after I told him I was going to ravish his daughters,” Deicidesaid. Fawn continued to keep herdistance as she carefully moved through the statues.

“Classy,” Fawnsaid.

“I nevertouched them. If you read the militaryhandbook, you would know we frown on such things,” Deicide said.

“And howdoes that make you any less of a murderer?” Fawn said. Deicide appeared before her in an instant.

“It doesn’t,but aren’t you a little less nervous?” Deicidesaid. Fawn shrugged and moved on,somehow relieved that her children would not grow up in a society where consentwas optional.

“BlackBrian. He was like you and your brother,an Intrinsic. He could generate powerjust from the food he ate,” Deicide said.

“Which was?”Fawn said.

“People,”Deicide said. Fawn turned away to faceanother statue located on a circular dais toward the room’s center. “And you’ve never had the urge?”

“I don’tknow what the fuck you’re talking about,” Fawn said.

Deicideshrugged. “I’ll drop it then,” Deicidesaid.

“Who’s arethese? The nameplates are all blank,”Fawn said. She watched Deicide’s mooddampen.

“One of theLionesses, Ecocide the World Eater,” Deicide said. “As well as her sisters, Genocide andVivicide.”

“Damn, doesshe really look like that? She lookslike a badass bitch,” Fawn said.

“She is. She fears nothing, except maybe that I’ll goon living. I received these from her,”Deicide said, as he gestured to the three diagonal scars across his face.

“But theyaren’t finished,” Fawn said.

“They aren’tdead,” Deicide said, pausing. “I’mshowing you this because if you fail to heed my warning you’ll be going righthere,” he said; pointing to the very center, there was a platform, but nostatue. Fawn made her way over toDeicide and gazed at how large the foundation was. This was obviously the center piece to hismuseum of heroes; the stone he had chosen for the foundation was twinkling inthe soft light from above. She hopped upon the circular slab and swung her feet.

“I hope yourealize you’re sitting on your own grave,” Deicide said.

“And how wouldyou know?” Fawn said.

“This hallis filled with people who were just like you,” Deicide said. “Those gifted individuals that rise to thetop of every society. That’s how yourworld works, isn’t it? The naturallysuperior monkeys rule the stupid and the weak?”

“Isn’t thathow every world works?” Fawn said.

“No. Not my world,” Deicide said.

“Aren’t youthe god of all eaters?” Fawn said.

“Onlybecause I was the first,” Deicide said. “Time is only a friend to the eater.”

“Enough. What does this have to do with what I’velost,” Fawn said.

“Theprivileged on this ship only die because they choose too,” Deicide said. “Or Iallow them.”

Fawnclenched her fists. “Just…just say it,”Fawn said.

The Abyssrose up from behind Deicide, and then placed herself before Fawn. Countless voices were heard from behind hermaw and then she wretched up black mannequins, which twisted and jerkedthemselves into a standing position. Thevestige dripped away to reveal the tormented faces of Hirsch and Doe Dearborne,their name tags and badges still attached to the lapels of their shop coats.

“It wasyou?” Fawn said. “I saw the Fossas’ship-“

“It musthave been empty, the station was scheduled to be scrapped in a matter ofhours,” Deicide said.

“Where arethey?” Fawn said. “Why haven’t I seen them? Or my little brother?”

“Sleeping,all of them,” Deicide said.

“Asleep?”Fawn said.

“A giftedengineer and a gunsmith, my wife would not allow any of that to go to waste,”Deicide said. “They were sent to the Somnus Engineering Corps.”

“Well? Wake them up,” Fawn said.

“If it wasthat simple to bring someone out of a vestige coma, then everyone would be adreamer,” Deicide said. “Just know thatthey are alive, and I have them.”

“What is ityou want from me?” Fawn said.

“To not warwith me,” Deicide said. “But I know youcan’t ignore this. Somewhere inside youthere is a voice that’s telling you what you’re beginning to believe is theright thing. My wife told me thisfeeling was normal. Most of the time,when conditions are livable, it can be ignored, this is also normal. Those who were unable to suppress it, end uphere. If you’re lucky you’ll end up asone of these lovely statues, or somewhere on my wall.”

Fawn grippedthe corner of the slab she was sitting on. “I’ve never met a man who could put fear in my heart,” Fawn said.

Deicideturned so he could face her squarely; he exhaled a cold breath as his antennaslightly probed her face, she could feel the heat from the tiny red lights attheir tips. Fawn watched as the Abyssflared behind him, reaching around with her black tentacles to intimidate her. Fawn held herself firm, not allowing a singleeyebrow to betray her; she was a wolf maiden and he was a lonely stray thathappened to come across her in the forest. Her eyes never left his, even as he closed the gap between them. She was ready to lash out with all thestrength her body could manage, even if it was in vain, she would show thisbeast her warrior’s pride.

