Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 222

"Okay, so what about this one?" I was coming out of the dressing room, standing before the obviously bored man that didn't want to be here, glancing up from his phone where he was sitting, not really wanting to be here, same as me. "Yes, that one is fine too..." Joseph looked down at his phone again when my mood dropped. I know it was stupid, and I didn't want to spend all evening getting a dress to attend the event the Sullivans hosted. Still, he could at least tell me if he hated it or not. I mean, that was his skill!

"Joseph..." I was pleading with him when he raised his eyes again, showing contempt. I was losing whatever confidence I had standing in a dress that was too expensive for me to pay for. Jonah was right about that part; this place was not made for people that didn't save half their paycheck for at least six months to get one dress.

"What? I'm just here to f**k*g pay anyway. I don't care which one you will get; that is none of my business!" I whined, hearing him snap at me, wanting to start crying.

He didn't care, and I knew it wouldn't fix anything between us, but I was pregnant, and he was making me feel even worse in a place I didn't belong.

"You think crying is going to make me feel bad for you?

Please, Andrea, my mother invented that move you are making; that doesn't work on me since I don't f**k you." | blinked, seeing Josephs stern face, not budging before the unfallen tears in my eyes.

"Fine! Let's just get this f*****g dress, and you can take me back home!" I was picking up the ends of the long dress, clenching my jaw on my way back to the dressing room, f**k him! He didn't care about me, and I didn't care about him!

"That doesn't work on me either!" He was shouting it after me when I reached for the zipper, cursing that the woman here to help was nowhere to be seen. What kind of service did you get at this place anyway?!

"f**k!" I was reaching a few times more, wanting to get out of the stupid thing off me that would be the choice I was going to have to wear tomorrow; maybe I should just keep it on until then, get to the Sullivans and leave, so everyone could be f*****g happy!? I cried now, mostly because I didn't want to attend this new year's celebration! I wanted to be home and spend it with my babies and Jonah, possibly even the Browns, but not the Sullivans and the rest of the world that would hate me!

The door to the dressing room opened. I made another curse, believing it finally was the saleswoman. She would be pissed if she saw that I had smeared my dress with snot while wiping my eyes fast and taking a deep breath, just wanting to return home again. Thate it." I turned, surprised to see Joseph standing by the door and looking at me like he didn't want to be there but couldn't help himself, maybe he did hate the dress enough to get over the fact that he hated me

*Me too..." I was still sniffling when he made the tiniest of smiles, just a slight twitch of the corners of his mouth like he knew that already.

He sighed, coming closer when I turned my back against him, knowing he would always help me with the zipper.

Our eyes met in the mirror when I finally was free and started to undress right before him, not giving a s**t that he was seeing me or my underwear; it wasn't the first time and not the last.

"Told you that you got knocked up..." Joseph smirked now when I was standing before him, my baby bump showing way more than I ever did with Kira. The twins made sense, but I couldn't explain more that this was my third pregnancy.

"Yeah... I did....." I was smiling now, holding my hand over my next baby, I couldn't wait to see how he or she would look since Jonah didn't want to know the gender, and I let him decide since I didn't care.

"My mother would be pleased hearing she is getting a grandchild..." I smirked back now when he wasn't angry, just being snotty and staring at me like he was thinking about how reality would look if I really had been his fiancée and not Jonah's.

*I bet she is... we can name her Eden or something..." I snorted back when Joseph stopped smiling, like the playfulness between us was over, no matter how brief it had been.

"She's dead." I gasped, hearing that when I reached for my sweater, still holding it with my clutching hands. Was he serious with me now, dead?! When the f**k did that happen?!

"Joseph, s**t... I'm sorry..." I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I wasn't sure he would let me, he wasn't too fond of people coming close, and I was not on the VIP list right now.

"Yes, she was found underneath the bed in some crappy motel; her junkie boyfriend panicked when she didn't wake up after they got jacked and just left her..." I wanted to cry hearing that, not that it wasn't so f*****g awful to hear, but he was hurting so much, and I had no idea how to make him feel better.

"Oh, f**k... That is f*****g awful..." I was still standing with my sweater, not knowing what to do, when he stared at the ground. Had he even told anyone about this? His parents, Tom, maybe? He couldn't have walked around and kept that s**t all to himself all this time!?

"Joseph, please tell me you have told someone about this, your parents?" I didn't want to sound accusing, but that's what I felt right now. Not blaming him for not telling his parents, more that he hadn't let anyone know and was trying to make it on his own. He didn't answer when he just took the sweater from my hands and walked out again, only to leave me dumbfounded when he came back with a dress that I wouldn't even take a second look at it walking past; it was f*****g gold!