Now that theAbyss was closer she could hear the whispers that many other soldiers hadmentioned, at first she thought she heard children, but they were the giddyvoices of women. This wild cross talkwas hard to follow and Fawn could only determine that it was gossip. Fawn was stewing behind her steady eyes, howcould this creature know what it did? Itknew about the cute Risk Eater cadet she was hoping would notice her; that her angerstemmed from her disgust with the wars she forced to take part in, even theheaviness of her menstrual cycle. Shecould feel that the Abyss’ eyes saw through her mask, even if Deicide did not.

“The Abysswants to force you through a series of progressively smaller holes,” Deicidesaid.

“Does shemake all your decisions?” Fawn said.

“When theiroutcomes are trivial,” Deicide said.

“If youdon’t want me to fight for you, then what do you want?” Fawn said.

Deicidegently took both of her hands in his; it was then that she noticed his sharpfingers. Fawn lowered her chin, in casethe man grabbed for her throat, but as she saw the pleading look in his eyesshe doubted he would. He desperatelywanted something from her and Fawn was sure that she could never give it. She would rather kill herself than live assome man’s concubine. He could neverhave her, no matter what he offered.

“Yourbrother’s one of my finest Risk Eaters. My people’s families are always cared for. Nothing you desire will be kept out of yourreach,” Deicide said.

“In exchangefor what?” Fawn said. “Be happy in our little fishbowl? What if I want to feel the sun on my face,wind in my hair?”

“There areworse alternatives,” Deicide said.

“I’veheard. Is that how you deal with peoplewho don’t agree with you, shove them in those ghettos?” Fawn said.

Deicidelifted her chin with thumb and forefinger. “I would never do that to the sibling of one of my people. Besides, why waste such beauty? There should be more faces like yours around,”Deicide said.

Fawnsnatched her face away from his grip. “Yourmonster showed me some puppets in my parents’ image,” Fawn said.

“Nature hasmade you pretty and strong, but I have mastered Nature. A person who has been handed the tools forsuccess will never beat me,” Deicide said.

“Then whyfear me if you have all the cards,” Fawn said.

“For mychildren,” Deicide said. “Our children.” And then Deicide began to spread his killbox.

“To hellwith you and your fucking magic,” Fawn said.

Deicidejerked his head back. “I admire thegutsy attitude of your family, but after you’ve pissed and shit yourself andyour eyes are bulging out your skull because I’m squeezing the life out you,your death won’t be any less pathetic when they factor in your bravery. Your brother won’t be comforted because youwere strong until the end. You’ll justbe another mindless voice in the Abyss,” Deicide said, dropping her hands.

Fawn heldher stare for another moment before she slid off of the stone slab; her fistswere tight as she passed through the subtle killbox Deicide had spread. She could feel the Abyss behind, mocking herretreat. She wondered, if that was allthe Abyss was, just the mindless ghosts of people that had fallen by hishand. She felt weak, as if Deicide hadsomehow drained her energy through touch. Her brow was moist with a cold sweat and her lunch was churning violentlythrough her intestines. With every stepher foot wavered before it hit the floor and she began to wonder if she hadbeen drugged.

The doors tothe library slid open and she was faced with Rodela, from behind them, Deicidewaved her away. Fawn turned downRodela’s offer to help her back to her room; she believed the young soldier wasa genuinely kind woman, but there was an unmistakable scent on her that shedoubted would ever come off. The smelloffended her and made her sick even after she had been on board for severalmonths, it seemed to be everywhere, but stronger around people closest toDeicide. She lacked the patience to dealwith it at the moment. Fawn retreated toher room and fell into her rack, wondering what was to happen now. She thought of escaping, but this place wasalways buzzing with activity, and her face was bound to end up on the corner ofevery display and terminal within the next few minutes. As her mind raced and her pulse quickenedAlpha burst in with a bewildered look on his face.

“You fuckedup!” Alpha said, as he dropped himself down in a chair in the corner.

“What am Ilooking at?” Fawn said.

“The best thingthat can happen is they send you to a decent District filled with Arbaronians,”Alpha said.

“Or theykill me?” Fawn said.

“I don’tthink they will, but motherfuckers have been killed for less. I’m not gonna let them kill you. You’re my blood,” Alpha said.

“I’m notafraid of dying, Alfie,” Fawn said.

“What thefuck are you talking about? You’re notdying. We just have to go plead our caseto Legal department, then dash over to Mental Health. Tell them about Mom and Dad, that you’ve gotanxiety about-” Alpha said.

“Alfie!”Fawn said.

“What?”Alpha said.

“I can’t,”Fawn said.

“What aboutMom, Dad and Buck?” Alpha said.

Fawn threwher hands into the air. “I can’t be here. I can’t do this,” Fawn said. “And if theycould wake them up, wouldn’t they have done so already?”

“I…I neverreally thought about that,” Alpha said. “To tell the truth, I never think about it at all. I just do what our family has always done.

“We neverenslaved people,” Fawn said.

“But we’vealways killed them,” Alpha said. “You’ll get over it. I did. The people at the bottom want to be there. They don’t care about rules, or the future. They just want to be taken care of. Who cares how they live?” Alpha said.