"Don't f*****g look so terrified. Do you want my help or not?" Joseph held the dress carefully when I nodded; yeah, sure, I wanted his help, but my dress wasn't the problem right now. It was him and being all alone when he wasn't. I was his friend, and he knew that. "Joseph, do you need any help with the funeral or ....

"I stopped when his eyes showed me he didn't want to discuss it. Whatever had happened, it was done.

I was sliding the dress on carefully when he turned me around, closing the zipper and staring into my eyes with his blue severe making me gulp from how heavy they seemed; that's why he had been acting so different recently, he was hurting, and it wasn't even over Jonah and Tom almost popping him off for betraying them, it was his sister.

"They are going to f*****g hate me..." I was saying it scared, searching for his eyes again, wanting to tell someone just how terrified I was going to this event Jonah was dragging me to, whether I wanted to or not.

"Yes, they are... Shailene is beautiful and friendly..." I made a hurt face; he was telling me the truth, like everyone else, Jonah's perfect young wife, whom I didn't stand a chance against.

*and she is the daughter of some tycoon back in Ireland, so yes, Andrea, people are going to f*****g hate you, especially in this dress..." Joseph looked cunning again when he turned me around, making me lose my breath.

Omg! It was f*****g gorgeous on me!

"I had no idea gold could look so f*****g beautiful......" I was stroking the fabric with my hands only to have Joseph smack them away, frowning that I even was trying to do it.

"It's champagne, but since you are a f*****g stray cat that I got stuck with as my bestie, I already know that you wouldn't see the difference if I f*****g tried..." I lost my smile hearing that. Did he just call me his best friend? He was grinning the slightest, aware of what he just had said. Joseph didn't say s**t he didn't mean; wasn't his style.

"Don't look like a f*****g fish, you heard me, and I said it." He was fixing the trail on the dress with his hands when I still didn't believe he had just said that. Joseph was my bestie. How the f**k had that happened?!

"Joseph... My last two best friends are dead..." My chest was hollow, heart cold when he stopped looking so amused and focused on the dress, not wanting to look me in the eyes right away, buying himself time nitpicking at the beautiful drape over the skirt. "... yes... let's break that trend. I don't plan on being your dead best friend number three...." Joseph looked up, showing me... something that I didn't like. Did he even care if he was dead or not? That's what his eyes were showing me right now. "Kayla and James didn't plan to be dead either!" I was getting angry. Why was he telling me that I was his f*****g best friend only to look like he didn't care if it was going to break me or if he was really going to be the number three on my dead friend list!? Joseph sighed when I turned around, not giving a crap about the dress anymore. No matter how beautiful it was, he was hiding something, and I wanted to know right f*****g now what it was!

"I am not going to die, Andrea. Stop f*****g panicking! just because I feel like s**t over Eden and my parents exiling me for life for being f*****g gay...." He stopped when I clenched my jaw. What! He told his parents he was gay, and they exiled him!? "Oh s**t! You told them!? Why didn't you call me!?" I was accusing him straight to his face. He could have f*****g told me s**t was up, and I would have helped him. I would have chewed out that crazy woman that was his mother so hard she would pray that she never saw me!

"No.... No, I didn't tell them... After Eden... well, they wanted to come over, and I didn't know and.... they saw me kiss my boyfriend, and that was it." He shrugged like it was no big deal, like I couldn't see how lost he was when he looked at the dress more than me. s**t, he really had a hard f*****g time, even outside the fact of dealing with Jonah!

"That is not f*****g it! Give me the number to your mom, and I am going too..." He smirked hearing him say that, panting, upset, and wanting to kill his parents for being so unsupportive, he was their only child left, and now they didn't want him!?

"You are going to do what? Tell her that she is a f*****g b***h for saying that if I won't go to a f*****g camp and convert, I am going to burn in hell and that I am not her son?" He smirked more, my face dropping with every word he was telling me. She said that!? "Holy s**t....

"I wanted to sit down suddenly, losing my last

strength, adrenalin surging around my body, and holding my hand on the baby I was having. She did say that, didn't she?

"Andrea, I don't hate my mother." He just said that like there was all there was for it, and I couldn't understand how he could forgive his mother for being so heartless?

"I do..." I was ashamed to say it out loud when he snickered like he knew that too when I was staring at myself in the big mirror; the dress was stunning and made me look like I belonged in a room next to everyone else attending the new year's gala. "Oh, you firking do... s**t, I think you hate that woman even more than the fucker you are getting married to..." Joseph snickered again when I was the one looking deflated. I did hate her with all my heart.

"Okay... Soo... I'm going to go get that stupid woman that is clearly getting fired for not being here and f*****g helping us!" Joseph took off before I could answer him, still lost in my eyes, swaying the skirt on the dress back and forth.

Joseph came back frowning. I had heard him yelling at the woman in the background, not caring, still not knowing what the f**k I was supposed to do with all my feelings flooding me from nowhere.

"Andrea, we need to send this over to a tailor and take some inches around your boobs, and... the trail is far too long for you..." I didn't care what he was talking about; the dress looked nice, in my opinion, and the brooding man that was examining me like he was finally having something else to focus on than being f*****g miserable.

"Who is your boyfriend?" I followed him with my eyes when he stopped like he didn't want me to ask that question. I still haven't seen him!

"Andrea, please... just don't go there..... We are not together anymore and..." he did look pained like he didn't want to talk about it. What? He just told me his sister was dead, and his parents exiled him, but him losing his boyfriend was the one thing he didn't want to talk about!?

"Because of your parents?" I wasn't sure he even wanted to tell me. He was like Jonah in that area, maybe that's why they were having so hard not butting heads. They had similar personalities, and Jonah was more charming and sociable than Joseph's shield and contempt for people.

He looked at me again but didn't answer this time, instead, he was pinning me with needles, and I growled when one of them was pricking me right in my f*****g boob!

"Because of me.... I didn't want to keep going after what happened with Evans. I might have said something that I couldn't take back and ....

"Joseph smiled and looked even

sadder, f**k. He really was having a hard f*****g time, wasn't he? I was going to kill Jonah if he gave him more s**I for being a traitor, I didn't care, and maybe he didn't have a f*****g choice? My life hadn't been easy either since I crossed paths with Jonah Sullivan. "Okay... but... you know that if you are my best friend and all that... you can tell me... I know it's been about Jonah and me a lot, but... you know... I do care..." I watched him smile when he was still pinning needles on the dress. Just how f*****g much was he going to change anyway??

"I know you do; that's why I f*****g liked you from the beginning, even if you were a boring old woman dressed like a hobo.." he smiled more when I swatted at him, missing him with an inch to his mocking laughter, oh was he proud that I couldn't get to him, that pompous a*s!

"Shut up. I didn't dress like a hobo!" I was laughing too when the woman came out, her face was red, and she didn't even look Joseph in the eyes when she was talking to him, scowling again, losing whatever friendliness he had before she came inside. Oh yes, he was a f*****g cactus.

I was getting out of the dress, Joseph was cursing at me several times when I handed it over carefully when he walked away when I got dressed, seeing myself in the big mirrors. s**t.

I really looked pregnant, didn't I? Joseph yelled again at the poor woman when I dressed fast, deciding that maybe she didn't stick around because he wasn't friendly. God knows I have been around customers like him... "Okay babe, let's go, leave the poor woman alone..." I dragged Joseph back when he looked grim at the woman who wouldn't fight back, and we never did.

"It's okay. I just explained to Marie that if she f***s up my dress, I am going to make sure she gets fired

..." I sighed

and nodded when I took Joseph's arm and pulled him towards the exit getting the slightest gratitude from the woman when he still scowled, walking outside with me.

We got inside the car, and I was feeling better, and so did he smile at me. I hoped that he didn't just shut me out, it still felt so f*****g awful hearing all that, and he didn't have anyone to share it with, all that f****g sorrow.

"Andrea, wait..." I was getting out of the car; Jonah had called me twice and snapped ten, so I knew that he wanted me back to help with the kids; it wasn't that easy being alone with all three of them, and he was just taking off his training wheels as a dad. "Be ready tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do to get all that wildcat out of you..." I smiled when he said that mocking me like he really believed that. Yeah, so I was a wildcat that didn't have table manners, and he loved me just the way I was. "Sure, I'm going to ask Mary since I know Jonah won't be able to have the kids... but I'll call you, okay?" I smiled more when he nodded, the warmest spreading around my chest, seeing him look like he was looking forward to spending the day with me. "Andrea!" I turned around, seeing Jonah standing at the entrance, Noah and Jamie in his arms, and Kira looking out behind him, looking like she couldn't wait to get me back. I only had been away for about an hour and a half.

"Yeah, I'm coming baby... listen, Joseph.... Thank you for everything... I mean.... I f*****g love you..." I squeezed his hand, and he smiled again when I leaned back, closing the door. Thank God for him helping me; otherwise, I would have looked like s**t facing Jonah's parents like it wasn't hard enough as it was.

"Mommy, I missed you!" Kira was about to run out onto the driveway barefoot in the snow when Jonah stopped her, and the boys were screaming too. Yes, it was good to be home again to my babies.

"Finally! Thirty more minutes, and I would have come after you!" Jonah was cursing inside his head when I smiled more and kissed him. I loved him so much, and just coming home and seeing everyone I loved together still felt like a dream.

"Yeah, I know you would have..." I snickered, following Jonah and closing the door after steering Kira back inside.

I was home.