She couldhardly believe those words had come from his mouth, he sounded more callousthan Deicide and this time the words were his own. He was one of them; he had thrown away hisideals in order to hold these wicked beliefs closer to his chest. The wars they had witnessed had beendifferent for the both of them; they fought for their own agency, for theircountry’s sovereignty. Now Alpha caredfor nothing except his own comfort, the misery he caused enabled him to ownmore things. If he snuffed out therebels in his county he was sure to be promoted and given an estate. It was then that she realized that theAeolipile’s main function as a machine was to transfer agency back to Deicide,for what, she did not know, but she knew that the only way to free these peoplewould be to break down their toxic culture.

They couldhear a crowd forming on the plaza; Fawn looked to Alpha and then moved to thedoor. It slid open to reveal a group of Sicariis,the hard-faced extremists that looked at Deicide like a living god. They had no name tapes on their uniforms, butfrom their faces she could see that these were the soldiers that very few eversaw regularly, Deicide’s secret police. Recruited from a pool of the secular believers, these personnel veryrarely circulated in the general population onboard the Aeolipile unless on officialbusiness. Their veins were black fromthe vestige in their systems, faces scarred from thousands of confrontationswith Deicide’s enemies. They wore noSkids, their skins and muscles hardened from the toxic chemicals consumingtheir flesh. It was said, that when onehad absorbed enough untreated vestige material that they could never refuse anorder from Deicide, their minds were imprisoned by his words.

Fawn thoughtabout fighting, she was sure she could catch two of them off guard, but even ifshe escaped there was sure to be hundreds of other idle soldiers waitingoutside.

“Come withus,” one said, black smoke spilling over his teeth. Fawn could smell the sickening odor oncemore. Her head hung low as she swallowedthe saliva gushing into her mouth. Sheclosed her eyes and belched, hoping her stomach would settle if she took deepbreathes.

“You tooLieutenant,” another said. They walkedwith the nameless men out into the plaza, through the crowd of questioningonlookers. Fawn only saw faces filledwith pity staring back at her as she walked in the center of the men, Alphawhispered advice on what might happen next, but Fawn was focused on keeping herstomach from turning inside out. Theytook a Gate into a hanger filled with ships and maintenance personnel runningabout and then out into a dark passageway. Fawn strained her eyes in the tricky lighting, thinking she could seethe Toy Box at the feet of a dark figure. As the darkness began to waft around the passageway, she knew it wasDeicide and the Abyss. As theyapproached the smell grew unbearably stronger and Fawn wretched several timesbefore emptying the contents of her stomach. A thick gray paste surged from her throat and clung to the wall, she hadno memory of eating anything even close to its texture. She spit what had not made its way out of hermouth and glanced up at Deicide, who was only a few inches from her. He seemed concerned, but Fawn thought it wasbecause she had just puked into a communications box.

Deicidegestured to the open door. “This planetis occupied by your allies,” Deicide said. Fawn looked to her things in front of him and then to the glowing redtips of his antennas.

“Why?” Fawnsaid. “Just kill me and be done with it.”

“Destroyinglife is not as easy as you believe,” Deicide said, reaching out to touch her,but stopped short. “Even those that youknow would slash your throat if given the chance.”

Fawn spitonce more and stood up straight, feeling slightly better now that the slop wasout of her system. She noticed the threeof them were alone; the nameless soldiers had slipped away without her notice,even then she was still guarded, her eyes constantly checked Deicide’sshoulders, watching the Abyss watch her. She tossed a quick glance to her brother who was standing completelystill, probably thinking that Deicide would not notice him if he did so. The hold Deicide had on some of his soldiersseemed almost godly; only the most outspoken of them were not cowed in his presence. She knew now that those soldiers who weregrossly familiar with the Eater were his blood, all of them brown, beige, andyellow, freckled, wide-eyed or narrow, no matter their mother, they all had hiscynical smirk, though none of them possessed the sad look of his eyes.

“Alfie?” Fawnsaid, looking toward her brother. Heavoided her gaze, and instead looked to the ground and then to Deicide.

“We have tostay together,” Fawn said. Alpha saidnothing. “Alpha! We’ll be alright, youdon’t need this.”

“Soon therewill be no place where the Aeolipile is not,” Deicide said.

“Fawn, Ican’t go. I’m sorry,” Alpha said, beforehe turned away.

“You condonethis? You allow a man to turn his backon his sister? On his blood?” Fawn said.

“Alphaproposed I keep you here against your will, because he thought that I wouldexecute you otherwise,” Deicide said. “It is you who is abandoning him. Do you really believe that you’ll survive another Deathless rush?”

“I’vesurvived worse,” Fawn said.

“Only becausewe were looking for you,” Deicide said. Fawn took a deep breath and her eyes found their way to the portal thatwas being activated in place of the door. Deicide grabbed her gear, as well as some supplementary survivalequipment.

“You’ve beenlucky your entire life, until I became aware of your existence,” Deicide said,tossing the Toy Box and her gear through the portal. “Now you live in a fragile shell made of mypatience.”

Deicidegrabbed both of her arms and pulled her close. “Pray that it holds.” He said, ashe shoved her through the portal and into the darkness.